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Many people believe that having a lot in common is a sign that two people are "fit" together. Under the influence of this perception, most singles will try to find people who share the same interests and hobbies as them when looking for a partner. They believe that these commonalities enhance their similarities and are more likely to help them find the "right person."
What is the truth? The role of similarity is overestimated, and an over-focus on similarity is likely to lead to all sorts of emotional distress. A happy partner is no more "compatible" than an unhappy man or woman.
But if one partner starts complaining, saying "we're so incompatible" or repeatedly emphasizing how different two people are, what they really want to say is "we're not getting along well right now."
Similarities are only temporary, they change over time, and no couple will always be 100% right for each other. A good relationship does not necessarily require a high degree of similarity, and happy couples know how to deal with each other's differences and grow through them. More so, they share deeper values, a sense of meaning and purpose in the relationship and a commitment to growth.
In the process, you can have common values, not common interests.
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There are many benefits, the topics are richer, the resonance has also increased a lot, there is a feeling of combining the two, and the ideas will be unified, which is a very good thing.
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The two change Feng Hu are together, and the most convenient thing is the trivial things in life.
Two people together, three meals regularly. Because if there is a person who is hungry, he will pull the nucleus to stop the other person from eating together. If you and your girlfriend have someone who can cook, you can order food.
Both people can cook and can cook for each other. Occasionally, we also go out to eat together. If you can't cook, you don't need to find someone to be your companion or eat alone when you go to eat.
Live with your best friends and spend money for each other. Especially when eating, shopping, watching movies, traveling, etc., there are people to eat, drink and chat with you, which is super happy. When you are sick, the other party will also take care of you and accompany you to recover, and you are not alone at all.
It will also support you and vent your anger when you are injured.
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It's not an absolute problem that two people have a lot of common topics together, it mainly depends on how we look at and deal with it.
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As long as it's comfortable, no matter what the outward manifestations are.
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1.Communicate calmly.
One of the biggest problems in marriage is the inability of couples to communicate with each other. Both were too stubborn to listen to each other. People with too conflicting tempers are not suitable for marriage.
When the two of them were chatting, a fiery temper came up. How to communicate? The day-to-day life in a marriage is the life of two people.
Living alone, you want to be free; Life for two people is about balance and running-in. How to communicate calmly in marriage? Calm down and don't speak loudly for the other person as if they were your own.
Think about the problem from the other person's point of view, don't refute, and be a good listener.
2.Concerted efforts relative commitment.
What is the most important thing for two people to be together? In marriage, never say you 3Learn not to blame.
In marriage, it is also important to learn not to blame. The more you accuse and question a person, the more rebellious he will be. Our common husband and wife quarrel, always say you, you, you, you, it's all you, you are useless, as soon as this sentence is said, two people will quarrel.
Don't point fingers at each other from your own standpoint.
4.Learn to respect and understand.
In marriage, it is also important to learn respect and understanding. As husbands, we should respect our wives and understand their difficulties in family matters. As wives, we should also respect our husbands and not control a person 24 hours a day like an overseer.
Women should know that everyone is afraid of being controlled, always tired of being controlled, and wants to run away more. Don't manage a man too strictly, the more you manage it, the more dangerous your home will be. What was done.
Family responsibilities are never a one-man business. Each of us bears the corresponding family responsibilities and financial pressures. The wife should understand the husband to a certain extent, and the husband should understand the wife in family trivialities.
One family, two people working together, can live a good life. If the heart is not aligned, it can only get worse and worse, and it will be scattered in twos and twos. Most men have a great wife and a happy family.
5.Learn family chores and don't let your parents get involved.
What is the most important thing for two people to be together? In marriage, the conflict between two people should involve a third person. Once it comes to parents, it's a complete mess.
Handle things yourself and don't let your parents know. Having trouble, a conflict between two people, think about what your ultimate goal is? Whether to live a good life or get divorced, consider the problem and solve the problem with the ultimate goal as the starting point.
It is also worth mentioning that premarital choices are important. At any time, don't make do with getting married. Marriage can't be improvised, let alone improvised. With you alone, you can live a good life; The heart is not aligned, you have saved too much strength, and it is useless.
Choose someone who can talk to you well and handle it calmly no matter what happens. In case of trouble, you can communicate, and you won't bury each other too much. What is the most important thing for two people to be together after getting married?
Maintain love, keep communicating, learn to take on family affairs and financial responsibilities together, learn not to blame, not to question, not to control. As a person who can carry it clearly in marriage, there will also be ordinary and ordinary family happiness.
