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The lessons I've learned are:1Never give unconditionally, never be a licking dog.
If you do licking the dog, in the end, you will find: lick the dog lick the dog, licking to the end will really leave you with no money and nothing. This is the most important one.
2.In love, you have to find ways to be the party who has the initiative, you must not be passive everywhere, therefore, you must control the rhythm of loving a person, you don't give all your love to each other and forget to love yourself, from another point of view, you love yourself a lot, in fact, it is also a manifestation of loving each other, isn't it? So there is such a saying:
Don't be too full of lovers, be careful to lose badly! 3.In love, you must not be half-hearted, stepping on two boats or even three boats, this is a very irresponsible behavior, if the other party finds out, it often means the end of a relationship, even if the other party still loves you, and forgive you, but there will always be a hurdle in the hearts of both parties, and it is impossible to return to the original feeling.
So, loyalty is important for men and women who really want to be in a relationship. Only by being loyal to each other can we trust each other, and this relationship between the two parties may have a good result, and in the end it will blossom and have a happy ending. That's what I've learned from failed relationships.
I hope it will help my boyfriends and girlfriends who are in love.
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The only way to get out of a failed relationship is to leave it to time. The difference is only in the length of this period.
If you want to get out as soon as possible, you can remember these three points: don't indulge, don't ask, and don't idle.
1. Don't indulge, that is, don't always let your emotions get caught up in the emotions of the past.
If you can't get out of your emotions all the time, then every grass and tree in front of you can cause you infinite sadness.
Some people think that they can get out of that failed relationship by leaving the sad place, but in fact, if you are still dwelling on the emotions of the past, you still can't get out. The world is so big, it is nothing more than a combination of men and women, as long as you still have the past in your heart, the mountains and rivers are far and wide, and all of them are not him (her).
It's hard to control your emotions, but it's not impossible. Being a human being is nothing more than a little more reason. As the last sentence of "Gone with the Wind":
Tomorrow is a new day", believe that there is still a lot of beauty waiting for you in the future, and you may have more courage not to indulge.
You can also read "Alive" to see how Fugui survived the unbearable blows in his life one after another, and still lived strongly. Compared with your own emotional setbacks, you may feel that you are still lucky, and the past is always light.
2. Don't ask questions and don't look for the reasons for the failure of the relationship.
There are always some people who have experienced emotional failures, and they will ask the sky again and again speechlessly: Why me? What exactly am I doing wrong?
As everyone knows, as Zhang Ailing said: "Love is not asking whether it is worth it or not", in the same way, not love is all the reasons and the result. If you are still entangled in what you have done wrong and caused emotional failure, it is equivalent to doing an unsolvable math problem, no matter how accurate your calculations and rigorous deductions are, in the end you still can't find the answer, wasting time in vain and adding trouble.
Love that can find a reason is not true love, so how can you possibly find a reason not to love?
A relationship is over, there is no one right or wrong, let go of yourself, let go of others, in order to really get out of the emotional wound.
3. Fill your time with work or hobbies.
I have to admit that when people are idle, they are prone to cranky thinking. You will find that the rural people who work at sunrise and rest at sunset, although they are very tired, most of them are very contented and happy, because they have no time to think about other things, and after a hard day's work, they can eat a mouthful of hot rice, drink a mouthful of hot soup, and be able to lie down and rest, they are already very grateful.
People who are tired of making a living, how can they have the leisure to be sad and sad?
Therefore, when you give yourself to work, you often feel that time has passed all of a sudden, and you may be able to feel the pure happiness of the farmer.
If you don't have to work, then you can divide your time between sports or reading.
Exercise itself produces dopamine and endorphins that make you happy, which is very conducive to the elimination of bad moods. Reading, on the other hand, allows you to see all kinds of life, and your mood is broadened, quiet and relieved.
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Profound experience:
Learn routines. <>
Don't treat lovers as relatives.
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Love yourself well, you can't invest too much love, it's really important to meet the right person.
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I haven't failed because I've never been in a relationship.
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Dear, I have summarized the following lessons from my own experience in love.
