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Actually, think about it from another perspective, go back to the mother-in-law's house, the mother-in-law asked the son-in-law to do something, but the son-in-law immediately instructed her daughter to do it, you say, the mother-in-law will like this son-in-law? This woman is really too low in emotional intelligence.
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Some women are hypocritical, go to their mother-in-law's house and quarrel with their mother-in-law, don't let you go and are not happy, what to do is wrong, and some want to bring the other half to their parents' house, and as a result, every year they quarrel with their mother-in-law's house or to their mother's house.
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So since it is the son who celebrates the New Year with his mother, the question is, shouldn't his son go back by himself? After all, I didn't stay with my mother when I went back.
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This mother-in-law is very selfish, she doesn't care about her daughter-in-law's feelings, she is blindly stubborn, you should discuss it with your husband and go home for the New Year this year.
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I think my mother-in-law also has her reasons for doing this, in order to prevent conflicts with her daughter-in-law, my mother-in-law made this decision, talk with my mother-in-law together, solve the conflict between the two, understand each other, and live a much better life!
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I feel that this is just a kind of excuse for the mother-in-law to go home, in fact, sometimes you need to sit down and talk about it, whether the mother-in-law herself has an opinion on you, if so, you should actively correct your own shortcomings.
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I think that since we are a family, we should try to change ourselves instead of choosing to avoid it, and it is not right for my mother-in-law to do this.
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The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will definitely be a little contradictory, and we should face it well, rather than run away, so that the problem cannot be solved, everyone respects each other, runs in with each other, and will improve.
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The contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can be said to be a common problem in many families, and these contradictions may be similar, such as many mothers-in-law feel that their daughter-in-law has a lot of shortcomings, or daughter-in-law feels that her mother-in-law has a lot of problems, etc., but this contradiction is only limited to two people, and few mothers-in-law will not like the children born by their daughter-in-law, after all, the child is innocent, and the child is her own grandson or granddaughter. But there are always special and exceptions to everything, this is not a woman who says that her mother-in-law does not care about her grandson, and he is very hesitant to take his children back to his mother-in-law's house for the New Year. In fact, I think that although this situation is here, it is still a specific problem and the specific analysis is as follows.
01.Will it be lively to go home
First of all, the most important thing is that you have to consider whether if you go back for the Chinese New Year, whether it will be a little more lively and happier than if you are celebrating the New Year now. In fact, now many people's ideas have also been released, and the New Year itself is to make everyone happy, after all, after a year of work, you still need to have time to relax yourself, but also to add fuel to yourself next year.
It stands to reason that you should go back to your mother-in-law's house, and the family will be reunited for the New Year, but the premise must be to feel this atmosphere after returning home for the New Year.
02.Does it hurt the child to go home
On the other hand, you also need to consider whether going back for the Chinese New Year will cause some harm to your children.
Because his child is still young, he doesn't know many problems, he only looks at the faces of adults and feels a lot of things. This mother-in-law doesn't care about her grandson, which means that this mother-in-law may not like her grandson very much. If you go home to celebrate the New Year together, this mother-in-law is indifferent to her grandson, and it may even cause some psychological damage to the child.
Because the child does not understand these truths at all, his heart is simple and fragile, if he is in the child's personality formation period, then let the child be exposed to these things, if the child feels that his own grandmother hates him, it is easy to let the child form an inferiority complex to a certain extent.
03.Finally, I would like to say
In fact, there are many things that should not be and should not, you should calm down and analyze the pros and cons of this matter, even if you don't go home for the New Year, you don't need to have so much psychological pressure, because this does not mean that you don't support your mother-in-law, just that making this choice at the moment may be the best for both sides, and there are many things that are bound by traditional concepts, so don't enclose yourself in a cage and imprison yourself, so as to make yourself feel unhappy.
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Mother-in-law ignores her grandson, in fact, she has to take her children back to her mother-in-law's house for the New Year, maybe her mother-in-law is usually very busy and doesn't have much leisure to pay attention to her grandson.
