Why have you been in love for many years, but you can t enter the palace of marriage?

Why do people get together? Some people will say it's because of feelings. What is the basis for what happens in such a relationship?

It's all good emotional feelings. That is, one party satisfies a series of spiritual needs of the other, such as the desire for conquest, intellectual curiosity, and mystery. To put it simply, it's all you want from you.

According to these good emotional feelings, both people feel that being with each other is a happy thing. In order to have more happiness, everyone will be eager to stay with each other for a long time. That's how it is in the love stage.

At that time, everyone saw that each other was absolutely perfect, and it matched our requirements. Being with each other is both sweet and proactive. Everyone hopes that this happiness can continue for a long time, but this person can belong to us forever.

However, it should be noted that emotions are changeable and situational. In other words, as soon as the scene that harms the mood changes, the mood will follow suit.

For example, when we are in love, we enjoy the other party sticking to everyone and taking care of ourselves, which makes us feel happy. But after a long time, the other party's sticky personal behavior will not produce positive feelings, the original sweet scene is gone, our happy emotions will follow, and it may even become boredom. From being together to being apart, it's all about emotions.

It is also impulsive for a couple to choose to change from a relationship between a couple to a relationship between husband and wife. Impulsive psychological mechanisms that facilitate decision-making. And people's impulsiveness, personal behavior, is controlled by dopamine.

The peak of dopamine concentrations in people can last from 6 months to 4 years. When dopamine decreases, or subsides, the ability to impulse for love fades.

This is why some people will love and love, and then feel tired, if they don't love. We all know that if you don't want to go into a burnout period because you have been in a relationship for too long, you must manipulate the timing of your marriage and maintain the charm of dopamine for a long time. Generally speaking, the length of time both parties have been in a relationship is one to three years.

Less than 1 year, the mutual grasp is insufficient, the run-in period is insufficient, and it is easy to have disagreements when entering the marriage. For more than 3 years, dopamine is entering a period of decline, and the emotional attention between each other is decreasing, and it is very likely that it will crack in the oil, salt, sauce and vinegar after marriage.

In addition, to maintain a sense of freshness, it is necessary that lovers can ensure that each other can develop during the love process. You need to constantly improve yourself in order to continue to create a sense of mystery. The new highlights of everyone's body can make each other want to explore and inspire each other to pursue and.

At the same time, you can also improve your self-confidence, so that you can be sure that we are all the perfect lovers in the hearts of the other party. In this way, when both parties are looking forward to their future life, they can hope to stabilize the marital relationship through the method of married life.

Because the two of us have no freshness, no urge to get married, no desire to get married.

It may be that you have not gone to each other's hearts, or it may be that you have lost your feelings for each other for too long.

Many people have been in love for many years, but they can't be together because of practical reasons. Such feelings are the most regrettable. There are many factors that go into getting married.

It's just that you haven't learned to communicate, and if you learn to communicate well, the issue of bride price will not lead to unhappiness and disintegration. Or it can be understood that they don't know each other very well in the first place.

Regarding the bride price, it seems that the man cannot come up with the money; But in fact, it is far more than just a question of money, it is also a question of communication patterns, trust, problem-solving skills, and whether the two families agree with each other.

Let's start with the posture of the communication mode. When the two sides discussed the bride price, they did not communicate in line with the search for a solution, but both stood in their respective positions, trying to persuade each other and let the other party satisfy themselves, which led to their failure to see the original intention of the two families clearly, and regarded the objective difficulties as the other party's deliberate embarrassment, which led to a crisis of trust between the two.

But in fact, even if there is no bride price, maybe the level of trust between the two is not strong enough, because when they are involved in the issue of interests, they think of "you" and "me", not us, and do not regard each other as their own family. It can be said that their crisis of confidence has always been latent. Let's talk about the problem-solving skills of two people.

After analyzing their situation, I found that although they have been together for five years, their relationship has been going smoothly without any major setbacks. But it may be because they are living too smoothly that they lack communication skills, coordination skills and emotional management skills to change each other, which leads to their lack of problem-solving ability, and the bride price has naturally become a hurdle before their marriage. Finally, I would like to turn to the issue of two families.

