How do you get out of your grief after you leave?

For a heartless person like me, if a loved one dies, it may be a week at the earliest, or a month at the slowest to get out of the predicament.

During my academic career, four of my closest relatives left me, one was my grandmother in my sophomore year of high school, one was my grandfather who passed away on the day of my college entrance examination, one was just admitted to college, and my father left me the day after filling out the volunteers, and the last one was my grandfather who was about to graduate from college.

At such an age, I met a soul that could hardly bear such pain, and I was almost numb to all this. Many people say that when they see their classmate's relatives pass away, we should persuade him to look away, but in fact, I can say that your relatives have left you, can you see it yourself, we can't say those useless words. What we can do is leave him alone for a few days, because what they need to think about is almost different from what we think.

The pain of a loved one's departure can only be solved by oneself, and it is not something that others come to consult.

When we try to comfort others, we shouldn't talk about it, because when we do, it's just rubbing salt in the wound. With the departure of our loved ones, we don't need to tell everyone how to get out of the predicament, everyone has their own way.

When we see our friend's relatives leave, we better not talk about it, because this kind of pain, you can't feel it, such a wound, such a tear, he understands. Even if you experience it yourself, you can't feel the pain of him. When everyone's relatives leave, they will hurt themselves to the same extent.

In the end, I realized a truth for myself, our loved ones are gone, do we all have to be sad all day long? When your dearest relatives know this, he doesn't want you to be like this, and he also wants us to live well.

It varies from person to person. But for most people, it takes three years to truly come out of their grief. The memories left in the hearts of the dearest are profound, so that people will inadvertently see the scene and fall in love, and the feelings of longing will inevitably arise.

The thoughts, helplessness, and sorrow can only be experienced by those who have experienced it.

Time is the most sincere friend to erase sadness, in the thoughts, in the touch of time, a little bit of dilution of memory, let people out of the shadows to continue the road of life. May the pain be kept away and let happiness accompany us forward.

There's no way to say this, it's up to the individual.

In 2012, my father died, I was still a sophomore in high school, that time was really difficult, I felt that it was not much worse than the end of the world, my mother and I washed our faces with tears every day, I really didn't know what to do in the future, and I remembered that I had not done my filial piety well and my heart was like a knife.

During that time, I couldn't see other people's parents picking up and dropping off their children, I couldn't listen to the three words of the parent-teacher meeting, and the song "Father" in the street shopping mall would make me cry involuntarily, and I couldn't help but walk around when I saw the ** seller.

It was about the third year of high school, and this situation improved, because the study pressure was very heavy, I desperately wanted to get into a good university, and slowly remembered my father a lot less often, and now, I can write this text calmly without tears, and I can control my emotions when I go to the grave every year.

And my mother has not been relieved from the matter of my father's departure, relatives and friends have advised her to find another one, as soon as she heard others say this, she was furious and scolded that person out of my house, she still can't cook, taught her countless times and still can't learn, because it used to be my father's cooking at home, she was spoiled by her father, and she couldn't even hold a kitchen knife.

This kind of thing, everyone has to go through, how long it takes to get out or whether you can get out, everyone is different, just like the forty-year-old uncle next door to our family, his old mother died, he went crazy, and he is still locked up by his family and not allowed to see anyone.

Those who leave are gone, and our lives still have to go on, and the people of heaven don't want us to indulge in mourning for too long, I believe.

How long does it take for a person to come out of the grief of a loved one's departure? It's hard to say, everyone's thoughts, willpower and life are all different, there is a woman in my neighboring village who is in her forties, and her husband works in the same factory in Guangdong, and her husband never wakes up after sleeping, and five years have passed so far, and he has not come out of his grief.

Some for 5 years, some for 10 years, and some can't get out of the sad state of mind for life.

When the loved one just left, this painful feeling was suppressed by the stress reaction, and some deceased relatives looked no different from normal people, at least some people did not collapse on the outside. The more intense the grief at the memorial service, the shorter the self-repair period for the loved one, and the return to normal life in 1 to 2 years. The more normal the performance during the memorial service, the slower the self-repair period will be.

