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I have also experienced your problem, so it resonates, my personal opinion may not be applicable to you, for reference only: 1. In order to improve your self-cultivation, you can read some books purposefully, such as philosophy and history, you can improve yourself very well, when I was a child, I always listened to my grandmother chatter: "There is a ** house in the book, and there is Yan Ruyu in the book", all of which are on the sidelines, and when I grow up, I know that it is indeed very reasonable, and reading can be reasonable, and if there is any confusion and questions, books are the best helper.
2. If you say that you want to learn some art and technology, this idea is very encouraging, and it is good to apply for some skills that are helpful to your work and life, such as: what kind of teacher, swimming, cooking, a sport, etc. In short, don't let yourself be idle, listen to your tone should be a girl, girls should be independent, men are dependent, but not the only one.
3. Make more friends. The premise is that friends who are suitable for their own personality and living and working atmosphere are not only like-minded but also like-minded, as the saying goes: fish looking for fish, shrimp looking for shrimp, this is the truth.
4. When doing the above things, you must be engaged and focused, and you can't be overwhelmed. Serious girls are the most beautiful, that's true, so you have to have perseverance in doing things, and you will invisibly attract the attention of others!!
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Cultivate a hobby, or learn something new to recharge your batteries.
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Browse some literary classes**, such as Under the Banyan Tree.
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It's hard for us to focus on one thing, let alone cultivate one, and it's a term that's even a little unfamiliar to some people. But I think that if you want to achieve something, it is useless to be brutal, and the key is to be careful. Today, I would like to share with you three ways to improve your self-cultivation.
Cultivation, character, life, society, ancients.
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Pride can't grow, desire can't be indulged, fun can't be extreme, ambition can't be satisfied.
The first is stillness. Talk less, listen more. Because people who love to talk have lost a bit of quiet beauty. Moreover, if you say too much, you will lose.
There is a saying that thinks before you act, and what I want to say here is that think before you speak. Even on the Internet, a platform that relies on language to communicate, too much speech can be annoying. When you want to speak, say it to yourself, don't say it to others, because almost no one wants to listen now.
The second is slow. There is a admonition that is quick to do what you say, and I think that in a certain situation and a certain environment, it should be slow to do what you say. You do things too fast, and sometimes, you just do a good job, and the leader thinks you don't need to do it. Moreover, if you are too enthusiastic, a subtle psychology, he will not be so comfortable, thinking that there is something special in it.
There is also an advantage that you can take a shortcut to success on the basis of the failures of others. But this often leads to a lot of missed opportunities. Anyway, it's not about doing business, and there's no need to grab the market.
The point is that people who are too capable will become the object of envy and defensiveness.
The third is forbearance. In the face of injustice, don't be angry, don't vent. First, anger hurts the body, and second, anger does not solve the problem. "There is the stomach to tolerate those things that cannot be changed, the courage to change those things that can be changed, and the wise man to distinguish between the two kinds of things.
These are the three qualities that a successful person should have. Since there are some things that cannot be done by one person, why not sit on the sidelines? venting dissatisfaction will only let others watch the show.
The fourth is let. Major issues of right and wrong involve issues of principle, which cannot be backed down, and decisions must be made by individuals; But for the little things, try to listen to other people's opinions. If you can do what others think, you don't stick to your own opinions. Take a step back and open the sky.
And if it is done according to the opinions of others, the mistakes are also shared.
Fifth, light. Everything is a little more downplayed. To fame and fortune, to money, to feelings. Nothing is without it, and there can be nothing alive.
Gain and loss are also dialectical, and if you lose in this area, your mind will be freed and you will have the opportunity to try other options. The opportunity cost in economics is more suitable here, the more you look at it, the more calm your mind is, and the more you can experience ordinary happiness.
Sixth, flat. It's ordinary, it's bland, it's balance. The disadvantage of having edges and corners is that it is easy for others to bite you. Thoughts exist outside of work.
If a person can unify his thoughts and actions in his work, he is a leader with decisive power. There's a popular saying on the Internet: "As far as your thoughts go, you roll out."
In the workplace, your thoughts can exist only to the extent that you have the right to make decisions. Although ordinary people have no color, they tend to survive the longest. People want to live a wonderful life, but first of all, they must be able to survive and not be kicked out.
A student who has a job said, "For work, you must believe in materialism; For life, we must believe in idealism. "Therefore, we need to have close friends and a safe space for ourselves to express our thoughts. There, we can show our extraordinary.
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Temperament cultivation is the accumulation of inner quality to a certain extent, which is naturally manifested from the inside out, and improving it is not something that can be done in one or two days. 1。From the point of view of demeanor:
Dress in line with your age, figure, personality, and various occasions; Walking with a straight back, the girl's speed is not too fast, awkward. Don't gobble up food, don't make a 'tsk, or horn' sound, as if you have never seen the world and never eaten without a tutor; 2。When talking to people:
Look squarely around the other person's nose; Don't dance, don't be aggressive; Smile and keep your distance; The tone is kind and sincere; 3。Increase various interests and hobbies: make sure that there are two or three interests that are slightly more in-depth; Always pay attention to fashion elements, but don't necessarily follow them immediately; 4。
Read more books: In addition to some celebrity success stories, training materials, read some books that increase eloquence, interpersonal communication, and language arts. There are too many titles to list here, so please look for them in the bookstore.
5。Cultivate your own abilities in all aspects: adaptability, adaptability, coordination, organization, judgment, negotiation, responsibility, efficiency, creativity, courage...
5。Having kindness is the most important point, and without this, everything else is also zero, because it will be undoubtedly revealed in your words and deeds, demeanor. Help all kinds of vulnerable groups, colleagues, friends, relatives, small animals, passers-by...