There is no doubt that there is a big gap between the original families of the two, one is a phoenix man in the countryside, and the other is an only daughter in the city, and the families of the two are not only poor in terms of economic level, but also in terms of ideology, family model and way of doing things. Looking at it separately, there is nothing wrong with Xiaojing's parents wanting to give their daughter a guarantee, and her boyfriend's parents have worked hard all their lives and can't come up with money, which is also worth forgiving, but it will be very difficult for such two families to achieve mutual recognition.

What do you think about couples who have been dating for many years still not going to the palace of marriage in the end? It's not a simple question, it's a complex thing. Everyone and each person have different growth experiences, different living environments, and there are differences in thoughts, ideals, beliefs, and pursuits.

It's not just a question of whose fault it is. Even if you don't look at it in the order of appearance, ask yourself in your heart what are the chances of succeeding together. Any little gap can become a dead hole in feelings, as far as people are concerned, they can't resist the cruelty of reality, sometimes emotions are not whimsical, and they must be based on reality.

For example, a pair of lovers who cherished each other when they were students loved each other in their hearts, how pure, deep, and passionate they loved, and they belonged to each other. But once you face the intersection of life and want to choose the path of life, you will also weigh the importance of feelings in your heart, or the importance of the career that you have finally pursued. I can't help but tilt the scales, which side is it?

Most of them choose careers, especially those who go out from rural areas.

Love is too weak compared to career. But none of them are generalized, and there are those who take love very seriously. Later, the dominant party may let go first, or both parties may choose to let go at the same time, and one may choose to leave and distance from the consideration of the other party's future in order to achieve it.

And what about the other? No matter how true your feelings for each other are, you have to face the future that you have been pursuing with great difficulty, and you will choose the future and give up the so-called true love. In this way, the two people did not come together in the end, and they all let go at the same time silently, which is an old song "Wordless Ending".

This is probably the best choice! Who would blame anyone in such a first love? As the years go by, the best memories may be left in each other's hearts, right?

So I think the end of a relationship is not that simple. The beginning of a relationship is not so complicated. Even if you break up, you don't have to ask who is at fault, and objectively examine your feelings, including your first love.

Everyone has been young, first love is like an apple, and when it is green, it is equivalent to first love, beautiful but young. When it's ripe, it feels so sweet and can withstand the aftertaste. Thinking about how short life is, having a relationship when you are young and not knowing how to love is the precious wealth of life, and the more you precipitate over the years, the more precious it is.

Even if he didn't enter into marriage, that emotion was as pure as white snow without any flaws, and there was no worldly dregs in it. If you love, you will love, if you are divided, you will be divided, there is fate and no part, not all love will have a happy ending. As long as you have truly loved each other, why bother asking about right and wrong.

The years go by, and when you look back, the first love is the most beautiful.

Because the two of you are spiritually clinging to each other, it does not mean that the two of you have enough economic strength to support the family, life is firewood, rice, oil and salt, if you can't even take out the money to live at least, then you will definitely not be able to enter the palace of marriage.

I think this is a very normal thing, because there are many people who don't take their relationship seriously, they will only have a playful mentality, and they will also do some things that make the other person very sad, so when we are in love, we must pay attention to this aspect of the problem.

In today's society, many couples have been together for many years, and finally break up, for many reasons, the most important of which is because of not enough love, because love can defeat everything.

Because they may feel that the personalities of the two people are different after getting along, they are not suitable for marriage, and they have been dating for many years, and the two people have understood each other and become a family relationship.

You have been in love with each other for four years and finally entered the palace of marriage, which is a fortunate thing, because it is very difficult for two people to go to the end together, and the two of you can enter the palace of marriage, which means that the other party cares about you very much, and you also care about each other, this kind of love is very easy to manage, but after getting married, you must know how to manage your own love, only in this way can love become long-lasting.

After many people get married, their conflicts will become more and more, because before the two people did not live together, after the marriage, the two people have to live together, problems between each other will appear, and there will be a lot of quarrels, so we should know how to tolerate each other.

