Why are painful memories hard to forget, but happy things not much to remember?

Because pain is like a wound, but it is spiritual. You don't understand the willingness to get hurt, you don't know how to avoid the same injury next time, the brain retains this memory, reminds you that this is an unfinished task, until you understand the cause and effect and the method of dissolution, your memory will automatically convert this clarity into knowledge and preserve, without fear and pain inertia. It's wonderful, isn't it?

Happiness is not remembered because these happiness may not be real happiness, it is a kind of satisfaction of the false self, vanity, pride, superiority, etc., these happiness itself does not instill strength into the mind itself, but feeds the false self, when people only face themselves, there will be no kind of defense in the face of outsiders, that is, the false self, and you will not feel the happiness of the false self, this is the mechanism of the person itself to remind you to be the real and free self, human design is not very smart, right? <>

Because from the age of 2, the disease walked in step by step, and the demon deteriorated step by step. It also took away my right hand, lost my ability to take care of myself, and lost my ability to learn due to the sequelae of viral encephalitis caused by fever. At the age of 7, the seizures became more and more severe, and I decided to have surgery, and before the operation, I said that my right leg and right eye would be affected, and I agreed.

But there are some things that you have to face yourself, no one can replace you, and it is a difficult problem to go out to pay New Year's greetings on the first day of the New Year, not because you can't go out, but because you rarely go out, it's very strange. Plus the legs are affected can not be directly and very conservative. If you don't want to go to the New Year, you have to pay New Year's greetings, and you can't escape it.

It hurts very much in the hospital, I can only insist on it, from what I feel is bitter to swallow, bitterness is a sweet antidote, how to grow without going through hardships, even if I cry and cry, I have to face it with a smile, sometimes I want to cry happily, not sad, crying and laughing and crying. I can't remember much about happiness, and I can't forget the sad things in the past.

As we all know, it is easy to forget the happy things in life, but the sad things can be remembered for a long time, because sad things can leave shadows and scars in people's hearts. At this time, it takes time to heal, and even after healing, I will think about it from time to time, and I will also feel uncomfortable. <>

Whether it is in the process of falling in love or in daily life, everyone will have some happy things and some sad things. You must know that most people's memories are very short, so when you encounter something happy, you will only remember that moment, and your heart is very happy. There will be many joyful things in life, so the joy brought by these happy things will be ignored.

However, sad things rarely appear, and everyone's ability to accept them is very different, so the damage that sad things may leave in the heart is also different. <>

You must know that some people's emotions are very sensitive, so a little sadness can be remembered for a long time, and the psychological damage caused by this sadness is also huge. In addition, when something sad happens, I will reflect on my behavior and behavior, so as to think about my own problems, and my sad emotions will continue to rotate in my brain. Maybe during the day, I don't feel anything, but in the dead of night, I will be thoughtless by myself, and even when I do something, my thoughts will fly away, and I will think of these sad pasts, which will drive my emotions.

Therefore, it is recommended that once you encounter something sad and sad, you must volatilize this emotion in time, whether it is to experience extreme sports, or to go shopping and play with your friends, you must dissipate this emotion. Only in this way, no matter when I mention it in the future, I will not be trapped by this emotion, and I will also calmly say sad things.

First of all, because sadness is relatively painful and painful, so painful things will make people remember them for a little longer.

Mainly due to the fact that our brain selectively remembers some impressive things, sad things tend to leave a shadow on the heart, which takes a relatively long time to take, and may also cause certain wounds that take time to heal.

It may be because sad things can leave a deeper impression on oneself, and sadness can last longer, and it is difficult for people to get out of troubles.

In "Those Obstacles to Love", the author Shen Wanjiu explains: "Because painful memories often threaten a person's survival, instinctively, the brain is more inclined to imprint these memories to avoid falling into the same situation in the future." ”

That is, you will be impressed by painful memories, not for no reason, but because your brain thinks these painful memories threaten your survival, so in order to protect you from being hurt again, you will keep them firmly in mind.

This inevitably reminds people of people who have been hurt in their feelings. When a relationship breaks down, it is often in deep pain and unable to extricate itself.

Even after many years, when I think back to the bits and pieces of the past and each other, I will feel a tingling feeling in my heart. In the final analysis, it is because I have never gotten out of the hurt of this relationship.

In fact, in life, there are many similar phenomena. For example, many people who have been hurt in their relationships and are afraid of being hurt again will be overly protective of themselves, afraid to love, dare not trust others, and even do not believe that they are worthy of love, so there will always be a shadow hidden in their hearts that prevents them from achieving happiness.

However, when we begin to flee from the shadows, we are likely to be swallowed up by the shadows eventually.

In the book, the author tells a fable of two kittens.

Once upon a time there were two kittens, one named Chubby and the other Tiantian, and they both hated their shadow and desperately wanted to get rid of it.

Later, they found that wherever there was sunlight, they would see shadows that they hated, so they each came up with a solution.

Chubby's way is to keep his eyes closed forever, while Tiantian's way is to hide herself in the shadows of other things forever.

There is no doubt that they can avoid seeing their own shadows, but the cost is indeed huge, one will live in the darkness forever, and the other will never enjoy the warmth of the sun.

