What do you think of the behavior of the old family who likes to gossip?

<><The age universality of gossipWe can see from the people around us that gossip is universal at any age and anywhere, not that only the old family likes gossip. And it's normal to like gossip, because people are always curious about those things that are unknown. Whether it's a child, a young person or an old person, in a way, they all like to gossip.

Since everyone likes gossip, then we don't need to think too much about the behavior of the old family liking gossip, just look at it with a normal heart.

How to keep a normal mind and look at the behavior of old family members who like gossip

It's actually very simple to keep a normal mind and look at the old family like gossipFirst of all, you have to be clear that gossip is not actually harmful to anyone, and it is not a bad behavior. Because gossip is not the same as spreading rumors, many people confuse the two, so they subconsciously feel that liking gossip is not good. As far as I am concerned, gossip exists between acquaintances, and after chatting, I will not say that we always go to a certain person and thing, nor will we bring our emotions when gossiping to others, even the parties; And the spread of rumors is constantly spreading (mostly strangers and people who don't know each other very well).

Secondly,Be aware that old family gossip doesn't have much of an impact on you. If your old family likes to gossip, when there is no gossip on you, you should listen to the story as if you were interested (I do this a lot), and if you are not interested or don't like it, then ignore it, stay away or do something else to divert your attention (such as playing with your mobile phone); If they gossip about you, you will be perfunctory if you are present, as perfunctory as you want, and at the same time keep a professional smirk in case they morally kidnap you. As long as you don't react too much, they won't be interested in talking about you.

I think the gossip of the elderly should be divided into two kinds, those who care about you with good intentions and those who spy maliciously, and those who have no sense of boundaries.

During the New Year's holidays, you will always receive a lot of care from your elders who want to know about your recent life, which is the so-called gossip. Nowadays, young people can be said to hate this, and there is even a whole set of countermeasures online. But I don't think the act of gossip itself is so annoying, and what is annoying is that some elders lack a sense of boundaries and inquire about other people's privacy at will.

After all, it's not just the elderly who gossip, don't we also like gossip and eating melons? Therefore, whether the gossip behavior is good or bad depends mainly on that "degree".

Well-intentioned care

In rural areas where empty-nesting is extremely severeElderly people in the countryside are often very lonelyAt home during the summer vacation, I saw my grandmother in the air-conditioned room, leaning on the back of her chair, dozing off while watching TV. If it's not so hot outside, sometimes I'll move a stool and get a fan to chat with other grandparents. They are used to asking about other people's lives and caring for each otherSatisfy each other's curiosity and desire to talk

So in this case, they are often very worried and curious about the life of us college students, they have not seen it, and they don't know, they have never traveled far in their lives. In this case,Just be mindful of their problemsTalk about what they have done during this time, and let them talk a little more when they are chatting with other old men and old women, they will be very happy, and it can also make them feel at ease and believe that you can take care of yourself alone.

Malicious spy

Of course, not all gossip is about caring and worrying about you, and there are also some gossips from elders that make people very annoying and cause physical discomfort. They don't care how well you're doing, they're more concerned about how you're doing。If you have a job, ask if the salary is high, if you are not in love, ask when you will get married, if you have a high salary and a happy family life, you must also ask if there is a ** unsatisfactory, and then use the identity of the person who has come to teach you to do things, I hate this kind of behavior, but I can only hold on.

There are many ways to relieve anger on the Internet, but in a festive atmosphere, in the face of these "concerns", it is not good to turn your face directly, you can only be furious in your heart. I think the best way to do it isReduces presence, the topic is perfunctory when asked about yourself, give these elders a space to show themselves, orDirectly anti-customer, "care" about the lives of the elders。When I left the adults' chat area after eating, the fire wouldn't burn on myself.

In summary, I believe that there are still a few old people who maliciously spy on them, most of them are lonely old men and old ladies who are a little less out of the times, chatting with them, gossiping about the latest news, and sharing their own lives.

We can often see some in life, and the elderly prefer to use gossip. Some people spat on it, and even disgusted it. But in my opinion, it's actually human nature to like gossip.

