Complaining about life every day, how to change your life?

Instead of complaining, it is better to take action and find out the reasons for your complaint, such as thinking that you are making less money, then improve your work ability, or do a side hustle.

Make your own efforts. Instead of complaining about life, it is better to seize the time to study hard and make yourself excellent in order to change your life.

Changing your life should start every day, and only by paying attention to every little detail can you make a big difference in your life.

The first thing to do is to change your mindset. Knowing contentment is said to be content. Lower your expectations, and your disappointment will decrease. Change your previous lifestyle, try something you haven't tried before, learn to reward yourself, and your happiness will increase.

1. Festinger's Law:

The American social psychologist Festinger has a very famous judgment:

The 10 in life is made up of what happens to you, and the other 90 is determined by how you react to what happens. In other words, there are 10% of things in life that we can't control, and the other 90% that we can control.

2. The power to stop complaining:

As long as you have the desire to break through the predicament, change the attitude of complaining, and actively do what you should do at the moment, then you will be able to break through the difficulties and continue to move forward towards the goal of pursuit. Let's make up our minds and get rid of the bad habit of complaining!

Festinger's contributions to psychology are mainly derived from the research results in two aspects of social psychology:

1) Social Comparison Theory

This theory was proposed by Festinger in his 1954 essay on social comparison**, which states that individuals in a group have a psychological tendency to compare themselves with others in order to determine their self-worth, and are influenced by social situations, and individuals sometimes compare themselves with those who are better than themselves, and sometimes compare them with those who are inferior to themselves, in order to pursue self-worth.

2) Cognitive dissonance theory

This theory was proposed by Festinger in his 1957 book Cognitive Dissonance, and the basic idea of cognitive dissonance theory is that when an individual is faced with a new situation and must express his or her attitude, the individual will have a situation in which the new cognition (new understanding) and the old cognition (old belief) will conflict with each other.

In order to eliminate the tension caused by inconsistency, individuals tend to use two ways of self-adjustment: one is to deny the new cognition; The other is to seek more information about new cognitions, enhance the credibility of new cognitions, and completely replace old cognitions, so as to achieve psychological balance. This theory is essentially the main theory to explain the intrinsic motivation of individuals, so it is widely used as an important basis for explaining individual attitude changes.

Complaining comes through the mouth, and when a person says too much complaining, it affects his emotions and actions. It takes action to realize love, action to achieve security, action to get rich, and action to realize dreams. If people have no action, they will achieve nothing, and they will do nothing.

And complaining will affect action, so resolutely do not complain.

The first time I was deeply impressed by the word complaining was when there was a classmate in the dormitory of the university, and every day before going to bed, when everyone chatted, she would count and complain in various ways, and the reasons and reasons shocked my jaw. Someone else accidentally bumped into her, someone else looks better than her, someone else is taller than her, someone is thinner than her, someone else is better than her, someone else is better than her, etc., can cause her dissatisfaction and resentment, at that time, I knew for the first time that there were so many reasons for complaining that I couldn't figure out, and I never knew that a person could have such a big negative emotion. Slowly, everyone paid careful attention, tried to avoid topics that could arouse her emotions, and even kept silent, for fear of saying something wrong that would ignite her emotions.

After graduating from college, I naturally cut off contact. I really want to tell her that if I don't change what I can change, just sit there and complain, the status quo will not get better because of this, except for increasing my own troubles and keeping the people around me away, it is not beneficial.

Friend's mother, strong and strong, likes to be domineering, rarely considers problems from the position of others, has been complaining about her ex-husband after the divorce, abandoning his wife and children, going to live with other women to raise other people's children and not raising his own own children, telling his son not to be like his father in the future, her son is slightly unhappy, she will split her head and face to blame and complain, she is not as good as raising her son as Tong stupid to raise a cat and dog, at least obedient, as if the whole world owes her. A friend said that when he got divorced, his father kowtowed to his mother three times, said thank you and let him go, and walked away without looking back. That image lingered in his mind.

He said that if he had a choice, he would not have grown up in such a family, he was too depressed, and he didn't know if he would go crazy one day. Mom is obviously a strong woman, but there are always things to complain about, he is the only loyal listener who can't leave, he must listen to it, otherwise the consequences are unimaginable, what he is most willing to do is to drink too much every day and go home, just sleep, because he will not be disturbed.

