Are there any jokes that can be laughed at for a lifetime?

When I was 7 months pregnant, it was raining one day, and I took a taxi home with an umbrella on the side of the road during the evening rush hour in Beijing. There are people in every taxi. Later, an empty car came, and after I got in the car, the driver said that he had just passed by me, thinking that this pregnant woman would definitely not be able to get a taxi standing here on a rainy day.

So after the guests in his car got off the car not far away, he went around and came to pull me again, and many people in the middle waved him without stopping. I was so moved that I almost cried!

There is no stupidest, only more stupid! Let's talk about one more thing. Or emphasis:

My wife and I are the only ones of each other! Before I got married, I had the first time, and then, I rented a small courtyard to live together. After a "hey", my wife snuggled up to me and said quietly

It's incredible, how can men and women be like this? ......Turned over and continued: "Husband, do you say that other husbands and wives are like this? ......

That morning, I went to buy steamed buns with my girlfriend, and when I arrived at the front of the store, there were not many people in line. I asked her what buns she was buying, and she said she would buy 5 leek buns. Then the queue arrived, and the aunt said what she wanted?

I hurriedly said nine five-dish buns, and my aunt stopped me on the spot, and my girlfriend laughed happily. Ah, I was so depressed. I really want to hang myself with noodles.

In junior high school, my mother brought back a bottle of dry red wine. I didn't drink it, I secretly took a sip, the taste was a little unaccustomed, and then I heard about red wine beauty, and used that bottle of wine to wash my face, and my mother came back and scolded me for an hour

Yesterday I was not feeling well, so I went to the hospital for a check-up! The doctor only used three sentences, which made me instantly feel the great compassion of life! Exultation! Another mixture of joy and sorrow! ''Your condition is not optimistic, but it can be cured!'' It takes a lot of money though! ......

In high school, I heard an inspirational legend. said that there was once a student who failed the college entrance examination and then repeated; After failing to make the list and repeating it, he was finally admitted to the university eight times before and after, and he happened to be surnamed Zhu, so he got a nickname "Zhu Bashi".

At noon today, my daughter came to my office after school, walked to the position of our director, and yelled, "You are actually playing a game, I want to tell you leaders".

My brother just called over, and he choked up and said: Brother, I just thought that seventy or eighty years later, you will be gone, who will play with me, I am very sad. I can only arrange for him to say that after seventy or eighty years, my brother will still play with you, and you can still bully me, okay?

He turned crying into laughter over there and said: Don't lie to me ......A twelve-year-old child is thinking about a question that often catches adults off guard.

Probably every time my sister asks me for a birthday present, or something else, I say, I'll give you a set of rolls, do you want it? Then all kinds of arguments began, and then she didn't want a gift, but I really didn't have anything else in my hand except the volume, blame me, I can't do anything, I don't want to give it to her, and asked me if I was my sister, if I could do it again, I would definitely say that it was not my sister.

Friday was called by the leader to play mahjong, three o'clock in the morning to disperse, accidentally let the leader lose all, just arrived home, the leader played ** and told me that I must go to work overtime tomorrow, there is an urgent job...

A: I'll punch you later, and you're going to laugh like you're being tickled, showing contempt for me.

B: Okay. A punches B in the face.

B: Hahahahahaha

The loading screen of the mini-world reads: No pirated games

Children's cross talk "Who is the cutest person".

A: The teacher asked me to judge who is the cutest person, and the champion must be me.

B: You don't have hope, it must be me, I don't believe in us.

A: I've heard that you like to play chess.

B: That's right. A: Your dad also likes to play chess.

B: yes. A: No, I used to play chess with your father.

B: Right. A: One time I was playing chess with your father, who do you think I am the best?

B: My dad is a good chess player, of course my dad is very good.

A: Yes, I'm amazing.

B: What's wrong with you?

A: Your father is so old, of course let me, I am still a thief. I didn't see your father stealing his chess pieces behind your back, and your father didn't play chess, but I played chess well and I won.

B: That's you.

A: I won, but your dad didn't agree, saying that he had to play two out of three sets. In the second set, guess which of us is better?

B: If you go down like that, I'm sure you're good.

A: Yes, your dad is amazing.

B: Why is my dad so good again?

A: This time, your father won't let me, and he has been careful, and I can't steal the child, your father is so good, of course I will lose.

B: You've lost again.

A: In the third set, guess which of us is the best?

B: I don't change my guess, just say it.

A: We made a draw.

B: I don't guess you're playing chess again.

B: Then don't go down.

A: Yes, I can't go down, but your father doesn't do it, so you have to continue?

B: Huh?? One is like a taxi, and there is no one who can cross the river, so how can he get down?

A: Hehe, your dad has an idea.

B: What's the idea?

A: Your father said, "Why don't we all cross the river?" ”

B: I haven't heard of it!

A: Then your father's elephant crossed the river, and my taxi crossed the river, and your father took his elephant like me, and I took my soldier and your father... Your dad is like me again, I am your dad again, your dad is like me, I am your dad, your dad is like me, my dad is like me, my dad is like me, your dad is like me, my dad is like me, my dad is like me, my dad is like me, my dad is like me, my dad is like me, my dad is like me, I am your dad...

B: you!!

When I was in junior high school, my table mate was a smoker, and my geography teacher was an old man.

I was in geography class, and my tablemate was addicted to smoking, so I lit a cigarette while the teacher was writing on the blackboard, smoked, and spit out the window.

Once, when the contract table was facing out and smoking, the teacher turned his head, but the table mate didn't notice that the smoking nostrils didn't stop. I saw the teacher's eyes widen and he was stunned and said, I have smoked all my life, and I can't smoke from just one nostril, how did you do it?

The table was shocked, sorry, I had a cold, and one nostril was blocked.

Instantly laughed.

One day the teacher was lecturing on the stage, Xiao Ming was whispering to the same table below, and the teacher was very angry, "Xiao Ming, repeat what you just said ten times" Xiao Ming "hum... Say it out loud!! "The teacher has a vegetable leaf on his teeth, and the teacher has a vegetable leaf on his teeth...