Funny jokes at work in the workplace, super humorous jokes in the workplace

Boss, do you have any other employees in our company besides me?

On the first day of work, my boss said to me: "In this company, everyone except me is your enemy, the workplace is like a battlefield, either you die or I live, our corporate culture."

It's the culture of wolves. ”

At that time, I was deeply shocked by this corporate culture full of cutthroat competition: "Boss, do we have any other employees in our company besides me?" ”

A real estate company recruited, and it actually recruited very ugly married women. Someone asked, "Isn't it because you want to sell your house when you recruit these married women?"

The boss said, "These people are all people I have selected!" Continue asking

Talent? No way! "The boss said

Can they marry themselves, are they afraid that she won't be able to sell something? ”

Some things, thinking about it from a different angle, are really different!

Two cannibals.

The company's HR director knew that these two guys were going to eat people every day, so he warned them: "If you dare to eat someone in the company, you will be fired immediately!" The two cannibals only agreed, saying that they would never eat people in the company.

Two months have passed, and the company is safe. Suddenly, one day, the company discovers that the cleaner who is responsible for cleaning the company is missing. So the HR director was very angry, found two cannibals to reprimand them, and fired them on the spot.

Leaving the company's gate, one cannibal immediately complained to the other: "I keep warning you not to eat people who are doing things, but you just don't listen!" We ate a manager every day for two months and no one noticed.

You see now that the cleaners are eaten, they will find out right away! You're such a pig!

A clerk was late for work, and the manager asked him why he was late, and he said: "When I was brushing my teeth this morning, I was in a hurry and accidentally squeezed out the toothpaste more than 40 centimeters long, and it took more than an hour for me to slowly retract it!" ”

I have a few small transparent shrimps. Today, when the leader came to check the office, he walked to the fish tank and asked, "What is this?" ”

I said, "Shrimp (blind)! ”

The leader was stunned, turned around and left.

I hurriedly shouted: "The leader is a shrimp (blind)!" Leader, leader, this is really a shrimp (blind)! The leader is really a shrimp (blind)! ”

The next day, I was fired.

The new secretary of the company is very meticulous and conscientious.

On his first day on the job, he spent an hour cleaning a bird cage and two hours cleaning a fish tank.

Then he asked his boss, "What else is there to do?" ”

The boss said, "Take the turtle for a walk!" ”

There was a graduate who went to Shanghai to look for a job for an interview just after graduation, and the first round of interviewers asked questions in English.

The graduate said shyly: "I have just arrived in Shanghai, and I am not very familiar with Shanghainese, can you please use Mandarin?" ”

The interviewer sat down on the floor ......

There are a lot of funny jokes at work, I think there should be a lot of them, because there are a lot of funny jokes at work in the workplace, so you can list it so that you can have a lot of humorous stories, so you can also share it with everyone.

If you have funny jokes at work in the workplace, you can joke with each other outside of work, well, colleagues joke with each other, well, it's good to enliven the atmosphere of the workplace, it's just an ordinary kind of little joke, but you also have to grasp the sense of proportion and joke.

The funny joke is that in this workplace, and then work hard, but all of a sudden it stops.

Funny jokes about workplace work, this can only be seen by yourself in the workplace, and others can't see it.

You are like a little calf, dare to fight hard, break in, have a future, and learn from you.

Only go up there and get it down, and I'll give it to you. You tell you you're working right now.

I think they're very funny, they know a lot of truth.

There are a lot of them here, you can look them up on the Internet, there are all that kind of funny jokes.

Super humorous joke in the workplace: A colleague asked: You are not young, why don't you find a girlfriend? I said, "Let it be......."My colleague said: You deserve to be single, and the monks in the temple all say so! More wonderful jokes are in the joke section, welcome to enjoy!

1. Once I drank with my buddy in a few restaurants, one buddy said: "Come to two boxes and drink first, can't you just return if you can't drink?" ”

The waiter said, "I won't return what I'm going to do." ”

The buddy decisively went back to the private room, and the brothers shouted to the waiter to ask for a bottle of beer, and the brothers were full, and then another bottle, another bottle, and then a bottle, and then the waiter hugged two boxes and said: "If you can't drink, you can return!" ”

2. Customer: "A fly flew into this porridge!" ”

Waitress: "Ignore it, you deserve it." ”

3. The three of them were drinking, and two of them were already drunk, and the boss kindly went over to persuade him: Mr. drank too much and hurt his body, so he should come back another day.

Mr. said: Thank you boss, I used to drink, and the hotel owner wished we drank more, or you have a good heart.

The boss said: It's over, you're going to be drunk in a while, I'll find someone to settle the bill.

4. Last night, I went to eat beef noodles, 18 yuan a bowl, I gritted my teeth, stomped my feet, and ordered a bowl.

The "generous" boss pinched two small slices of beef and served them to me.

