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Because my temper tantrum is sometimes too impulsive, my brain loses my temper without thinking. Sometimes you lose your temper because someone else is fanning you or adding fuel to the fire, causing you to listen to rumors and lose your temper and want to teach someone a lesson, then you will easily trust others.
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People who love to lose their temper! It's all straightforward! Don't be scheming! So it will be taken advantage of.
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I also lose my temper, some say it's zinc deficiency, some say it's calcium deficiency. But I don't think it's just a matter of supplementing nutrition, it's a matter of my own mind. Because I can get angry with the people in the unit, and I like to get angry with the people in my own family.
I'm afraid it's because I didn't get a good education since I was a child.
I don't qualify for your question, because I can't control myself, so let's talk about my thoughts briefly. I now often remind myself that I should be kind to those who love me. In addition, if you spend a lot of time with a person, you can only see his shortcomings (in fact, if you pay attention, you will find that there is such a tendency between men and women and between parents and children), so I will remind myself to change my perspective and find more advantages in my relatives.
What do you think of this idea?
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The temper is angry, what he says is what he is smoothing first, in fact, the short temper also has weaknesses such as shyness and so on.
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Tantrums are just a moment of madness, regardless of age. Because the moment of imbalance in the heart is just a moment.
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See if that person eats soft or not hard.
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Summary. Dear, ways to deal with grumpy people:
1. Be good at understanding each other. In life, no one loses his temper for no reason, so when you look at a person who is always short-tempered and irritable, you might as well understand what happened to this person just now, and then deal with it in a targeted manner, so that the relationship between the two can become smooth.
2. Avoid quarrels. When dealing with things, arguing can be said to be the most inferior method, because the problems caused by quarrels are often always a lose-lose situation, which will not only make one's original good mood disappear, but also make the other party's mood become more and more irritable. Therefore, even if you meet a grumpy person in your life, you should avoid arguing with them.
How to deal with a grumpy person.
Come on. Pro, ways to deal with grumpy people: 1. Be good at understanding each other.
In life, no one loses his temper for no reason, so when you look at a person who is always short-tempered and irritable, you might as well understand what happened to this person just now, and then deal with it in a targeted manner, so that the relationship between the two can become smooth. 2. Avoid quarrels. When dealing with things, arguing can be said to be the most inferior method, because the problems caused by quarrels are often always a lose-lose situation, which will not only make one's original good mood disappear, but also make the other party's mood become more and more irritable.
Therefore, even if you meet a grumpy person in your life, you should avoid arguing with them.
Do you have to avoid that?
3. Communicate more. Communication is the bridge between the two, so it is best to communicate appropriately when facing a grumpy person, because a person who loses his temper is not necessarily unreasonable, but he is often more anxious. If he had an in-depth communication and got to know each other better, maybe he would be able to change his bad temper.
He can't change it?
Then don't go to your heart. It is very common for some people to have a short temper, and even if sometimes the person is losing his temper, it is not because he hates himself, but because the person himself is like this.
Dear, is he angry with you alone?
But it affects my emotions, and if I put up with him, I will be aggrieved and want to cry, and I don't want to bear such grievances.
Are you in a relationship?
Sometimes it's really aggrieved to meet unreasonable people
Dear, do you need contact every day?
He's my classmate, not a couple, and the whole class doesn't like this guy because he has a big temper, and I don't want to put up with him.
Well, then you just don't care.
It is possible to stay away from him.
He speaks too badly.
This is not simply a short-tempered person, this is a sick person.
Dear, is he affected by the family environment, is he a single parent?
Each of us will encounter some sad things, when we can't face things alone, some people will talk to friends, some people will seek professional psychological counseling, if you are willing to hope that you can say more, the teacher is here to accompany you.
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First of all, these are two different things. Controlling your temper and controlling your emotions is a very good personal ability. Being bullied is one of the consequences of poor emotional control.
It takes a long time to learn and train to control one's temper, so being able to control one's emotions is a one's own ability, and no one can take it away. Then what you can control means that when you need your temper, you can take it out and use it, and when you don't need it, you can put it away. For example, in the face of bullying, you can take out your own attitude to deal with bullying, and you can solve this matter; And in negotiation or daily life, if there are emotions, but they do not help to solve things, then the temper should be put away.
Temper control is a free-flowing ability that belongs to oneself.
And when it comes to being bullied, I think you actually have a cognitive logic error. Not having a temper doesn't lead to being bullied, and being bullied doesn't have to be a result of not having a temper. There are many reasons why people are often bullied.
You may think that cowardice tolerance will lead to bullying, but in fact, this is also a type of inability to control emotions. Because in the face of bullying, you also need to adjust your emotions and position to an appropriate position, instead of blindly tolerating the other party with a cowardly temper, and completely put away your emotions and temper.
Therefore, being bullied without temper is another extreme of controlling emotions - completely putting away your emotions.
To tolerate it is to be unable to stand firm. Sometimes, you have to let the other person understand your bottom line.
Therefore, to control your temper and regulate your emotions, you need to be free to control and release it, and in what kind of situation you need to come up with the appropriate emotions to make yourself comfortable and make others comfortable.
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In fact, when we calm down, we will find that those things that seem to be angry because others have made mistakes are often angry because of their own incompetence, and because they do not want to expose their incompetence, they transfer their anger to others.