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No, such a mother-in-law is too unaffectionate. It's just too cold for me to accept. So you don't need to go to her for New Year's greetings.
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Although you usually ignore it, you still have to go back for the New Year, so that you will be able to get by on face, and others will think that you are a good daughter-in-law, just don't have too much communication.
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I still have to go back. It's one thing for her to not treat her children well, it's another thing for you to take them back. In this way, it will not be ignored.
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I think it should be needed. Because in this way, the family can be more harmonious, avoid family conflicts or quarrels, and also allow the grandchildren to meet their grandmother.
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She doesn't care about her grandson, that's her business, but as juniors, you should also bring your children to her for New Year's greetings, otherwise we will be wrong.
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Which home to go back to for the New Year has been a problem since ancient times, in fact, as long as the two husbands and wives discuss it, go back to your house this year, and go back to my house next year, so that the two families can take care of it in turn.
If you don't want to go to each other's homes, then go back to your own home during the New Year, save the toss, anyway, the two of you are often together, and the New Year is not bad for a few days, for fear of being said, usually socialize with the two parents.
If the two families are close to each other, then you can spend the New Year at your husband's house, and then go back to your parents' house for the New Year on the second day of the Lunar New Year. If you want to be lively during the New Year, both families can take care of it, then bring the two families together and have a happy New Year.
You can also let the parents of the two families go on a trip and pay for them to sign up for a tour group, so that they can be happy during the trip, and their little two will also have a happy New Year. Actually, the two of you can also sign up for a tour group and travel for the New Year, as long as both parents are enlightened and they don't interfere with your freedom.
Why is the daughter-in-law reluctant to go back to her mother-in-law's house for the New Year?
1. I don't want to do it: I believe that more than 80% of married women don't want to go to their mother-in-law's house for the New Year from the bottom of their hearts, in fact, this is normal, and it is okay to have a good relationship with their in-laws. But most of the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are in the same situation, in the happy day of the New Year, who doesn't want to be happy, why bother to find yourself unhappy.
2. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not good: We also mentioned above that the reason why many daughters-in-law are reluctant to go to their mother-in-law's house for the New Year is obviously that the relationship is not good. My friend was that when she had an unfortunate miscarriage, her mother-in-law didn't even ask after she found out, and secretly told her son that she was not in good health, and if she couldn't give birth, she would let the two of them divorce.
Let's ask, who can like such a mother-in-law?
3. Uncomfortable living. Don't talk about sleeping in an unfamiliar bed, it's okay not to squeeze, some families are rare for the New Year, and everyone rushes back to live, so you have to squeeze a few people together. If a northerner lives in a southern family and there is no heating in winter, it is estimated that he is not used to it.
4. Language barrier. You know, even in Guangdong, they all have their own dialects, let alone inter-provincial. If you stay at your in-law's house for a few days during the Chinese New Year, you will probably suffocate to death.
I can't understand a word when I speak, and I guess when I communicate. You can't communicate with other people at all, let alone fit in. Therefore, going back to the mother-in-law's house to enhance the relationship between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law is completely based on the common language.
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This situation is still rare, in the current society, young people have a high level of education, should still know the relationship between generations, but it cannot be said that there are some daughters-in-law, only messing around, but there are also some old people as mothers-in-law, taking out the practices of the older generation, which is also the key to the contradiction, this situation, but it is difficult to do.
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This kind of thing has to be done by the son, you have to say good things on both sides, make condiments in the middle, depending on your own level, the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law are against each other, they are all a family, you are too willful, you love your husband, you have to love his family, you love your son, you have to love your daughter-in-law, because she is your son's favorite person, so both sides give a little bit of family happiness, you are happy or not,
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This kind of thing, depending on the local customs and habits, there are ten different customs in our country, under normal circumstances, you should go back to your mother-in-law's house for the New Year, after all, it is the water that the daughter who got married out splashed out, and she can't go to her mother's house for the New Year, and the wise old man will not leave her daughter in her mother's house for the New Year, but there are special circumstances, depending on the situation.
