Why do many couples get in love well, but divorce after getting married?

The management of love is like cutting an I-shaped brick wall, adding a piece today, adding a piece tomorrow, and the solid love is the foundation of the wall, such a wall of love is solid and can withstand the wind and rain. Even if the bricks are dropped, they are dropped one by one.

As long as you find it immediately, you can replace it immediately.

Most of my girlfriends who have only been married for about 1 year have become resentful wives, complaining about their mother-in-law's difficulties all day long, and the relationship between husband and wife is also tense;

They basically say: marriage is really boring.

Therefore, I think that the expectations for marriage before marriage are too high, and the emotional intelligence when encountering problems after marriage is not high enough, which is one of the possible reasons, after all, marriage is more complicated than a simple cohabitation life It seems that running a marriage seems to be very hard and <>

But the process of hard work is to experience and consolidate sweet love.

For the change from love to marriage, I summarize a few points:

1. Change of role. Boyfriend becomes husband, girlfriend becomes wife. The wife wants her husband to treat herself like a boyfriend, and the husband wants her to be as empathetic as his girlfriend.

3. Changes in desire. Before getting married, for the standard of living, live a good day. After getting married,

When falling in love, the feelings of both parties are relatively strong, the eyes are each other's advantages, ignoring the shortcomings of the other party, only seeing the advantages of the other party, the lover is out of the eyes, with a long time together, after marriage, facing the triviality of marriage, the shortcomings of the other party are exposed, the two sides get along with each other in the process of friction and contradictions, if both parties can not understand and tolerate each other, the contradiction will become bigger and bigger, if one of the parties files for divorce, the other party is not calm, there is a high probability of going on the road to divorce.

Because there are several differences between love and marriage, I will analyze it for you below.

First of all, the state of the two sides is different.

Both parties are positive when they are in love, and they are lazy after marriage.

In the process of falling in love, each other wants to attract each other and let each other love themselves more, so they try to show their better side, and the partner sees the better side, and after entering the marriage state, everything is a foregone conclusion, both parties have no pressure, and continue to improve their motivation, all kinds of sloppy and lazy performances are shown, and slowly both parties lose interest in each other.

Second, the environment is becoming more complex.

Falling in love is a matter for the two of you, and after getting married, it's a matter for both families.

In love, you only need to enjoy the happiness that each other brings to each other, and after marriage, you have to bear each other's family, as well as trivial things such as firewood, rice, oil and salt, many times feelings are consumed in trivial things, such as housework, cleaning, cooking, etc., etc., these will consume feelings.

Again, modern people's concept of marriage and love has changed a lot.

There is no shame in divorce.

Different from our previous generation, many of them chose forbearance for the sake of their children and families, while modern people are more in pursuit of their own happiness and self-happiness, if they are not happy in marriage, they are willing to choose divorce, they do not think that they are ashamed after divorce, they are more willing to run for their own happiness.

When you fall in love, you are in a completely different state than after you get married, so the degree of understanding of each other is completely different.

First, when you are in love, although you can get tired of spending a lot of time together every day, it is not around the clock, and even if it is all-weather for a period of time, it is not on an annual basis. Therefore, in a short period of time, it is impossible to understand all the living habits, social circles, advantages and disadvantages of the other party.

Second, when falling in love, the family members of both parties do not intervene much, so both people show their understanding of each other in the form of individuals. See mostly the advantages, even the best side. However, after getting married, it's different.

Family members, relatives, and more friends are included in the vision of both parties' lives, and after marriage, both parties have nothing to talk about, it is easy to magnify the shortcomings, weaken the advantages, lead to aesthetic fatigue, and produce boredom.

Third, distance produces beauty, there is not much time for both parties to see each other before marriage, so they always feel that each other is beautiful, after marriage, the two are together every morning and evening, get up and sleep together, and at this time, it is the time for both parties to put down the exquisite outside, show sloppy or even get up angry, bad habits, etc., so it is easy to form a bad impression. Over time, if some intolerable habits are exposed and cannot be changed, it is easy to form grudges and even lead to divorce.

