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Why are you like that? Me too!
As long as people quarrel or talk loudly, my whole body trembles and I even have difficulty breathing! Especially when people you know well quarrel!
This should have something to do with the surrounding environment, anyway, when I was a child, my parents always quarreled, as long as they were loud or noisy, I felt that the space around me was so small, I didn't know 、、、 to hide
Now sometimes I get a little scared when I see other people arguing, so I guess it may be related to the surrounding environment, you must have experienced something similar, otherwise it wouldn't be like this!
You can now change the environment in which you live, and even some people around you, and slowly if you live in a harmonious environment for a long time, your symptoms will be a little better 、、、
I hope you get out of the "frightened" life as soon as possible!
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Find the right time to fight.
Your "quarrel" this time is to solve the problem, not to create a new one. Well, the timing of the quarrel is important.
1. In public places; You can interpret it as a pre-person debate. The goal is to win, to win beautifully. To win, there must be a referee and an audience.
A quarrel in private is just two people tearing up, which will only add to their own blockage.
2. The referee panel is very important; Looking for a wave of quarrels towards oneself, the onlookers are very hilarious, and pulling the bias frame is conducive to output.
3. Do a good job of mental construction in advance; Emotional but calm inside, angry but not overly aggressive. You can't quarrel and accidentally hurt the people around you, scold him in a targeted manner, even if you can't win the sympathy of others, you can't offend others.
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Quarreling is absolutely unacceptable, there is something, there are contradictions or it is best to talk calmly, how to resolve the contradictions, if it is really impossible to solve it peacefully, then there is reason, there is drama, a fierce quarrel, full of anger, every sentence is speechless, dumbfounded, let him be afraid of you, and he will not feel free to quarrel with you in the future.
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I'm not afraid of arguing with people, because in real life, everyone will inevitably quarrel because of differences in thinking, different personalities, and conflicts in the way of doing things. This kind of thing is completely unavoidable, because everyone is not a robot, and it will definitely explode completely when the emotions are high. Therefore, everyone should not focus on the "quarrel" itself, because it is an unavoidable normal phenomenon, on the contrary, rational quarrels and proper resolution of conflicts is the correct way to deal with them without hurting feelings.
Generally speaking, when you encounter this situation, you will take the following steps to solve the problem.
The quarrel is because everyone has a conflict, each other's thinking cannot reach an agreement on a certain matter, and in the end, everyone does not give in, and the verbal conflict detonates each other's emotions, and finally everyone begins to quarrel. And because everyone has lost their minds at this moment, they may not have listened to what the other party said, so the more noisy everyone will become, the more excited they will be. The first thing to do in the face of this situation is not to convince the other person, but to calm down both people first.
Put aside all the problems and wait for the mood to calm down, so that the whole person will become sensible, and there will be a prerequisite for solving the problem.
After everyone calms down, the next thing is to start solving the problem, the quarrel is because of the contradiction, and the contradiction comes down to not knowing each other's thoughts, stubbornness, and finally causing a violent conflict. Therefore, everyone needs to give each other a chance to express their opinions, and they must listen carefully in the process and try to consider the problem from the other party's point of view, so that some estrangements will naturally disappear.
After understanding the other party's appeal, you may be shaken, because what others say also has a certain truth, but at this moment, it is obviously impossible to completely give up your position and compromise with others, so there is only one way, and both sides will give a step. Considering the other party's opinions and re-examining the whole issue will help you negotiate a solution that everyone is comfortable with.
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I'm sure a lot of people are afraid of conflict with others, but the more you are afraid of conflict with others, the conflict won't go away. Everyone's personality is different. Some people are introverted by nature, timid, afraid of arguments, and unable to express their thoughts directly.
Usually they choose to remain silent, adopt a "better let the conflict pass" attitude, and fight against the conflict by avoiding it, thus striving for a peaceful life. However, this approach is not a good way to resolve conflicts. The fear of conflict with people is nothing more than two reasons:
Fear of damage to one's own interests and fear of destroying interpersonal relationships. How can we deal with it at this time, and I will give you a little advice:
2. Cultivate a strong psychology and be calm when encountering problems
You will be afraid of conflict with others because you are not psychologically strong enough. You will be scared because the other person is overwhelming you, or the other person may have taken some of the truth. If you have a strong psychological tolerance, you will be very calm in the face of the other party's pressure.
If you want to change this aspect, you must first adjust your cognition and change your unwillingness to confront others. There is no such thing as a contradiction. Learning about conflict and facing difficulties is a theme of human growth.
Make yourself mentally strong, self-confident and don't be afraid of what you will do if the relationship breaks down. As long as you can solve problems and face life, sometimes confrontation is also needed.
IIIBe confident in yourself and have a firm attitude
It is everyone's right to express their opinions and dissenting opinions reasonably, and it does not mean opposition and hostility to the other party. For conflicts, if there is no mistake, we must take a firm stand, fight based on reason, and do not be afraid! Weakness and tolerance do not bring peace.
To avoid attribution errors, we need to figure out what we need to solve before choosing to be open and silent. At the same time, don't guess the motives of the other person, don't guess the reason for what happened, and certainly don't use the form of an attack to convey the message you want to convey. A lot of people are afraid of conflict.
Once they get into a tense atmosphere, they will unconsciously want to back down and neglect to solve the real problem. Be confident when you encounter a problem and solve it. If you are right, you will fight for it, and if you are wrong, you will correct it!
Summary: Many times, your constant avoidance and retreat will only make others bully you more unscrupulously, so if you want to be strong, you have to learn more. Only those who are strong in heart will not be afraid.
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I was very afraid of arguing with others; If I quarrel with someone, I won't deal with them, I will do my part and avoid arguing with them.
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Personally, I'm not afraid to quarrel with others; When I quarrel with others, I choose to make it clear, find out why we are fighting, and then actively solve the problem.
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1.Calm down: If you're in the middle of a fight, you first need to stop and calm down. Quarrels are not good in themselves, and escalating the situation will only backfire.
2.Give yourself and others time to buffer: When you're calm, think about whether your emotions have calmed down. You need to leave a distance between others and yourself, so that you can calm down and communicate with each other.
3.Think about it from a different angle: When the dispute reaches the point where it is irreconcilable, try to think about the problem from a different angle.
4.Seek help from a third party: If the dispute cannot be resolved, consider seeking help from a third party, such as a counselor, parent, or other administrator, to find a fair resolution.
In conclusion, dealing with quarrels requires patience and sanity. By thinking calmly, thinking differently, and seeking help from a third party, you can ease the situation and find a just solution.
It's a psychological problem, and it's easy not to be afraid.
You can learn self-hypnosis!!
Self-hypnosis is mainly used to solve psychological problems, such as emotions (tension, stress, anxiety), personality (behavioral habits), etc. >>>More
First of all, the most basic thing is not to say dirty words, and then, as they say, read more books, but don't read those that are not nutritious, read those that can broaden your horizons and increase knowledge, so that when you speak, people will feel that you know a wide range, and also, don't be pretentious when you speak, don't make people think that you are too deliberate, talk naturally, of course, timely humor will also add points to your language.
Reflect on yourself, find out the source of your pride, and also measure your ability, quality, knowledge, to see if you are qualified to be proud, and look a little higher, because you compare yourself with people around you who are worse than you, and if you compare yourself with those who are better than you, you will not feel proud.
First of all, let your child be encouraged in social interactions, don't blindly tell him how to get along with others, but guide him slowly. In every detail of life, you can help others, daily greetings, so that children can get happiness in social interaction instead of stress, I hope it can inspire you.