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I advise you to calm down first, don't worry. After 12 years of relationship, you still don't give up on each other, which shows that your relationship foundation is very solid. You've already introduced that you're about to get married, and because something unexpected didn't happen, that's why you're so anxious.
I think it's going to take time to figure it out. There is an accident in the man's family, so that you cannot get married. It's right that your boyfriend can't go against the family in this situation, and if you have to get married under such a sensitive situation, you won't be happy.
Even if their family finds another girl for your boyfriend, you can't introduce it today and get married tomorrow, right?! To make a roundabout, it is also a time to test your relationship, you have to be firm that your relationship does not fluctuate, and you are not a boyfriend and do not marry. You're taking the time to get his family's affirmation of you.
These are your attitudes, then your boyfriend will know what to do and how to do it. It's been 12 years anyway, and you're waiting 2 more years (it's not nice to say, even if you break up now, you won't get married in 2 years......You still have to love your boyfriend as always, care about his family, and you will be happy in the end!!
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Stealing the household register. Learn from Yang Xiaoyun and to the south. Chop first, then play.
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12 years of relationship is really difficult to let go, I think since he has special circumstances in his family can not agree to you, simply letting go is also a kind of love, love him and let him go, don't let him be embarrassed in the middle, if there is fate will come together!
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Why have you been in love for 12 years and only now got married? In fact, love should not be too marathon, and it is not good. A year or two will do.
Now the problem is troublesome, after all, the two have been in love for 12 years, the relationship is deep, and the age is estimated to be not young, especially girls, there are not so many years of delay.
I think as long as you and your boyfriend are willing, you two will go to get the certificate first, anyway, his parents have acquiesced, although not too willing, after all, it is not easy to meet someone you love and love yourself, **There are so many 12 years to find the next relationship, personal opinion, personal opinion.
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The solution to the marriage that the man's parents oppose:
Method. 1. Be a nominal ordinary friend first.
Don't easily choose to break up or break up because of the opposition of your family, it's not easy for two people to meet and know each other in the vast sea of people. You have to tell him firmly that even if your family doesn't agree, I'm going to be friends with you.
Method. 2. Change the way you chat.
Don't keep asking him what to do and how to solve it. Learn to be a confiding friend, calm his heart, maintain an optimistic attitude, and try to help him solve some small troubles.
At the same time, when you grow, you also give the other person a space to grow, the relationship between the two will become better, and he will slowly grow in this space and become more and more complete.
Method. 3. See each other often, but with appropriate physical contact.
You can come out more often to meet together, go to places that can bring back your good memories, so as to achieve further emotional warming. But one thing to note is that when the other person asks for group contact with you, you just need to "drop the water".
Method. Fourth, learn to show weakness appropriately.
Some small things in life can be appropriately weak, so that the other party is invested in care and consideration for you.
You should also lead the other party to invest in you, you can buy some small gifts from time to time, and he will be touched, maybe there will be an unexpected return another day. This will touch your love growth even more.
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I think that if the two of you really love each other, then you should face this problem together, and the girl should take the initiative to please the man's parents and make them accept you.
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A marriage that is opposed by parents is indeed not good. For parents to bless, they must be shown evidence that they are reassured. For example, one of the parties is trying to change itself.
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Since it is a marriage that the man's parents oppose, it may be that the woman is dissatisfied with some aspects. In fact, as a man's parents, don't ask the woman too much, as long as their son and daughter-in-law have a good relationship and can stay together for a lifetime, they should bless them.
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If the parents of both parents oppose a relationship, it is very difficult, if the man's parents are opposed, well, let the man do the work of the parents, otherwise the marriage will be difficult to last.
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The marriage that the man's parents oppose, they may think that this girl is not a good match, then I think if you really forcibly marry the past, there will be no good result, the in-laws will look down on you, and it will not make much sense to marry.
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According to your description, such a marriage will not last long, because a marriage that is not recognized by your family will not last long, and it is recommended that you explain the situation to your family before proceeding to the next step.
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Marriage is my own business, if I really like each other, then I can have in-depth communication with my parents and give them a sense of security. Parents will oppose it for their own reasons, so as long as these things are made clear, I don't think parents will object.
