How terrible is eccentric parenting?

Parents will be more or less biased, especially biased towards boys, because many parents always have an old idea that they will rely on their sons to support them when they are old, so they will pay more attention to their sons.

In a family with two children, sometimes a casual move by a parent can often inadvertently hurt the child's heart. How much does the partiality of parents hurt?

Many times, the partiality of parents we talk about is not lightweight, but parents really do a lot of things that do not take into account the child's true feelings, but require the child to take the initiative to understand the parents' motives, which directly destroys the child's trust in the parents and triggers the child's resentment and humiliation.

Parents sacrifice the needs of a child to meet the needs of the child who is favored by themselves, directly creating the unfairness of love, just like the white-collar girl mentioned above, she has experienced many years of unloved life, completely lost heart to her parents, chose to live the life she wants, and broke away from the distorted parental love.

The phenomenon of parental partiality reveals a truth of life - parents depriving their children of love already constitute the fact of mental abuse.

But what is the psychological impact of children who are not favored by their parents, who are neglected and abused by their parents? The message is that the child is not worthy of love, and that if he wants to be loved, he must first take care of another sibling.

His self-esteem and self-confidence are not basically guaranteed, and his own interests must be conceded to another person at any time. The most important person in his life (his parents) has repeatedly made him lose trust, and he will not learn to trust other people, and it is difficult to establish close relationships with other people, and he feels that he has no value in existence, like duckweed without roots.

Being treated maliciously makes it difficult for him to face the facts, often having suicidal thoughts and wanting to abuse others or small animals.

Although it is said that every child is a piece of meat that has fallen from the parents=, and the child is like his own palm and the back of his hand, you must know that even the palm and the back of the hand have different thicknesses. In families with many children, parents are rarely able to treat each other equally, because each child's personality is different.

For those obedient and sensible children, parents tend to prefer more; For those naughty and rebellious children, maybe the parents will automatically give up on this one child. Of course, parents spend the most attention on their first and last children. Because the first child spends a lot of time with them, and the last child is the youngest in the family, they tend to pamper both children more.

And for those children who are in the middle, they are often neglected by their parents. Especially when they are mediocre in all aspects, parents often don't notice the child in the middle.

I have three children in my family, and I am the second child. So compared to my eldest brother and my younger sister, I am often the one who is neglected in the family. My parents can clearly remember the food that my brother and sister liked to eat, the clothes they liked, even though every time they were at the table, it was the food that both of them liked to eat.

But my parents never remember what I like to eat, what I think? Or they don't care what I think, and in their opinion, it's not easy for them to raise me.

Therefore, in a family with many children, it is very normal for parents to be eccentric, and if you want parents to pay more attention to themselves, then they must be good enough. As long as you work hard enough, your parents will see your brilliance.

Parents are more reassuring and may pay less attention to you, asking questions about the performance of parental eccentricity.

Answer: Although some parents say that they are not partial, how much money they spend on their two children is different. It is evident that eccentric parents, from the very beginning, treat their two children unequally.

Partial or not partial, you can't just look at the material. If parents are partial, the degree of attention to the child's spiritual world and the attitude towards the child are also different.

In the eyes of eccentric parents, even if the two children in the family are their own children, the hopes they place on their children are different. For example, they will think that it is useless for girls to have too high a degree and that they will have to marry sooner or later; For another example, they will think that they can't expect their daughters to support their old age, they can't rely on it, and they still have to rely on their sons to support their old age; For another example, only a son is the continuation of his life, and only a daughter is equal to an end, etc. This kind of hope placed in one child, the act of being greater than the other, is partiality.

In families with many children, it is more common for parents to be biased. Why is it eccentric? There are many reasons for this.

For example, for younger children, they will be partial and give more care and attention. Children who are more obedient will also be partial to their parents, and they will like it more.

Of course, other reasons are not excluded. For example, after his brother was criticized by his parents, he would not hold grudges, and he would always be happy with his parents. Parents of such children will also be more biased.

Therefore, the problem should be analyzed from multiple angles. But also look at it in perspective. In this way, there will be less tangled and more understanding.

There are several reasons why parents are biased:

If a child is weaker in the parents' minds, they will involuntarily favor this side;

One child makes the parents more at ease, while the other is mischievous everywhere;

There is no specific reason, just prefer one over the other;

"patriarchal" traditional old thinking;

In fact, no matter what, parents should be as fair as possible and take care of the feelings of their two children, after all, they are their own flesh and blood. If it is not handled well, the damage caused to the unfavored party may be irreparable for a lifetime.

There are usually two or three children in a family, and parents will prefer one of them, and most parents will prefer boys, and most parents will prefer the youngest son. Parents will favor small children mainly because small children are not as old as the old, they need more care from their parents, not to mention brothers and sisters with a lot of age differences, the big ones are pampered by parents for many years, and after having younger brothers and sisters, the favor is getting less and less, because parents feel that you should be sensible as a big brother and sister, and you can no longer compete with younger brothers and sisters.

Parental partiality is her business, as long as you are right about your parents, it's fine, good people must be rewarded.

