Why my mom likes to complain to me about what I should do

It's understandable to talk to the people closest to you, your mother wants to get your understanding and help, and it's normal to vent your troubles, I hope you encounter this situation, then listen to her quietly, don't dislike her, she can feel more comfortable and feel better, because you are her only.

Old people will nag and complain. Because you are old and there are few people to talk to, you can also understand your mother and your confidant, and complain to you about things that you can't say to others, which is also to release his heart, and you have to understand and use your heart to guide your mother, so that he can gradually live happily every day.

Then you can have a good talk with your mother, if you have any dissatisfaction, let's try to solve it, complaining can't solve the problem.

It's that people are under pressure, and my mother is the same, I need to find someone to talk to, what I do is just listen quietly, in other words, you are the closest person to your mother, don't tell you who you want to talk to.

In fact, complaining to you, on the one hand, is to talk to you, and on the other hand, I hope you give her some advice, but she can't take it. Of course, if you love to complain about the mentality, you can properly guide it from other aspects, and it will be fine.

Because your mom uses you as an emotional vent, you should be a good role and help mom find an emotional outlet.

Treat you as a confidant, believe in you very much, you can't shirk, how good it is for someone to be your confidant, you have to cherish it, don't lose it.

Menopause, children, you have to learn to tolerate it now, and you won't be wrong in the future, talk to your mother well, and there will be a solution to what you are not afraid of.

It may be that you are very busy and don't have time to talk to your mother, so the old man feels aggrieved and complains, and has time to cheer her up.

It shows that they have used you as a target to vent.

Only when the nagging is over, can you speak calmly.

Mom, when you are a little padded jacket, talk to you about your heart.

Hello, glad to have your question. Your wife always complains about your parents, and you feel sad and helpless, right? I understand your situation very well, and I believe that this situation will be encountered by many families, but in order to live a happy and harmonious life, especially as husbands, it is very important to handle the relationship in the middle.

It is wrong for a wife to complain about her parents, but as a husband, can she understand her wife? Can you guide your wife to understand her mother? If not, is it a personality incompatibility?

If the relationship is really irreconcilable, then it is still okay to live separately appropriately, but it is recommended to protect the mother, not to be hurt, and not to make the mother feel wronged. Because mom is the cornerstone of your relationship as a couple. I wish you happiness.

Let's first understand, what aspects of the wife complains about her parents, whether it is reasonable, and what you can handle, you can help care and appease it, in fact, sometimes we complain to the other half, in fact, there is no requirement, just to be able to speak freely, the other party can understand, you behave, verbally express your attention, the matter is over, of course, on some principled issues, or to support, the family coordinates and handles, has a discussion, takes care of each other, for the unity and harmony of the family, If you really can't get along, you can also be separated, far fragrant and smelly, and there is nothing to do with each other! It's all solvable, the key depends on whether your wife is just complaining, or really dissatisfied, and deal with it in a targeted manner!

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the hardest problem in the world, and if you don't want this problem to continue to deteriorate, then separate from your parents, so that at least it will not worsen the problem and can also save your small family.

She just needs to confide, and the person she confides in is you, but the person she complains about has something to do with you. Listen and understand her, and solve the problem if you can.

Mom always complains to you about Dad and advises you to do it:

1. When your mother complains to you about your father, you try to listen more and express less opinions. Don't say what's wrong with your mother, because if you criticize your mother, she will feel helpless, disappointed, and sad. Try not to stand on the same side with her to criticize Dad, because this will make Mom feel that she is right to complain, and it will deepen her opinions and complaints about Dad.

2. When your mother complains about your father, say more kind words for your father and talk to your mother about your father's advantages. For example, how dad praises mom in front of him, how he thinks about mom, how he thinks about mom, how he contributes to the family, and what mom doesn't know.

3. Pay attention to whether your mother's complaint is true, and if the situation is true, talk to your father again, so that he can pay attention to his mother's feelings about something. Don't be too blunt, though, and pay attention to methods and strategies as well as language rhetoric, because if you don't handle it properly, it can be counterproductive.

You just have to be a child. Of course, it's not that you have to take care of it, but your mother forcibly pulls you in, and in the face of this problem, I think what we need to see is that your mother must have a positive motive for doing this, for example, to talk to you, it may be to seek support, it may be to show her victimhood, to seek sympathy, to seek attention, and so on. This is the harm that her mother's original family gave her.

In the face of this, I think it will be helpful for you to try to find her positive motivations and satisfy her in effective ways. In addition, it is necessary to show that there is a clear line between you and your parents, that you are only a mother and daughter and that you love each of them, but that you are not involved in their marital relationship, let alone responsible for their marital relationship.

You have your own life and should not have to pay for your parents' unsuccessful marriage. Firmly aware of this, it is essential to maintain the independence of the self. But also recognize that your parents have nurtured you, and according to your description, your mother clearly apologized for disturbing your emotions, and she also recognized that her complaints had a negative impact on you, but with her insight and ability, she did not find a more suitable way to solve the problem, whether it was to solve her own emotional problems or practical problems.

Dad is also very concerned about your life, but he doesn't realize that he doesn't realize that he is missing in the relationship and has unrealized and unresolved complexes, and his concern for you makes you feel uncomfortable. It's unrealistic to cut ties away, but keeping your distance is a must if you can't afford to take on their negative emotions.