The ideal is plump, and the reality is skinny. Before marriage and after marriage, people's mental activities are completely different. Women are generally more sensual, and they will imagine a good life after marriage before marriage; And men are more rational or hypocritical, and the hypocrisy in this does not mean that men cheat women, but that men are very good at disguising before marriage.

disguise your shortcomings so that women can't guess them.

In this way, within one to two years after marriage, it is the couple's "manic period". At this stage, the wise couple will get through it in peace, otherwise it will end in divorce.

And the reason for divorce is not to say that "money, house, work pressure, living economic pressure, parents of both parties, etc.......”

Nowadays, the divorce rate is generally increasing, resulting in many unmarried young men and women not daring to get married, and even developing a fear of marriage. In fact, you don't need to be so nervous, you need to have a certain amount of confidence in yourself and the other person.

The way to get along with husband and wife is a science, and what I understand is mutual respect and love.

People who got married because of love later divorced, why is this happening? No one has ever said that love equals marriage and marriage equals love. It's just that a marriage with a love foundation will be happier.

But will this happiness change over time? No one knows, hopefully. However, hope is always hope.

A lot of cruelty in reality will make you powerless. Many people are reluctant to compromise. Living together is not the life you want.

Therefore, divorce is an imperative thing. Did they not have love once upon a time? Some.

It's just that love is also a consumable in marriage. If it can't be sustained, it will burn out sooner or later. In the divorce, don't doubt the sincerity of the time when you were married.

These are two different things, and they cannot be equated together.

<> if you have to get a divorce – remember, you once loved each other with all your heart. And, there was a marriage without regrets. That's it.

Love comes and goes fast. Excessive pursuit of self-feeling. Happiness is all relative, and there is no such thing as absolute happiness.

For marriage, the partner's expectations are too high, in fact, the essence of married life: chicken feathers are the norm, and the wind and snow are accidental. But people usually come backwards, and that is that the higher the expectations, the greater the disappointment.

Divorce is sloppy, many people think that marriage is the beginning of love, but in fact, marriage is the end of love. A good marriage is boiled out, of course, the boil here is not hard work, but the rational adjustment of the expectations of both parties for marriage and partner, more understanding, more patience, and more recognition of the value of the partner.

There is wisdom to boil the relationship between two people. Extend the marriage for a few more years, a few more years, and a few more years......Getting married because of love is like two people falling in love and starting a company, the longevity of marriage lies in management, and the longevity of the company also lies in management. Running a marriage is even harder than running a company.

Those who choose to divorce are also impulsive, and there are also those who are more decisive. In marriage, it can expose a person's true temperament and habits, and divorce, one parting and two forgiveness, is not necessarily a bad thing, just like the company will go bankrupt. For divorced people, it is best to solve the problem of raising and educating children.

Don't grieve your children because of divorce.

Because love can't stand frustration, they have experienced a lot of firewood, rice, oil and salt after getting married, and he has lost his feelings for each other in his life, so there will be divorce.

This is because with the outbreak of many things in life, there are problems in the relationship between two people, and in the end, there is no way to choose to break up, and love will be consumed.

Time has passed. Writer Yang Daxia Yang Ke analysis.

Many people are reluctant to compromise. Living together is not the life you want. Therefore, divorce is an imperative thing.

Because of the lack of freshness, after getting married, they face many practical problems, which will produce certain differences, resulting in discord between husband and wife, if you do not know how to communicate and communicate, this will only lead to more and more problems, and thus the relationship will break down and lead to divorce.

I think this is because the roles of both parties have changed, and they need to face all kinds of things after marriage, and in this process, it is easy to quarrel, etc., so many couples have a good relationship before marriage, but they will still divorce after marriage.

When you are in love, you are mainly based on spiritual enjoyment, supplemented by material, and after marriage, it is mainly based on material and supplemented by spirit, because life is compelled, so you can only choose divorce.

