Why do some people feel isolated despite being kind?

Kindness refers to the state of being pure in heart and having no ill will towards others.

Isolation refers to the state of loneliness, helplessness, and helplessness.

According to most people's understanding, since a kind person has no ill will towards others, and is pure and kind by nature, it is impossible to be helpless, but should have many friends and be widely supported.

But in reality, this thing is definitely not that simple.

Kindness comes from the heart. It is a quality that a person shows from the inside out.

However, one's kindness does not necessarily lead to feedback from others.

There is a poem that says it well: "I would have turned my heart to the bright moon, but the bright moon shines on the ditch" ......

A person may be very kind, but the person he is dealing with may not pay attention to his kindness at all. ......The other party ignored the kindness he released, but instead picked his nose and eyes at him, deliberately targeted him, and isolated him.

Such situations are very common in real life.

The reasons for this are roughly as follows:

1. Misunderstanding. Because of misunderstanding, some people will take the kindness from the other person as a deliberate target, so they will not feel the kindness of the other person. ......As a result, good people are misunderstood and wrongly isolated.

2. Deliberately targeted.

Some people are resentful of other people and always want to deliberately target each other. Even if the other party is kind, he turns a blind eye to it, and instead focuses on the other party to isolate him.

3. Defects in dealing with people.

Although some people are kind, they are deficient in dealing with people, and even have defects. ......In this way, unnecessary conflicts will arise in the process of interacting with people, which will put you in a difficult situation, and even if you are kind, you will be isolated.

Why are hypocritical people very popular, but kind people isolated? Do you think it's strange, I think it's normal, after all, the atmosphere of the whole society is like this, in this era when money is king, when kindness and interests conflict, interests always come first, and kindness may be worthless.

We really see that kind people run into walls everywhere, they can't get by in the workplace, they can't do much business, and they have to invite people to have a meal and a gift. Kind people may think that this kind of thing is really corrupt, the corruption of social atmosphere or something, naturally they will not do it, if you don't do it, the hypocritical person will do it, then he will naturally get what he wants.

The relationship between people is not because you are kind, but because there are interests between them.

There is a good saying, "No one asks about the poor in the downtown area, and the rich have distant relatives in the mountains", when you are penniless and useless, you are in the bustling city, and no one will pay attention to you; But if you are rich and powerful, even if you are in the deep mountains and old forests, there will be people who will shout at you and ask for warmth. This is the reality, this is the society, it's not that you don't want to, but human nature is like that.

Hypocritical people are good at being exquisite, able to speak well, and tend to be inflammatory. Seeing people talking about people, talking about ghosts, snobbery. And kind-hearted people disdain to do this, Ding is Ding, Mao is Mao, there are not so many flowery intestines.

Of course, people like to be appreciated and touted, so hypocritical people take advantage of this weakness to approach him, in order to achieve their own goals, deceive themselves, sell their souls, spend money and effort to cater to others and please others, of course, they will be popular.

Kind people naturally don't follow these routines, and they are even more reluctant to stick to it, insisting that kind people are pure in nature, but it is precisely because of this that they have a lot fewer friends, and they are easy to be isolated in the workplace.

Sometimes we have such doubts, many people are obviously hypocritical, but his popularity seems to be particularly good.

On the contrary, some people feel very kind, but they don't trust friends who are often alone.

You will see this phenomenon in other people, and sometimes you will even ask yourself why this is happening to you.

When you're thinking about it, at least it's proof that you're still relatively simple. People who feel hypocritical should not have good popularity, and kind people should be treated gently by others.

Everyone is a person who does things in the workplace, and it is clear that the other party and you are not necessarily close friends. But if you don't have a heart-to-heart, it doesn't mean that you can't have mutual exchanges. Since there is, there is nothing wrong with being a superficial friend.

These things do not harm others or themselves, or harm the outside world that have nothing to do with them, and they can exist, so it naturally makes sense. Who wouldn't want to do something that is only good for themselves?

On the other hand, those who are very kind, the reason why they are isolated is because they are too kind and will not have any interests with others, and naturally no one will revolve around him.

Kind people are not necessarily good at communication and communication skills, coupled with not good at expressing their thoughts, such people are easily forgotten and alienated by everyone, this is not isolated by everyone, but just an illusion.

As long as a kind person has a cheerful personality and a good temper, he will definitely not be isolated by the people around him, and only people with a bad personality and a short temper will be isolated by others.

Whether or not you will be isolated by others is not directly related to whether a person is kind or not, but mainly depends on personality, temperament, and the level of personal communication skills and emotional intelligence.

First of all, we must figure out ourselves, why we are isolated by others, there must be a reason, one is our own reason, the other is the reason of others, first of all, it is my own reason, because it is easier to analyze my own willingness, I am really a character reason, not suitable for being with others in the group, so that others are not willing to get along with myself, or some other reason. Either because of the collective, they may not want to see you because of some of your shortcomings, such as your family situation, or some of your own disabilities, then you have to make yourself stronger, rather than blindly looking for your own presence in the collective. Since there is no way to show yourself in the collective, then find a place where you can show yourself very well, then you need to work harder, learn other skills more, so that you can show yourself especially well in other places, and prove to those who isolate you to see, saying that you are okay, and there is nothing wrong with yourself, even if you and I don't want to get along, then naturally some people will especially want to be in this relationship with me.

