Desperate for one or a few jokes about furniture

If I told you, would our group still use it?

How old is the table.

My aunt came back from afar after a long absence, and when she saw the baby for the first time, she hurriedly squatted down: "Yo, this is the baby, tell my aunt how old she is?" The baby replied

Three years old. My aunt said, "It's growing so fast, it's going to be as tall as a table."

He tilted his head and asked, "Mom, how old is the table?" ”

Weekend cleaning, it's their turn to be in the group, usually a few of them must have slipped away, but now Deputy Team Leader Bai has to play an exemplary role, of course he can't run, not only sweep the floor and wipe the table, but even do the work of wiping the lamp tube at the end without hesitation.

He took a stool and put it on the table, climbed on the table, shook the stool, the table was not flat, the bench was a little narrow, he hesitated or stood up, the stool legs shook, he was a little nervous, suddenly felt that the stool was not shaking, looked down, and found that Yuanyuan was helping him hold the stool.

You don't need to help, it's okay, it's gray for a while. Xiaole hurriedly said.

It's okay. Yuanyuan looked up at him, leaned on the stool with both hands, shook her head and said, that expression was very resolute.

Kindness. Xiao Le agreed, grabbed the rag and began to wipe the ashes, he tried to rub the ashes on the rag to prevent the annoying dust from falling.

The two worked together to wipe down several lamps, Xiaole occasionally bowed his head, and Yuanyuan looked up at him, and he expressed his gratitude to her with the most pleasant smile every time.

Buy a house, send furniture.

In order to promote a house, a real estate developer advertised "buy a house, give away furniture". Someone buys a new house, decorates it and goes to get the furniture. Real Estate Agent: Where is your furniture? We've got you covered!

The two were fighting in the street. When one person hits another with a stick, he watches and shouts excitedly: "Hit, fight, hit."

The other spectator asked curiously, "Is he your friend?" "It's not!

He replied quietly. "I'm the orthopedic surgeon opposite. ”

Giving birth to a little boy has to complete the homework left by the teacher and write an essay about "childbirth".

He asked his mother, "How did I get born?" ”

Mom was a little uncomfortable and said, "My dear, my ancestors brought you to us." ”

Oh, so how did you and Dad get born? ”

Well, Mr. Zu is under ours. ”

Okay, so how were grandparents born? ”

Well, my dear, it was also the ancestors who gave birth to them. ”

The little boy seemed to understand.

A few days later, the little boy handed in his composition. The teacher looked at it, and couldn't understand the first sentence. "This essay is not easy to write because none of the three generations of our family were born in natural childbirth. ”

One day, the teacher lays out the homework. It is also a country. Party. Society. Make a sentence with the people, Xiao Ming asked his father when he went home, and his father told him that your grandmother is the country, I am the party, your mother is the society, and you are the people.

Later, Xiao Ming still didn't understand and asked his grandmother, but his grandmother was sleeping, and then he went to find his mother who knew that his father was quarreling with his mother, and suddenly Xiao Ming remembered, and the next day Xiao Ming taught homework, and the sentence was like this. The country is sleeping, the party is disturbing society, and the people are suffering.

Now the primary school Chinese is too difficult, look at one of their homework questions:

Requirements: Connect the following four sentences with related words:

1), Sister Li is paralyzed;

2) Sister Li's tenacious learning;

3) Sister Li has learned many foreign languages;

4) Sister Li learned acupuncture.

Note: The correct answer should be: Although Sister Li is paralyzed, she has studied tenaciously and not only learned many foreign languages, but also learned acupuncture. ）

As a result, a child wrote: Although Sister Li tenaciously learned acupuncture and many foreign languages, she was still paralyzed.

Later, the child who found that he was more fierce wrote: Sister Li not only learned a foreign language, but also learned acupuncture, and she was so tenacious in learning that she was finally paralyzed.

There is something even more powerful: the reason why Sister Li is paralyzed is because of her tenacious study, not only did she learn many foreign languages, but she even learned acupuncture.

Also: Sister Li is such a tenacious learner, not only learned many foreign languages and acupuncture, but also learned to be paralyzed in the end.

Sister Li learned many foreign languages, learned acupuncture, and was paralyzed in tenacious learning.

Through tenacious study, Sister Li learned many foreign languages and acupuncture, but as a result, she paralyzed herself according to a foreign language version of the acupuncture book.

In order to test the strength of the police in the United States, Hong Kong, and Chinese mainland, the United Nations put three rabbits in three forests to see who finds the rabbit first.

In front of the first forest was the American police, who first spent half a day meeting to make a battle plan, strictly divide labor, and then sent special forces to quickly enter the forest for a carpet search, but the meeting was delayed, the rabbit ran away, and the mission failed!

Then it was the turn of the Hong Kong police, who sent more than a hundred people and dozens of police cars to line up outside the forest, and the leader shouted through a loudspeaker"Rabbit, rabbit, you are surrounded, come out and surrender. "

Half a day passed, and there was no movement.

Finally, the Chinese police, only four, first played mahjong for a day, at dusk a person took a baton into the forest, not five minutes, heard a burst of animal screams in the forest, the Chinese policeman smoked a cigarette and laughed out, dragging one.