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Many people who have been married will often say that it is very important to "find a good family", but as everyone knows, this "right family" refers not only to the family background and background, but also to pay attention to the spiritual level, otherwise the emotions of marriage will be shattered by the differences of "the door is not the right family", and it will be really physically and mentally exhausted.
1. Common language. The most direct manifestation of the spiritual level is whether there is a common language, you are talking to him about the world political situation, but he replies to you trivial, like a chicken and a duck talking, you can never find a topic to chat with, slowly you will be alienated, and the spiritual world will feel very lonely.
2. Three views are very important. A person's three views are directly linked to his spiritual world, so if your spiritual world can't be the right one, then your three views may be difficult to agree, two people with different views live together, it is very tiring, and marriage will naturally be useless after a long time.
3. Life goals. In marriage, the husband and wife will be able to achieve long-term harmony if they have the same life goals, but if the husband and wife are inconsistent in spirit and ideas, then it will directly affect the goals and structure of the marriage.
Therefore, many people don't care about the "right match" of family background and family background when they get married, thinking that as long as they have feelings, they can overcome the habits brought by these original families, but I want to say that compared to these, the spiritual family is more important, because it will directly affect whether your married life is relaxed and spiritually happy, so if you want to have a happy marriage, you must not ignore the spiritual match.
I think it's important that two people have a common language, so that the marriage will become happier and happier.
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When two people are together, no matter what problems they are facing, emotional stability is too important. Because under the premise of emotional stability, we can better think about how to deal with or solve the problems we are facing. If the mood is unstable, there may be a big dispute, which will further intensify the problem, which will be more detrimental to the solution of the problem.
Of course, this also applies to all kinds of relationships, e.g. between relatives, friends, etc.
Bad mood is contagious.
Bad emotions are contagious, not only hurting yourself, but also hurting others. Because in the case of a bad mood, there are often irrational behaviors such as saying some cruel words, and these behaviors also greatly hurt the other party's heart. is like a potato sentence: "Good words are warm in three winters, and bad words are hurtful and cold in June".
How do you control your emotions?
1. First of all, you must calm down, and you must think about the tenant before saying anything. Don't say hurtful things because of impulsiveness and the quickest moment.
2. Secondly, empathy, think about it from the other party's standpoint, and figure out the reasons for your bad mood, which is more conducive to prescribing the right medicine and solving the problem.
3. Finally, it is to communicate more and communicate more, so that you can understand what both sides think faster.
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I think it's the same three views, I don't get tired of getting along, and I can say anything.
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A person full of positive energy will make the people around her be infected, she will make people see the beauty and hope in life, therefore, everyone prefers to be close to these people full of positive energy. In marriage, if your other half can see these positive social energy from Ling Xinyun, then his gratitude and feedback to you must be sunny and uplifting items. In this way, marriage will become more and more worth looking forward to, and it will be more and more meaningful.
is a person who can be full of negativity, and she only produces boring, boring and even collapse in her marriage.
I've heard that people do things when they're irrational, and most of them regret it. Therefore, when you are angry, it is best to swallow back what you want to say, because most of what you want to say at this time is to slander the other party, and once the words are spoken, it is difficult to take them back, so when you are especially angry, try not to speak, or simply bypass the other party. Otherwise, one day you will have to take responsibility for what you say.
Everyone must praise, and running a marriage is also to praise the other party often, praise will make a person full of hope drive, a smart person should try to learn to find advantages even if he does not see any good in the other person, and then praise the other party without getting tired of it. On the other hand, if you always hit the other party hard and say demeaning things about him, he can really get worse and worse in the long run, but once he gets worse and worse, it will do you more harm than good to your marriage. Indeed, we have to be a frank person with sincerity, but if you say it can be relaxed and pleasant, isn't it stronger, saying good words is not flattery and hypocrisy, but more concerned about the other party's mentality, more into account of the other party's feelings, therefore, even if a woman with high emotional intelligence is favored in marriage, she will not be pampered and proud, but will apply effective communication methods to make the relationship between the two people better and better.
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Say less about breaking up, belittle each other, deny each other, don't recognize each other, insult each other, and disrespect each other's parents.
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For example, if you break up, or I don't really like the environment in which we live and the two of us don't seem to be suitable, I hate your parents more.
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My brother Bi really hates you and envy Xuqin, can you get out of the way for me, I don't want to see you anymore, the two of us are really finished this time, and there are few words to say.
It's good to be respectful, but if it's too polite, it will seem unfamiliar, and this kind of intangible thing must rely on yourself to grasp the reasonable scale. There is no good or bad conclusion.
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