I would like to say to those who are accustomed to complaining instead of actively seeking solutions, if you really love yourself and the people around you, from now on, be a person who does not complain, at least do not take complaining as the norm of life, you don't know how much trouble and pressure your complaint will bring to the people around you. Instead of spending time complaining, take the time to calm yourself down, find ways to solve it, make changes, and maybe when you start making changes, you will be able to complain less and less, and you will become more positive as a result.

You only have one life, so why not experience as many good life experiences as possible, and spend precious time complaining? Life is never meant to be complained about, but needs to be changed. May we all face life more positively and optimistically, maybe inadvertently, life will give you a big surprise.

I will change myself. In real life, when faced with difficulties, most people choose to change themselves. However, the reality is that they are complaining about life, and few people can change themselves.

When you encounter injustice, your heart is extremely unbalanced. Of course, you will lament and complain about the injustice of life and the injustice of society. Complaining is useless, it can't change your life predicament, but many people complain and vent when the fire in their hearts goes out and they are comfortable, after which there is still hard work.

Over time, complaining can lead to a fixed pattern of pessimism. When you have a problem, the first thing you see is the negative side of the problem. In the long run, it can affect your health and may even ruin your life.

If there is a problem, find the problem from yourself first, because it is easy to change yourself, but it is difficult to change others.

When I was in high school, my homeroom teacher always told us not to complain about the teacher's teaching methods. After all, he knows more than you do. His teaching methods work for the whole class.

What you think is bad is not necessarily bad. You have to learn to adapt to the teacher's teaching style, and don't expect the teacher's teaching style to adapt to you. The world is so big, you can't ask others to cater to you, and you can't ask life to cater to you, so you can only change yourself and let yourself cater to the people and life that need it.

It's better to change yourself than to complain. For people and things you don't like, changing yourself is the best and easiest way. When faced with problems, most people want to change the world first, but few start by changing themselves.

In such a life, the suffering suffered when you were young is not suffering, but just a springboard. People complain because they are on the springboard, and the hardest thing is not the moment of jumping, but the inner struggle, hesitation, helplessness and annoyance before jumping. It is impossible to talk to others.

We thought we couldn't jump, but we closed our eyes and plucked up the courage to jump over anyway. So you think it's hard to change yourself, but it's actually much easier than changing the world.

will change yourself, there will be a lot of difficulties in life, so when facing life, you will change yourself first to make yourself better.

will change yourself, let yourself have strength, work hard to improve your current situation, let yourself have stronger economic strength, and complaining about life will only produce a lot of negative energy.

will change themselves, because only by changing themselves can they better adapt to life and make their lives better.

Writer Yang Daxia Yang Ke sent a message, let yourself adapt is maturity.

It will change itself, everyone has a different life, change yourself, so that you can get used to this kind of life, you can live a better life.

The main reason is that young people feel that life is not easy, especially if they have no income in the past two or three years, so they control the flower nightLife is not easy, and we are eager to meet warm-hearted people.

At home, it is good to have a warm-hearted lover who thinks of you in everything, speaks in a measured manner, and never makes you angry;

In the unit, there is a warm-hearted group, who don't care about everything, don't laugh or talk, and never talk to you, how good;

Outside, there is a group of warm-hearted people, there are people to help them in everything, everyone is kind, and they never blush with you, how good. If there is such an opportunity, I am afraid that he will be the happiest person in the world. I want to be such a person, I don't think anyone wants to.

However, looking back at myself, is he a person who thinks about his lover in everything at home? I always want my lover to treat myself well, but do I treat my lover well! The ancients said that respecting each other is like a guest, do you treat your lover as a guest?

Perhaps, it was okay when I got married for a while, but after a long time, my lover's face was wrinkled, not beautiful, and she was vulgar, so she got tired of it. There are frequent quarrels, and it is not pleasing to anyone who looks at them. So when you ask people to be nice to you, first you have to be nice to people.

Those who love love to return, and the love is deep when the love is true. On the contrary, complainers complain and ...... when they are upset

In the unit, you are eager to meet a group of warm-hearted groups, everyone is a group of harmonious, empathetic, do not care about things, the overall amount of others, every day smiling at you, only Chun seems to never quarrel with you. But have you done that? Do you give your brightest smile to your colleagues every day?

Do you think about your colleagues and leaders every day? Don't you ever take your anger out on others? If so, congratulations, you must be the most popular person and the happiest person; But the fact is that you always bring emotional defeat on your face, one will be sunny and one will be cloudy, one will be bad, one will be that bad, and one will be bad, and say that it is wrong in front of colleagues, although it is not a big deal, but it makes people feel that you are always a little wrong, colleagues are alienated from you, and the leader does not trust you, so such a day can be called a good day.