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I don't think parents should interfere with their children's mate selection criteria, but there are some small suggestions to prevent children from encountering people with bad qualities.
In the past, we paid attention to "the life of the parents, the words of the matchmaker", but now people are more in pursuit of free love. With the progress of the times, people's ideas should also improve. Marriage is a matter of two people, after all, two people have to spend a lifetime, not a lifetime with both parents; You must know that people spend the longest time with their partners in their lives, so the most important thing is to like yourself
Parents help choose the perfect spouse in their eyes, but it is difficult for the parents' views to agree with the children's opinions. Only the feet know whether the shoes are suitable or not, so it is the children who really make the decision, and it is better for the parents not to interfere
If parents interfere with their children's mate selection criteria, it may cause their children to rebel. There are many such examples, the more parents interfere, the more children resist, which will be the beginning of many tragedies, and parents and children will be estranged; In the end, it did not prevent the two from being together, but the family was no longer close to each other, and the gains outweighed the losses. Parents should learn to respect their children, respect their children's wishes, and respect their children's vision; You can't always impose what you think is the best on him, even if the child's choice is wrong, let him bear it himself, people must always learn to grow up, and what children need more is respect。When children reach this stage of life, they already have their own values and views of love, and they should believe in their children's vision, and too much interference is doting on children.
Parents should not interfere with their children's mate selection criteria, but they can help check the gates; After all, parents have a lot more life experience than children, and they can see the essence of people better than children. You must know that if your partner's quality is questionable, you will not be happy in life; For girls, marrying the wrong person can ruin their lives; For boys, marrying the wrong person can affect the next generation. Of course, the marriage approved by the parents is the most perfect, and being able to get the consent of the parents is also the greatest blessing.
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Parents should not interfere with their children's criteria for choosing a mate. First of all, the child is an adult, and parents should respect every choice of the child and should not interfere too much with the privacy of the child's life. Secondly, it is the object of the child's life now and in the future, and parents cannot use their own vision to make decisions for their children.
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Parents can interfere with their children's criteria for choosing a mate, and the children are theirs. There is a certain reason for what you want to do.
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It is appropriate to give opinions and discuss with the child, but do not interfere with the child's criteria for choosing a mate.
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To a greater or lesser extent, it will affect the criteria for choosing a child's mate, especially for girls. <>
A person gets along with another person for a long time, and will slowly be influenced by him, when he is young, the child and his parents spend the longest time, and their parents' words and deeds will become their learning examples, if the father has a very good image in the eyes of his children, then the daughter will more or less compare with the father when choosing a mate, if the other party's performance is worse than the father, it is impossible to attract the attention of the girl. If the father treats the family badly, for example, he has never expressed love for his children, then the children will have a deep obsession with this part because of the lack of fatherly loveWhen looking for a partner, I will unconsciously look for someone older than myself, in order to feel the father's love in the other person. <>
Grumpy and even violent fathers will let themselves live in fear for a long time, and such emotions will affect them from time to time when they become adults, making them sensitive and gloomy, such boys and girls are difficult to get love, and they are afraid of getting married, for them marriage is like a cage, in which there is only hurt, sadness, no warmth and sweetness. Therefore, many children who come out of domestic violence families will mostly choose to be single, and few will choose to get married and have children. <>
The importance of a father to a child is not only manifested in the choice of mate, but also in the child's character. A gloomy and suspicious father raises children who are either gloomy or timid and afraid. So if the father loves the child, don't put all the responsibility of educating the child on the mother, maternal love is indeed great, but she can't replace the father's love, the mother can give the child warm love, and the father can make the child more resolute and resolute, don't always say that you are busy with work, almost time to accompany your child, don't wait until you are willing to put down work, only to find that the child is old enough to live alone from home,Every child's childhood is only once, and it will not wait and cannot wait.
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The father will affect the standard of the child, because the child lives with the father every day, if the father's personality is very good, she will find a person with a very similar personality to the father when she grows up, and if the father's character is very bad, he will definitely choose a person who is not at all different from the father's personality to marry.
