About the mean VS direct

Friends, you must know that from the perspective of your two personalities, you are actually a good match, if both of them have mediocre personalities, or both are strong, then it is difficult to integrate.

I don't think the problem you're facing right now is not your personality, it's because everyone has a specific purpose, or because of your different values or something like that.

Or you are both trying to change each other, you must know that two people get married and become a family, then they are still two people, there will be differences, misunderstandings, and of course there will be differences in personality, but you have to be clear to each other that you are people who love each other and accompany each other through life.

You can't try to change each other anything, he is the character of the mean, which may have a strong and soothing effect on your usual situation, and you are the strong, which has a radical effect on his usual moderation.

If you think you're going to take out each other's personalities, it's hard to blend together.

As for the other party's parents, I hope you can understand them, as children should be more considerate of their parents, try to follow the will of their parents, so that they will feel better, and they will be afraid of some grievances, and the same is true for your own parents, they are not easy, they are pulling you up, it is very hard, and you must try to meet any wishes. Like you, I have a strong personality, but slowly I understand a lot of things, especially when it comes to my parents. Please respect the opinions of the elderly and do not quarrel with them.

Read more books like Chicken Soup for the Soul.

You will find it easy to have a normal heart.

Moderation is the road of life, the fundamental theory of career success, life and health, which basically contains three meanings:

The first layer of meaning: it is not easy to be impartial and mediocre. It refers to not deviating from life and not changing one's goals and opinions. That's a consistent recipe for success. Confucius said: "The golden mean is virtue, and it is the best!" The people have been around for a long time. ”

The second meaning: refers to neutrality and peace. People need to maintain neutrality and peace, if you lose neutrality, peace must be too much joy, anger, sorrow, and happiness, only happiness is the cure of anger, and the cure of joy is not too polite, and the way to keep etiquette lies in respect.

Therefore, the people of Crescent Mountain said: As long as you maintain a heart of respect or awe, righteousness and peace will last forever, and people's health will be guaranteed.

The third meaning: the meaning of the middle refers to the good, and the same use, that is, the meaning of the middle use. It means that people should have a skill and be a useful talent; It also means that people should stick to their posts and seek their positions in their positions. Quoted from the Crescent Mountain people's "Chinese Heart Law".

The grasp of the mean: balance in motion, and emphasis in stillness. Do not hesitate to do two poles, and the hook is just right. Not dead, not unscrupulous, not evil and not righteous. The name of the strong, the form of the strong, is self-speculation. The people of the world are persuaded to be good, and they take more righteousness, but if the Tao is a thing, it is in a trance.

Satisfied, thank you.

Not left, not right. Not up or down. Not outstanding and not lagging behind. Not radical or conservative. It is not only a philosophical thought, but also a way of life.

Do not be extreme, take the middle in everything.

The golden mean is actually the essence of science, and it is the most useful. When a person has mastered modern science and then carefully reads "The Mean", or Liang Pao may help to become a more useful person.

Part of the reading: The predicate of the Mandate of Heaven is sexuality, the predicate of recklessness is the Tao, and the predicate of cultivation is teaching. Those who are in the Tao must not be separated from it, but they can be separated, and they are not Taoists. Therefore, a gentleman is cautious of what he does not see, and fearful of what he does not hear. Don't see it, don't show it, so the gentleman is cautious.

Joy, anger, sorrow and happiness are not in the middle of the statement, and the middle section is the sum of the middle. Those who are in the middle are also the great capital of the world; Those who are harmonious are also the way of the world. To neutralize, heaven is in the ascendancy, and all things are nurtured.

The laws of nature are the original properties of things. Recklessly, acting in accordance with the laws of nature, it is in line with the Tao; Learning to master the laws of nature is also education.

Renting manuscripts is done in accordance with the laws of nature, and it cannot be deviated from every second, and if it can be deviated from, of course, it cannot be talked about the laws of nature. Invisible because hidden; Not obvious, because subtle. Therefore, the search for patterns requires careful pursuit and unique insights.

Joy and sorrow are the emotions of people's scumbags and filial piety, and if there is no exposure, it is called in the middle, and it is revealed, and it is in line with common feelings, and it is called harmony. Harmony is the origin, and harmony is the phenomenon manifested by the law. To achieve the unity of origin and phenomenon, just as heaven and earth are right, all things grow.

"The Mean" is inferred to be derived from the Book of Shang, and was praised by Confucius to win. Song scholars extracted the thirty-one articles of the Book of Rites written by Zisi as the "Zhongyong", and then the "Zhongyong" was combined with the "University", "Analects" and "Mencius" into the "Four Books". After the Song and Yuan dynasties, it became the official textbook of schools and the compulsory reading of the imperial examination, which had a great impact on ancient Chinese education and society.

In the impression, there are always people who use the word "moderation" to criticize the Chinese for not being assertive and innovative. Until I heard the sixth and twenty-ninth chapters of the Yongye chapter, Zi said: "The golden mean is virtue, and it is the best!"

The golden mean was praised by Confucius as the highest moral standard, and even he felt that he had not yet reached the state of the mean. Then the "golden mean" is obviously not the "wall grass", "mud" and "not enterprising" that those people understand.

What is moderation?

Confucius thought that the mean was "polite and polite", "again, sloppy", "too much", ......What is particular about the "degree" is "no fault". I am afraid that the reason is that things must be reversed.

