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Parents-in-law always come and go in and out of our room casually, and at this time, the girl can choose to let her husband talk to his parents and solve the problem in this way. Because two people are equivalent to establishing a small family after getting married, they can choose to live with their parents at this time, but they must have their own independent space, otherwise such a marriage is prone to problems. Therefore, let the husband understand the seriousness of this matter, and then let the husband change the minds of the elders.
Maybe the elders feel that they are just looking for something in the room, but this practice is actually very disrespectful to the daughter-in-law, so it is necessary to make the elders realize that their behavior is wrong. Many of the older generation's thinking in this area is indeed flawed, because today's education does teach that you can't just go into other people's rooms. But the older generation has not received this kind of education, so they don't feel that it is a problem for them to enter the room of the younger generation, and at this time, as a daughter-in-law, you must not lose your temper with them directly.
A daughter-in-law's tantrum with them is an unreasonable behavior in itself, even if the other party's behavior makes you feel offended, then you should also handle the matter with the right attitude and never quarrel with the other party directly. You can ask your husband to change her parents' minds, because after all, there is a certain gap between her daughter-in-law and her parents-in-law, and it is useless to forcibly communicate at this time. There is blood kinship between the husband and them, and letting the husband negotiate can get the greatest effect.
The elders want the younger ones to do well, so they will change their practices when they realize that there is something wrong with their behavior. If no matter how you communicate with the other party, you can choose to lock the door directly when you are at home, and you can also choose to close the door with a key when you go out. Use this practical action to tell them that they don't like people to enter the room casually, so that the other person can see their attitude.
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You can tell the other party that you will have some special private things in your life, and you can talk to yourself directly if the other party needs it, but you don't want the other party to go directly into your house.
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I think that when you encounter this kind of thing, you should be honest with your parents-in-law and mother-in-law, communicate with them, make them realize that their behavior is inappropriate, and take care of them more in daily life, so that they can understand themselves better.
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Personally, I think you should let your husband communicate with his mom and dad so that his mom and dad can both understand and not get angry with you.
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You can choose to separate your family and live separately, so that you can reduce a lot of contradictions, make yourself better, get rid of some bad habits, get along harmoniously, and you can choose to pretend not to see it, try to avoid some conflicts, or choose to have a stronger attitude.
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You should keep a certain distance from your mother-in-law, you should make yourself hard, and you can lose your temper in front of your mother-in-law appropriately, so that your mother-in-law will not dare to show you a look.
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You should tell your husband about this matter, let your husband and your mother-in-law have a good talk, and you should be tough at home, and you should fight back in time after being wronged.
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This kind of thing must be stopped, which is not only the protection of personal privacy, but also the maintenance of self-dignity. Here's how you can do it:
The first thing is that you have to formally bring up this matter and discuss it with your husband and tell him how serious the matter is。Tell your husband that although her mother-in-law's behavior may be unconscious, after all, the husband and wife sometimes have some intimate moves, and if the mother-in-law sees it, it will put both parties in a more embarrassing situation, and even she will have a psychological shadow because of this, hoping that her husband can understand her worries.
After getting the understanding and support of her husband, let him go to connect with her mother-in-lawTell the mother-in-law that this is not only the daughter-in-law's wishes, but also her son's inner thoughts, and ask the mother-in-law to remember to knock on the door before entering the door in the future, so that both parties can be "mentally prepared" (some scenes must not be seen by people other than the husband and wife).
In the past, my mother didn't knock on the door when she entered my room with my daughter-in-law, and we didn't care about this problem at first, until the scene of the couple kissing was seen by the old mother. She also hurried out and closed the door by the way. Realizing the seriousness of the matter, I took the initiative to tell my mother about knocking on the door when I entered the house.
She also nodded again and again, promising that she would definitely not go in so "casually" in the future, and she would definitely knock on the door before entering.
Of course, my mother's behavior was unintentional, and when she realized it, she changed it. But my aunt often liked to do this, even though my cousin and aunt talked about it very seriously, but my aunt didn't care at all and didn't repent. Later, in desperation, my cousin could only lock the door every time she returned to the room to avoid embarrassing incidents.
Secondly, if the negotiation between the two parties is ineffective, then I suggest that you move out and stop living with your mother-in-law, which is also the most direct and effective way. If you don't live with your mother-in-law, she won't be able to go in and out of your couple's room at will, once and for all.
This kind of behavior may not be a problem in the eyes of the mother-in-law, but it is difficult for the daughter-in-law to accept. A colleague in our unit finally decided to move out of the house and stop living with her mother-in-law after being in and out of their room at will and trying to persuade her many times to no avail. In her words:
Although I have to give an extra 1,500 yuan a month, I can finally get a good night's sleep."
Finally, I would like to say here that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been very difficult since ancient times. We don't want our mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to get along like mother and daughter, as long as we can respect each other like guests, it is already "lucky". In addition, keeping an appropriate distance from the red line and not crossing the line is also conducive to maintaining the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
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Let your husband communicate with her! After all, this is the privacy of the two of you.
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Let your husband talk tactfully to your mother-in-law.