Then we have to reflect on ourselves. Will he be unwilling to deliberately alienate him in a certain situation because of some shortcomings or some deficiencies of others, so that he will have the idea of being isolated. In the eyes of others, it seems that this is a special and irrelevant thing, but in fact it is not like this, this is a very terrible thing, if the other party is a person who is particularly weak in his heart and cannot accept the blow, then he must not be able to stand it, and it will indirectly cause him to do something very out of line, which is very harmful to his heart.

So no matter what, we should be positive to face the sun, and then look at all problems positively, instead of looking at it with some very depressed thoughts, we should be kind, not be a particularly ugly person.

Good words are something that everyone can say, but how to do it depends on how you do it in real life, so as to judge whether a person is really kind, or whether his heart is really full of sunshine. Only by treating others well, others will treat you well, so don't think about everything in the bad way, even if you have experienced any setbacks, you must be positive, full of sunshine, and especially kind to face every problem. In this way, it will feel that it is a very happy thing to be alive, a very happy thing.

There is a fable: a sheep was grazing on the hillside, was targeted by the wolf, the sheep cried for help, the cow heard it and still only cared about its own grazing, the pig heard it and ran away, the rabbit heard it and hurriedly rolled down the hillside, and then a dog happened to pass by, saw the wolf to eat the sheep, and quickly jumped to the sheep, and struggled to bite the wolf's throat, and the wolf hurriedly ran away.

And when the wolf was gone, the ox ran to the sheep and said, I didn't hear it, and if I knew it, I would have dug it to death, and the pig ran to the sheep and said, I didn't hear it, or it would have been killed with one mouth, and the haze ran to the sheep and said, I don't know, and if I know, I will tell you, and the sheep are grateful to them, and only the dog did not come, and was alone in the house to heal, and no one remembered that he had saved the sheep.

Why are hypocritical people very popular, but kind people isolated? Do you think it's strange, it's actually normal, after all, the atmosphere of the whole society is like this, in this era when money is king, when kindness and interests conflict, interests always come first, and kindness may be worthless.

We really see that kind people run into walls everywhere, they can't get through in the workplace, they don't do much in business, they have to invite people to eat and give a gift or something, and good people may feel that this kind of thing is really corrupt, and the social atmosphere is corrupt, so they will naturally not do it, but if you don't do it, the hypocritical person will do it, then he will naturally get what he wants.

Therefore, the relationship between people is not because you are kind, but because there are interests between them!

There is a good saying, "No one asks about the poor in the downtown area, and the rich have distant relatives in the mountains", when you are penniless and useless, you are in the bustling city, and no one will pay attention to you; But if you are rich and powerful, even if you are in the deep mountains and old forests, there will be people who will shout at you and ask for warmth, this is the reality, this is the society, it's not that you don't want to, but human nature is like this.

Hypocritical people are good at being exquisite, able to speak well, tend to be inflammatory, talk about people when they see people, talk nonsense when they see ghosts, and are snobbish, while kind people disdain to do this.

Person! Of course, he likes to be appreciated and touted, so hypocritical people take advantage of this weakness to approach him, in order to achieve their own goals, deceive themselves, sell their souls, spend money and effort to cater to others and please others, and of course their popularity will be better.

Kind people naturally don't follow these routines, and they are even more reluctant to stick to it, insisting that kind people are pure in nature, but it is precisely because of this that they have a lot fewer friends, and they are even more likely to be isolated in the workplace!

People's hearts are diverse, each has its own scheming, regardless of daily life, or workplace competition, although there is no harm to others, but the heart of defense is still reasonable, so mutual suspicion, the mentality of deception has arisen, and it is good to compete with each other, do not rule out the situation of you fighting for me, malicious harm, the key is to tolerate and communicate with each other, but reluctantly, not everyone is like-minded, regardless of the gains and losses of interests, the mentality is a little flat, and they are low-key in their own life and things, and flexibly adjust their mentality. The way of thinking and the skills of dealing with people, struggle is a must, otherwise bread and love are not guaranteed, gradually improve and enhance the competitive strength, always remind yourself to be calm and composed, do your best, opportunities will always appear, as for the trust of others, get along well or not, not subjective thoughts can change, so, everything is fate, not just divided, waiting for like-minded people to appear.

Hypocrisy and kindness are epistemological issues. What kind of worldview there is, what kind of behavior there is. Different worldviews and perceptions of things are very different.

This begs the question, how can hypocrisy and kindness be identified? What are the criteria? Wait a minute.

The popular judgment is to define it in terms of universal morality. And with the continuous progress of society, the moral outlook has also changed, even subversively. It is also unscientific to use it as a measure of hypocrisy and goodness.

Then we can only define it in the simplest way, that is, those who care about social unity, do good deeds for social progress, are consistent with the mainstream consciousness and words and deeds of social progress, and are fair and benevolent. For the sake of their own interests, it is hypocritical to destroy unity, engage in liberalism, engage in intrigue and intrigues, etc.

Kind people in their daily lives and work, because they have no interests of their own, do things above board, and do not engage in conspiracies and tricks, they will inevitably offend some people for a long time. Of course, there are no people who, for their own interests, hide their opinions, do not have their own principles in life and work, and on the surface, are not as good as those who speculate. As for the problem of isolation, it is only a temporary phenomenon, it is a relative concept, and it is very philosophical that the lotus flower comes out of the sludge without being stained.

If you have no heart or desire, you are not ashamed, and the eyes of the masses are bright. The existence of society is also dominated by fairness. For the sake of justice, temporary isolation, in exchange for one's own kindness, this is the positive energy of society.

The progress of society needs kindness and positive energy.