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Of course, if the person is living in a single-parent family, then when the person is looking for a partner, he must be looking for someone who is full of security. The family will directly affect the child's personality and future development path.
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Of course, if the father is very responsible, his daughter will also want to find a husband like the father, and the daughter will also yearn for married life.
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Legal analysis: The parties to a marriage enjoy full autonomy in marriage matters in accordance with the provisions of the law, and no one may coerce or interfere with it. Therefore, parents have no right to interfere in the marriage of their children, and compulsory interference is suspected of violating the law.
Legal basis: Article 1042 of the Civil Code of the People's Republic of China prohibits arranged marriages, buying group houses, and other acts that interfere with the freedom of marriage. It is forbidden to solicit money or property under the pretext of marriage.
Bigamy is prohibited. It is forbidden for a spouse to cohabit with another person. Domestic violence is prohibited.
It is forbidden to abuse and abandon family members.
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Being intervened by parents when they are in love is really a common phenomenon for wives. There are many people who are sad after obeying their parents' arrangements for many years, and there are many people who regret not listening to the old man after getting married for many years. Of course, there are very few people like the male guest of "If You Are Honest, Do Not Disturb" who is so tough.
When asked by the female guest how to deal with the relationship between the spouse and the parents, how to deal with the opinions and participation of the parents when choosing a mate. The male guest made something unexpected, he bluntly said that he would not consider his parents' opinions, and even Grandpa Meng expressed his amazement.
After in-depth understanding, I found that the male guest's hardness was not without reason, but because the original family itself was very tolerant, supporting him "I am the master of my life", and giving the male guest enough space to choose. But the truth is that not everyone's family of origin will be so tolerant.
It has been said that "a marriage that does not have the approval of parents is a marriage of courage." "It takes a lot of courage because you have to face more difficulties and obstacles, so it is best to have the support and approval of your parents for love and marriage. And when faced with parental interference, what we need to do must not be to worsen the existing situation, but to do the following:
Respect. When there is a difference of opinion, you must first respect, not only respect your parents, their opinions are for your own good, but the important reputation is your own mind, you have to know what kind of person you are suitable for and need, after you are determined, you need to respect your own ideas, so that you can grow into a truly independent person.
Communicate. The second is to communicate with parents, no matter what the outcome is to achieve, effective communication is always essential! Communication is crucial in how to convince parents to handle a good relationship.
Attention needs to be paid to the tone of communication, attitude and logic, and it is necessary to communicate rather than arguing. You can first ask them about the reasons for their objections, and then make targeted breakthroughs, combining theory and examples, and finally introduce your partner to your parents and achieve communication between them.
Balance. Finally, for parents to interfere in love, we must remember "harmony" and "balance", in the face of parents' intervention in their feelings to stay sober, do not be carried away by emotions, no matter whether the situation is difficult or not, it is very important to maintain the harmony of parents, themselves, and lovers, and it is also a long-term consideration.
Sister Fei still hopes that everyone's love can be blessed by their parents, and they can be properly handled in the face of family interference, because love and family affection are very important.
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There are parents who don't rely on potatoes to talk about the music is such a sad and joyful thing, the sad thing is that they have many disasters, and other people's children are held in the palm of their hands by their parents, and they pay attention to the hall all the time. The joy is that although I have experienced all kinds of strange things, I have grown up, and it can be regarded as a happy thing. Even so, I still hope that parents can pay more attention, otherwise it will cause eternal pain to their children.
I have a friend who is like that, and I get sad when I think about it when I was a kid. One day in kindergarten, the other children were picked up by their parents, and no one came to pick them up from school until dark. From hope to hope, to the despair, the hope of the appearance of parents.
When he grew up, he realized that his parents forgot to take him home. But they didn't know how much damage this incident had caused to their friend, and how helpless he was at that time.