This can't help but make people regret, feeling that these two kittens are cocooning themselves, so that their lives are no longer full of sunshine and color.

But in fact, many times, when we face the shadows in our lives, we will do the same. For example, when we break up with someone we love, we often find it difficult to accept the reality and let ourselves be deeply in pain.

However, if we don't know how to get rid of the negative emotions in our hearts.

Our energy will be depleted, and these negative emotions will eat away at our souls and make us lose the courage to love.

Only by facing the shadow of our hearts can we find a way to remove it and rejuvenate our hearts.

So what can be done exactly?

In the book "Those Obstacles to Love", the author Shen Wanjiu introduces us to a method called imagery dialogue**.

What is imagery dialogue**?

To put it simply, it is to understand the client's subconscious mind by inducing the client to imagine.

Psychological conflict and modification of the client's subconscious imagery to achieve the best effect.

What is the core of this approach? It is to replace the negative consciousness in the client's subconscious with positive imagery. And then the visitor in reality.

Because happy times always make people feel that time flies quickly, so the memories are not very deep, and those painful moments will make people feel like years and feel deep memories.

People always remember painful memories but forget happy times. This is mainly due to the fact that happy times are relatively short-lived. And the mood at that time was also relatively happy.

Happy memories are not stored, and painful memories can affect people's mood. It will make people remember these painful things. Therefore, painful memories can always be remembered, and happy moments are quickly forgotten.

Painful memories can make us feel especially painful and make a particularly deep impression on us. So painful memories can feel very real and unforgettable. And the happy times are sometimes remembered by us, but they are often worse than the painful memories.

Because happy times are always too short, and we sometimes can't remember them.

I can always remember the painful memories, but forget the happy times, mainly because the painful memories bring endless pain to people, and the painful words are often deeply rooted in people's hearts and are unforgettable for a long time. But happy times bring happiness to people, it is a comfortable enjoyment, this kind of memory will only stay on the surface, and there is no way to really go deep into people's hearts. That's why I forgot about the happy times.

This is the mentality of normal people, because happiness is the brain secretion of dopamine, and happiness secretes dopamine, just a short time to be satisfied with the past and the pain brought about by hypnosis, this is a long time, people can not wander for 10 years and half a month, and the pain is difficult to extricate themselves, so the painful memories are particularly powerful.

I can always remember painful memories, but I forget happy times, because painful memories are often deeply rooted in people's hearts, and they are unforgettable memories for people. And happy times bring happiness, it is to make people forget their troubles and sorrows, this kind of memory will only stay on the surface of people's hearts, and can not reach the extent of penetrating into people's hearts.

I'm afraid this is a feeling that many people will have, often those things that make people feel painful, how many years later will not be forgotten? But I can't remember the good things that make me happy.

This is also very easy to understand, for example, when you have a cup of cold boiled water in your hand, you can be leisurely, but if it is a cup of very hot boiling water, you will feel that you can't hold it.

Some things, some people, if you deliberately choose to forget, then it means that you don't want to forget at all, and in the final analysis, feelings are really your own business.

There are too many touching love stories in the world, maybe you are experiencing an enviable love now, but you also have to learn to cherish it. The greatest happiness in life is to be able to get a heart that loves you and cares for you all the time. Don't forget that love is like sand in your hand, and the tighter you hold it, the more you will lose.

Human life is very short, no matter what we encounter, it is worth remembering, whether it is sad or painful, these are written on the road of our growth.

It only took ten minutes to fall in love with him, but it took a lifetime to forget him, and the result is still unforgettable.

Some people say that a man's heart follows his feet, and wherever his feet go, his heart follows there, while a woman's feet follow his heart, and his heart follows wherever his feet go, and this sentence is very reasonable.

How long does it really take to forget a loved one? Many people say that time dilutes everything, but this sentence is actually wrong. To forget someone, the premise is that you really want to forget. It's easy to forget, but it's hard to make up your mind.

Some people will always be engraved in their memories, even if they forget his voice, forget his smile, forget his face, but the feeling when they think of him will never change.

The more you want to forget, the more you remember it. It's easy to know someone, but it can take a lifetime to forget someone! Since you can't forget, don't forget, why force yourself.

To love someone you don't have to have her, put her in the warmest corner of your heart. When I miss her, I open the door of my heart ......Sometimes missing someone is also a kind of happiness!

Being able to remember painful memories but forgetting happy times is often because painful memories bring people very deep memories, and this kind of memory is deep in people's hearts and cannot be easily erased. And happy time often brings people a comfortable and comfortable life, which will not penetrate into the marrow of people.

Because for many people, the memory of pain is very deep, so it is always difficult to forget, but happiness is relatively short-lived, and some people will take it for granted, so they will not pay attention to it and remember.

Because there are always too many similarities in the feeling of happiness, this kind of happy time is the main axis of life, and too many similar happiness are superimposed on you to make you not remember it deeply, so that you forget.

And painful memories often make you engrave in the depths of memory, it is heart-piercing, painful, and has long been engraved in the memory of your mind. It's a memory that can't be replaced by other events, so it's something you'll never forget.

In fact, this is not the case, often happy times will not be forgotten, but painful memories are subconsciously chosen to forget.

It's just that it's too painful, and I want to forget but can't forget it.