Why is it so hard to find a partner, why is it so difficult to find a partner?

The friends upstairs said how much it makes sense, I also want to talk about my experience, just for reference, I'm an older young man, I went to be an armed police officer when I came out of school, and when I came back from the army, I took my mother's class to work, it can be said that it was smooth sailing, but I was repeatedly frustrated in the matter of talking to someone, since the year before last, my family urged me to find a girlfriend quickly, and on the other hand, I asked around Zhang Luo to meet with a certain girl, I have a lot of friends of the opposite sex around me, but I just regard them as friends, There are also friends who meet at gatherings, introduced by friends, introduced by colleagues in the unit, and introduced by parents... I was overwhelmed, I have been on a blind date at least a dozen times in two years, and everyone I know, when I meet, the first thing I say is: "Are you married?"

Do you have a girlfriend? "When are you going to get married?" "When are you going to bring your girlfriend for us to meet?"

I'm going crazy! It's not that I'm picky, it's not that I'm incompetent, I think if you look for a partner, you must first find someone with good character, if you can't even reach this point, you don't have to think about anything later, there are more people with money and cars, but can you say that his (her) character must be good?

My family always asks me to find a girl with a good job and good family conditions, but does this mean that he or she is really someone you love? Can I really live with you and share the joys and sorrows of life with you? Including the trivial, annoying, but having to do the little things?

I'm afraid that including you and I haven't thought about this aspect of the matter, but I think marriage is a very romantic, happy thing, for this matter, I have quarreled with my family countless times, always think that my parents don't understand me, always don't accept the girl I really like, disgusted that the other party's family is rural or has no job, just like this dragged on, several good girls left me... Recently, my friend introduced me to another girl, her home is local, she is working, but she is not here, hundreds of kilometers away from me, and she comes back in a month.

Once or twice, my family and I are very satisfied, my parents finally won't nag in their ears, but just gave me a death order, let me talk to her about the marriage before the New Year, I dizzy...

In fact, sometimes calm down and think about it, although the parents' approach is too utilitarian, but then again, it is because they are people who have come to understand the truth that "men are afraid of entering the wrong line, and women are afraid of marrying the wrong man", and they are afraid that we will take a detour, so they will meddle in our affairs, which is understandable, for us, in fact, the most difficult thing is not to find the person we love, but how to find the person we love the most and satisfy our parents at the same time, which is the most difficult.

Because what you're looking for is so perfect, it's hard to find.

Generally speaking, in our subconscious, there is an image of a future object, and when we look for an object, we generally follow the map. It's just that few people think about it, so I feel that it doesn't go well all the time.

It's not difficult to be rich, it's not difficult to be good-looking, and it's not difficult to play.

Yes.

This is a completely unknown and unavailable process. The difficulty is that true love is hard to find, and it is hard to find it. It is difficult to meet a person who loves each other in the vast sea of people, and people who love and appreciate each other are really hard to find.

The difficulty is in the long road, you don't know who the other half of your life is, can you find it in **? The difficulty is that everyone has a different personality, with a different outlook on life and values, sometimes when you meet a person, you have affection for her, she may not be interested in you. Sometimes someone loves you, cares about you, and longs to come into your world, entrust you with a lifetime and rely on each other for a lifetime, and you may not have a soft spot for her and are willing to spend it together.

The difficulty is that when they meet someone who likes each other, they may still face the test of recovering from mountains and rivers, and both parties must have enough ability to manage this relationship well before it can achieve positive results.

In fact, the difficulty now is that our mindset has changed a lot, and there are data that there are about 200 million people who are single, and there are more men than women, of which more than 92 million live alone, and this number will continue to grow.

Behind the astonishing data, there are many people's troubles. Whether it is an older young man in his 30+ years or a little brother or sister in his early 20s, the hearts of most people are still full of desire and expectation for love and marriage.

But at the same time, I am afraid of finding a partner, perhaps because of the previous failed love experience, perhaps because I always can't meet my ideal partner, maybe because of the interference of family and friends, or because I am afraid that love will delay the development of work and career. All of these can become bottlenecks for us to find a partner.

