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If the child is unwilling to communicate with his parents, then the parents can think about whether they always arrange everything for the child as an adult, and are unwilling to listen to the child's own thoughts, or usually nag, so that the child feels that it is useless to communicate with the parents, so they are simply too lazy to communicate. Only by finding the right cause and prescribing the right medicine will the problem be solved.
What to do if your child is reluctant to communicate with his parents:
First, there should be time to talk alone with your child every day.
Do we set aside some time to communicate with the children? We can't be busy every day, and we all have time to talk to our children alone. We need to talk to our child and share his feelings and thoughts.
Even if the time you can spend with your child is very short, as long as you pay attention to quality, you can still make your child feel that you care about him, establish a good parent-child relationship, and when the child can feel the love of his parents, the child is naturally willing to communicate with his parents.
Second, be able to squat down and talk and communicate with your child.
Squatting down is not only to maintain the same height as possible with the child in terms of physical height, but more importantly, it means that the psychological height should be equal, with an equal attitude and vision, with a serious and cordial attitude, the child is regarded as an independent person who needs to be respected. Squatting down shows an attitude that we see our children as individuals with independent personalities just like ourselves.
Third, respect your child's right to speak and be an obedient parent.
Children crave to be heard, and in most cases, children cannot communicate with their parents because they are talking and no one is listening. If we can respect our children's right to speak, be more patient with our children's conversations, and not be in a hurry to interrupt our children, our children will be happy to communicate with their parents when they encounter problems.
Fourth, discover your child's strengths and encourage them more.
Appreciate the child's hard work, don't blame the child for not doing well, the child will become more and less confident, he will think that he can't do anything well, and he will be ridiculed and blamed if he does, so he will choose to hold it in his heart rather than say it, in the long run, the child's character can only become more and more withdrawn, and the heart will become more and more depressed if there is nowhere to release.
When the child is talking, no matter how busy the parents are, be sure to look at the child with your eyes, do not interject at random, and try to show that you are listening. Let your child express his point of view, listen to what he has to say, and if you disagree with him on an important principle, tell him that you disagree with him and give reasons.
Reasons why children are reluctant to communicate with their parents:
1.Speechless.
That is, the child and the parents do not have a common language, as soon as the parents open their mouths, they learn to criticize and play, and the children are playing and hate learning.
2.It's useless to say it.
This is a state of relative despair, because the child is expressing his needs, but he is always ignored or pressed back by righteous words, making him feel that it is a sin to have needs. Regardless of the reason, the essence of the difference is that children experience only depression in the process of communicating with their parents.
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Think about whether it is your own reason that your child is reluctant to speak, and if so, correct it in time.
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I think parents must give their children enough respect, give their children a certain amount of space, and must create more opportunities to talk to them.
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Parents can first reflect on whether they are not putting their children in the same position as themselves, and always like to treat their children condescendingly.
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The solutions to the child's reluctance to communicate with their parents are as follows:
1. Keep calm and rationalMany parents often nag endlessly when they are dissatisfied with their children, but in fact, children hate nagging very much. As a parent, you should be sensible and calm at all times, and if you really can't control yourself, please think about it for your child. What they need are democratic and cheerful parents, not microphones that can be pulled at any moment.
2. Give children understanding and respect, and parents should respect their children at all times. Some parents think that they are parents and that their children should respect themselves, but they don't realize that their children need respect as well. Therefore, as a parent of an adolescent child, you should give your child understanding and respect.
Because this stage is something that everyone goes through. As the child's closest parents, you should respect the child and not be too smart and strong, after all, respect is mutual.
3. Pay attention to the language of the bodyParents do not need to express their children's love and trust, attention and appreciation for their children. A smile, a look, a kiss, a gesture can convey all kinds of emotions to a child, and this is more powerful than a thousand words.
4. Care more about children Most children in adolescence are reluctant to communicate with their parents, they would rather digest it alone than share it with their parents.
At this time, parents need to pay more attention to their children, pay attention to their children's mood every day, and if they find that their children's mood is not good, they should communicate with their children.
5. Don't interrupt your child's words: Remember that many parents should play the role of a listener when talking to their child. Since you choose to be a listener, you should not interrupt your child's words at will, no matter what your child says wrong during the conversation, please control your emotions and listen with your temperament. Wait until they're done, and then educate him.
6. Correctly guide the children as parents and as people who have come before, and see that the children are experiencing what they have experienced, and should guide the children correctly, tell them what is right and what is wrong, and do not let the children go astray.
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Every day, the most interesting and practical psychology is the problem of most Chinese children and parents - the psychological distance between the two generations, the method of thinking, values, attitude to life, hobbies of interest and other aspects. But in my opinion, the "ditch" is not to understand the love, is the disappointment of zero communication. Children don't grow up to refuse and communicate with their parents, but most parents and children don't communicate in a real sense.
I am your father, so you must listen to me. "You have to study hard and grow up," "Why don't you listen to this kid, it's not a good kid." ”
Chinese parents habitually put themselves in the position of the absolute authorities, and the children who are incapable of resisting cause anything. They can barely hear what their children say, let alone explore their children's hearts, and they don't have to feel the emotional hurt of their parents. Cutting off the communication bridge is their own protection, once the bridge is difficult to restore.
Every sick child has a sick parent. It's not any problem with the kid. Better reflect on what is wrong with you.
