Parents often quarrel, why don t they admit that they hurt their children?

Because in their education, they think it doesn't matter, and they always treat you like a child, that you haven't grown up, that these things have nothing to do with you, and they don't care about your feelings. And quarreling is a moment when it is easy to lose your mind, and when you are angry, do you still expect to be reasonable?

They may be that kind of character, they can't control it, in their eyes, after all, they are noisy and don't divorce, it won't cause harm to the children, this is their cognitive problem, and it is estimated that it can't be changed.

Parents often quarrel and have a certain harm to the growth of children, but the parents' generation is more than old, but they are noisy and scolded, no way, no one wants to do this, but the parents' generation is more or less an emotionless marriage, understand.

Because they always feel that it is their business and has nothing to do with their children, but the quarrels of parents do have a great impact on children.

Because they don't realize it and ignore the impact of the quarrel on the family environment, on the emotions of others. Talk to them about how you're feeling.

It is recommended that you communicate well with your parents, or when your parents quarrel again, you should try to avoid it and not be influenced by them.

It's because they're too angry, and when they get better, they're trying to persuade her.

Because they feel that they are coming this way, and if it is their turn not to do it, they will subconsciously feel that it is unfair.

Because they have no face, so that they can't quarrel later.

Because I really don't want to admit it. You can find a way to communicate with them. If you can't call 12345 for psychological counseling**.

Because they think it's an adult's business, and children don't understand that much.

Maybe your parents think it's just him arguing and it doesn't affect you.

Even if you admit it, what can you do, divorce, or stop arguing, I don't think it will.

It is very common for parents to quarrel in front of their children, whether in film and television dramas or in real life. Parents often quarrel in front of their children, which will indeed cause a lot of psychological effects on children, some of which are directly visible to the naked eye, some of which are gradually revealed after the child becomes an adult, and some of the influences may be followed by the child throughout his life and become a shadow that the child cannot get rid of for a lifetime.

1. The child's sense of well-being is missing.

Often witnessing parents quarrelling, there will be a feeling of family unhappiness in the child's psychology, feeling that his parents are not loving enough, and he will feel that his family is broken, and his parents will often quarrel and quarrel because of trivial things, and even fight, the child will be afraid of the separation of father and mother, and the heart will be very afraid of insecurity, and the sense of happiness will naturally be missing.

2. Character flaws are unavoidable.

Parents in front of the child two of them to fight, sometimes the more noisy the talk, the more fierce they are, they can't control themselves for a while, and they may even fight, showing the ugly side of human nature directly in front of the child, so it is easy to make the child anxious, affected by the original family environment, the child's temper and personality will also be greatly affected, the child will also become explosive and irritable, will not be considerate of others, and even has a certain tendency to violence.

3. The heart is full of fear of marriage.

Often facing parents quarreling and even throwing things, tearing each other apart, children see in their eyes, they will slowly be full of fear of their future marriage, will be afraid that their other half will be like this in the future, the story of parents will be repeated in themselves again, the heart will be full of fear of marriage, will be unwilling to find a partner, and even unwilling to turn out, which is also a major reason for some fear of marriage.

Fourth, it will affect the future of work and parenting.

Children who grow up in this environment will be covered with thorns, they will use thorns to protect themselves, it will be difficult to get along with them and not be united, it is easy to distrust others in work and life, and it will be very detrimental to work. Especially if you have children in the future, it will have a great impact on educating your children, and even affect the next generation.

Parents as the first teacher of children, in all aspects of the child will have a subtle influence, whether it is good or bad, words and deeds will affect their children, therefore, in front of the child parents must pay attention to their words and deeds, control their emotions, to create a warm and beautiful growth environment for children, not every day is shocking!

Children's sensitivity is far beyond our adult imagination, don't think that children don't understand anything, in fact, children understand everything through observation, and the ability to imitate is also very strong. In short, as parents, we must manage our emotions, control our words and deeds, and not cause bad influence to our children.

Parents often quarrel, it will definitely have a certain impact on the child, the child may affect the grades because of the disharmony of the family, and he will feel that people are very difficult to get along with, and the child is not particularly good, so try not to quarrel in front of the child.

1.Causes character defects.

It is difficult for children to understand the real reason for their parents' quarrels. In children's limited cognition, they often think that they are the source of their parents' quarrels. Especially sometimes, when there is a conflict between husband and wife, they use their children as the object of venting.

This will bring psychological shadows to the child, and the child will feel that it is all his own fault, and over time, he will not dare to communicate with others, and in interpersonal communication, he will be unsociable.

2.The formation of the child's rebellious mentality.

Parents often quarrel in front of their children, which will invisibly cause children to rebel, because children are more malleable, and it is very easy for their personalities to become irritable and rebellious after being stupid and round. Frequent quarrels in front of children also have another hazard that affects children's grades, and poor concentration in learning, because from the perspective of big data, children with poor academic performance have a certain relationship with the family environment.

3.The child is insecure.

Parents are the closest carriers of their children, and children do not allow anyone to abuse their parents and speak ill of their parents. In the hearts of children, parents are their full defense files or departments.

But if the parents quarrel for a long time, it will make the child insecure, and the child's only reliance is on the parents, but the parents always quarrel and fight. In a quarrel, it is inevitable to say some radical words, these words, on the surface, may have no impact on the child, but in fact, these words have a great impact on the child.

4.Influence the concept of marriage.