In this society, there are many people who dare not fall in love, because they are always afraid of breaking up or divorce, but you can't not try it because you are afraid that it is not suitable And today I want to talk to you about why the current divorce rate.

And the breakup rate is so high? <>

The first one is because our current society is very good, we can be free and equal, and we also pay attention to normal love, and in the process of two people falling in love, they may feel inappropriate when they slowly understand each other, so over time they will separate this book, a normal Including many people may get married impulsively, but after getting married, they feel inappropriate, which is not like that inherent era, even if it is not suitable, they still have to be together, compared to a relationship or marriage without feelings, Then it's better to separate early and let each other go. <>

Seriously, the pressure on contemporary young people is really great, they have to support their parents, they have to support their own children, and at the same time they have to live, there may be car loans, mortgages, etc., these pressures follow, their mood may be bad, and even many people will not choose to let their wives go to work after they have no children at home, so that the burden of life is all on their bodies, and their wives have been at home every day for decades to clean up the house. Busy or something, of course, there will be a certain amount of resentment, and the two people will slowly have many contradictions, gradually quarrel, and finally move towards the demise of the marriage. <

There are many people who say that when they fall in love, they must see who the other party is, but there are some people who are really able to disguise, so there are some times when I advise you to consider a person for a long time, but don't taste it specially, otherwise wait for him to give up on you, it is really meaningless, all in all, this time period is still according to your own mastery, and the advent of a love is not so simple, don't be together for a while, It's irresponsible.

This is due to the fact that everyone has a different view of feelings, and they will find many problems and shortcomings of the other party in the process of getting along, and they will magnify the person's problems through these shortcomings, which will lead to the emergence of contradictions between two people, and finally lead to breakup and divorce.

It's because these people are not suitable at all, although they have been together for a long time, they still can't get to the end in the end, it may be that there is no relationship between the two, or they are affected by practical factors, which is human nature.

In many people's lives, their parents often urge them to get married before they choose flash marriage, and finally find that they are not suitable for each other at all. will choose to get married and divorce.

Although it is said that "My Fair Lady, the gentleman is good." "But the level of obsession with the form is still staggering. It can't be said that people with beautiful looks are not good, butis only obsessed with appearance, and it is too unsophisticated for marriage.

If it is a "golden jade, it is ruined on the outside", wouldn't it be troublesome. There is no novelty of falling in love, after a long time, I found that the other party has changed, it is different from my imagination, the personality is incompatible, the three views are inconsistent, all kinds of bad habits and problems come out, noise and emotions are indispensable, and I am really married: it is vegetables, rice, oil, salt, sauce and vinegar, and every day is a trivial matter of life.

Therefore, some people will choose to divorce. In fact, what I want to say is: marriage, it is not a child's play, it needs to be managed with our hearts.

No matter what time it is between husband and wife, they must not dislike each other. Because all feelings will be reduced to family affection in the end. I can only say that the high divorce rate is due to the fact that people nowadays pay more and more attention to their own feelings, and they all want to live comfortably.

I don't have to accommodate anyone if I have the ability. If you have a deep relationship, you will definitely not be divorced, and you must think that it is better to live separately before you choose to divorce.

A good marriage is boiled out, of course, the boil here is not hard work, but the rational adjustment of the expectations of both parties for marriage and partner, more understanding, more patience, more recognition of the value of the partner, and wisdom to boil the relationship between the two people. Extend the marriage for a few more years, a few more years, and a few more years......But the death and life tortured by reality are often accompanied by regret and pain, and almost everyone has to experience the twists and turns of marriage and love, but there are light and heavy. So, it leads to a high divorce rate!

It is much more civilized, more progressive, and certainly much more fragile than the traditional model.

It's just that love is also a consumable in marriage. If it can't be sustained, it will burn out sooner or later. In the divorce, don't doubt the sincerity of the time when you were married. These are two different things, and they cannot be equated together.