Respect for leaders and elders. As long as you can be strict with yourself and persevere, you will definitely see obvious results within half a year. I hope you can become an independent person who has no shortage of popularity.
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Personally, I feel that the best way to improve personal cultivation is to have a lifelong regret on the road of growth because of your own personal cultivation problems, so that you will try your best to improve your self-cultivation, rather than waiting for others to give you advice.
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The most important thing is to pay attention to self-reflection, empathy in doing things, make what you do not go against common sense, be optimistic in everything, don't be impatient, and cultivate patience.
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It's simple, detached.
Actually, it's hard.
It takes time. In addition, I think that self-cultivation should also include physical self-cultivation.
Both exercise.
With a good physique.
Only then can we have a good spirit to face life.
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The following methods can be used to improve psychological quality.
1) Self-affirmation. People must constantly deny and affirm themselves in order to progress, and the ultimate purpose of negation is to develop in the direction of affirmation, self-affirmation, and maintaining firm beliefs are often the key to career success.
2) Abandon low self-esteem. Low self-esteem requires three conditions: first, a lack of successful experience; second, the lack of objective and fair assessment; Third, the self-assessment is biased.
To abandon low self-esteem, we must first overcome ourselves, set a goal for ourselves, have strong beliefs, believe in our own abilities, and at the same time have a scientific and reasonable assessment of ourselves.
3) Enhance self-confidence.
4) Psychological regulation and emotion regulation.
Criteria for good mental quality Maslow believes that good mental quality is manifested in the following aspects.
1. Have sufficient adaptability;
2. Be able to fully understand yourself and make a moderate evaluation of your own ability;
3. The goals of life are realistic;
Fourth, do not detach from the real environment;
5. Be able to maintain the integrity and harmony of personality;
6. Be good at learning from experience;
7. Able to maintain good interpersonal relationships;
8. Be able to vent and control emotions moderately;
9. On the premise of not violating the collective interests, the individual can be exerted to a limited extent;
10. On the premise of not violating social norms, the basic needs of individuals can be properly met.
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The essential reason for poor psychological quality is that you don't have enough experience, why some successful people have excellent psychological quality. , because their experience can be said to be rich, basically it can be said that it is very comprehensive. And how to improve and enrich your experience, then you should continue to contact new things and people, generally as long as you continue to suffer failure, and every time you can find the reason for your failure from failure, and next time you can try to avoid it, that means that your psychological quality is slowly improving, interviews, in fact, everyone is afraid, and why there are so many face bully, it is because they have experienced countless interviews to form, super good psychological quality, So what you need to do is to solve your fear of failure, because you have been worried about your failure or something, then you don't dare to try, then your next time is always the end of failure, on the other hand, you know that you are sure to fail, then what are you afraid of, it is already a failure, then take this time as an exercise, as long as a few times later, I think your psychology should have a germplasm leap.
Another important point is that every time you fail, you must sum up, think about what you are lacking in, so to improve it, and the next thing is to be confident in your next attempt, because confidence is half of your success, and you must keep saying to yourself: I will do it! What are you afraid of, isn't it just a failure?
You should still be very young now, and if you have experienced more, your psychology will slowly mature, and life will not be a perfect life if you don't encounter some setbacks and failures. You don't need to think about other people's opinions, do what you should do, go your own way and let others say go Maybe if you do well, others will only look at you with jealousy If you can't do it well, try to let others know that you are not so bad next time, repeat it a few times, and you will not be afraid of other people's opinions. To sum up:
Have confidence in yourself, believe that you will be able to do it, let others say it, just do your best, there are many failures, it is important to sum up experience from each failure, in the end, the experience has been enriched, congratulations on your success!! Seek adoption.
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In my opinion, the most uncultivated behavior is not respecting other people's choices and making irresponsible remarks about other people's choices. When others are working hard, you don't work hard, try to improve yourself, but instead discourage the enthusiasm of others, is this really something that a cultivated person can do? Definitely not, a cultivated person is to respect the choices of others from the heart, not to mention that others are working hard.
Besides, if you don't try, if you don't know how to try, how do you know that the path you have chosen is not the right one? In fact, whether it is useful or not, it is not what you say, you are not qualified to point fingers at other people's choices, let alone point fingers at other people's efforts.
How can people who cannot respect others gain the respect of others? Respecting the choices of others is not only respect for others, but also respect for oneself, it is not only a kind of cultivation, but also a sign of a person's maturity.
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Make some cultivated friends and associate with them more.
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Treating the same thing and looking at and thinking about problems from different angles can gain new and different understandings and ideas, which can enable us to get rid of frame thinking and make innovative decisions that are completely different from conventional thinking.
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Self-cultivation comes from learning, from the experience of people and things. It is impossible to contact everything by relying on individuals alone, so if you read more history and read more biographies, your cultivation will improve and change.
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This problem is very complicated, a person's cultivation and their own education, living environment, and the people they come into contact with are all closely related, in short, if you want to improve in this area, it is best to have more contact with people you think are cultivated, this is not an overnight thing.
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Cultivation and connotation need to be accumulated, and reading history and practicing words feels good.
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If it's a short term, consider reading some magazines, which cover all walks of life, so that you can quickly understand the situation, increase the conversation with others, and further capture new knowledge from other people's conversations.
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You can read more autobiographies of celebrities and learn from their various experiences; You can also read some books about "Zen", through a short story, you can understand a lot of life truths; You can also learn from each other's strengths and weaknesses through the interpersonal interactions around you. In the accumulation of knowledge and interpersonal communication, constantly improve their self-cultivation.
Develop your own hobbies. People with high cultivation quality also have many interests and hobbies, and only by cultivating their own interests and hobbies can they improve themselves in all aspects, which is a very good practice. And it's a wonderful thing to be able to live your life to the fullest. >>>More
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