Why is it that when it comes to the bad relationship between mother in law and daughter in law, it i

The problem of a bad relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law seems to be a difficult problem for the ages, but it is not absolute. Because we can still see that there are many families where mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law get along better than mothers and daughters. If you want to delve into the reasons for the bad relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it seems that there are the following points.

One. Co-located in the same place.

China has always had the custom of four generations or even five generations living together, and is proud of it, who knows, easy to get along, difficult to live with, it is precisely because of living under the same roof, contradictions will also increase, itself before ten or twenty years, or even thirty years, is not in the same family coexistence, each has its own living habits and preferences, suddenly living together, maybe you like to eat spicy, she likes to eat sweet, you want to eat light, but she has a heavy taste, these seemingly inconspicuous problems, really live together, daily conflict, It may turn into a cumulative complaint, and eventually irreconcilably evolve into a bad relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

IIGnaw the old.

There are too many modern people who have become giant babies who can't quit milk, and they usually need their parents' support for everything, and then, when something happens, they have to come forward with their parents. But when it comes time to return to their own small family life, they want their parents to let go completely, is it possible? Parents are usually used to asking them to interfere in everything, and if you want them to ignore anything, there is a high probability that they will not be able to stop by inertia.

And as the saying goes, eat people with a soft mouth and take people with short hands, you enjoy the benefits brought to you by your mother-in-law, and you don't want people to say a second word, the cheap is taken advantage of by you, is this possible?

As a difficult problem for the ages, the problem of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been staged from ancient times to the present, but there has never been a correct solution.

It is generally believed that the problem of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a woman's problem, and it should naturally be counted on the woman's head, and add a sigh, why should a woman be embarrassed by a woman.

It's obviously a problem of three people, why should all the responsibility be borne by women?

Behind the serious problem of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, there must be a man with soft ears and no opinions, and this man is the son of his mother-in-law and the husband of his daughter-in-law.

In the name of being a good husband to his son, this man is perfunctory on both sides and mud. When his mother and wife vented their bitterness on him, he adopted a roundabout tactic of one ear in and one ear out, just to stay out of the situation and avoid trouble turning to himself. In fact, this will not only not solve the problem, but will make the situation worse and out of control.

It is said that the mother-in-law's involvement is the fuse of the breakdown of the marriage, and if the two generations want to live in harmony, the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law must have one who can endure.

Is that really the case?

Mother-in-law is also a human being, he has worked hard for half his life to bring up his son, he is both your queen mother and your nanny, why should she clamp her tail and be a man because of the arrival of another woman?

Before my wife married you, she was also a baby princess of someone else's family, and she was pampered since she was a child, so why did she have to be willing to be a puffed up bag after arriving at your house?

Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law do not get along well, the husband's attitude is very important, a man with high emotional intelligence and good at handling family relationships, his family must be harmonious and obedient.

When it comes to the bad relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it is basically the mother-in-law's problem, but in fact, this is a misunderstanding, and it is also a way to look at things with colored glasses. Because the mother-in-law is more old and interferes with the daughter-in-law in this way, it is easy to have problems.

Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are two types of people in different eras, due to the growth environment when they were children, the people and things they come into contact with are not the same, coupled with the influence of the original family on them, the way of thinking and behavior is different, and it is normal to have a generation gap. In particular, some mothers-in-law who are more feudal and conservative have been influenced by some old-fashioned mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships since the beginning of marriage.

When she becomes a mother-in-law when she is old, she naturally hopes to continue these in her daughter-in-law, and always asks her daughter-in-law to do what she does with her daughter-in-law's life and behavior, but she doesn't know that the times have long been different, although the status of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is still the relationship between old and young, but using old ideas to restrict new daughters-in-law will definitely result in bad results, and will only hurt both.

There is also a kind of mother-in-law, that is, when she feels that her son is married, she will feel that her son has been snatched away by another woman for many years, and she will feel very strong"Vinegar", and this kind of mother-in-law also knows if in front of the daughter-in-law"Scramble"The odds weren't great, so I learned it slowly"Drills", one set in front of the son, and another set for the daughter-in-law when the son is away, and the family relationship must be stirred into a pot of porridge in order to show that he is indispensable.

1. The reasons for the bad relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

1. Men don't do it well.

If a man is a "mom treasure man", and his mother will do whatever he says, then it is conceivable how much grievances his daughter-in-law will suffer. Similarly, if a man is typically afraid of his wife, and his wife is whatever she says, then her mother-in-law will definitely be wronged, so that the relationship between her mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will not be good. As the saying goes, a smart man coaxes on both sides, and a confused man is the microphone.

