Why do many people become estranged from their adoptive parents after finding their biological paren

I also have two families, but on the one hand, I am the adoptive parents who are harmonious and the husband and wife love and the older brothers and sisters who take me, and on the other hand, the biological parents and family members who don't like it. Close your feelings and be good to yourself first. I wish you the best of your ability to have a happy life of your own, distinguish who you give more companionship to, and who you give more money, don't let yourself regret it, and don't make the people who love you wait too long.

I'm in a similar situation to you, but I'm a girl. It is said that it is also biological, because of family planning + fortune telling, saying that my parents need to have two parents to raise + is a girl, so I gave it away. They have an eldest sister and an eldest brother in their family.

At the very kind request of my adoptive parents, I still have to go to their house once in a while to have a relationship. There was a long time when I thought to myself why I had to be born if I was going to abandon me, wouldn't it be better to just fight me? I don't want to know and don't want to understand what kind of mentality their family has towards me.

There is no good sibling relationship, but the eldest brother and I will have a closer relationship, and many times they can't persuade the eldest brother to do some things, and they will ask me to come forward to help them talk to the eldest brother. But the strange thing is that the eldest brother will tell his parents in front of me that I am someone else's child, and he may have a certain amount of anger at the incident of sending me away back then. The daily relationship is just like that, if I don't have to move around, I basically won't go to their house on my own, after all, I am born and not raised, and my life has nothing to do with their family.

And my adoptive parents also have an older brother on their side, and I love my adoptive parents and my brother and sister-in-law and niece here. Therefore, in many cases, if you want a good family relationship, it is not simply maintained by blood relationship, but more from getting it from getting in the middle of each other.

I think it's best to move around on both sides, the birth parents feel that you are not close to them, and the adoptive parents no longer bear your tuition fees, which means that the adoptive parents feel that you have returned to the birth parents, and they should be responsible! The relationship between the two sides is the most difficult to deal with, you perfunctory, don't be too obvious on both sides, just get by decently, my adoptive parents have passed away, and my biological parents have also admitted it, and the hurdles in my heart still can't be passed, I think they love the raised children around them, that is, my brothers and sisters, then I'll say it! Why am I born to you too, and I can't get the same love and treatment as them?

I was about twelve years old and knew I was adopted. My adoptive parents treated me very, very well, even better than many of my own parents. There was a time when I was very, very eager to find the man and woman who gave birth to me.

Not for the sake of recognition. I just want to look at us from a distance to see if we look alike. Look like I'm more like that man?

It's still that woman. But that's just my mental activity. Not put into action.

I didn't want to make a fuss, and I didn't want to hurt my parents' feelings because of my curiosity. But I can still understand those who want to go back to their birth parents.

I just want to take a cold look at them and tell them how I'm doing, but I won't give them any good. And then never see it, don't give birth if you can't afford it, throw it away when you're done, when I'm something. I'm an outcast, and I want to find them just to be curious about my afterlife, and to know why I'm abandoned, not to recognize them.

Have you ever considered the feelings of your adoptive parents when you go straight to your biological parents?

To put it mildly, you are an adult at the age of 18, and your biological parents come to you when you are 19 years old, and they are here to pick fruit. Don't assume that just because your adoptive parents aren't as good as you think they are, your birth parents can do it. There are too many people in this world who are destined to never get pure love for the rest of their lives, even if they have never left their biological parents.

Acknowledging this early on will make you disappointed in the world one less time.

Whatever the reason for it, they have already given up on you in the first place, so they are not qualified to be a parent again. And where did you leave your adoptive parents in doing so? They treat you as their own child and raise you with hard work, and you go to your biological parents in a blink of an eye?

One just gave birth to you, while the other raised you, giving you a safe environment, a healthy mind, and a complete education. Which is more gracious.

When you become a parent, you should know that people who don't have the same experience won't empathize, but I think if you don't say it, you won't look for it, and if you say it, you won't look for it, and if you say it, you will find it, it's a natural curiosity. I just want to see how they're doing, but I won't recognize each other.

If your adoptive parents are particularly good to you, I don't think you should be abandoned, it may be that your biological parents can't take care of you, so they will abandon you, you shouldn't abandon your adoptive parents.

No, although he was adopted, his adoptive parents also fulfilled their due obligations to themselves, so they should not go to their biological parents.

Of course, you should not abandon your adoptive father and mother, raising kindness is greater than birth, raising a child is very hard, adoptive parents can raise you, and it has taken a lot in the process.

No, it's because your adoptive parents worked hard to raise you, and they also gave you all their love, which will make your adoptive parents feel very cold.

You need to constantly clarify your heart, and you can ask these three questions yourself:

1.If you could meet your biological parents, would they answer some of the doubts in your life? Or does it meet some of your needs?

2.If you don't see them, what is the most regrettable thing for you?

3.What does the number of your biological parents mean to you?

After these 3 questions, you probably understand your true wishes.

As for whether it will hurt your adoptive parents, it doesn't really depend on whether you are looking for your biological parents, but how you treat them.

In the past 30 years, you have been getting along overnight, and the family relationship you have cultivated is not solid enough.

In addition, there is one more thing that you need to seriously consider, once you find your biological parents, how do you plan to interact with them?

Is it only once? Is it the same maintenance obligation as a normal child? Or is it just a visit during the New Year's holidays?

Confirming the boundaries of getting along in the future will reduce unnecessary tugging and will also reduce the possible harm.

Finally, I want to say to you, looking for your biological parents is not a betrayal of your adoptive parents, but suppressing your true wishes is a betrayal of yourself.

Hope it helps you and good luck.