Why can t my daughter in law get close to her mother in law?

1. Change the concept. If you can't get close to your in-laws, first of all, it should be in your consciousness, that is, you are resistant to your in-laws. Because I have lived with my parents for a long time, in my consciousness they are relatives, and my in-laws are strangers.

How can you get close to strangers, so you have to change your mindset and see your in-laws as your own relatives, and you will become close to them.

2. Learn to adapt. Living in their own home, their own temperament and living habits, including the temperament and living habits of their parents, both parties have adapted to it. With this inherent adaptation, I go to live in another unfamiliar environment, so I feel strange and awkward.

In the same way, the in-laws also have their own adaptations and habits like you. So both of you have to learn to adapt to the other. When the two parties get along well and there is no separation, they will naturally get close.

Third, we must learn to integrate. Don't always stick to your habits and not accommodate others, so that you will be out of place with them, and if you fit into them, you will feel close to them.

This is a sister's way, after all, there is no blood relationship, so most of them can't get close, but it also depends on how to get along, and it also depends on how the husband plays a bridge role in the middle. It also depends on whether the mother-in-law is in place, it is all about changing people's hearts, as long as the mother-in-law treats her daughter-in-law like her own daughter, there is no problem, and she can get close.

The daughter-in-law and mother-in-law cannot get along harmoniously because there are conflicts and they refuse to give in to each other. The conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the source of the deterioration of the relationship.

The conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a common problem in many people's marriages, some marriages have finally solved the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, some have been unresolved, some have chosen to escape, and some have divorced because the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is too serious. The conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a kind of deteriorating mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship, as for the origin of the contradiction, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law usually do not take the problem on themselves, usually push it on each other, which is the fundamental reason why many mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflicts are intensifying.

Some mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflicts are the daughter-in-law's fault, and some mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflicts are the mother-in-law's fault, anyway, no matter whose fault it is, if you want to not be troubled by the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflict, you can either flee or solve it, there are only these two ways to go.

Many people talk a lot about how to solve the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and some people's statements are indeed reasonable, but some people's statements are complete nonsense. There is an indisputable fact that not all mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflicts can be resolved, and some can only choose to escape, draw a clear line between the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law, and do not let the two people have the opportunity to have conflicts, which is also a coping strategy.

Those couples who can't solve the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can escape smoothly and can live well. But those who can't solve it and can't escape, usually the daughter-in-law will choose to divorce, because she knows very well that continuing to stay will only torture herself.

When it comes to the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, I have to mention a fundamental problem that triggers the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, that is, living with the mother-in-law after marriage, or the marriage of the mother-in-law and her children.

This kind of problem can't all be treated with the heart of the Virgin, not all women who don't want to live with their mother-in-law are unfilial, some just don't want to, they just want their own life, such a marriage, the mother-in-law can only respect, otherwise it will lead to divorce.

This is mainly related by blood, because there is no certain blood relationship between the two of them. The old man always thinks of himself as an elder. For some issues, you as a small one must respect and listen, but the young man has his opinion.

And they are not respected, so there are such irreconcilable contradictions, so they can't get close.

Because daughter-in-law and mother-in-law are two types of people, you can never treat your mother-in-law as a mother, I'm talking about that kind of mother-in-law, you can't be like your own mother, unscrupulous, do what you want, do what you want to do, you have to think about your own approach, because it is a mother-in-law, the connection between the two of you is because of a man, not your own initiative.

After all, your mother-in-law is not your own mother, she didn't give birth to you and didn't raise you, she can get along normally, she knows how to be grateful to her mother-in-law, she knows how to respect her mother-in-law, and you are a good daughter-in-law.

Getting along with your mother-in-law is naturally close, getting along with your mother-in-law is your due affection, and it is the posture and respect that you should have as a daughter-in-law, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will not be too bad if you can do this.

Of course, it is best for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to get along with each other by a bowl ......of soup, and it is best to live separately if conditions permit, so as to avoid many troubles, contradictions, and misunderstandings

The balance of peaceful coexistence between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will not be lost, this balance cannot be broken, and once the balance is broken, it can no longer be repaired. It's not like there is no overnight feud between husband and wife, and it's not like a mother and daughter who have a blood tie and don't hold grudges.

Therefore, getting along with mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a problem of the century, and there is no solution!

1. Change the concept, I have been living with my parents, the family affection is unforgettable, when I go to the mother-in-law's house, I am a stranger, it is difficult to be a relative, I must change my concept and treat my mother-in-law as a relative.

2. Learn to adapt: Everyone's living habits and personal hobbies are different, so you should adapt slowly.

3. Learn to integrate: When you go to an unfamiliar environment alone, you must slowly enter the role and integrate into the general environment.

Because the mother-in-law kisses the son, the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law will never be as close as the mother and daughter, and there is a gap.