The same thing about netizens is also very worrying, after elementary school, it rained, and no one came to pick it up after waiting for a long time. So, I went back in the rain, and when I got home, I saw that my father was playing mahjong, and my mother was standing on the sidelines and watching.
Most of the people who tell these things are now grown up, working, or married, but they still remember these things clearly. Just like the beginning of a TV series, each episode will be replayed. When they say these words in the form of jokes, they may have been relieved and let go.
However, I hope that parents can remember these things because these unnecessary mistakes have caused harm to their children.
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I think whether parents interfere with your view of mate selection depends on whether you are a very autonomous person. If you are capable, then your parents will not worry about you and will not interfere with you, but if you cannot complete your own view of mate selection alone, then your parents will interfere with your choice.
1. There are two main reasons why parents interfere in their son's marriage.
1. The son does not have the ability to stand alone financially.
Parents know that their son is not financially independent, and they will definitely interfere in his marriage.
The son's lack of financial independence means that the parents have to pay a lot for his marriage, and since they need to contribute money and efforts, it is easy to understand that they want to lead the marriage.
You yourself don't have the ability to be financially independent, and if you shout that we want to pay, you have to do what we ask.
Parents may have to consider the future daughter-in-law's ability to earn money and run the house, so that the "not grown-up" son can live a good life. If the son is looking for a girlfriend who is also a person who lacks independence and is very dependent, they may oppose the relationship.
Just imagine, if we have the ability to be financially independent, not only can we bear all the expenses of marriage and married life, but even often help our parents reduce the pressure of life, we will naturally have the right to speak at home, and get the affirmation and trust of our parents, they will not impose their will on others, because they see that we can handle marriage problems well.
2. The son does not have the ability to take on the responsibilities of the family.
Some boys have a strong ability to earn money, but they don't know how to run a family, let alone how to take on family responsibilities, and their parents will interfere in his finding a partner and getting married.
For example, if the son makes money quickly in business or a certain industry, but lacks the ability to take care of himself, and does not know how to communicate and get along well with his parents and family, the parents will consider having a suitable daughter-in-law to complement each other, so that their small family is not only superior in economic conditions, but also in other aspects.
If the girlfriend brought back by the son is also only keen on making money, has poor self-care ability, knows nothing about housework, is not good at communicating with people, and has a great temper, the parents will consider whether it is suitable for them to get married, and how to educate and cultivate the above children, etc., they will advise the son to consider the suitability of this girlfriend.
If we already have the conditions to live at home and have the awareness and ability to take on family responsibilities, our parents will not be too lazy to worry.
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There will be no interference, but there will be opinions, and suggestions will be given.
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Summary. The father will affect the standard of the child, because the child lives with the father every day, if the father's personality is very good, she will find a person with a very similar personality to the father when she grows up, and if the father's character is very bad, he will definitely choose a person who is not at all different from the father's personality to marry.
Does the father influence the child's mate selection criteria? Why?
Friends, I really don't understand, you can be more specific.
The father will affect the standard of the child, because the child lives with the father every day, if the father's personality is very good, she will find a person with a very similar personality to the father after she grows up to destroy the sails, if the father's character is very bad, he will choose a person who is not at all different from the father's personality to marry.
No! Life is his own!
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If they don't interfere, they will feel that everything is out of control, and they can't stand their cabbage and let the pig arch.
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Hey, that kind of parent really has nothing to say. You can't say anything now, study hard, and when you're independent, you can face everything to you alone.
Most of the parents of the post-90s are more open-minded (relatively before), and the education of their children will also be combined with their childhood when they are so old, if it is an interest training class, roller skating, painting, or something mainly depends on the child's interest, if it is learning, first look at what kind of lack of learning the child's learning belongs, and it is useless to report any class if you don't want to learn, talk to the child and ask him why he didn't learn a certain subject, and then analyze and find the reason together If you don't want to, then make an appointment about how long it will take to make progress enough to make progress in the tutorial class and you can keep it, so you don't have to go Don't force it, don't make your child unhappy.