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Is it because the child returned to his ex-wife, and he wants to see the child, so he spends the New Year with them? Did you know about this before? Did he hide it from you?
If it is normal to accompany the child, you don't need to be angry, since you choose to live with a divorced man, you should be psychologically prepared in advance, he can't be a stranger to his ex-wife and children, if he really treats his children like this, will such a man be reliable? He can do this to his ex-wife and children, and he may do this to you one day.
You just need to be sure that his heart is with you now, so why bother with other things? On the contrary, it will affect your mood for the New Year, and also destroy the relationship between husband and wife, you can change your mind, the happier you are, the more correct his choice will be, otherwise he will be unhappy with you, and he will miss his ex-wife even more, right?
Be a smart woman.
ps: Life is short, the real life is only a few decades, and many things look back, it's really not a big deal, but I couldn't think about it at the time.
Happy Year of the Rabbit!!
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If his reasons are good enough, there is no other meaning, just to reunite with the family, then you should be tolerant, if you lose your temper at this time, your husband thinks you are ignorant, but you can pretend to be angry, pretend to be pitiful, and let him compensate you, which is smarter, since he is married to you, it means that he loves you, but you can't organize him to see the child, but you have to pretend to be very generous, and he will love you more.
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Summary. Dear, the teacher thinks that your husband took the child over and didn't inform you, which is a bit disrespectful to others, and it is understandable that you are angry.
My husband never informed me when he wanted to pick up his ex-wife's children back. Is that right? Is it wrong for me to be angry?
Dear, the teacher thinks that your husband took the child over and didn't inform you, which is a bit disrespectful to others, and it is understandable that you are angry.
I'm married for the second time. My husband and ex-wife have a child. Every time he brought the child back to live with the rent ruined son. Never consulted with me. Nor do they pass through the sails to know me. I'm the last to know.
I can understand you today. Your husband doesn't seem to care too much about your feelings. You're angry, and he probably doesn't care very much either.
The teacher believes this, you should have told your husband, but he may not have listened to your advice and still went his own way.
I wonder if your husband will ask for your opinion on other things? I'll discuss anything with you.
I just lifted a sock for the potato today. Ask him to discuss it with me before he picks up the kid every time. Learning to do math will respect people. He said I was making a big fuss. Why should I have to ask for my consent when the child comes back for a few days? I was angry.
Why do we need your consent? This sentence shows that he thinks that he can let the child come whenever he wants, and you are not qualified to control him.
He would discuss everything else with me and talk to me.
The teacher felt that he said this, as if everything in the house was his, and you had no share.
Only children's problems.
Then you probably don't have any children in common, right?
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You have to learn to accept that child and not be jealous.
The real husband and wife are to integrate into each other's families, and then have a common goal and wish, so that they can live a good life, you don't see the child as a family now, or always treat yourself as an outsider, that is, not the same heart, and the husband and wife are not the same, how can the family be harmonious, and how can the relationship be stable?
A woman who really wants to live may not be as sincere and enthusiastic as her own children, but she will definitely try to accept the other party's children.
At all times, the child is innocent, and strictly speaking, the child is also a victim, because the choices of adults also indirectly hurt him. Even if it is not really accepted, even if there is a little sympathy in the heart, there will be no such great jealousy towards the child.
As the pillar of a family, especially in a second marriage, a man has to bear a lot of things and has no choice. People's hearts are flesh and blood, if you want to get the other party's sincerity, you must first pay your own sincerity, if you are good to the child, your husband will also feel sorry for you, and care more about you and the child.
Women should also be jealous, after all, what woman doesn't want to be accompanied by her beloved man? What woman doesn't want her child to get her husband's complete love, but the reality is that it is destined to be impossible, after all, it is also his child, if he is really indifferent to that child, you have to worry about whether this man is really reliable.
For second-married couples, children are indeed a big problem, and if you can't accept that child, then it is likely to bring a lot of unnecessary conflicts between your husband and wife. But this contradiction is not unchangeable, just depending on whether the two parties want to or not, just like the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, all fate arises because of men, so men play a balanced role in the middle. Unless a woman is really selfish, love is the best strength in the world.
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What do you have to do with a child, although he was not born to you, but after you and your husband get married, he will be your child, what you have to do is to let the child agree with you, not care about who is important to you and him in your husband's heart. If you want to maintain a harmonious family relationship with your husband, you must treat the child as your own, not for the sake of the child, but for the sake of your husband.
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Normal, right? No matter how you say that your ex-wife's child is also his biological flesh and blood, and from your expression, "my child" means that this child is not your child, but you gave birth to someone else, so there is no reason to blame him.
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Suggested subjectTalk openly and honestly to your husband, he may just not notice his partiality, but he still loves it in his heart, after all, they are all his own flesh and blood.
HisUnintentional eccentricity practicesIt may have affected your relationship, but this does not mean that he loves his ex-wife's children more, and the subject must understand your husband's inner thoughts.
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I think you can be generous with this, after all, the ex-wife's children are a bit awkward in this family, and you should understand.
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You have to be kind to your children.
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In fact, this problem does not need to be too entangled, if your husband is good to both children, then it will be fine, sometimes a little favoritism, it is normal.
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Men will always have deeper feelings for their first child, but you have to treat both children equally, and the child you raise has a good relationship with you, which is the same as your own child.
