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When you are old, you are reluctant to help your children take care of their grandchildren. I don't know if you have found a phenomenon, that is, after many young people get married and have children, they will take their parents over to take care of their children, they go to work as usual every day, and they don't want to take their children when they come back from work, some parents will even cook their meals in addition to taking care of their children, but all this is taken for granted in the eyes of children. Are you willing to help your children and grandchildren when you are old?
1. I won't help my children take care of their grandchildren.
I don't know what kind of choice people will make when facing this problem, maybe different people have different opinions, but personally, when I am old, I will never let my children take grandchildren. I'm a public official, I can retire after the age of 60, and when I was young, I didn't even leave my city for work, and when I was old, wouldn't it be good to go out with my wife for a trip? Why take children at home?
Second, it is not our responsibility to help them with their children.
It's not that I can help the children completely, and if my conditions allow, I can occasionally help them take care of the children, but I can't stand the attitude that I take it for granted to let parents take the children. It is true that the next generation is very close, and we must also like it very much when we see our little grandchildren, but it is not our responsibility to help them take care of their children, because we are only the grandparents of the children, not their fathers, and the mother takes the child to raise the child is what the father and mother should do, and we can only play an auxiliary role. If the child is really busy, it is not impossible to let us help with it occasionally, but it is absolutely not impossible to take the child completely on yourself, which should be made clear in advance.
3. It is not easy to raise a child.
I think that children who feel that their parents should help with their grandchildren are not qualified parents themselves. When you were young, you didn't know how hard it was to raise children, but now that you are a parent, you know how difficult it is to raise a child, it is not easy for us to raise you, and now you have to raise your children again, when is this the head? Children and grandchildren have their own children and grandchildren, and when their children marry wives and have children, our lives are completely independent, they have their lives, we have our lives, we help each other, but there is absolutely no interference with each other.
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Some time ago, a topic about "whether to help bring a baby when you are old" has aroused heated discussions among netizens on the Internet, and it has always been an eternal problem for the elderly to help their children take care of the baby.
Some netizens believe that the elderly with babies are the needs of life.
Today's stressful life, coupled with the burden of raising children, makes both husband and wife have to go out to work at the same time in order to ensure the family's expenses. And the elderly with the baby happens to be the premise for the husband and wife to go out to work at the same time.
But if only one member of the family goes out to work, the economic conditions of the family are a very direct problem, and if some things happen to the parents in the future, it is simply "asking for money without money, and asking for no one".
Another part of netizens thinks: The elderly take the baby to pay, and only by paying can there be a return.
The elderly help to take care of the children, so that when the elderly have problems in the future, the children are not easy to shirk, after all, people who are a little grateful will repay their parents' previous efforts.
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Are you old enough to help your children take care of your grandchildren?Why? If I am old, my son and daughter-in-law go to work, I will help take care of my grandchildren.
As for why?
First: Help bring grandchildren to ease their burden.
Nowadays, young people are under a lot of pressure to go to work, and as parents, they are retired at home, and there is nothing to do, so helping their children and grandchildren cook can reduce some of their burden. In addition, young people have no experience in taking care of children, and it is a natural responsibility and obligation to help children as parents, so that when we need to take care of us when we are old, they will be willing to have no complaints, otherwise they have to go to live in a nursing home.
Second: It's not safe to spend money on someone to bring grandchildren.
Some elderly people can't help their children take care of their grandchildren for some reasons, and they have no choice but to hire someone to watch them, and now the monthly cost of hiring someone to watch the children is at least.
Three or four thousand dollars. Moreover, hiring someone to look after the children is not as careful as the grandparents and grandparents, and hiring someone to watch the children will also have certain risks. Many employers find that their children have been beaten and choked, and they do not pay attention to hygiene when feeding their children.
Third: Parents are role models for their children to pass on.
Parents helping their children take care of their grandchildren is also a virtue that our ancestors have left behind, and I remember my little friends when I was a child, they all grew up under the care of my grandparents. My grandparents died early, I didn't see them, at that time I was very envious of my friends, they always had grandparents to protect them when they made mistakes, and when I made mistakes, I always thought how nice it would be if I also had grandparents! It will also protect me.
Fourth: Family harmony is the greatest happiness.
Now most of the elderly are helping children to take care of their grandchildren, and there is a retired female colleague in our unit, who helps children bring a pair of twin grandchildren, and she and her own mother help to see that they are contributing money and effort, even if they are tired, they are willing. They feel that they can let their sons and daughters-in-law work with peace of mind, not only for their own small family, but also for the society.
Conclusion: There is only one life in life, parents must think more about their children, so that they can enjoy the warmth of the family after work is also the greatest happiness of parents.
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There is no unified answer to the question of whether or not to help children with grandchildren, which shows that each family has its own situation.
So, you should look at this thing that way.
1. It is a good thing that the elderly are willing to take care of their children, which shows that they are willing to pay for your small family, first of all, we have to be grateful to them. If you don't want to bring it, that's also their right, after all, it's not easy for them to work hard to raise you for most of their lives, and they should also enjoy their lives.
2. I feel that it is your obligation and responsibility as a mother to take care of children. Whether it is from the perspective of the child's psychological growth, personality and other aspects or the harmony of your small family, it is better to be raised by the parents themselves. First of all, the child is really the focus of the conflict between the two generations, and then you left him to the old man when you were a child, and when he grows up, you want to discipline him, then he is likely to hate you.
Because you didn't raise him personally, you didn't have the capital to discipline him.
