I m going to run jokes, run go kart jokes

A group of great scientists were playing with Tibetan cats in heaven after they died, and it was Einstein's turn to catch people, and when he counted to 100, he opened his eyes and saw that everyone was hiding, only Newton was still standing.

Albert Einstein walked over and said, "Newton, I've got you." ”

Newton: "No, you didn't catch Newton. ”

Albert Einstein: "You are not Newton, who are you?" ”

Newton: "What do you see under my feet?" ”

Einstein looked down and saw Newton standing on a square floor tile that was one meter long and wide, and was puzzled.

Newton: "It's a square meter under my feet, and I'm standing on it and it's Newton, so you're not grabbing Newton, you're grabbing Pascal." ”

A county magistrate with a strong accent came to the village to make a report:

Bunnies, shrimps! Don't pickle melon, pickles are too expensive!! "Note: Comrades, villagers, don't speak, it's time for the meeting!!

After the county magistrate finished speaking, the host said, "Pickles, please sausage pickles!" "Note

Then the host said: "Shrimp, don't have pickles, I'll pick up a shit for you to lick." (Folks, don't speak, I'll tell you a story.) ）

3.Named: "It's me".

Whistleblower: "I report!!

Administrator: "Who?" ”

Whistleblower: "That's me".

Administrator: "Very well, fulfill your ......."Envelope! ”

Whistleblower: "....Help, ......”

Tang Seng and the four of them took a plane to travel, and the plane crashed on the way, but there were only three parachutes.

So, Tang Seng said, everyone come to answer the question, and jump down if you can't answer.

Tang Seng: Wukong, how many suns are there in the sky?

Wukong: One.

Tang Seng: Okay, I'll give you a handful.

Tang Seng: Sha Seng, how many moons are there in the sky?

Sha Seng: One.

Tang Seng: Okay, I'll give you a handful too.

Bajie on the side is so happy, such a simple question.

Tang Seng: Bajie, how many stars are there in the sky?

Bajie jumped.

It wasn't long before the four of them flew on a tour again. It was wrecked on the way, and there were still only three parachutes.

Tang Seng: Wukong, when was the People's Republic of China founded?

Wukong: 1949.

Tang Seng: Okay, I'll give you a handful.

Tang Seng: Sha Seng, how many people died in the Liberation War?

Sha Monks: 2.5 million.

Tang Seng: Okay, I'll give you a handful too.

Tang Seng: Bajie, what are the names of the 2.5 million people?

..Bajie had no choice but to jump again.

The third time, the four of them took another plane to travel, and there was another accident on the way.

At this time, Bajie said: Master, you don't need to ask, I'll jump by myself.

Then he jumped.

Tang Seng clasped his hands: Amitabha, there are four parachutes this time!

will".

Son: "Dad, how do you write the word 'will' in simplified words?" ”

Father: "There is a cloud word under the human character." ”

Son: "Why?" ”

Father: "When you have a meeting, you can say whatever others say, and it's called 'everyone is in the clouds'." ”

Eat only a ton. The young man decided to go to his hometown in the countryside for a wedding. The man's father sent a telegram to his in-laws in the city and asked, "How many people can come?" Be prepared. ”

The in-laws called back and said, "There are not many people to go, just prepare a ton of food." He wrote "ton" as "ton."

Soon I received a telegram from the countryside: "The wedding date has been postponed for one month, because it is difficult to gather a ton of rice for a while." "Api Egg is the truth.

Director Jia said excitedly: "Today, the union invoice to watch the movie "The True Story of Api Egg". ”

A young man smiled: "Director Jia, you read it wrong, that's "The True Story of Ah Q". "What? I read it wrong!? Lao Tzu has been playing cards for decades, don't you still know the preserved eggs, go away? ”

The old man lost his teeth. The two took their grandfather to the hospital to see a doctor. The husband saw that the "age" of the age on the ** list was misprinted as "order", so he said to the doctor: "This word 'order' omitted a 'tooth' word." ”

It's a 'tooth' word, the doctor said, because we are an outpatient clinic for the elderly! ”

Dr. Qu Yuan. In history class, the teacher is the same student: "Who is Qu Yuan?" ”

Nonsense! "What nonsense, the book says he's a doctor! ”

Basketball coach.

An athlete shoots and doesn't score five times in a row.

The coach said, "Stupid, look at me." "But the coach also threw five times, and still didn't score. "See! That's what you just voted for. The coach said.

1.The chimpanzee accidentally stepped on the gibbon's poop, and the gibbon gently and carefully scrubbed it clean, and they fell in love. People ask how they came together? The chimpanzee said with emotion: Ape droppings! It's all ape dung!

There were two people, one named Hee Hee and the other Haha, one day Haha died, and Hee Hee said, "Haha, you are dead." ”

A village chief drank too much and went home into the pigsty by mistake, lay down next to the sow and said: Wife: Pour me a glass of water, the sow snorted, the village chief said, if you don't pour it, you won't pour it, what kind of coquettishness. Touch it casually and say: buy a leather coat, or double-breasted.

When Kende Chicken was just popping chicken rice, an old lady ran to it and said to the waiter, "Let's have some diced chicken." "Laugh to death

Out of humanitarian love, I want to adopt an orphan in the earthquake area of Japan, and I ask for a woman between 16-22 years old, female, with a sweet voice, an angelic appearance, and a devilish figure...

Qiu San'er went to the breakfast shop to eat breakfast and asked for a bowl of wontons. After a while, the waiter brought the wontons to him.

Looking at the wonton with the waiter's thumb dipped in the soup, Qiu San'er said, "Man, you might as well put your whole hand in the bowl, I'll ask for a bowl of pork knuckle noodles!" ”

Once upon a time there was a man... And then died... It's over (cold bar).

Stealing vegetables (love buying and selling) is hilarious.

Steal my food and give it back to me.

When I finally knew the truth, tears fell from my eyes.

You stole my food, you have a debt of conscience.

No matter how much gold I pay back, I won't be able to get it back.

Originally, if you wanted to steal vegetables, you would steal vegetables.

Now he wants to give me back the money and coax me away.

Stealing vegetables is not about buying and selling, and if you want to buy it, you can buy it.

Let me break away and let me understand that I'm going to steal vegetables too.

Rap: Steal your food and give it back to you.

My tears also fell when I saw you in pain.

I stole your food, and I was in debt of conscience.

No matter how much gold you repay, you won't be able to buy it back.

Although I was the one who wanted to steal the vegetables at the beginning, I realized later.

Now I'm using my gold coins to hope to coax you along.

I understand that I was wrong, stealing vegetables like you said.

It's not a sale, even if you buy it, you can't sell it.

Steal my food and give it back to me.

When I finally knew the truth, tears fell from my eyes.

You stole my food, you have a debt of conscience.

No matter how much gold I pay back, I won't be able to get it back.

Originally, if you wanted to steal vegetables, you would steal vegetables.

Now he wants to give me back the money and coax me away.

Stealing vegetables is not about buying and selling, and if you want to buy it, you can buy it.

Let me break away and let me understand that I'm going to steal vegetables too.

It's too unexpected to hurt me and steal vegetables.

Vegetables that have been watered with care wilt to understand.

Stealing vegetables is not about buying and selling, and if you want to buy it, you can buy it.

Let me see through that people who grow vegetables are not worthy to harvest them.

Originally, if you wanted to steal vegetables, you would steal vegetables.

Now he wants to give me back the money and coax me away.

Stealing vegetables is not about buying and selling, and if you want to buy it, you can buy it.

Let me break away and let me understand that I'm going to steal vegetables too.