Studies have found that children who often see their parents arguing will be disgusted with marriage or disappointed in marriage, and of course they may also quarrel with their partners and "imitate" their parents' behavior. Parents will inevitably become obsessed.

1. Personality flaws. If the home is like a battlefield, parents will often break out in front of their children into fierce quarrels, even abuse, fights, children growing up in such a family have low self-esteem, some sensitive, some are irritable, in short, will make the child's character flawed.

2. Influence the concept of love and marriage. People who have witnessed and experienced long-term quarrels with their parents will lose confidence in love and marriage, find it difficult to develop a sense of dependence on other people, and even distort their view of love. Because of the fear of quarrels, the fear of a quarrel is as hysterical as a shrew, so it will be very patient, even if it is quick to drive yourself crazy, never say a word; I am afraid that after getting married, I will also live this life of arguing every day, so I resist this pattern of life.

3. Self-loathing and lack of self-confidence. Some parents will say every day that I am not divorced for you (the child), but I don't know how much harm such words will cause to a child, he will think that your quarrels are all because of him, and always think that he is a wrong existence. Most parents who are prone to quarrels also lack tolerance and patience for their children, and some will even use their children as a punching bag, beating and scolding and belittling at will, which will not only cause children to lack self-confidence and optimism, but also produce a sense of self-loathing.

4. Subconscious repetition of imitation. The irritable emotions that parents show in front of their children, or even big fights, will be imitated by children. The original family is subtly shaping the child's personality and influencing his behavior, and subconsciously learning to be emotionally uncontrollable and quarrel with others.

Even if I think about it all the time, I will never become that kind of person, but before I know it, I have learned to get along with my parents.

5. Causing tearing pain in the child's heart. Some couples don't quarrel with Lu Zhengjiao, and like to solve problems by fighting a cold war and dealing with it indifferently. However, this cold family atmosphere is even more lethal to children.

Children are very sensitive, parents do not talk to each other, children are actually afraid. Some children will get attention and love by getting into trouble, and they will keep getting into trouble. There are also children who get sick or injured just to let their parents come to see them.

1. Destroy the child's sense of security.

Every child has a sense of security in their hearts, and this sense of security is in the parents. Parents are the closest people to children, parents are children's role models, parents are teachers of children's growth cradle, and parents' words and deeds are of great significance to children.

Parents may have disagreements on some trivial matters and the way to deal with problems, which will lead to fierce quarrels, some parents in the process of quarreling, both sides are more emotional, the tone of speech is more impulsive, may say some ugly swear words, cruel words, if the child is present, and also hear the content of the parent's quarrel, let the child see the hideous side of the parent, for a while let the child difficult to accept the other side of the parent, the child will feel scared and fearful, will destroy the child's heart to establish a sense of security, Leave a lingering shadow deep inside.

2. Cause defects in the child's character.

According to the survey report of "Children's Happiness in the Family", children living in a warm and harmonious family have a cheerful, helpful personality and excellent grades, while children who live in quarrels and violent families all year round are easy to form a lonely and introverted character, low self-esteem, cowardice, and may become a "problem teenager" and "problem girl" in the eyes of others, etc., so parents quarrel in front of their children, which will cause defects in the child's character to a certain extent and affect the healthy and happy growth of the child.

3. Social phobia.

Parents quarrel in front of their children, parents can't even control their emotions and violent behavior, children see in their eyes, they will remember in their hearts, and even leave a deep imprint in their children's hearts, and they will begin to reject the children who play around them, and the children will become cautious when they grow up and have an object, and they are afraid that the scene of their parents' quarrels will be staged again, and they will always be hostile to some of the behaviors of the other half, and it is difficult to get along normally and peacefully.

For example, the child does not have a normal place to live, does not have a good rest, studies well, or works and other spring troubles, etc., so parents should not quarrel for the sake of their children.

Parental quarrels hurt children the most. The impact of parental quarrels on children's mental health is mainly manifested in the following aspects.

1.Character flaws. As long as we pay close attention to the families around us, we will find that some children have low self-esteem, sensitivity or timidity, and some children show irritability, irritability, and violent tendencies, and the parents of these children will not have a good temper.

Because children usually see their parents often angry and fists and kicks, children learn not to take the initiative to control their emotions when encountering problems, but directly use violence to solve the problem, if the child is not very strong in heart, he can only choose to use escape and show weakness to solve the problem.

2.Full of reverence and pessimism about life. If the family often quarrels in front of the child, or expresses hatred and resentment, it is bound to convey negative energy and accumulate in the child's heart, and over time, it will also make the child have a negative view of the outside world, and even be pessimistic about his future life, and have bad behaviors such as school boredom and skipping class.

3.Lack of self-confidence. If the child has been growing up in an environment of quarrels and scolding, he will have an inferiority complex. In the same way, if parents are often harshly criticized by their superiors in the workplace where they work, then they will be cautious and timid in the follow-up work for fear of making mistakes again.

If a child always sees his parents arguing and doesn't even want to go home, how can he become attached to family affection? Some parents blame their children for being too indifferent to their families of origin, but the responsibility lies with the parents themselves.

5.Social phobia. If you can't adapt well to the family environment, it will be even more difficult to adapt to the social environment.

Social communication is to start from the family, how to feel the joys, sorrows and sorrows of others, and how Zheng Lu to communicate with others appropriately, all start with family communication to lay the foundation. Parents often quarrel and fail to give their children a safe home environment, resulting in a lack of social skills in children, resulting in social phobia.