How can I stand on my own feet with my mother?

Carefully savored your post: Your mother really loves you, it seems that the distance is not well mastered, and it is too close.

In your post, you talk about your feelings very clearly, and your feelings are very clear. Actually, you have realized that you have grown up, and your mother has realized that you have grown up, but the mother who loves her child seems to not want her child to grow up, and has been contacting you in a non-adult way.

I think that children need to understand their mothers, and children need to strive for their mother's recognition of their own growth, if the mother still does not let go and let go, it means (from the perspective of medical psychology) that you have been taking care of your mother, and your mother has always been afraid that the child is too far away from herself. Because, the mother's life is too simple, the mother only feels that she is still valuable when she realizes that the child has always needed to be taken care of by herself, and there are people to rely on herself.

Dr. Chan suggests that understanding and respecting your mother first does not mean that you have lost your freedom, and it can be counted as a reward for your mother's years of dedication to her. Then, learn to talk to your mother about something, let her mother understand herself, let her mother truly admit that she has grown up, let her learn to live without relying on herself, and get used to the life where her children are not around.

Perhaps what you need most now is to talk to your mom face-to-face, so that she can give you support and encouragement and guide you on the road to independence. Be brave, the future is still up to you, everyone is like that.

In fact, the relationship between us and our parents seems to be a reversal, and when they reach a certain stage, they will be very dependent on us, and at this time we will also implement a free-range policy.

While keeping your parents safe, let them solve the difficulties they encounter on their own, and you can provide them with material support.

First of all, you must learn to appreciate your own mother.

Mothers should take care of their children while taking care of their own self-cultivation and dressing, appreciate their own advantages and beauty, even if it is hypocritical and narcissistic, the focus is on self-confidence.

Don't change what makes you unique.

There are many mothers who have gradually changed a lot of their personalities for their husbands, and once suppressed themselves to be the perfect wife in their husbands' minds. But it's like a hedgehog having her thorns plucked to protect her, how will she survive? Stick to being yourself, stick to imperfection.

In this way, it seems that your mother should usually be very dependent on others, and I think this is because he has very few people around him and has a small vision, so he will always rely on people. If you want your mother to become independent, then I think you can let him go out to find a job to make money and do what he likes, but go out with him, let him see more, expand his horizons, so that his personality can gradually change.

It's not hard to make your mom stand on her own, and here are a few tips that will help you:

1. Instill some ideas related to self-reliance in your mother, and believe that in the near future, your mother will get earth-shaking changes and be able to get the results she wants.

2. Try to cultivate the independence of the mother in life, no matter what problems you encounter, you must ask the mother to complete it independently, especially when you encounter difficulties, you must not try to dodge.