Only when the man correctly handles the relationship at home can the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law be fundamentally resolved. What is the best state of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and how to do a good job in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in

2, the little couple did not have a baby.

In the past, it often happened that mothers were more expensive than their children, and daughters-in-law entered her in-laws' house, and if she could give birth to a boy as soon as possible, then her status would basically be preserved. Although there is not so much patriarchy now, if the younger couple does not have a child for many years, it will also affect the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. You must know that whether it is a grandson or a granddaughter, the role in a family is quite large, and the family relationship and atmosphere will become more harmonious and happy because of a child.

2. What is the root cause of discord between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law?

1. Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law live together for a long time.

Needless to say, if you don't look up every day, even if it's a trivial thing, after a long time, it can become the last straw that bends the camel. Therefore, if the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is already tense, it is better not to live together, and go back to see your mother-in-law once a year and a half, I believe that even if there is a little prejudice, it will not attack, and it is too late to eat and drink. How to do a good job in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-

Teach you how to get along with a few mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law!

2. Economic issues.

This is probably a common problem, poor couples are in decline. If you want to solve this problem, the young couple should work hard and work together to make the economic conditions of the small family better. If the mother-in-law and father-in-law have the ability to earn money, they must also work hard to make the economic conditions better, and they can't gnaw on the small as they are young, after all, it is not easy for young people nowadays, and it is indeed not easy to be burdened with mortgages, car loans, and children's education, and the elderly should also be considerate of their children.

Most children want to be filial, but many times, economic conditions do not allow it.

Mother-in-law issues account for 25% of conflicts

1) Excessive interference in the life of the small family, disrespect for the strength and integrity of the small family;

2) the factors of detachment from society, not understanding the tension and pressure of young people's work and life, and blindly asking them to live according to the lifestyle of the elderly;

3) the conflict between old ideas and living habits;

4) greed and blind comparison of the filial piety of juniors;

5) Lack of focus in one's own life, over-dependence on small families, spiritually or financially;

6) Excessive eccentricity.

**。In fact, the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law are two irrelevant strangers, because of a man, they become family members in the legal sense. Therefore, both sides do not have to hope too high, and do not covet what they can give themselves, everyone respects each other as the premise, gets along politely, and empathizes more when encountering problems, so that getting along is easier and more pleasant.

After a long time, remember more of the good of many parties, and the good feelings will slowly come out, and family affection will naturally arise after a few years.

When it comes to the bad relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it is generally a mother-in-law's problem. Because the mother-in-law, as an elder, should have a tolerant heart, and should be an example, the mother-in-law will set an example, and the daughter-in-law will learn from the mother-in-law. Therefore, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not good, and it is basically a mother-in-law's problem.

Because we often say, "Why should a woman be embarrassed by a woman?" "However, there is always another woman in life who will embarrass a woman.

If it is said that women encounter difficulties with female colleagues and female bosses at work, it is easier to deal with them, and they can walk away, but in a family, the difficulties from the mother-in-law or daughter-in-law are really unavoidable.

Because of this, the contradictions and conflicts in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have become "typical representatives" of difficulties between women. We often hear women who are daughters-in-law complain about their mother-in-law, say that their mother-in-law is not good, and criticize their mother-in-law. In the eyes of these daughters-in-law, everything is right, while the mother-in-law is pointing fingers at the children's marriage and looking for trouble.

It is true that some mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships are not handled well. They don't understand the hard work of their daughter-in-law, use old concepts to restrain their daughter-in-law's thinking, treat their daughter-in-law as an elder and suppress them, make all kinds of accusations when they are slightly unhappy, and even try to persuade their son to divorce. So, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not good, is it all the fault of the mother-in-law?

Let's hear what these "evil mothers-in-law" have to say. The daughter-in-law is too lazy. There's nothing wrong with my daughter-in-law, she's just too lazy.

She usually does nothing at home.

I think the main reason is that the concept between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has changed dramatically, and the daughter-in-law is married to the son of the mother-in-law, and the mother-in-law will think that she is helping to snatch their son, so she will have some dissatisfaction with the daughter-in-law, but I think the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is generally not just silently being a daughter-in-law.

This is because people generally think that a good mother-in-law will have a good daughter-in-law first, and the mother-in-law is good to the daughter-in-law, and the daughter-in-law will naturally be good to the mother-in-law.

Mother-in-law does not understand her daughter-in-law at all in life, and will often pick bones from her mouth. Frequent picking.