When there is a conflict, we must take a step back, especially men, we must know how to tolerate their wives, women will sometimes be unreasonable, if you keep holding on to women's shortcomings, then your contradictions will be magnified. Your quarrels will increase, and your marriage will not last long.

Women will become very sensitive in a marriage, men must know how to be considerate of their wives, if your wife becomes very sensitive, it means that she is insecure, at this time you should give the other party enough security, you must get home in time after work, don't mess with flowers and grass outside, and let women know that you also love her very much. Only if a woman has enough security, she will be desperate to manage a marriage with you, if you don't have a bad banquet to give a woman enough security, women will become more sensitive, which is not conducive to the management of your marriage.

You have been in love for four years before entering the palace of marriage, which means that you have overcome a lot of problems, if there are problems after marriage, you must also solve them in time, do not put the problem backlog over there, and wait for one day the problem breaks out, that is, the day your marriage breaks down, so the problem must be solved in time.

Personally, I think that if Lu finally enters the palace of marriage, then he should consider the problem from the other party's perspective in the future life and care more about the other party.

Two people need to manage this relationship well, and they should think that this relationship is hard-won, so they must understand each other more.

In marriage, we must respect each other, we should tolerate each other, we must pay attention to the sense of ritual in marriage, create some romance and surprises for each other, we must compare our hearts with each other, and don't worry about each other because of some small things.

The first is that a crush is not love, a crush is just a feeling. Many people's crush is just a very beautiful relationship idealized in their hearts. So there are many people who don't want to express their crush at all.

The second love may not be love. Men and women get along with each other because of their affection. It may lead to love, it may just be a prelude to a relationship.

After falling in love for about half a year, it should be that the emotion can be sublimated to the point of marriage. For the vast majority of people, the purpose of love is to stay together, that is, to get married. If it weren't for such a purpose, it would be difficult for strange men and women to maintain only by emotional attraction without any substantive communication in life.

Because this is a cruelty to the lives of both people.

Being in love for too long and not entering into marriage is actually irresponsible to yourself and others.

I used to have a crush on someone for a long time. If it weren't for the fact that he didn't show up for a long time, I was worried that he would have something to shout lead, and I wouldn't have confessed. But he's in a different place.

If there is one thing to talk about getting married, it is that he is going to give up his job and his family and come to my city and start over with nothing.

In fact, I started too, full of longing and dreams. Long-distance relationships only see each other every two or even every three months. And his body is not particularly good.

Sometimes it's windy and snowy, and he has to come over, just to get a look at me and hug me early. Don't think that a long-distance relationship is very romantic, once his ** I suddenly couldn't get through, I was about to die, I was worried that there was a problem on the road. Another time he told me that a car accident had happened in front of his eyes.

So every time he came, I was overjoyed, but I was filled with infinite worries.

If it weren't for love, he could actually sit at home and watch TV with his parents in the harsh winter, and he could recuperate without coughing for a long time, and not having frequent stomach pain.

If he gets married in my city, it means that he works alone in this city, and he has to go back to his parents every month to visit them. I suddenly felt the cruelty and misery of life. I don't think I can help him a lot of the time.

For example, he was sick in his city, and he could only send me **, but I couldn't fly over the thousands of anxious hearts in my heart. At that time, I suddenly felt so ethereal. If he had someone around him who could take care of him like me, I'd rather not have this long-distance relationship.

Giving up is something I brought up. Every time I say too far, I can't help but cry. Although he kept calling me a fool. I said I'm not stupid. I just can't see you wandering.

But I never asked about his private life. Because I once told him that I don't have to tell me when I'm married, just like I don't have to tell you when I'm married. I just want us all to live.

Sometimes love can't be selfish, you can't love to the point of sacrificing other people's bodies and lives. I still think this decision was the right one. Maybe we will meet one day in the future, and we will say why we were so stupid back then, and we will be separated if we say yes.

But there are some separations, which are unable to endure the suffering of the loved one, but are powerless.

I hope you enjoy my story. Don't write your story.