Most people like to listen to some gossip and then go to join in some fun, but due to the characteristic of being busy with work and study, it is not obvious. Because the elderly are retired or unable to work, they generally have more free time, so the trait of gossip is very obvious in the elderly.

In my opinion, the elderly love gossip mainly because they have some spiritual vacancies in their lives, and it can even be said that there is some emptiness. Therefore, you need to find a little fun for yourself from other people's things or experiences. After understanding the reason, I will actually be tolerant of the gossip behavior of the elderly.

I also think that if we want to improve this situation, the most important thing is to enrich the lives and spiritual world of the elderly.

Elderly people are not able to continue to participate in work because they are retired or in poor physical condition and have difficulty in moving. This makes them have a sense of emptiness that is completely different from the previous rich and fulfilling working life, or some lack of self-worth. Coupled with urbanization, many young people have left their hometowns, and the elderly have become empty nesters.

This has caused the spiritual world of the elderly to be not rich enough, and the absence of children has deepened the emptiness and loneliness. Therefore, some elderly people are not able to find things that enrich themselves from themselves.

So they began to look outward for the embodiment of value. And gossip is actually a kind of behavior that connects with the outside world with a very small threshold。Through gossip, by sharing some things you know, you can attract the listening and attention of others, which is actually a manifestation of the elderly's pursuit of their own value.

In this regard, I believe that enriching the spiritual and material life of the elderly is a very important aspect. On the one hand, they can deepen their self-knowledge in it, and on the other hand, they can make them have greater affirmation of their self-worth.

The Spring Festival is approaching, a tree-like diagram known as the "List of Speech Outlines of Relatives Gatherings" and the "Top Ten Most Hated Relatives Questions" rushed to the hot search, and were criticized by a large number of netizens**, and even the official Weibo of the people** said: New Year's goods can not be prepared, these answers must be prepared. Why is this topic so hot?

It is also the personal experience of many netizens, every time I go home for the Chinese New Year, I always have to be gossiped about by the old people in the village, asking questions, and facing the "soul torture" of the elders, everyone is also miserable. In response to this phenomenon, here's my take on the gossip-loving behavior of the elderly:

Gossip is in human nature

American psychologist, who explains this problem from the perspective of evolutionary psychology, believes that "gossip" has existed since ancient times, not a product of popular culture. In ancient times, resources were scarce, and in order to compete for resources, "gossip" became a survival skill. In today's society, good gossip can provide us with useful information, and bad news can make us aware of potential dangers and threats earlier.

Because gossip is conducive to the survival of individuals and the development of groups, the "gossip" gene has been handed down.

Gossip is an influence**

As the saying goes, "All mouths are gold, and bones are destroyed."", which shows how influential gossip is. Although it is the freedom of others to talk about how others speak, in fact, some gossip is the most hurtful, in life, some untrue gossip spreads out and becomes a rumor, only a few people will not care about these rumors, which is also a reason why we are very disgusted with the gossip of the elders. Therefore, we must have the ability to distinguish between good and evil, true and false, just listen to some gossip, and do not spread rumors and become the last straw that crushes the camel.

Gossip builds and maintains relationships

Psychologists have also pointed out that gossip is a way to promote physical unity, which is conducive to shortening interpersonal distance. In fact, have you noticed that people who like gossip are always such a group of people, and these people have established an interpersonal relationship because of gossip invisibly. Gossip, sharing information, showing that everyone is in a "circle", which is an intimate relationship that allows everyone to be friends.

Summary: We can't stop what others say, but our attitude towards gossip is up to us. However, only in a social environment without coercive interference, free flow of information, and full competition, can we think independently, freely, and comprehensively, and can we treat all kinds of information rationally and fairly.

Look at it with a normal heart, the heart of gossip is something that most people have, but people with a good level of cultivation will not show it, and the people in backward places have a low level of education, so they are naturally more concerned about this aspect.

The old family members generally have no culture, and they usually like to get together and talk about some parents' shortcomings, and there is no need to be serious with them.