Mother-in-law and daughters-in-law all over the world have similar problems. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in China is more difficult to deal with, which is due to the different traditions and cultures between China and foreign countries, and the root causes are mainly in the following three aspects: First, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law live together.

The most basic pattern of marriage between men and women in China is that the woman marries the man and lives with the man's family, which is an extremely important source of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law that is difficult to deal with. Let's imagine that after years of running-in, the man's family has formed a basic balanced relationship, and now, suddenly Xiaoliang has a daughter-in-law who breaks in and joins this family member, which naturally destroys the original balance. What's more, in this family member, there are not only mothers-in-law, sons-in-law and daughters-in-law, but also fathers-in-law, sisters-in-law or brothers-in-law, etc., who naturally want to stand on the mother-in-law's side.

Therefore, the daughter-in-law will feel aggrieved and think that they are a family dealing with her. Second, Chinese women have a high status in the family. Although China is still a male-dominated society, China has Chinese characteristics, no matter how high a man's social status is, but at home he has to obediently obey his wife, which is the basic nature of the vast majority of families.

Before the daughter-in-law marries, the mother-in-law's position in the family is supreme, whether it is her husband or her children, that must be heard. The struggle between Chinese mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law is really similar to the struggle between two generations of kings in the animal world. Third, Chinese women are still not the breadwinners of household income.

Although it is now equal between men and women, although the family status of women is very high, the status of the vast majority of women is still based on whether men have the ability to live, and they still need to rely on men to live.

In our girlfriend group, there are two major topics that are very hot, one is children, and the other is mother-in-law. When it comes to the topic of mother-in-law, those who usually dive in the group will come out and bitterly express the history of blood and tears of fighting wits and courage between themselves and their mother-in-law, which is even more exciting than a book. What's more, some friends have deteriorated their relationship due to the intervention of their mother-in-law, and their married life is very unhappy.

In response to this phenomenon, we began to share some ways to get along with our mother-in-law in order to maintain stability and harmony in family life. The reality is that whether a woman is doing well after marriage has a lot to do with whether you have a good mother-in-law or not. Since ancient times, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been an unavoidable topic in married life, and it is even more so now.

If you want to get married, the first thing to consider is how your mother-in-law is and whether she has a good personality or not. If you can meet a good mother-in-law, it is a very lucky thing for a woman. Then, if your mother-in-law has these kinds of performances, it means that you have met a standard good mother-in-law, and you are very blessed.

Do not interfere in the lives of sons and daughters-in-law.

Some mothers-in-law have a strong desire to control their sons, as long as they want to take care of their sons. Even after her son got married, she had to meddle in her life, making people feel that they didn't have any personal space. Sometimes because she doesn't understand the situation, she will become more and more chaotic, which will intensify the contradictions, and the originally small things will be out of control.

Some mothers-in-law don't care about this, thinking that their sons are married, and they shouldn't care so much, let alone dictate their lives. If there is any problem, the son and daughter-in-law will solve it by themselves, as an outsider, she does not understand the situation, and casually interfering will only make the situation worse. So, when you meet this kind of reasonable mother-in-law, just steal the fun.

There will be no patriarchy.

There are many women who are most worried about their husband's attitude after giving birth to their daughters, not their husbands' attitudes, but their mothers-in-law. Older people generally prefer grandchildren, and the requirement for daughters-in-law is to have a boy. Especially for mothers-in-law, whether or not they can give birth to a boy has become the criterion for judging whether a woman is a good daughter-in-law.

Some mothers-in-law slap at their daughter-in-law because she can't have a son, and even divorce her son. And for some mothers-in-law, no matter if their daughter-in-law gives birth to a boy or a girl, they are just as happy, and they will not have any opinions about their daughter-in-law because of this. will also understand the difficulties of the daughter-in-law and take care of the daughter-in-law during the confinement period.

There will be no interference in the child's education.

In terms of educating children, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are also prone to conflicts. Some mothers-in-law teach their children according to their own ideas and do not let their daughters-in-law interfere. Even if some of his thoughts are wrong, he will not correct them, and he will even lose his temper because his daughter-in-law manages the children.

Although a good mother-in-law also loves her children, she knows in her heart that the child's education should still be managed by his parents, and she should not be in charge of so much. Otherwise, it is easy to cause conflicts, which is not good for children and is not conducive to family harmony. Therefore, a mother-in-law with these performances is a real good mother-in-law, who can think about her son and daughter-in-law, and at the same time know what she should and should not manage.

It is very blessed to meet such a mother-in-law woman.