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This kind of person even ignores her mother's family, which shows how bad she is. So the in-laws don't have to pay attention to him for this kind of person, and they don't have to treat her as her.
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The daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law are against each other, there must be a problem and no consensus has been reached, as a son, he must play a mediating role in the middle! It is necessary to coax on both sides, and to coax that side must stand on that side, know that it is reasonable and emotional, first say what the other party is not, and then say more about the good things that the other party has done for himself must be able to lie, pretend that the other party already knows that he is wrong, in short, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not good, that is, the son is incompetent! So, as a son, it is the best regulator, and you can't be a wall grass!
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You can communicate with your wife, you also have children, they are all mothers, the family should not be careful, harmony is precious, parents are role models for their children, we often hear others say, family and everything is prosperous.
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If you don't go back for the Spring Festival, what else do you need to press the New Year's money, don't you feel like stealing the hearts of the elderly? Is your son competent?
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As a son, you must do the ideological work of your daughter-in-law, explain the reason, your mother-in-law is an elder, as a daughter-in-law, you must respect the elderly, you can't go against your mother-in-law, both sides take a step back, your son is doing work, the family is together, help each other, understand each other
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Since the relationship is not very good, and it is awkward to be together, then go to their own way, after the New Year, it is okay to go to the New Year again on the first day of the new year, reduce the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and make everyone unhappy together.
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Tell her the truth of being a man, no matter if the old man is wrong or not, everyone will be old, and the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law must have a generous and tolerant person to get along, so that the family can coexist peacefully
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What should I do if my daughter-in-law is against her mother-in-law and doesn't celebrate the New Year together? If there is a conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and can't celebrate the New Year together, then don't be together first, don't talk to each other together, both sides shake their faces, so that everyone will see more uncomfortable, the son will talk to the daughter-in-law and ask what reason is not willing to spend the New Year together, the son takes the initiative to coax the daughter-in-law, and everything is prosperous, if it is the mother-in-law's reason, the son should also go to coax the mother, say more good things about the daughter-in-law, reduce the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, do not return to misunderstandings, and the daughter-in-law also say good things about the mother, and strive to resolve some misunderstandings as soon as possible, It is difficult for a clean official to cut off family affairs!
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The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not good, so you can celebrate the New Year separately and slowly get the relationship together.
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Everyone's family relationship depends on everyone to maintain together, people say that 30 years of mother-in-law and 30 years of daughter-in-law, everyone has done something wrong, it depends on how to understand each other, how to forgive? After this incident, after this period of time, we must reflect and reflect on each other, and then the relationship will be more beneficial to get along with? If the other party does something wrong, you must forgive him, so as not to cause tension in the family relationship, especially the mother-in-law, the mother-in-law is old and has experienced a lot of things, so she must let the young and vigorous daughter-in-law wait for the daughter-in-law to reach the age of the mother-in-law, she will be good and filial to her mother-in-law, because she knows that her mother-in-law is not easy, unlike the ideas and opinions when she was young, and she has changed greatly when she is old, so everyone must reflect on the world for others, so that the relationship can be more harmonious, and don't do everything to the end. In the case of solving, each other is not humble, and there is no room for reflection and redemption from each other, then the relationship is even more difficult, so all things should not be too serious, more true there will be no family affection, there is no room for recovery, everyone should be grateful when getting along with others, think more about the benefits of others, more tolerant, more humble, more understanding, and look at the problem from the perspective of the other party, so that it is not difficult to get along, and the contradiction between the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law will be easily solved.
That is to say, in real life, every family has difficult songs to sing, has its own difficulties, and has unknown hardships, it depends on how you face it? How to solve it? How to see these things?
In this way, these things can be solved just right and the relationship can be maintained to the best state.
Five years is not short, and you should know that you like and dislike each other, and the crux of the not-so-good **. You ask this question to show that you still want to get along with her, and you already have a certain deep affection. So, think hard about whether this dead knot can be opened, and whether you can be humble. >>>More
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