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The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has always been difficult to deal with, and the daughter-in-law does not want her husband to have contact with her mother-in-law's family, is it wrong to do so? I think there must be something wrong, because the husband and his mother-in-law themselves are the relationship between parents and sons, and it is very normal to have dealings with mother-in-law, and I should not block it, on the other hand, if you want to deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, you need to take the initiative to resolve the conflict and have a tolerant mentality. <>
1. It must be wrong for me not to allow my husband to have dealings with my mother-in-law's house.
The relationship between the husband and the mother-in-law itself is the relationship between the parents and the son, and the relationship between the husband and the mother-in-law is generally the relationship between his own brothers and sisters. In real life, these relationships can help you, so it is very important to be able to properly manage the relationship with your mother-in-law's family. <>
2. Be sure to take the initiative to deal with the conflict with your mother-in-law.
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have always been prone to contradictions, because for mother-in-law, daughter-in-law may treat daughter-in-law as an outsider, and even have various requirements for daughter-in-law, and daughter-in-law can't stand this kind of request, it is easy to have all kinds of contradictions, just like daughter-in-law does not allow her husband to have contact with her mother-in-law's family, such a requirement is obviously wrong, so it is easy to cause contradictions, you must take the initiative to deal with the contradictions between your mother-in-law, and there are many very good relationships in real life, they will be happier, You can get along with your mother-in-law with a tolerant attitude. <>
All in all, I don't want my husband to have dealings with my mother-in-law's family, such a request must be wrong, because their relationship is a relationship that blood is thicker than water, they are very close, and they can't put an end to their contacts, if there is a conflict between themselves and them, they should take the initiative to resolve it, learn to take a step back from each other, don't care about some small things, if they can handle such a relationship, then in fact, they are also very close to themselves.
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This is certainly wrong. First of all, even after the husband and wife get married, they cannot deprive the husband and mother-in-law of the connection, a happy family is a harmonious family relationship, so we must deal with the relationship with the elderly.
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It's wrong for you to do this, your mother-in-law is your husband's mother, and you don't let the two of them interact with each other, which is disrespectful to your husband.
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We live alone, our in-laws are close, and we often come to our side with a loss, which makes us very uncomfortable, how to communicate?
Learn to understand the elderly, and think more from the other party's point of view. Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are honest with each other, even if there is anything dissatisfied, they can be pointed out in person, and if there is none, they will be encouraged. Of course, when pointing out the shortcomings and shortcomings of the other party, you must learn to be tactful and express it in a tactful tone to avoid hurting the other party's heart.
Because she was afraid of destroying the relationship between her mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, no matter what happened, she chose to compromise, chose forbearance, and rarely expressed her true thoughts. As a result, more and more grievances have accumulated in my heart, and my temper has become more and more capricious. On the contrary, it undermined the establishment of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Kind tone. Young people should respect and appreciate their empty parents and in-laws. As the saying goes, "the old horse knows the way", the life experience of the elderly is always worth learning and needs to be respected; I've worked hard all my life to support myself, so I need to be grateful.
Give advice to the elderly, and the younger generation may wish to sweetly call them "Daddy" or "Mommy", or give them some small gifts, and then talk about things lightly. The old man is often embarrassed to refute, thinking that these little things are nothing compared to the filial piety of the younger generation, and it is easy to accept and change, and the most important thing to get along with the elderly is patience.
The mother-in-law couldn't help but give her son and daughter-in-law advice on marriage, work, and raising children as an elder. As a daughter-in-law, I should be objective. If you feel that your mother-in-law is right, you should give her more appreciation.
If you don't want her opinion, don't just say "You're wrong, mother-in-law". Instead, you should suggest to her that "I'm doing it well" by actually taking action. The difficult relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is an eternal fact.
This expectation should not be too high, and certainly not too low. Make it clear that a mother-in-law is not a mother, and a daughter-in-law is not a daughter. You can't expect your mother-in-law to be your mother, and you shouldn't think of your mother-in-law as a particularly nasty kinship in the first place.
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You can tell your husband what you feel uncomfortable about, and ask your husband to communicate with his parents, so that his parents don't always come to your house.
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You should communicate well with your husband that he is uncomfortable, and then ask him to come forward and find a reason to talk to his parents.
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You can express your confusion with your husband, and then listen to your husband's opinion and ask him to communicate with your in-laws.
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Let your husband tell your mother-in-law about this matter, and it is best for the daughter-in-law and mother-in-law not to talk about this issue face-to-face.
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The young couple lives with their mother-in-law, and it is true that they sometimes encounter a lot of embarrassing moments. The subject said that entering the room without knocking on the door is indeed very impolite.
You can let your husband communicate with her mother-in-law
You can ask your husband to talk to your mother-in-law, after all, it used to be the son's room, but now it is the husband and wife's room. The mother-in-law pushes the door directly to enter, which may cause unnecessary embarrassment, and everyone will find it strange at that time. In order to avoid such an embarrassing image, then knock on the door before entering.
If the communication is fruitless, you can enter the mother-in-law's room without knocking
You ask your husband to communicate with your mother-in-law, but the effect of communication may not be as expected. In this case, you can use the trick of "give back to the other in the other way", you can go directly to her room without knocking. Of course, without embarrassment, or you will be embarrassed.
If your mother-in-law asks you why you don't knock on the door. You say, I thought our family didn't have the habit of knocking on the door! Didn't you knock when you came into my house?
Enter and lock the door
You can lock the door when you enter your room, so that it is impossible for your mother-in-law to enter, so she can only knock outside. If you lock it a few more times, I think your mother-in-law should know what it means, and she will also develop a good habit of knocking on the door in the future.
You can try to solve it in these ways and see if you can get your mother-in-law to change her habit of not knocking on the door. If it really doesn't work, I think it's really nerve-wracking that you shouldn't live together.
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In this case, you can tell her tactfully, because she knows how to knock on the door before, which means that he still has a sense of politeness. It's just that maybe I have a better relationship with you now, and I forgot about it for a while. If you remind her a little bit of this situation, this may not be the case.
Or you can lock the door when you go back to the room, she can't open it herself, so she will naturally knock on the door.
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