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This is related to the marriage that the parents are opposed, and we should try our best to negotiate and communicate with them. Let them know that the two of you truly love each other. And let them accept your love.
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If the man's parents object, it depends on what the man thinks, just like Zhang Jiani and Mai Chao, the man's parents disagree, the man doesn't care about his parents' thoughts at all, and the woman also has enough financial ability, I think the most important thing is to look at the man's thoughts.
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I think you need to communicate well with the man, and at the same time, the man needs to take his due responsibility.
First of all, I don't recommend that parents interfere too much in their feelings, after all, everyone's life belongs to you, you are married to the man, not to the man's parents, which means that you need to fully defend your position, and there is no need to affect the relationship between you because of the problems of your parents.
Secondly, I think the man needs to take his due responsibility, at least like a man, he can't listen to his parents in everything, otherwise he will be like a mother. If a woman is with such a man, I think it is a woman's sorrow, because such a woman will be very hard, and the man will not defend his rights and interests. <>
First, you need to communicate carefully with the man.
Regarding the issue of communication, you need to make the man at least have an attitude. Regardless of what the man's parents think of your relationship, the man needs to at least evaluate your relationship and be responsible for the girl. There will be a lot of mom and baby men in life, and they need their parents to provide food, clothing, housing and transportation, and even after marriage, they need their parents to come nearby.
Because of this, they do not have any say in the family, they hear their parents in everything, and they have no sense of responsibility. If you are with such a man, I advise you to withdraw as soon as possible, because your marriage will be unhappy. <>
Second, you can also communicate with the man's parents.
As a girl and a future daughter-in-law, if you are asked to communicate directly with the man's parents, you need to have a lot of courage. If you really want to be with the other person, I suggest that you seriously evaluate your conflict with the man's parents and think about why the man's parents would oppose your marriage. If the problem lies with you, you need to adjust yourself in time.
If the cause of the problem is a misunderstanding, it can also be eliminated in this way. <>
In the end, in any case, the problem of feelings belongs to the two of you, not to both parents, and I advise you to take responsibility for your feelings.
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The relationship that the man's parents oppose, I think it's better to give up. Marriage is not only about living with your boyfriend, but also about his family, and if you can't accept you in the first place, life after marriage will not be easy.
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You should stick to it, your parents will oppose it because they have many differences from your own concepts, and you also need to contact your parents, and you will agree in the end.
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You should break up right away. Because your parents are for your good, and your parents are from the past, you know that the two of you will not be happy.
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You should break up with each other immediately, because the other party's parents don't like you, and even if you marry the other party, your future life will not be particularly comfortable.
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There is no mistake in feelings, feelings need to be borne by the man, as long as the boy likes himself and believes in himself, you also believe that his love is beautiful!
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If your parents are against your relationship, but if your boyfriend has strong beliefs about you, you can tell them that you are determined to support you in the end. Trust your feelings.
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If the parents do not agree to the marriage, whether it is happy or not depends on the situation.
A large proportion of marriages in which parents do not agree will not be happy, generally for the following reasons:
1.Parents do not agree to this marriage because the other party has points that make the parents dissatisfied, such as unenterprising, lazy, other bad habits, poor economy, etc., if the parents are smart parents who can look at people, and the parents have a lot of life experience, these special spinal wax do exist in this person, then these traits are really likely to be a time bomb in your future marriage. The opposition of the parents, the disgusted party will have a high probability of hatred in his heart, and it is difficult to treat his parents sincerely after marriage, which will definitely affect the relationship between the husband and wife.
2.Love is a matter of two people, marriage is a matter of two families, if one of the parents does not agree to this marriage, the two families will easily get along in the future. The parents of one party who dislike it usually show dislike and dissatisfaction in the interaction between the two families, and the disliked party will definitely feel uncomfortable because of the parents and themselves are disliked, which will inevitably affect the relationship between the two families, and it is difficult for both husband and wife not to be affected by their parents, after all, they and their parents are blood relations and are natural wholes.
3.Because your parents do not agree with this marriage, when you need your parents' help after marriage, your parents may feel that if you don't listen to you at the beginning, it is very likely that they will not help you or help you wholeheartedly, and you will not get the support of your parents in your heart, which will also affect your happiness.