Not all parents in this world will sincerely love their children, if a pair of parents have more children or are affected by various old concepts such as patriarchy, then it is difficult to balance the bowl of water between children, and it is inevitable that they will be partial to this and snub that! For eccentric parents, there is no great feeling in personal growth and life, because although the parents have a son and a daughter, they have never had the idea of preference for sons, have never been partial to anyone, and have never treated them equally! So how terrible is eccentric parenting?

First, we often see such terrible eccentric parents in film and television dramas, such as Fan Shengmei's parents in "Ode to Joy" are extremely eccentric, in the play, her parents have been relying on her to fund the daily life of the family, but they turned around and took the money to help Fan Shengmei's indisputable brother and sister-in-law, and even the funds for the down payment of the brother and sister-in-law to buy a house and the children's daily life and education expenses were borne by her as a weak woman, and all this she did was taken for granted in the eyes of her parents. The eccentric parents never cared about how the daughter who worked hard alone in Shanghai lived, but they just gnawed on their daughter's "blood and bones" and kept squeezing her life, so that she was still single at the age of thirty! Such eccentric parents are really terrible, since they can't make a bowl of water, why bother to have children? In fact, what is terrible is not the oppression of life, but the evil side of human nature!

Second, in fact, eccentric parents also abound in real life, we often see various reports of this kind on TV or online platforms, especially for patriarchal parents, girls are not taken seriously, and even at the moment of birth will not be abandoned! Giving birth without raising or educating is like throwing away one's own biological child like losing a piece of clothing, this kind of behavior is really terrible!

Eccentric parents can lead to children turning against each other, and it can also affect the relationship between parents and children. It will affect the child's character, it will affect the child's life, my parents are not partial, and they are especially fair to our two sisters.

Eccentric parents will cause a shadow on their children's psychology, make them feel uncared for and not have enough sense of security, which is not conducive to their establishment of a correct outlook on life and values; My parents were not partial, and both my parents were very nice to me and my brother.

It will make a child feel particularly inferior in life, especially cowardly, insecure, especially distrustful of himself, and will also feel that he has no warmth in life. There will be no eccentricity.

I think it's the truth, although it is said that the palms and backs of the hands are meat, but no parent in the world can really achieve a bowl of water.

So why do parents be biased? Is Parental Favoritism the Cause of Just One Side?

2.Parental love is unconditional, but reality cannot be completely unconditional. Whether the grades are good or not, whether to give parents a long face, whether to treat parents patiently, and other external conditions will affect the parents' focus on their children.

3.Patriarchal thinking.

Because some special experiences lead to parental partiality, such as the eldest is healthy and the second is weak and sickly, the parents are more partial to the second child.

How do you think about parental partiality?

1.We often assume that "all parents are children" as a prerequisite, but we ignore some of the more important factors. Just like in the interaction between people, is the relationship between two people with similar personalities closer?

So, when calculating your emotional gains, please calculate your emotional input first.

2.And some parents are biased but unreasonable, such as patriarchy, such a family grows up children, I hope you slowly understand that you are not wrong. Parental partiality cannot be changed, and we must correctly recognize our own value.

1.In fact, many times this is real, so it is men and women, I believe that some families if he is particularly patriarchal, then at this time for some treatment of girls or some words and behavior education, there may be a lot of shortcomings, and then for boys will be too doting or too much to give him something, and then it will lead to brothers and sisters or between sisters and sisters getting along very badly, because one party is just very bad, If the other party is doing very well, then as a child, his psychology is very simple, and he will be very unhappy.

2.Especially if it's convenient enough to eat, wear, and use, it's especially obvious.,It's been a long, long time since I bought anything for a girl? But many times when I go out or come back for the New Year, I will buy some clothes for boys, or buy some food, or buy some other utensils, toys, etc., then I will definitely be very envious at this time, because some families, he still thinks that boys can go to the next generation, so many times they are still more patriarchal, but now many families are equal to men and women, so I think the current development of this society is particularly good.

3.And some families, after all, every family has a scripture that is difficult to read, so many times he may experience a lot of things, he may not like a certain child, etc., then at this time it will be biased towards a certain child, this is very normal, after all, everyone's experience is different, you may think it is incredible, but he thinks this is very normal, he will feel better like this, because everyone's thoughts and experiences are different.

4.But I think that if you deliberately favor a certain child, causing a certain child to lack a lot of things, and then it will cause a lot of shadows to his childhood, like some lack of love or lack of care, then he will develop a very low self-esteem from an early age. In the same way, he will feel that he does not deserve anything, so when he grows up, he can cheat him with a little something, and many times he will not like to contact others very much, which will cast a shadow on his whole life.

5.So I think that if parents raise a certain child or some children, then they should still have a bowl of water and give each child the same thing, so that every child can be equal in the same year, not that there is a lack of some kind of love or lack of anything, which will cause a lot of irreparable shadows in his life, and will make the child feel very bad, or very scared, etc., so I think that parents must be good.

I hope I can help you, I wish you a happy life and a happy day!