I said gloomily: "Boss, next time I put less beef, I won't be able to finish it."

1. Several employees complained together.

Employee A: I just can eat, I don't want to work when I'm full, and the boss always says I'm a rice bucket.

Employee B: I'm a person who can drink, and if I drink too much, I will delay work, and my boss always says I'm a wine barrel.

Employee C: You talk, I'll go first.

Employee D: C likes to eat horse meat.

2. A unit has just finished a meeting, and the reporter interviewed the participating employees.

The employee looked around and pointed to a husk on the ground.

Employee: Mouth full of feces.

3. The boss asked, "Why are you late again?" ”

The employee said, "It's a day to be late, and it's a day not to be late, so why not be late?" ”

The boss's eyes lit up, and he was fired from the mouth. . .

1. If you get up before 7 o'clock in the morning, you will be fined 200 yuan, which will affect the rest of others.

2. A fine of 50 yuan for not sleeping at work, a combination of work and rest that you don't understand.

3. A fine of 20 yuan for not being late for work and not leaving early is not a good use of working time.

4. A fine of 100 yuan for not being absent from work for three consecutive days is a serious violation of attendance discipline.

5. The fine of 100 yuan for working hard and not saying a word at work is that the reason is that you do not pay attention to the exchange of work experience.

6. A fine of 30 yuan will be imposed for not answering the call during the meeting, because the spirit of the meeting cannot be conveyed in a timely manner.

7. A fine of 200 yuan for frequent overtime work is due to the failure to complete the work on time.

8. A fine of 50 yuan for wearing a work permit will expose your identity.

9. A fine of 50 yuan for wearing work clothes is too impersonal.

10. A fine of 20 yuan for not talking about QQ at work is that it cannot develop foreign relations at a cumulative level.

11. A fine of 50 yuan for not bringing a mobile phone during work is that it does not support China's communications industry.

12. The fine for queuing up for dinner is 50 yuan, and there is no sense of competition.

<>1, this morning, the boss called ** to me, and as soon as he opened his mouth, he roared: "Where are you?" I was supposed to go to work at 8 o'clock, you see it's half past 8 now! ”

I'm sitting in my office. ”

LessTM loading! I'm standing in your office! ”

Oh, sorry, I forgot to tell you I have a new job. ”

2. Boss: Xiao Zhang, Xiao Li has resigned, and you have done his job.

Xiao Zhang: Is there a salary increase?

Boss: No.

Xiao Zhang: You think I'm Liby, don't increase the price!

3. When I arrived at the office in the morning, a male colleague said to his favorite female colleague with bad intentions: Alas! Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, how can you spend Valentine's Day without a Valentine!

The female colleague threw a roll of her eyes: This is going to be the Qingming Festival, there is no dead person in your family, is it difficult to kill now?!

4. The company is recruiting for a position, and one person comes to apply.

Boss: "We need a responsible person for this job. ”

Candidate: "I'm the person you want." When I used to work, every time something happened, other people would say it was my responsibility! ”

5. There is a little chubby girl in the company who is very cute, my brother often teases her, once she came to pick up water, pretended to be gentle with a cup and said: Come, Lang, take medicine

I smiled and said: If Pan Jinlian is the same figure as you, it is estimated that Ximenqing will not hook up

Don't say it, my face hurts!

6. Leader: "What major did you study in college?" ”

Xiao Ming: "Funeral management." ”

Leader: "Good, good. ”

Xiao Ming: "Leader, do you need help with anything?" ”

Leader: "No, no. ”

7. To resign, the leader said: "Good birds choose trees to perch".

Leader: "I mean, feel good about yourself and go."

8. When I was watching an American drama while working overtime, I was discovered by the boss, and the boss came over and asked, "Do you use the company's electricity and give money?" ”

I asked, "Did you make me work overtime and give me money?" ”

The boss dog jumped over the wall in a hurry, spoiling all the subsequent seasons.

9. When I went out to dinner with the boss today, the boss instructed me in advance: "No matter how many people there are, just order 9 dishes." ”

I asked my boss, "Why only 9?" ”

10. "You studied journalism, right?" ”

Yes, boss. ”

Very well, you can go to the communication room and get me a newspaper. ”

11. Boss: "You are studying accounting".

Me: "Yes, yes".

Boss: "Okay, I have a little financial problem, you can help solve it." ”

Me: "Just tell me what you want, and I'll do my best." ”

Boss: "Lend me 5,000 yuan." ”

12. The boss of a medical company: "Are you a medical graduate?" ”

Me: "Yes. ”

Boss: "Okay, go and help me get a number." ”

13. Boss: "I remember that you are an automation professional, right?" ”

Me: "Yes, boss. ”

Boss: "Very good, go and help me charge my phone." ”