4.Because the other party is disliked by his parents, the other party's self-esteem is very strong, and he may make a note from this. If he is not developed, it is okay, you can still live a stable life, if he is developed, he may choose someone else again, because when he sees your parents, he will think of the self who was once disliked, why not just start over?
Of course, marriages that parents don't agree with are not all unhappy. The parents do not agree to the marriage, and the subsequent happiness situation generally has the following characteristics:
1.The points that parents disagree with are only temporary, and you can get better through hard work, and your other half is also trying to get better. For example, your parents dislike your other half for not having a good economy, but your other half is very hard-working, has strong learning ability, and has opportunities, and the economy will improve in the near future.
2.Your parents are not very good at seeing people and are short-sighted. Your parents look at people very superficially, for example, to see if the other party is very tall, handsome, and sweet in mouth, but your object is a standard straight man or straight woman, ordinary in appearance, but very good on the inside, and other aspects are also very compatible with you.
This kind of circle does not mean that you can't listen to your parents, stick to your own choices, live your own life, and be happy in the future, your parents will see it. When your parents see that you are happy, they will most likely shut up.
3.The other party has a good character and a tolerant personality. Although your parents are against it, he is understanding and tolerant, and he tries to be himself, so that you can show your parents that you are happy after marriage, then he can bring you happiness.
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1.The opposition of parents represents the voice of the child to a certain extent.
Love is blind, and people in love are often less transparent than bystanders. There are some problems that can be seen at a glance by bystanders, but the parties cover their eyes and deceive themselves.
Truth be told, parents' thoughts and ideas are old, but old doesn't mean bad. In any case, our parents are the ones who know us. They know our character, temperament, preferences, strengths and weaknesses, and what is the right person for us.
At critical times, they reveal the truth that we deceive ourselves with our blindfolds.
A relationship that is strongly opposed by parents will not be happy after marriage.
Just as many children are angry at their parents' objections, not because they said it wrong, but because they said something they didn't want to admit. From a psychological point of view, parents say why their children want to separate.
2.Parental opposition forces the child to make the opposite choice.
There is a well-known effect in psychology: the Romeo and Juliet effect. This means that when the love of both parties is disturbed by external circumstances, the feelings for each other will be stronger and the relationship will be more reliable.
According to the analysis of psychologists, there are roughly two reasons for this. The first has to do with freedom of choice and love for choosing objects. Experiments by social psychologist Braham confirm that when the choice is voluntary, individuals tend to increase their affection for the object of choice.
When the choice is forced, reduce the liking for the chosen object.
A relationship that is strongly opposed by parents will not be happy after marriage.
That is, when both parties are forced to make a certain choice, they will prefer the object of their choice. For example, the more parents oppose the relationship, the more high-profile the child will be and the more they want to be together.
The second is explained from the perspective of maintaining cognitive balance. Everyone wants to be independent, they want to be respected by others, and they don't want to be a puppet who is controlled by chaos. When other people's ideas are imposed on them, they develop a rebellious mentality.
Causes them to reject what they choose passively and like what they choose actively. To put it simply, parental opposition does not diminish their feelings for something and someone, but rather fuels their obsession. Simply put, the more you don't want me to do it, the more I want to do it.
Parents oppose a certain relationship with their children for the sake of their children's good. But kids hate the feeling of being controlled. In order to rebel against their parents, they must be together, even if they don't like it very much.
A relationship that is strongly opposed by parents will not be happy after marriage.
Therefore, there is a problem that parents should be aware of. When you disagree with your child's trembling marriage partner, don't strongly disagree, stand on the opposite side of the child, but understand it with feelings. I also want my children to understand that when you have to marry someone your parents oppose, is it because you love the other person or are you rebelling against your parents?
Any decision is a combination of factors;
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You should ask him what he thinks.
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I have to get a divorce, but the child is not guilty... Alas, tragedy, you must choose a partner carefully.
As long as it is you approve, you agree, and you like, you must insist on your own opinions, because love is a matter of the two of you, not the filial piety of your parents, you have to live with your lover for a lifetime, so the right is in your own hands, don't be swayed by others.