The interpretation of "neutralization" in "The Mean" is just the opposite of the misunderstood "lack of opinion". "Joy, anger, sorrow and joy have not yet occurred, and they are in the middle; "It means not to act intuitively, but to make judgments after thinking and analyzing." That is, instead of using System 1 to make intuitive judgments at the beginning, System 2 is used for active analysis.

In life, "following the crowd" and "long live passing", these views and behaviors that can be passed by with the brain, are obviously not the "golden mean".

Doing things as a person", "relaxation" is the "golden mean". Do things and abide by responsibilities, do not shirk or cross the line. Doing things can be work, it can be educating children, it can be honoring elders, it can be helping friends.

Be a person, stick to principles, neither humble nor arrogant. A person can be a subordinate, a parent, a child, a relative and a friend.

Speaking of the article "The Mean", its name is very loud, in the Four Books and Five Classics, it occupies a place, and it is of great significance, it is not difficult to understand!

"Medium" is impartial, and "Yong" can be interpreted as use! The combination is not to shoot and grind impartially, in the most simple words: "This thing is done appropriately, not badly"!

But there is an explanation called "compromise", but there is nothing wrong with it, people's compromise is a compromise in the sense rather than a compromise in quantity, but some people understand it as a steamed bun divided into two halves, which is really sad!

The idea of "The Mean" is very similar to the meaning of the Confucian word "Yi", that is, to achieve a harmonious and effective result as much as possible, simply put, two words: "appropriate".

For example, an ordinary man and an ordinary woman go to the mountains to compete to move stones, and there are the same number of people, whoever moves will win, and the one who loses will have nothing to eat! You say it must be half a person, but is it fair? How surely some people are overwhelmed by Yan Kuan!

This kind of deuce is not called fairness, and it is not the meaning of "The Mean", this kind of behavior is like letting men and women compete to give birth to rough and bright children, and it is useless for men to fight their lives, because your conditions are not sufficient!

The idea of moderation is a way of thinking that combines all factors to achieve the best effect, and it is a manifestation of considering the problem holistically, which can also be said to be a manifestation of seeking truth from facts!

The essence of the idea of "The Mean" lies in the flexibility to adapt measures to local conditions, just like Confucius said to teach students according to their aptitude, that kind of education method is the perfect expression of the idea of "The Mean"!

Like the kind of pig head that is rigid to the point that no matter what the situation, half of you and half of me don't match the idea of moderation at all, just like the exaggerated wind in China back then, all starved and dying are dying, and they still want to save face and suffer from the bragging skin, in fact, they don't think about it, where should the word "in" fall!

For example, like the insistent on the "two whatevers" back then, we can all know the harm of making decisions without considering reality from history textbooks and word of mouth! Only by understanding change can we understand "The Mean", and people who do not look at the changes in conditions will never be able to do the correct practice of the idea of the mean!

The idea of moderation seems simple, but there are very few people who can do it, and it requires a lot of ability to back it up! First, we need to understand the laws of reason; Second, we need to understand social conditions; Third, you need to control your selfish desires!

Without any of these three points, you will not be able to achieve the ultimate practice of the idea of moderation. The word "medium" says it all, impartiality is something that the laity cannot do, but can only try to do better.

Moreover, people with a right heart do not understand the laws of reason, even if they understand the logic of the development of things, if they do not understand the complex human heart, they will leave unbalanced factors. Therefore, the idea of the golden mean is not as simple as it seems to be practiced perfectly, Confucianism put forward this concept in order to give people a direction to deal with things, and it is useful to do a little, but you must not understand it!

The result of harmony is what everyone yearns for, and it is also the ultimate wish expressed in "The Mean", so "The Mean" is concise but not simple wisdom, and the short space is worth having!

Regarding the "mean", Cheng Gu said: "Not being biased is called the middle, and not changing is not called the mean", which is the right way in the world, and the mediocrity is the theorem of the world. "Moderation is the highest moral standard of Confucianism.

Zhongyong takes "sincerity" and "zhong" as the basic concepts, and describes the metaphysical philosophical view of "the unity of heaven and man". Therefore, the golden mean, in order to cultivate oneself and govern others, the inner saint and the outer king. As for "self-cultivation, Qi family, governing the country, peaceful heaven and auspiciousness, and harmony" is the purpose of the mean.

"Sincerity" is the basis of the mean, and the coordination of "neutrality" and "sincerity" is the beautiful realm that a gentleman desires.

If you understand the golden mean, you can treat everything with a normal heart, you will not be blindly pessimistic, nor will you be blindly optimistic, and you will be able to live a life from the real ordinary.

The Mean has been learned, and I have two experiences of the golden mean:

1. Be strict with yourself.

The mean is a state of cultivation for the first people. Human cultivation is not an overnight achievement. The golden mean believes that people's cultivation is important in persistence, in strict discipline and self-counting, and always and everywhere must conform to the way of neutrality and neutrality.

2. Be sincere and sincere to others.

The key to moderation lies in "sincerity". "The Mean" believes that the reason why the sky is the sky is because Tianzhuang Mu is always the embodiment of sincerity and purity. A gentleman should walk in accordance with the way of heaven.

From tomorrow onwards, learn a famous sentence from "The Mean" every day.