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Usually let your children contact your husband more often, so that they have deep feelings, you can't force this kind of thing, after all, your ex-wife's children are also your husband's children.
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I think you should tell him that you don't like him like this, maybe he doesn't realize the problem himself, and you need to wake him up.
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You should learn to understand your husband, emotionally speaking, there is no problem at all.
People have biases in their hearts, and what they can't eat is the best, probably because the ex-wife's children are less maternal than your children, so your husband wants to give him more fatherly love, and your husband wants to be balanced, which does not mean that he doesn't care about you, you should understand more.
There will inevitably be a deviation in people's emotions, since you accept this man, then you should learn to accept everything about this man you love. At the same time, you should pay more attention to your children, if your husband is really too obvious, you should find out in time whether your children have suffered any psychological harm, and you should give your children what your husband did not give to your children.
Don't quarrel with your husband over this matter, and don't stay silent and indifferent for a long time after a quarrel. You can sit down and talk about anything, you can find a calm time to talk about this problem carefully with your old man, emotional eccentricity can be allowed, but not too much, after all, both are their own children, too much will only hurt the other.
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I think it's best to discuss it with your husband in this matter, open up the conversation, rather than bear it alone, and it's best to communicate with your husband about a good solution, after all, children are very sensitive when they are young, whether it is your children or the children of your husband's ex-wife.
First of all, the child is innocent, whether it is for your children or the children of your husband's ex-wife, although your husband's children have experienced the divorce of the family, but if he is treated specially, it will not only make his character problematic, but also your children will have psychological defects over time, he may think that his father does not love him such thoughts, so that the two children can not grow up correctly.
Secondly, when you ask this question, you can see that you have a lot of guilt in your heart, and in the long run, you and your husband will have an emotional crisis because of the problem of the child, and in serious cases, it will even lead to the breakdown of the family again. Therefore, you need to communicate with your husband in a timely manner, and you can't wait until the conflict arises to regret it.
In the end, your husband will think that his marriage has failed and affected the child, so he wants to compensate for the child too much, but what the child wants most is a complete home, as long as you can seriously play the role of the child's mother, I believe that your husband will also see it, and the child will also let go of the divorce of his parents and integrate into the family.
To sum up, the best solution in this case is to communicate with the husband and wife, all in the direction of the family's harmony, and it is best to treat them fairly in front of the two children, which can not only make your husband's ex-wife's children come out of the shadows and integrate into the family, but also make your children love their father more.
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Analyze calmly, and then have a good talk with your husband, children are very sensitive, if children find that father's love is biased, the impact on children will be a lifetime, and now many adults commit crimes, which can be traced back to the shadow of childhood.
Calm analysis is that you have to figure out whether it is true that you think your husband is better to my ex-wife's children than my children. First of all, there is nothing wrong with him loving his children. Of course, your children are also his children.
Secondly, your feelings should be motivated by jealousy of his ex-wife, rather than an objective and impartial judgment.
It's possible that you're worrying about nothing. If, after a calm analysis, you find that your husband is better to your ex-wife's children than yours, then you need to find an opportunity to talk to him. I feel your pain.
It was as if I saw a mother, holding her child's hand, standing anxiously in place, crying and shouting: What to do!
First of all, the ex-wife's child was born to your husband, which is a fact and cannot be changed. It is only natural for your husband to be kind to his children. Secondly, there is no harm if there is no comparison, and if you compare, you will find that the damage is right?
But where did those comparisons, those mental imbalances, come about? Did you bring it from your last relationship? Is it caused by some gossip from others?
As a mother, and a mother who is married for the second time, I think there are some issues that need to be thought through. When you got married, did you get married because the two loved each other, or did you marry the father of a child? If you didn't get married, would you be able to take care of your children?
Have you carried over the emotional scene of the previous couple into this paragraph?
If this husband can't love your children as much as you do, and there is no way to change them after repeated communication, I think you can divorce for your own good and for the good of your children.
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I feel that what you have to do now is to fully communicate with your husband and tell him what you think, the more specific the better. Let him know that his focus should be on you now, let him gradually develop the independence and strong heart of his 11-year-old, and let him be a good liaison between you and that child. You and that child are like you and your mother-in-law, and your husband has to take care of them.
So you also have to take care of your husband's feelings. You can take the initiative to get close to that child and slowly cultivate affection, instead of competing for favor like a child.
The child is vulnerable, and your husband's heart for the child is not just an ordinary father and son, which is mixed with your husband's guilt, so you are too spoiled and favorited, and you may also worry that you can't give him enough love. You may not show enough love for your children, even if you are wronged, you have no regrets, when you become the weak party because you love your children, your husband's family guilt will appear again, and you will reconsider whether you are too spoiled for your children, and then you will discuss the question of how to love your children.
For getting along with the child, the only difference between the stepmother and the mother is in the "after", there are different ages for different ages, and it is easier to do it before school, as long as you don't stop her from seeing her mother, and slowly let him integrate into your life; School-age children, especially in the rebellious period, may not be easy to manage, and their own mothers may not be able to manage them well, and the pressure on stepmothers may also be great.
And the child basically has his own consciousness, most of the time in school, just take care of his life, must not have too many conflicts, as much as possible through the father to let the child understand what happened between the parents, it is best to have a happy ending, so that the child will not feel that this is a bad decision, but a happy decision for everyone.
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