3. Many people will say that I can't bring it myself. I want to say that you are not mentally and financially ready, so please don't raise children. This is doubly irresponsible to yourself and your children.
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If the elderly are not very old and in good health, it is of course very suitable to come and help take care of their grandchildren. If the old man is not busy, and the grandchildren's parents are very busy, and the old man refuses to help, it seems a bit unreasonable. If you don't help your children when they're in the most difficult time, and you will have to support your children when you're old in the future, I'm afraid your daughter-in-law will also complain.
If the old man is old or in poor health, it is forgivable not to help take care of his grandchildren, and I think my son and daughter-in-law can also understand. In order to reduce some pressure on their sons and daughters-in-law, most of the elderly will choose to help take care of their grandchildren, and some elderly people will even take out their pension money from time to time to supplement some as a family.
Many old people in their old age, their children have their own small families, the old people have also retired, the old people every day in addition to talking to their wives, life has become lonely, especially for those who have passed away, which makes the elderly feel very lonely. When the children offer to help bring their grandchildren, the elderly are also very willing, after all, children are lively and active, and after having something to do, the life of the elderly returns to the original liveliness.
The elderly do not have to serve their children all their lives, and they should not really "do their best and die" for their children. After working all his life, the old man should also live his own small life. If the conditions are good, you can go out to travel, walk around, and see the beautiful scenery of the world.
If the conditions are average, you can choose one or two hobbies to cultivate more, and then make more like-minded friends and have fun together, which is also a kind of life enjoyment.
The elderly should understand that at every critical moment in life, let their children take responsibility and responsibility for the family, feel the joy and confusion of raising children, so that they can truly become a person of sound mind, a person who understands and respects their parents, and a person who can take the road to success wider and wider. When you are old, you have to bring grandchildren to your children, this is an old idea. The modern era has changed, and the concepts of middle-aged and elderly friends can also be changed.
Let go when it's time to let go, and don't overstep your authority if your children do it themselves.
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I don't want to, to be honest, because I'm tired and upset, it's okay to bring it once in a while.
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Personally, I think that if I am old, then I must be willing to help my children take care of their grandchildren. Because bringing your own grandchildren is a pleasure to enjoy. Therefore, everyone's thoughts are different, and it is still necessary to judge according to the actual situation.
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Today's young people have a lot of work pressure and life is not easy. When I was older, I was willing to do my best to help them with their children and household chores. But I also hope that they can understand that it is not easy for their parents, and that they themselves have the responsibility to raise their children, and they cannot rely on their parents entirely.
The elderly and the young should still keep a certain distance and not interfere in their lives. But older people also have to have their own lives.
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In order to reduce the burden on your children, do your best to help, so that your children can go to work with peace of mind, although it is more difficult to take care of children as an older generation, it is better than inviting an outsider to help.
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When we are old, we are willing to help our children take care of our grandchildren, and my wife and I have more time to take care of our grandchildren and do housework after retirement, which can reduce the burden on our children and allow them to do a good job with peace of mind.
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Now life is stressful, the young couple has just been married for a few years, with children, they need someone to take care of the children alone, it is really difficult to make money alone, if I am old, I can still depend on the situation, if there is time, I can help with the children, so that the children can also relax, but also have the heart to work hard, when there is time at home on the weekend, I can also take a break, even if the children are old, they are also the hearts of their parents, and they are concerned at any time.
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In fact, whether to help children with babies mainly depends on the needs of children. If the children can do it themselves, then the elderly don't need to intervene, but if the children really can't do it, and the elderly can help, then it's okay to help with it.
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The elderly also like to take children, and the old people generally take the initiative to take care of children, and the key is that there will be companionship when they are old. So when I'm old, I like children, and I will volunteer to help bring it.
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Willing. When you're old, most of the time you take care of your children is actually for yourself.
You're not really here to help your kids.
Come to think of it, it's boring when you retire and have nothing to do.
Bringing grandchildren can alleviate this problem.
It gives you something to do, and something that makes you feel happy inside.
Because with grandchildren, the joy is greater than the hardship.
At the same time, your family is more harmonious.
It's not really about doing much for your child.
Then why don't you help your son take care of more children when you are old?
To help your son is to help yourself.
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I'm too old to take my grandchildren. The elderly have no obligation to help young people take care of children, children are the responsibility of young people themselves, and it is an obligation to take their sons and daughters, but bringing grandchildren has absolutely no direct relationship with themselves, these things should be borne by the parents of children, and have nothing to do with the children's grandparents. Now some young people feel that the elderly are already retired, there is nothing to do, they still have to work, and the elderly should also do to help take care of their grandchildren, after all, they are a family.
But I don't think that's the case, when parents were young, they worked hard to bear the heavy responsibilities of the family, and finally survived until retirement, they should enjoy their own lives, raise us and they have done what they should do, and our own children should be brought by themselves, they are not obliged to help us take care of the children, they should enjoy life.
Nowadays, life is really stressful, generally two people in the family have to work, sometimes there is no time to take care of the children, you can ask the elderly to help take care of it at some times, but most of the time you should still take care of yourself. When our parents were young, they also brought us by themselves, and we should find ways to overcome this kind of thing by ourselves, instead of passing on the pressure to the elderly. I myself will not ask the elderly to help take care of my grandchildren, and I will naturally not help take care of my grandchildren when I am old.
I don't need my mother to urge me to put on cotton pants anymore, and no matter how bitter the medicine is, I won't pour it out secretly. I'll never forget what I heard when I watched the Olympics: This is a '92 veteran.
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