The most critical period starts from half a month after the departure of relatives, some cavities and trance, some will fall into painful memories for 1 to 2 years and cannot extricate themselves, some 5 years can not extricate themselves, some 10 years can not extricate themselves, and some can not get out of normal life for life. In my free time, I can't help but reminisce about my deceased loved ones.

White-haired people send black-haired people rarely don't recall the past, some will be depressed, and some people will not be normal. The longer you live together, the more painful your life is to live in a room where there are traces of your deceased loved ones. When a loved one dies at a normal age, every loved one in the world has an emotional transition period, and the self-repair period helps him get out of depression and return to a normal life.

The pain left by the abnormal early death of relatives is even more profound, and it can be said that it will not be forgotten for life, unless the environment is changed, and there is another substitute in the family to help them return to normal life, it is difficult to get out of the painful memory for life.

Hello, listen to your question, feel your emotions, feel your state, feel your helpless ......In the same way, I have also felt your mood, your situation, think about how I came out, and share it with you.

Grief. 1. Allow and accept your emotions while things are happening

First of all, the death of a loved one, we will be sad and sad, and even let ourselves be very depressed, feel depressed, very confused, and trapped in a helpless state for a period of time. I can't accept the impermanence of life. Especially for others who are very important to themselves, the loved one who used to be so dependent on him, watching him leave us, how can we not accept such a reality for a period of time.

So this kind of psychological trauma is a big blow to people, so we have to give ourselves time to heal from psychological trauma, and we must allow ourselves to be sad and sad. Give yourself permission. There was a time when I couldn't get out of the emotions of the death of a loved one.

To accept Fenghui's self, to allow yourself to grieve, sad, mourn and mourn. Also give yourself a time when a loved one has passed away and is no longer in your reality, in your space, and you are going to accept.

2. Think of making yourself mourn the death of a loved one

Depending on how important each person is to his or her departed loved one, the degree of closeness to the loved one and his or her is different, the time each person needs to mourn, and the way they need to come out is also different.

At that time, I was going to do what I liked to do between myself and my relatives, to cook the dishes that my relatives had cooked for me, to cook for myself, and to keep chewing on the love that my relatives had given me at that time.

In the dead of night, I have a heart-to-heart conversation with my deceased relatives before going to bed. Say what you want to say to him. Let's feel with my heart what kind of feelings he has for his lost relatives and what he has to say unfinished words.

Feel what you want to say to your departing relatives?

In addition, during this period, I continued to write down what I wanted to say to my relatives by writing a diary, and I also used my heart to appreciate the departed relatives and how he wanted me to ...... nowI want to have an interactive and psychological dialogue with him.

I pray for the blessings of the people of heaven, and I also hear my relatives in heaven saying to me that he does not want to see me sad and sad, and that he wants me to treat myself well in this desperate and helpless state, which is the greatest consolation for him.

After a period of self-healing and self-healing, I feel that I have healed seventy or eighty percent of my sadness and sadness through the above methods.

Prays. 3. Go into the psychological counseling room and ask the counselor to help you finish the part of the emotion that you didn't finish dealing with in the end, the mourning

The above sharing, I hope to give you a little companionship.

The loss of a loved one is a very painful thing, and this pain can last for a long time and even affect our daily life. Here are some tips that may help you get through the pain of losing a loved one:

Seek support: Talk to family, friends, psychologists or support groups to let them know that you are going through this pain so that they can help you face and laugh at the loss of a loved one.

Accept the past: While the loss of a loved one is painful, it is inevitable and accepting it is the first step. Time can heal slowly over time.

Seek professional help: If you feel that you cannot cope with the loss of a loved one on your own, or if your pain has lasted for a long time, you may consider seeking professional help, such as a psychologist or clinical psychologist.

In conclusion, the loss of a loved one is a very painful thing, but it is unavoidable, and we need to accept it and seek support to alleviate this pain. Our relatives have given infinite love in their lives, they will remain in our hearts forever, and we must continue to live and work hard for them.