A bear with a blue nose and swollen face, the bear said dyingly:"Don't fight anymore, I'm a rabbit. "

1. The bright moonlight in front of the bed --- the fragrance of Li Bai's sleep. 2. The smell --- the three stinkers is the same. 3. If you are poor, you will be alone--- if you are rich, you will have a group of wives and concubines.

4. When the book is used, I hate to be less--- money is not enough to spend at the end of the month. 5. If there is love in the sky, the sky will be old--- if people are in love, they will die early. 6, thinking about the past, Jin Ge Iron Horse --- look at the present day, stalking.

7. Don't bend your waist for five buckets of rice--- just give me six buckets.

I can't sleep at night and sent you a text message, but I'm afraid you won't see it, because pigs are generally sleeping now.

Take off the man: You take it off first, and I'll take it off when you're done. Female:

I'm slower to take it off, so you'll take it off first. M: That's it!

Save time and we'll take it off together. F: How embarrassing is that?

M: It's okay, I'm my own. Female:

That's fast! Stuff it all in, be careful! Don't get your clothes dirty!

M: Hmm. It's so much more convenient to have this dehydrator. 」

Sending a person is a v, and a person is a common v

In the summer vacation of the second year of junior high school, one day when I came home from playing football, my parents were not there, I turned on the TV on a whim and stroked off the advertisements for those TV direct sales, my pants fell to my knees, and then I was very tired and lay down on the sofa in the living room and fell asleep in a daze. When I woke up, I found that my pants were already on, and then the whole living room was filled with relatives.

Customer:"Why doesn't the wine you sell smell like alcohol? "The waiter took it and sniffed it:"Ah, I'm sorry I forgot to mix you with wine. "

The mother did not have dinner at home, so the youngest daughter sat in the mother's seat and pretended to be the mother. My son was not convinced when he found out! The son asked

Do you think you're a mom? Do you know what 99 by 6 is? "The youngest daughter said unhurriedly

I don't have time, kid, go ask your father. "

Check out the laughter network Maybe there's a joke you want.

(1) One day, our university will use human feces for experiments. One classmate used a bag of Chow Tai Fook (a brand of gold jewelry) to fill feces. Suddenly, a motorcyclist snatched his bag.

2) I went shopping with my friends during the summer vacation and found a child squatting there crying. I kindly asked, "What's wrong with you, little friend?"

The kid ignored me and was still squatting there. I asked him again, but he didn't answer. I said angrily

What the hell is wrong with you, kids! I saw the child slowly raise his head and say, "I'm pooping."

3) I remember one time when I went to buy a fruit called Elizabeth, I opened my mouth and said: Boss, how much is Shakespeare? The owner was stunned on the spot.

4) On the bus in the morning, a person took out his mobile phone from his bag to check the time, and then said something"I'm cao", I thought he was too late, and after a closer look, I cao he was holding an air conditioner remote control in his hand.

5) When you first start school, the class introduces yourself. A male classmate stepped up to the podium: "My name is You Yong, I am from Beijing, I love to play chess!"

6) Mr. Huang loves the revolution, in order to commemorate the Red Army, named his son "Army", one day to send his son to class, saw the bus No. 8 entering the station, so he shouted at his son: Huang Jun run, the eighth road is coming!

7) Captain: My perfume is gone! Help me find it!

Everyone: You still use perfume?? What brand??

Header: Six God, that's all I use. Everyone:

Awesome.,I've never heard of it.,What does it look like?。。。Captain: Which of you took the Six Gods Flower Water?

The school informed the parents that they were going to the school for a parent-teacher conference. The younger brother took his mother's hand and said, "Don't go to this year's parent-teacher meeting!"

Mom asked, "Why?" The younger brother said

The nature of the parent-teacher meeting is similar to that of the primary three, which destroys family harmony! ”

One day, the pig said to the bear, "Guess how many pieces of sugar I have in my pocket?" The bear said, "You guessed right, you gave me the third and said to the fourth: the fifth egg is disgusting, and the hair is all over it... The result was the fifth.

Rabbit fishing, the first day did not catch anything, the rabbit went home disappointed, the second day the rabbit went fishing again with great interest, but still nothing, on the third day just about to leave the river, suddenly a fish came out and yelled at the rabbit: grandma, next time you fish with carrots I will shoot you to death!

Someone raises a pig, annoyed, abandons it, but the pig knows the way back, and the number of abandonments is useless. One day, he drove a lot of turns and abandoned the pig, and called his family late at night to ask, "Is the pig returned?" He replied, "I have returned!" He roared: "Let it pick up **, Lao Tzu is lost!"

The student went to the toilet between classes, and found that he didn't bring any paper, and he couldn't wait for anyone, and his mobile phone was in arrears. In desperation, he called 10086 and asked for help. . . It is said that there was silence for a long time, and then ......A classmate in his class received a text message like this during class:

Dear China Mobile subscribers, your classmates who are in the toilet and ask you to send him a handy paper. For more information, please call 10086