Ask for a joke about a madhouse, ask for a joke about a mental hospital.

===First floor***************== Because of the increasing pressure of modern society, the scale of the mental hospital has also increased, one day the dean felt that there were too many people, and decided to choose a building director on each floor, and the dean carried an apple to the first floor. Dean: Whoever knows what I have in my hands is the building manager.

Patient A: I, I know, it's an apple. Dean:

Very good, congratulations on being the first floor manager. ===Second floor***************== The dean took a banana to the second floor Dean: Who knows what I have in my hand Who is the building manager.

Patient B: I, I know, it's a banana. Dean:

Very good, congratulations on being the head of the second floor ***************==Third floor***************=== This time, the dean held a melon in his hand and said: This melon is from Xinjiang, what kind of melon is this? Answer:

Example: Brain teaser: A mental hospital wants to choose a building manager, a total of four floors, each floor chooses a building director, the dean comes to the first floor, points to the window and asks what a neuropathy is, the neuropathy answers that it is a window, the dean says to the neurological patient that the first floor is the chief, to the second floor and points to the door and asks what another neuropathy is, the neuropathy answers yes, the dean says to the neurological patient that the second floor chief is you, to the third floor, the dean is looking for a neuropathy...

A: The unit has raised my salary, and my monthly salary can reach 60,000 yuan, what about you? b:

We've also gone up less than 70,000. A: Yes, you are still well treated.

I heard that tonight's supermarket cabbage discount is only 3,000 yuan a catty! B: Shh

A reporter went to interview the psychiatric director and asked: How do you test whether the patient is **? The dean immediately brought a large bath, and brought a small spoon and a bowl, and said:

I will ask them, "Come and drain the water from the basin." The reporter said again:

Of course, you use a bowl! However, the dean said with a black line on his face: Normal people go to pull out the plug.

That must only be the classic of "Big Shot".

What's going on there isn't funny, why are people out there so stupid?

There was a man who was in a psychiatric hospital. One day he wanted to go out, so he thought, there is a plane in the courtyard, no one drives it anyway, so he took advantage of the fact that others were not paying attention, secretly got into the plane, drove up (it was a helicopter), and as a result, he shouted into the microphone in the plane: Hahahaha

No one knows where I ran from!

One patient shouted to the doctor: "I am the Pope, you all have to obey me!" ”

The doctor frowned: "Who said that?" ”

The patient said, "God said it." ”

Another patient next to him jumped up, "I didn't say that!" ”

This morning, it was super crowded on the bus in the Science and Technology Park, and a couple stood at the door and squeezed from the back of the car.

A gg wanted to get out of the car, and said to the woman, "Let go, get off", and the woman didn't move. GG stepped on her as he squeezed through. As a result, the woman was so powerful, she kept scolding, "Neurotic, you!"

Neurotic, you! It was so loud that the whole car looked at it, GG didn't speak, and when he got out of the car, he couldn't bear it anymore, and turned back to the woman and said, "Repeater, you!" The whole car laughed!

There are a few funny kids in the back, who keep accompanying the scene just now, and A says, "You're crazy。。 B says, "You repeat the machine, you're there". The whole car laughed!

Later, a little mm also got out of the car, squeezed over and timidly said, "Even if you want to go down, even if you don't have a nervous disease!" The whole car laughed again! The woman didn't speak, but a sentence floated from the side, "Are you out of power?" and the whole car burst into laughter.

In the psychiatric hospital, a patient shouted: du

I am Napoleon! 」

Who said zhi you are Nadao Poleon!? The patient in the next room shouted.

It was Julius Caesar who said it! The first patient said.

Nonsense! Julius Caesar had no idea who Napoleon was! The patient in the next room shouted.

How do you know Julius Caesar didn't know who Napoleon was? The first patient asked.

God told me! The patient in the next room replied.

At this moment, the doctor's roar came from the hallway:

I never told anyone! 」

The new director of the asylum walks up to a patient and asks him why he got into the asylum.

Doctor, that's right. I married a widow with an adult daughter. My father married her daughter, so my wife became her father-in-law's mother-in-law, and her daughter became my stepdaughter and stepmother.

My stepmother gave birth to a son, who became my brother and my wife's grandson. I also had a son, who became his grandfather's brother-in-law, and his own uncle's uncle. On the other hand, when my father mentions his grandson, he says that it is his brother-in-law, and my son calls his sister a grandmother.

I now think that I am my mother's father, my grandson's brother, and my wife is her son-in-law's daughter and her grandson's sister. Now I don't know if I'm my own grandfather, my brother's father, or my son's nephew, because my son is my father's brother-in-law. That's why I'm here, Dean.

I feel calmer here than at home. 」

I know! There is a psychiatric hospital, because there are many patients in the hospital, so the director has come up with a way to choose a more normal patient on each floor to manage other patients, and the director goes to the first floor and asks the patients: So what is this?

A patient said, "It's an apple," and the dean asked, "What are apples for?"

It's a banana. Dean asked: How do you eat this?

Okay, you're the head of the building on the second floor, and when you go to the third floor, the dean draws his hand and says, "What can a circle play a song about?" This is for you to tell the same story.

Only one person didn't go out, and the dean thought he was fine, so he asked, "Why don't you go?" He said

I'll wait for the water to be hot. The dean fainted on the spot.

In a psychiatric hospital ward, a patient pointed at one of them with chopsticks, and the doctor came and said to the person:"Why don't you go with them'Eat'This? "He said"I'm just their roast suckling pig! "

A mentally ill man with a gun in his hand pointed at a man and said: 1+1=?

The man who was not pointing was a little frightened, and after a while whispered: "Equal to 2."

Without hesitation, the mentally ill man shot him and said: "You know too much."

topic - two joke stories and a riddle.

1. You hunted a very famous pig, what did you say? - Hit a valuable, 3 words.

2. The mouse said to the mustang, "I went on a date with a cat yesterday!" — Hit a food, 2 words.

3. The wild horse didn't believe it, so he grabbed the mouse's clothes and lifted it up. - Hit a plant, 3 words.

4. The potatoes are going to a duel with the buns, but there is a river in front of them, and it can't cross. - Hit a plant, 3 words.

5. The duel began, and the potato stabbed the bun with a fatal knife. - Hit a food, 3 words.