Coupled with the development of the Internet, most of our behaviors such as shopping, communication, **, learning, etc. can be done online. Even finding a partner is no exception. Nowadays, the Internet provides us with a good blind date dating platform, like the current high-reputation single software is very suitable for us single young people.

Yiban provides a real and reliable platform in the network, where you can boldly express yourself. When you're talking speculatively online, you can cast your net even further. Launched an attack on him in life.

Therefore, it is not difficult to find a partner, to change your thinking mode, after all, it is now the technological era of the Internet, to change your mainstream romanticism, perfectionism, and change the unchanged way of finding a partner.

The other party you like doesn't like you, the other party likes you but you don't like it, the circle is too small to have the opportunity to meet other people of the opposite sex in life for fear of embarrassment and dare not take the initiative to find, it is recommended that the civilized take the initiative.

First of all, you have to have something that attracts the opposite sex, and secondly, you have to match the other half's three views to come together.

There are various reasons why it has become difficult, but the following points I think have the greatest impact, especially for boys:

2.Smaller social circles: After work, people often socialize with colleagues and clients rather than with peers or friends. This can lead to a smaller social circle and difficulty meeting new potential partners.

3.Stress and anxiety: Work stress and scarcity can affect people's emotional state and abilities, making it difficult for them to establish and maintain healthy relationships.

4.Different priorities: Work and career development can become important priorities in people's lives, which can lead people to put romantic relationships on the back burner.

5.Different expectations: After work, people may have higher expectations about romantic relationships, such as finding a more stable and mature partner, which can make finding a relationship more difficult.

If someone tells you that your mate selection standard is very low and very simple, as long as you have a feeling and get along, then you must not believe it, because there are too many hidden requirements behind the feeling and compatibility, in fact, you can just think about it, including appearance, knowledge, family, conditions, career, three views, etc. For example, I heard from a matchmaker some time ago. A girl approached her to introduce a partner, and she asked if she had any requirements, and the girl said no, just get along.

As a result, the matchmaker found a person who was okay in all aspects, but after two or three days, she was denied by the girl, the reason was that she didn't feel it, because the other party's height was shorter, and it didn't meet her preset of her life partner. Introduce her to another one with good external conditions, and after a week, she denied it on the grounds that the two of them couldn't get along, because there was no common language. So when you always go to someone with such standards, you must believe that in this world, no one can live up to all your presuppositions about him.

It seems that it is indeed the minimum and simplest standard, but in fact, it is the most demanding and complex requirement, because there are not so many suitable people. As He Jiong said: "If you suddenly meet a person who is perfectly compatible with you, and he is particularly accommodating and considerate of you, you must be careful, there is no such person in this world, don't believe in fairy tales so much!"

There is no perfect fit, and two people who are absolutely compatible can only accept each other with an inclusive heart. Ask yourself what you like and what you can accept, and then determine your own direction from it, and when choosing a partner, as long as that person has the advantages you need, and the disadvantages are also within your acceptable range. If you want to skip the run-in process directly, and you can't get out of the ideal world immersed in the ideal world, you can only pounce again and again, and keep going alone.

In addition, if someone says that he doesn't have any criteria for choosing a mate, then you must stay away from this person who rushes into the socks, because he doesn't even know what he likes and wants, and how do you meet his requirements, so no matter who he chooses, he will eventually feel that he is becoming more and more lonely, exploring in different lovers, but no relationship can develop for a long time. When it comes to finding an object, people can't directly skip their own needs, otherwise where will they have the ability to act and where can they be motivated? You have to figure out what you want first, and then determine what you want, and make sure that your will will never be influenced by others.

Why is it becoming more and more difficult for single men and women to find a partner now? Say an answer that I recently heard from Sanji: "Single men and women, the fundamental reason why they can't find a partner, their own conditions are not good, and then ask for a lot of them, in layman's terms, it is a high eye, a mountain looking at a mountain."