Do you crave to compress your child's around? When the kid came home in the mud, it proudly said, did you face it when I got the first place today? "Sports, got a math test to get first?
Are you always perfunctory? Adults have to face an infinite stall that they can understand as bears children can understand. Of course, if you are perfunctory, do not blame your child after becoming an adult, or even deliberately run away from you.
Because of reincarnation, if you are very young from a child, you will move with him, and when you are old, you will ask your child to accompany you. Understand that the child will eventually lose the opportunity to listen, and the last child is reluctant to tell the parents. The child refuses to communicate with his parents, perhaps because his parents really feel that they will never see it.
of parents treat their children as their own personal belongings, and while they pay for everything, their children are not their own because the starting point is wrong. Your child is not your child. They are children who yearn for life.
They came into the world through you, but they don't belong to you. You can give them your love, but it's not your idea because they have their own idea.
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The child does not want to talk to you, it may be that you usually spend too little time with the child, the child is very strange to you, and you want the child to take the initiative to communicate with you, you can play with the child more, so that the child will take the initiative to communicate with you.
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I think the kid didn't talk to you because of timidity and fear. I think parents should be patient and proactive.
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It may also be because you often hit him, it may also be because the child does not get any words of encouragement from you, or it may be because you are busy with work, so at this time parents must take time to spend time with the child, and then get to know the child.
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It must be because you have scolded your child, or you often ignore him, which is why he is reluctant to talk to you. If the child does not communicate with you, then you should find a way to communicate with the child, be sure to talk to the child gently, you can start with the cartoon toys that the child likes, and open the topic to let the child talk to you.
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Because you are too strict and your child is afraid of being criticized by you, you should communicate with your child as a friend and do not create pressure on your child.
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Because children are unwilling to trust their parents, so they are unwilling to communicate with their parents, at this time parents should take the initiative to communicate with their children, and do not be too perfunctory, blindly ask children, and should also say some of their true thoughts.
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If your child is unwilling to communicate with parents, you can communicate with your child by letter or message, and you must change the way you speak.
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There are many reasons that can lead to a person's reluctance to share the experiences and things of daily life with their parents. Here are some possible reasons:
1.Don't want to disrupt your parents' lives: Some people may think that their parents are already busy and not wanting to talk to them about their own things might make them tired.
2.Don't want to get into an argument with your parents: Some people may not want to discuss sensitive topics with their parents because they fear that the argument will affect their relationship with each other.
3.Don't want to be restricted: Some young people may have their own lifestyles and interests, and they feel unfree when they think that if they share their lives with their parents, they will be questioned or restricted by their parents.
4.Not having enough intimacy: Intimacy takes time and effort to build, and if an individual doesn't have enough intimacy with their parents, they may be less likely to take the initiative to share their lives with their parents.
The above are just some of the reasons that can lead to this. Everyone's situation is different, and the true reason may vary from person to person.
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There can be many reasons why a child may be reluctant to communicate with their parents, but here are some common ones:
Parents don't understand their children's needs. Parents may find it difficult to truly understand their children's inner world and needs due to some self-defeating factors, such as age, cultural background, educational views, etc., which leads to children's reluctance to communicate with parents.
Parents lack listening and respect. Sometimes, parents may put too much emphasis on their own views and ideas and neglect their children's independence and opinions. In this case, the child will feel that his voice cannot be heard and will no longer actively communicate with his parents.
The child has suffered injuries in the course of his or her growth, which has led to psychological lock-inade. A child may have experienced bullying, insults, or other forms of harm, and this experience may cause the child to develop a psychological defensive response that makes him no longer trust and dependent on adults.
Improper allocation of parental time and energy. When parents are busy with work and can't spend enough time and energy with their children, children can feel alienated and alone. This can also lead to reluctance to take the initiative to communicate with parents.
Of course, there may be many reasons why children are reluctant to communicate with their parents, and it is not excluded that the characteristics of children's adolescent psychological development stages, etc., are discussed in detail, and parents generally need to listen carefully to their children's voices, respect their children's ideas, provide enough companionship and attention, and improve communication and relationships through positive actions.
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First, there is a lack of intimacy.
Because many parents now generally lack empathy and cannot gain the trust of their children, if they always hold the feudal parents' set and appear in a condescending posture to teach their children, instead of an equal and peaceful attitude, only "admonishment" to their children, of course children are not willing to share their hearts with their parents, and what they share is often only empty preaching from their parents, severe reprimands or brutal commands that completely go against the will of the children, and there is no good result in sharing.
Second, personal privacy.
Some people may think that they need to protect their personal space and privacy. This can be related to personal issues such as psychological hunger, health problems, gender identity, social life, etc. In this case, parents need to respect the privacy of their children's rented rocks.
Third, cultural differences.
In some cultures, communication between children and parents is not as frequent and open as it is in Western cultures. This does not mean a lack of love or care, but a difference in cultural habits.
Fourth, communication difficulties.
If you talk about daily life, you will be blamed - you are not good, you are not good, you have to change, you have to be obedient.
If you don't talk properly, you will also be blamed - you see, I said a long time ago, who made you disobedient, disobedient and that's it.
And if you talk about success, you are also blamed - even if you succeed, you don't have anything to worry about, you still have to be obedient, and if you don't listen, you can't.
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Personally, I think you should treat your children as equals, not as parents. At the same time, you can change the way you get along with your child and learn to listen.
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Probably, yes.
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