In the long run, whenever we make mistakes, we will blame others for their mistakes and ignore our own shortcomings, so that others are constantly improving, and we are not only standing still, but also growing a bad temper.
When a person's temper is greater than his ability, it is often a manifestation of incompetence, venting his incompetence in those yelling.
People with a small temper are often broad-minded people, so they can treat things rationally and think calmly; And people with a big temper, when they encounter things, use a bad temper to cover up their incompetence, analyze problems more comprehensively, and do things more impulsively, which will only harm themselves and others in the end.
Being able to control your temper is a great ability, because once your temper is controlled, you can avoid many impulsive mistakes, opportunities will not be missed, and blessings will come to us.
There is a good saying: "Life is the process of seeing oneself, seeing heaven and earth, and seeing all beings." ”
No matter how many mountains and seas we have crossed and how many people we have seen, we must eventually return to ourselves and change ourselves with what we have seen and felt.
A person who is really capable can face everything calmly, because under the tempering of the years, they have already quietly changed themselves.
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It's really good to be able to control your temper, because then you won't get into trouble for no reason; But you can also be bullied without temper because you don't show others your principles. The two do not conflict, the former keeps you from causing trouble, and if you don't have a temper, you're too cowardly. Stick to the bottom line of being your own person, and you won't be bullied.
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Controlling one's temper and not having one's temper are two different things; Controlling temper does not mean that there is no temper, controlling temper is to restrain one's emotions, you can look carefully, the more successful people are to control their emotions, but it does not mean that they do not have temper. Be humble to others, respect me a foot, and return the favor. For those who don't respect themselves, there is no need to restrain your temper.
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From a psychological point of view, what are the characteristics of those who only have temper but no ability, and how do these characteristics affect their lives.
1. Impulsive and irritable personality and emotionally unstable.
People with impulsive and irritable personalities generally have great mood swings and poor control ability, and it is very stressful to get along with such people, and it is difficult to establish continuous and stable interpersonal relationships, which will make the other party feel troubled.
Xiao Zhang is one such person, he has just joined the work, but often complains that his colleagues are alienated from him and are unwilling to talk to him. In fact, the real reason is that he loses his temper at every turn, and everyone is reluctant to touch the mold, so naturally they don't want to associate with him. Once, he received a ** from home, and he began to curse and lash out without a few words.
Later, through a slow understanding, I learned that his personality was impulsive and irritable, which was inseparable from his family growth environment.
Psychology believes that a person's personality is influenced by a combination of genetic factors and acquired environment. Xiao Zhang's parents themselves are also impatient, and when the family encounters difficulties and problems, the first thing to consider is not how to solve the problem, but to vent their emotions. Later, I heard that Xiao Zhang had resigned from the company, and it didn't seem to be easy to find a new job.
Although his impulsive and irritable personality is influenced by the family environment, this is not a reason for you to lose your temper in interpersonal interactions, and you still need to work hard to change.
2. Attribute failures to external causes and get used to blaming others.
Many of us are accustomed to attributing our successes to internal causes and failures to external causes, and the opposite is true for others. In the process of counseling, many clients often talk about their bad luck or because they are disturbed by others, and rarely talk about their lack of effort.
One of the things that these visitors often say is: it's all weird. Otherwise I would have known how it would have been, and I would have rarely said:
Now this situation is because of me. Attributing one's failures to external causes, although it can reduce one's psychological burden, in the short term it is a manifestation of irresponsibility, and in the long run, it will make oneself unmotivated and habitually blame others.
3. Speak straightforwardly and mercilessly.
Straight-talking people generally don't have any heart, and it is an advantage to interact with such people without having to spend too much effort, but straight-talking people can easily offend others. Maybe you think that you speak straight and are for the good of others, but if no one wants to criticize you only, it is easy to hold a grudge against you in your heart.
If you are not an authority person, or have a detached status, in the process of interpersonal communication, do not talk about the shortcomings of others, let alone expose the scars of others, if you do not grasp the degree well, it will evolve into emotional venting, in the eyes of others, it is a useless behavior.
I think it is very necessary for a person to have a temper, because temper represents the basic principle of a person's behavior, and without a temper, I am afraid that it is almost the same as a "soft persimmon", and it is easy to be calculated and bullied. The key is to be able to control your temper and make yourself the master of your emotions.
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Why can you be bullied if you don't have a temper?
No matter how good your temper is, you have to divide people.
It is not excluded that there are some people around them, who always make a living by bullying others, and only by bullying others will they find their own sense of existence. You can't be kind to such people, because they will bully you endlessly. Only if you are brave enough to say no, they will be afraid.
For those who treat you as friends, you can tolerate them in moderation. A person who has no temper at all is a person who is looked down upon. People who have a temper, but can restrain themselves, are admirable.
Don't just give in and compromise:
Your forbearance and compromise will not show that you are a reasonable person, nor can it reflect how generous and tolerant you are, you will only send a wrong signal: you are a good bully; You yourself are really wrong, otherwise how can you not defend yourself? You need to express your thoughts, make your comments, and hit back and forth against those who bully you, so that they will understand that you are not a bully and that they have done something wrong.
All in all, people with good tempers and reasonable people are easy to be bullied. Only by correctly recognizing this state of mind of yours will you avoid enduring some unnecessary stuffing.
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