1. Don't put labels; After falling out of love, we are likely to unconsciously label ourselves, many people immediately put a label on themselves after falling out of love, I am terrible, I don't deserve to be loved such a label, sometimes the real pain after falling out of love does not come from falling out of love, but from the bad label that I put up. When we put such a label on ourselves, most of the hearts are hopeless, so it is a very important thing to tear off the unreasonable label for ourselves.
2. Breaking up is not the same as being abandoned; Only children will experience the feeling of abandonment, as an adult, there is no question of who abandons whom, because children can not survive without their mothers, but adults can still live well after another person leaves, so there is no problem of who abandons whom in adult relationships. There is a very practical saying that only those who love themselves can gain the love of others.
3. We are always unwilling after the failure of love; Perhaps your unwillingness comes from a narcissistic damage that you can't bear. (Narcissistic damage refers to the fact that we think I should be loved by everyone, and the person I like must like me so that I can be valuable) After falling out of love, the other party left, and you were unwilling to redeem it in various ways, but this does not mean how much you love each other, but more to maintain your narcissism.
4. Good love must be mutually nourishing and comfortable to get along with; When you feel deeply consumed in love, maybe there is something wrong with your relationship, if you feel a lot of consumption in the relationship, maybe breaking up is also a good choice, a really good love must be mutually nourishing and very comfortable to get along with.
5. Breaking up is just an option; Everyone is here to walk with you for a while, and some people go their separate ways as they walk! But don't be discouraged, the next stop, we will all meet a destined person, the initial two people are attracted to each other and come together, in the process of getting along with the two people, they feel that a certain aspect is not compatible, and the breakup becomes a natural choice, just means that the two people are not suitable to continue walking.
The last thing I want to say is that both boys and girls remember one sentence.
Loving yourself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
Have a great day
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1. Don't think that you can save a fallen lover, and the reason why sacrificing yourself will know that the other party is still deceived is because I expect the other party to change for me, thinking that love can make him change. But a lot of times, it's just a luxury.
2. Don't deceive yourself, waste your feelings in vain Whether he loves you or not, in fact, you know very well in your heart. In fact, you know very well in your own heart that you don't need to do some superfluous things to prove it. When he doesn't love you, it's not that you don't know, it's just that sometimes you choose to lie to yourself that he loves you very much.
3. Don't live in your own emotional world and can't extricate yourself, for breaking up, it will be better to be free and easy. It's enough to be sad about breaking up once, don't keep holding on to the memories and be reluctant, the only one who may be reluctant is you, and the other party is living a very chic life. There's no need to spend more time in your memories than your relationship.
4. Don't fall in love with people who don't have the same three views and negative energy, and it's very important to fall in love with a person who has the same three views. If two people can't even agree on the three views, they can't talk together, they quarrel every minute after talking about two sentences, and no one is convinced by anyone in their bones. Over time, it feels like it will be more and more noisy, and no one is really at fault, but it causes both people to be miserable.
The people you spend a lot with will influence you, let alone the people you have an intimate relationship with. Falling in love with someone who is self-motivated can drive you forward. Falling in love with someone who is full of negative energy will only make you more and more sad.
5. Make yourself better, and wait for you to be better later, so that it is easier to meet excellent people. The same people are more likely to attract each other, when you want your other half to reach a certain height, please make yourself excellent first, and you can naturally meet the degree. While you're dwelling on your last failed relationship, remember that better people are waiting for you.
If you don't come out for a long time, you'll never meet a better person. When you meet him, you will find that you deserve someone better to love you.
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Hello. How to say, I have experienced three failed relationships, and the lessons I have summarized are as follows.
1.Can't talk to girls frequently, I've known each other for two months, and I chatted every day on WeChat**, and there is no new chat every day, which is easy to make people tired, and a chat every few days can increase each other's freshness.
2.Don't be condescending to help, it's easy to make the other party stressed. I just got divorced, and when I needed help the most with a child, I didn't care about the other party's feelings and spent money to buy this and that, and even spent more than 2,000 to buy a set of cosmetics, which was completely self-acting.
3.When the other party didn't tell you in person that it was inappropriate, don't ask the other party if you heard about it, since the other party didn't say it, and you heard it again, it means that you still have a chance to redeem it, and you ask it face to face, and you don't even have a chance to get along.
4.I am thin and small, with a height of only 160, so I must pay attention to what I wear in the future. Girls are very concerned about how they feel for the first time.
