How to get to know a person? How can I get closer to my friends?

The longer you are friends, the more you will find the shortcomings of your friends, which is why everyone says that distance produces beauty. But if you decide to be friends for a long time or even a lifetime, you have to stand the test of time.

One sentence is very true, a friend is someone you have seen through and is still willing to associate with. It takes a longer time for friends to get along with each other, friends can have different opinions, quarrels, and even small fights, but there is always a connection between you, if not, the friendship is difficult to last. If you can't see through a person, you are not a friend of that person, if you don't like it, you can't be considered a friend, and if you see through it, you are still willing to accept it, that is a friend.

To determine whether a person is your friend, it depends on whether you are worried when he is in trouble, whether you are worried about his worries, and whether he is the first thing that comes to mind if he is in trouble (whether he can help you or not).

Friends don't ask for anything in return, you can write her a letter or something, but don't take the initiative to admit your mistakes every time you quarrel, otherwise it will be like this every time for a long time, or take the initiative to talk to her.

If you have a good relationship with your friend, then she can't do something very ruthless, otherwise, you may not be his best friend in his heart, and friends must be tolerant of each other.

Give both sides more time.

In our lives, we often meet some sales friends, who will use relationships to improve performance. Put you in an embarrassing situation, you don't need to buy it, you often tell you if you don't buy it, I'm embarrassed, just buy some, and put it in the cabinet when I buy it.

My roommate said that my mother bought me underwear that was not very suitable, and it turned out that my mother's spike returned to her colleague to do micro-business, and she talked about products every day until she bought it. Now they don't let you buy it directly, all kinds of ways to come"Kill ripe"。

Therefore, in life, in the face of people who are keen on killing acquaintances, you might as well use punchlines to distance yourself from them. So, how can we close the distance between us and acquaintances, and avoid guessing and starving?"Kill ripe"This?

1.Say kind words, such as"Thank you"、"You"and other words to tell each other that we are not so close. The other party will be embarrassed when they perceive it, and they will restrain themselves and effectively avoid it"Kill ripe"phenomenon.

2.Pretend to be stupid and stunned, and take the other party's words as a joke"You're really kidding"and other words, the other party is naturally embarrassed to continue.

3.Change the topic in time, once you find that the other party has signs of killing, don't let the other party express their thoughts, otherwise I'm afraid that you will be difficult to solve.

4.Compliment the other party, and then shorten the psychological distance between the other party, when the other party understands that he and you are not so familiar with what you think"Kill ripe"If you are embarrassed to talk about the feast, you can also bargain with the other party.

The better the friend, the more likely it is to have contradictions, that is because after getting along for a long time, the shortcomings and deficiencies between each other will be more exposed, and it is precisely because of the good relationship that they will speak out, but it hurts the feelings and produces contradictions.

When you first meet a person, you don't know each other, of course, there will be a lot to say, and you can't finish talking, sometimes you will feel that some of the other party's views are very fresh and attractive, and after being together for a long time, you will gradually start to find faults, which is a normal process.

At this time, you don't have to feel very strange, let alone wonder if the other party doesn't want to be friends with you anymore, think about it, two unfamiliar people walking together without saying anything will be very embarrassing, but you and your mother walk on the road without saying anything you never feel embarrassed, the same is true with good friends, people who don't know seem to think that two people don't get used to each other, in fact, you already have a heart.

And a very important point, everything is like this, you get along with a person for a certain time, just like now you feel that there are fewer and fewer words, and there are small contradictions, this is the problem of distance, you have been too close to her, girls are easy to make this kind of mistake.

Why do you see some people around you mention that their good friends have been together for many years, it is because they will get along, they will not stick together all day long, usually not always contact, after a period of time everyone is coming together to play or something, talk about the current situation, Wu Biru so that there will be no words, this is the way to get along for a long time.

As for the people in the dormitory and the classmates, it may be necessary to be together a lot for a few years, and that's okay, even so, you don't have to get too close, you can feel that when you are too close to you personally, you will also have a burden on your own psyche.

There is a philosophy called "porcupine philosophy" that says that there is a kind of porcupine, and they are covered with sharp thorns. Every winter, the porcupines lean close to each other to keep warm, but if they get too close, they will be stabbed by their companions, and if they are too far away, they will not play a role in heating, so they finally keep a just right distance after repeated attempts, so that they will not be stabbed by their companions, but they can also keep warm.

People should know how to maintain this appropriate distance in the process of getting along, which is a kind of golden mean.

Clause. 1. Grasp the frequency of communication with friends.

Everyone will have differences in culture, morality, character, attitude, work potential, and family situation, etc., the size of the difference between the lead species, sometimes proportional to the frequency of communication between friends, that is, the more frequent and dense the communication, the greater the difference, the interaction between friends, whether it is the number of times they get along, distance, etc., must be kept separated, in order to achieve the artistic conception of "unfinished, unfinished", will be happy because of the arrival of friends, and miss because of the departure of friends.

Second, respect friends.

Although your friend and you have similar temperament, similar interests, and similar sexuality, your friend is a living person after all, and there will always be some differences from you, there will always be such and such shortcomings, and there will always be secrets that you don't want others to know. Therefore, when socializing with friends, do not idealize friends too much, tolerate their shortcomings, and choose the right time and method to help them overcome their shortcomings in good faith; Let your friends keep their "self", friends have their own hobbies, their own personality, you can't be subjective and arbitrary, arbitrarily ask your friends to have the same hobbies as you; Respect your friend's privacy, don't let your friend report everything to you, it seems that if your friend doesn't talk to you about something, he is unfaithful to you, and he is not enough friends.

Clause. 3. Correctly grasp the scale of friendship and love.

In addition to love, there should be a place for friendship between friends, even if it is between boyfriend and girlfriend, as long as you pay attention to grasping the ruler, you can also establish a healthy, elegant and pure friendship relationship. Both friends should recognize the difference between friendship and love, friendship is just a friendly exchange between friends, and love has to bear certain responsibilities to each other, such as family marriage, etc., it has a certain degree of specificity and constraints.

Clause. 4. Learn to say "no" to your friends.

It is legitimate for friends to ask for things from each other, and some people often ask for things that go beyond the scope of principles and objective reality. For example, some friends ask you to do things that are beyond your master's ability to bear, or some friends entrust you with things that are against your subjective will, etc., as a friend, you should decisively say "no".

If your best friend often blackens your face, the first thing to be clear about is that this behavior is hurtful to the friendship. In this case, I suggest you try the following methods to deal with it:

1.Communicate directly with good friends. You can talk to him or her in private, talk about your feelings, tell him or her that you don't like his or her behavior of blackface to you, ask him or her what the reason is, and see if you can solve it.

2.Analyze the reasons behind your best friend's behavior. Whether his or her black face is just a personal habit or a way of expression, or a dissatisfaction or depression about something, you need to find out.

3.Keep your distance for a while. If you've tried to communicate and nothing is improving, you may want to consider keeping your distance from your best friend for a while and watching him or her for a while to see if his or her behavior has changed.

4.Find some other friends who are known as Kiyoma. If your best friend often makes you uncomfortable with your black face, you can find some other friends to spend time with, which will not only relieve your pain, but also expand your social circle.

In short, in the face of this situation, the most important thing is to have a clear mentality to protect yourself, even if you treat your friends, you should have a certain bottom line. At the same time, try to deal with and solve problems in a positive way as much as possible, and maintain a relationship with good friends.