The first point must be that the mother-in-law is not very good at being a mother-in-law, so there will be contradictions, the second point is that the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law usually do not like to communicate much, so there are these problems, and the third point is that the mother-in-law is an old lady in the countryside is very convenient.

This is very likely that when my child was young, my mother-in-law did not help take care of the child, or I formed a confinement feud in the process of giving birth, and when I grew up, I naturally didn't want my child to be too close to my mother-in-law, these problems are a bit unsolvable, but I think the family should care for each other and help each other.

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the biggest family problem, the daughter-in-law does not trust the mother-in-law, and is even afraid that the mother-in-law will teach her children badly, and the educational concept of young people will conflict with the older generation, and it is normal for the daughter-in-law to have such thoughts, but it is still necessary to teach the child to respect the elders, not close, but to be polite.

It shows that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not very good. I am afraid that the next generation will take the child and lead the child astray, because many old people's concepts are wrong, even unreasonable, and avoid some unnecessary quarrels.

The daughter-in-law thinks that if the child is with her mother-in-law, it will let the child learn some bad habits, because the old man is particularly doting on the child and the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law have contradictions, so the child will not be close to her mother-in-law, afraid that the child will be closer to the mother-in-law and not close to the mother.

It may be that the relationship between the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law is not very good, and the husband will not adjust some relationships from it, but will only defend his mother.

It may be that the mother-in-law treats her daughter-in-law very badly, she does not treat her daughter-in-law well during the confinement, and the relationship with her daughter-in-law is not good, or the mother-in-law has some bad habits for fear that the child will learn, and it is possible that the mother-in-law is very bad to the child, and will be particularly partial and treat the child differently, so they do not let the child be very close to the mother-in-law, so as not to make the child sad.

If the daughter-in-law does not let the child get close to her mother-in-law, it means that there is a conflict between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law, and she is afraid that the child will lose her affection for you, so don't let the child become a victim of the struggle between the two of you.

The relationship between the daughter-in-law and her mother-in-law is not very good, or not intimate, and she feels very angry, and her husband mishandles it and ignores the atmosphere between her daughter-in-law and her mother.

It may be that the relationship between the daughter-in-law and her mother-in-law is not very friendly, or it may be that the mother-in-law does not treat her daughter-in-law very well and does not agree with some of the concepts of her mother-in-law taking children, so she is unwilling to let her children get along with her mother-in-law.

Because the children of the adopted daughter and other sons have never seen another grandson, they have not been close to them since they were young, and they don't care if they have more or less. When he grows up, his grandson is sensible, and he thinks it's fake, and he is someone else's elder.

My mother-in-law said she didn't count on her grandson and was troublesome.

The mother-in-law likes to pick and choose, always towards her son, and unreasonably treats her daughter-in-law and confinement hatred.

1. Pick and choose; If your mother-in-law picks on you at every turn, she is deliberately looking for trouble at home, such a mother-in-law will definitely make her daughter-in-law dissatisfied, and some mothers-in-law even bully their daughter-in-law with their sons, if you let your daughter-in-law know behind her back, let alone be dissatisfied, and when your mother-in-law is old, it is estimated that she will not even be allowed to enter the house. As a mother-in-law, if you want to establish a good relationship with your daughter-in-law, don't pick and choose between your daughter-in-law, and the most basic principle of getting along is to like it from the heart, not complain in life.

confinement hatred"; Most of the conflicts between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law occur in the confinement stage, the daughter-in-law is always dissatisfied with the mother-in-law who does not take care of herself wholeheartedly, and the mother-in-law always complains that the daughter-in-law asks too much, and the two sides cannot reach a consensus, and there will inevitably be a "bloody and bloody" war, and the "confinement feud" will be formed from then on. Mother-in-law should understand that confinement is a woman's most helpless time period, what they need is to be loved and cared for, if you want your daughter-in-law to have a good impression of yourself, want to make the family more harmonious, you need to pay more in the confinement, at least there can be no contradictions between each other, in the future life, the daughter-in-law will also remember your good.

The conflict between husband and wife is always towards the son; If there is a conflict between husband and wife, the mother-in-law is always towards the son, which will inevitably bring a feeling of "outsider" to the daughter-in-law, which will also cause the situation that the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law cannot communicate with each other, and even increase the contradiction between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. What she really needs may not be the support of her mother-in-law, but a word of persuasion, after all, there will inevitably be conflicts between husband and wife. Maybe the relationship between husband and wife can go back to before, but the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is difficult to say.

unreasonable expectations; Unreasonable expectations are the main reason for the frequent occurrence of conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, such as the mother-in-law expects her daughter-in-law to play the role of a daughter, no matter what she treats like a daughter, but there are differences between the two after all, and when there is a dispute, it will inevitably cause conflicts between each other, so that the daughter-in-law complains about her mother-in-law. If you want to have a good relationship between your mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, you need to maintain a reasonable expectation of each other, rather than characterizing the relationship between each other, which will inevitably cause dissatisfaction among your daughter-in-law.