5.Only one party pays. It's that I paid for the other party, I feel very happy, whether the other party gives back, I am very happy, I only pay attention to the current feelings, and I don't have any expectations for the future. Such people are undoubtedly the happiest people who live.
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Women, no matter how sweet love they encounter, must remain independent, the so-called independence refers to personality independence, spiritual independence, and economic independence, only learn to be independent, you can live a true, beautiful, more like yourself, only independence, you don't have to be afraid of others being restrained, you won't be afraid of disappointment, and you don't have to be humble to the dust.
When a man loves you, he will say "I raised you", and when he doesn't love you, he will say: "I raised you". So, the premise of "I raise you" is that the man's love for you is still there and he has enough patience with you.
Don't believe in promises, there is a saying before: "Promises are all about not having faith in the present!" "Some men will work hard for the sake of their commitment to you, while some men will make a commitment to give you peace of mind.
Never look for a man who "talks too much and does too little", for women, action is always more important than sweet words, it can better judge whether a person is worth relying on.
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There are mainly these aspects, properly handled is conducive to the deepening of emotions, unreasonable handling may be a relationship will break down, some truths can only be understood after failure and hurt, and some people will always know to cherish after leaving. The past follows the wind, and the memories that float away will always float back one day, but after a reincarnation, it has long been a matter of things and people. It is not easy to get along in a love relationship, a lasting and beautiful relationship is really not easy, it takes two people to constantly run in, communicate and understand each other, love is not the ups and downs of a person, nor is it the separation of two people, after experiencing failure, you will find that love is just a joys and sorrows, you must know that the pay and return in love are not equal, do not expect to get how high you are, blindly set standards for the other half, each relationship has its own definition, Standards will only make themselves more suspicious of the value of the existence of feelings, will only give birth to nothing more than incidents, love but also empathy, we are always arrogant that we think we are right, but we don't know that it is ourselves, our own ideas are imposed on others, do not stand in the other party's point of view to see the problem, you must know that everyone's thoughts and attitudes are different, even the closest two people are the same, you think it is right, others may not think so, this is determined by everyone's character, do not force consistency, There are some words that should not be said easily, no matter what the situation, hurtful words still need to be said less, maybe it is an unintentional mistake, maybe it is angry, although the mouth is happy, but the guilt and trauma in the heart are difficult to heal, so be cautious.
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Learn to be emotionally independent. Don't fall in love with the mentality of certain success, but get along with another person with the attitude of learning and practicing, and learn emotional independence through repeated practice. Anyone has to mature themselves before they can manage a mature relationship.
The signs of maturity are economic independence, spiritual independence, and emotional independence.
People with different views are really not suitable for being together, even if they love each other very deeply, they are very tormented by each other after being together for a long time, they know that they love him very much, and they are reluctant to leave him, but the life of loving and killing each other is really not suitable for lovers at all. >>>More
My girlfriend told you that it was raining so hard today, so you said remember to bring an umbrella. Your girlfriend told you that you were tired from working overtime today, so you said to pay attention to rest. Isn't this an obvious awkward conversation, I know very well that boys care about girls more directly and rudely, but you also have to take care of other people's emotions. >>>More
The whole lake turned red (it was blood), and a hand was stretched out from the lake, and the girl's feet were grabbed, and she was pulled into the lake, and then, 100 kilometers away from the forest, the girl's body and clothes were found, but her head was missing, and the people opened her backpack and were frightened, and the bag was her head, and her expression was very painful, and the people who found her had abandoned her body in the forest, and then left, and since then, no one has dared to go to that forest. If you read this post, please reply to the post immediately, and click "Bodhisattva bless", and then post this in another bar **3 copies, if not, that hand will be stretched out when you take a bath, and you will end up with that girl! To believe that everything is true Bodhisattva Blessing Bodhisattva Blessing Bodhisattva Blessing.
From the relationship between my college roommates, I learned not to be too attentive to others, just click on it, don't always be stupid to give everything you have to each other, and leave room for it. There is also the difference in the three views, don't go together, you have to have your own ideas.
It is normal to have a certain interest relationship in marriage, after all, it is a family formed by two different families, and all parties have spent a lot of energy and time for this family, as well as money, so as long as they consider each other and coordinate their interests, this marriage will be very happy.