There is such a process, I don't know what the situation is, my mother here said that Dad is not good, basically because of some trivial things in life, Dad doesn't know how to cater to Mom, they never quarrel on major matters, sometimes they don't understand, the practice is generally to listen to Mom talk about those years ago, there is a sentence is not to say, it will be more comfortable to say. Then according to the situation, give appropriate comfort, tell her, mom rest assured, dad is bullying you, son is angry for you, by the way, mention mom and dad when they were young, how hard it is for dad to work to make money to support the family and other topics.

Look at what she's talking about. If he says that his father wasted money to buy groceries on the street again. I'll just say:

Because our sister is back, he wants to be generous. It's nothing, we just gave him money, he has money. With this kind of mediation, there will be much less frequency of saying that dad is bad.

It would be nice to take your parents out for a meal once a week, take them to the nearest city to have a little fun, and communicate more. If there is anything bad, please understand, this is how I deal with this matter.

Your mother always complains to you about your father, in fact, this is also a very common problem, sometimes your mother complains that she is just in a bad mood and can't find someone to talk to, so she will also find her children to complain, and it is not necessarily that she dislikes her father, so as a child, you can comfort her more at this time, and at the same time you can say some good things about your father, which can make your mother feel better.

At the same time, if what Mom said is really reasonable, then you can also find a suitable opportunity to talk to Dad about some of his bad habits, hoping that he can make some changes, but it also depends on the personality of the parents, some of the characters are more eccentric and can't listen to your suggestions at all, so at this time, you should be more considerate of Mom, and try to help her if you can!

According to my many years of experience as my mother's trash can, she complained about your dad with you, just wanted you to listen to it, receive her bitterness, and she needed your support, and soon, she was "forgetful" and tired of your dad, you just be honest as a listener, and your mom will be fine after speaking.

I also have this feeling, I am more than one person every day to tell me, I usually use it as their trash can, and then find a place to vent their bad emotions, and then talk to my dad when I have the opportunity, I can only do this, because the relationship between their husband and wife is really not something we can interfere with.

My mom often says that my dad is not good, I believe it because I know what kind of person he is, and I also see that his conduct is not good, I can understand my mom, you know what kind of person your dad is, if your dad is not like your mom said, you just listen to your mom's complaints, maybe she is really wronged. You have to be a mediator between your parents, make your mother believe in her own vision, and then talk to your father about the problem to be solved.

I'm in the same situation, and the two of them don't like anyone, they've lived together for 30 years, basically three days of a big quarrel and two days of a small quarrel, each quarrel has its own reason, Chen sesame rotten grain over again, my brother and I persuade no one, now like two enemies divorce, my brother and I don't know what to do, persuasion can't be persuaded, make my life a mess, let alone my brother.

In fact, there is no need to deal with this, because this is a very normal family phenomenon, basically all families are like this, as a mother, they will definitely complain about their father, because this is a habit of theirs, after all, the family is like this, because there must be some small friction together, so if your mother complains about her father, you don't want to deal with it? As long as it's cold treatment, or change the topic, it's okay, your mother just complains, it's normal, basically all mothers will be like this, they will complain and complain about their husbands, after all, no one is perfect, this is also a family atmosphere, so you don't need to deal with it? Just change the topic, you can pass slowly, don't worry too much, this is family.

My mother often complains to me that my father is not good, but don't take it seriously, if you take it seriously, you will lose, if she really doesn't want to think about it, she will go directly to the Civil Affairs Bureau, what's the use of complaining to you? Listen to her complain quietly, from time to time "um" and "oh" to indicate that she is listening, don't open your mouth when she doesn't need you to express your opinion, she wants you to express your opinion, you just say "you are very right" and "agree" and other words to support her point of view, because she needs a teammate, you just pretend to be on her side, and after the complaint, it doesn't take long for you to find that she and your dad are close again.

I have really encountered this situation in real life, when I heard my wife say that my mother was wrong, I did not correct my wife immediately, but patiently listened to every word she said, and when she finished all the words, I did not quarrel with herThe first thing I did was to apologize to my wife, take my mother to apologize to him, and say some love words to make her happy, and give her a lipstick that she had wanted for a long time as a gift to compensate her.

When there is a conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, as a son and husband, you must not do one thing, that is, convey what both parties say to each otherIf you tell each other what the two people say, it can only make the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law break faster, don't always persuade your wife, be generous, don't always tell your wife, my mother is not easy to get older, we have to let her, these words are the last thing your daughter-in-law wants to hear.

Your wife is also the little princess of her parents before marrying you, she must be angry with your mother if she doesn't marry you, so you must also spoil your wife, but our mother does work hard, she has worked hard all her life to raise us, and she is our benefactor, at this time what we have to do is to calm the anger of both sides, first of all, we must coax our wife, you coax your wife to be happy, and your wife will also understand your difficulty, so as not to have further quarrels with your mother.

Communication, understanding and tolerance are not unilateral, but both parties must be able to make concessions, so if the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not handled well, then it must not be someone who has a problemBut two people have some problems in the same matter, then the most important thing we should do is to reconcile the contradictions, so that the two sides can establish better communication and contact, instead of intensifying the contradictions, taking some trouble to coax their wives, and then apologize to their mothers, this matter will be a big thing and a small matter.