Did the ancients have to obey their parents orders to get married? What happens if you don t obey?

How did the ancients find a partner? Many people may know that in the feudal and conservative ancient society, the ancients could not fall in love freely. If the ancients wanted to get rid of the single and get married, they still had to rely on two crucial people, one was the parents, and the other was the matchmaker, that is, "the order of the parents, the words of the matchmaker".

If you don't obey your parents' orders, even if you like a certain girl or a young man, they can't be together. So all kinds of beautiful and sweet love in costume dramas do not exist. So in ancient times, it was really impossible to fall in love freely?

The life of the parents, the words of the matchmaker.

The order of the parents, the words of the matchmaker first appeared in the book "Mencius Tengwen Gongxia":

If you don't wait for your parents' orders, the words of the matchmaker, you can peep through the holes, and follow each other over the wall, then your parents and people are cheap. ''

If you don't obey your parents' orders and find someone to fall in love with, then this person will be despised by the Chinese people. Therefore, in ancient times, parents had to obey what they said.

The ancients attached great importance to filial piety, and even major marriage matters had to obey the arrangements of their parents. If you go against your parents' wishes, it is equivalent to unfilial piety, and this person will be condemned by society.

In fact, there is a certain reason why the ancients asked their parents to help choose a mate. Parents have more experience and longer life experiences, and they know what kind of spouse is most suitable to marry and live at home. Having parents intervene in marriage can avoid young people from taking fewer detours.

If a man reaches marriageable age, his parents will arrange a marriage for him and ask someone to find a woman of the right age to marry. It is up to the parents to decide whether the marriage is suitable, only if the parents agree, and then follow the process of the "Six Rites", the marriage will be completed.

In the entire marriage process in ancient times, there was no need to consider the wishes of the parties at all, so the consequence of arranged marriages in the ancients was that the marriage failure rate was relatively high. So what to do?

Most people can only run in with their other half after entering marriage, and if the run-in fails, it may lead to the breakdown of the marriage. So there were still many examples of unhappy marriages in ancient times.

The door is right. In addition to obeying the orders of their parents, ancient people also had to follow the principle of "matching the door". Because they think that only two people of similar class can communicate together. In modern times, it is people of the same class who have common topics.

A typical example of the principle of door-to-door pairing is the story of Liang Zhu. Liang Shanbo and Zhu Yingtai are real in history.

Miss Fuji Zhu Yingtai disguised herself as ** to study, met scholar Liang Shanbo, and fell in love at first sight. But Zhu Yingtai's father hated the poor and loved the rich, so he insisted on marrying Zhu Yingtai to Ma Wencai, the son of Taishou, which resulted in a love tragedy.

This story combines the two marriage principles of "parents' orders" and "family matching", which is a tragedy caused by the times.

The ancients had to obey the orders of their parents and the words of the matchmaker when they got married. Ancient etiquette was against free love, so love that does not obey the orders of parents generally does not end well.

Yes, you have to obey your parents' orders, and if you don't obey, you are likely to be kicked out of the house by your father, and you will no longer recognize him as a descendant, and you will become a homeless person from then on.

The ancients were people who had to obey their parents' orders when they got married, and if they didn't obey, they would be infamous for being unfilial, and they would be looked down upon and condemned; Moreover, if you are disobedient, it will be difficult for you to get married, and you will not be able to marry a wife and a person without the nod of your parents.

Yes, ancient marriage is about the words of the matchmaker of the parents, there is no freedom of marriage, and the rules of marriage in ancient times are also more cumbersome. Marriage cannot be made without the identity of both parents.

Although marriage in ancient times was not free, it also gave a certain guarantee to life in many cases, of course, although marriage in ancient times was not advocated now, but in ancient times, it was also to make the family and the children to be happier, so marriage in ancient times rarely had a very happy side.