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Marriage is a special form of experience accumulation. Because of the particularity, privacy and difference of marriage, the knowledge of marriage is not as easy to obtain and apply to oneself as other knowledge, and one can only use one's own marriage to practice and improve at the same time. In the process of practicing and perfecting marriage, he and his lover are both researchers and experiments
We are engaged in research work, and we are studied! There will definitely be many unforeseen problems and difficulties, but when a problem or difficulty is solved by the husband and wife together, that kind of experience and experience will always be unforgettable.
Marriage is a special belief in seeking common ground while reserving differences. Although men and women live in the same space, their mental activities belong to two different worlds. Because of the differences in the characteristics, cognition, and temperament of men and women, differences and contradictions will inevitably arise in marriage.
The belief of seeking common ground while reserving differences is that marriage maintains the unique nature of men and women under the premise of having a sense of morality and responsibility, such as the rationality of men and the sensibility of women; Men are independent, women are worried about ......Gentlemen are harmonious but different. The characteristics of animals that have evolved over thousands of years cannot be erased because of marriage, and the mantis arm is ultimately unstoppable, so marriage is a special belief in seeking common ground while reserving differences.
Marriage is a special way to solve problems. Marriage is a joint property created and built by two people. In the process of co-creation and co-construction, there are always situations involving personal interests being damaged, as long as everything is based on marriage"If the meat is rotten, it will be in the pot"。
Recognizing this is to let the husband and wife focus on the overall situation of the marriage, know how to make trade-offs, understand each other, and tolerate each other, so as to achieve emotional harmony and balance of mentality.
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Maybe you're a woman by profession, so you speak more straightforwardly. Maybe my husband thinks you're not gentle, that's why he says that kind of thing. Later, you speak to him in a slightly slower tone.
Discuss everything with him, and he won't say you're aggressive. Some men like women and birds, so you should work towards that!
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The harmony of a family is inseparable from the communication of two people. When your husband has such thoughts, you should also think about whether you are a little aggressive in tone, have a good chat, communicate, and then try to make your tone calm. Men want a gentle and understanding wife, not an aggressive wife.
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What should I do if my husband says I'm aggressive? We can change this tone, communicate slowly with my husband, and maybe it will change in the future.
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Focusing on family harmony, change his aggressive tone, and speak softly and decently.
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You should know if you are aggressive when you speak, and if you really do, you need to adjust and improve, after all, this is not a good habit.
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Is it that you have a bad tone when you speak, or you use inappropriate words, so that you can give people such a feeling, in fact, you can talk to him.
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My husband wants a divorce, obviously it is my husband's needs, and he wants my cooperation.
Instead of consulting me properly, he used an intimidating tone of orders to hope that I would cooperate with him, how could this be done?
He wants to meet his needs, but he doesn't take into account my needs, and he definitely doesn't get the results he wants.
The reason why he is so strong is because he needs to show his strength, the power that people can't refuse, because he did this to me before the tease, and he thought it would be okay this time.
I could feel the urgency, the anxiety, the fear, the fear that I would not agree with his anxiety, and that I would adjust my thorns, ready to build up my own strength, but in fact I was already powerless to collapse inside.
So when I rejected him, he behaved decisively, because he was too disappointed in me, disappointed in my non-cooperation, my control, he felt that he was no one to love, no one to understand, no one to accept, he always couldn't do what he wanted to do, divorce still need to sue twice, people divorce a marriage agreement is enough.
In my husband's needs, I saw his scarcity, he lacked money, and he wanted me to help him raise his son together.
He used a lot of strength to suppress his emotions, and it reached a point where he couldn't hold it down.
I've been releasing it, and so much more, how much he's been suppressing, how uncomfortable, if I don't accept him, who can?
I think at the beginning, I was also so aggressive, it looked scary, but in fact I know how fragile I am inside, isn't my husband the same? He is not terrible at all, in fact, he himself is very afraid, he is in his fear, how can he see my needs? Seeing his fear, I began to feel sorry for him...
I'm not afraid of him, I'm afraid of not having a home, being abandoned, being lonely...
What I'm afraid of is that my own needs can't be met, and if there is no demand, why be afraid?
Seeing the need, ablating the need, no longer being afraid...
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When your husband always speaks to you in a frustrating tone, it can make you feel uncomfortable and remorseful. In this situation, there are a few steps you can take to deal with the problem:
1.Communication: First, find an appropriate time and place to communicate openly and honestly with your husband. Tell him that you are unhappy with his tone and explain how that tone affects you. Make sure your tone is gentle so that he can understand your feelings.
2.Describe the situation in which Gu Ling was disturbed: In your communication, provide some specific examples of what his tone of voice was like. This will help him better understand your feelings and make him aware of the impact of his actions on you.
3.Express feelings: Tell your husband how you feel when he speaks to you in a sinister tone. You can say, "I feel hurt and disrespected when you speak to me in that tone." ”
4.Ask why: Ask why your husband is talking to you in a sinister tone.
He may have some stress or emotional issues that cause his tone to become unfriendly. By asking why, you can better understand his situation and find a solution to the problem.
5.Make suggestions: In the communication, make some suggestions to improve the situation.
You can advise him to calm down before speaking, or use a softer tone to express his opinion. At the same time, you can also remind him that if he has any grievances or problems, you can express them in a more appropriate way.
In conclusion, when your husband is always speaking to you in a scaring tone, you can deal with the problem by communicating, describing the situation, expressing feelings, asking why, making suggestions, seeking compromises, and seeking professional help. Through these steps, you can improve your communication and build a healthier and respectful relationship. <>
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When the other person reflects a problem to you, what you need to do is to be humbly taught, I think only people who care about you will dare to tell you that you are wrong, because people who don't care about you can completely take the approach of not saying anything and let the relationship deteriorate.
Therefore, when your husband thinks that you have become unreasonable, you should first look for your own perspective to see if your recent performance is really unreasonable, so that your husband feels that he cannot communicate with you properly.
I'm a girl myself, I can understand the kind of emotions that girls will have when they quarrel, when we quarrel with each other because of a thing, we will not think about who is right and who is wrong, but want a way for the other party to deal with the problem, at that time we may seem a little aggressive, but I think as a man, we still have to choose to be more tolerant of girls, in the process of quarreling as much as possible to let girls more, Try not to try to argue with a girl with big reason when you are arguing, because to be honest, there should be no girl who wants to hear you talk about big things when she is angry.
In this case, the woman can explain to the other party what kind of psychology girls are when they quarrel, so that the boy understands that reasoning during the quarrel will only make the contradiction bigger and bigger, at that time, the boy can choose to follow the woman first, and when everyone is calmer, the man will explain to the woman.
I think most girls will listen to each other reason with them when they are calm.
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You have admitted that you are 'aggressive', so your husband thinks you are 'unreasonable' and is just telling the existence of objective facts.
To do this, you need to study the true meaning of 'aggressive' and 'unreasonable', and when you really understand the meaning of these two idioms, you should know how 'strong' you are and how much you hurt your husband.
In my understanding, the current state of quarrel between you and your husband has reached the point where as soon as you open your mouth, he flashes or hysteriates, so it can be seen that communication has become the biggest obstacle between you.
If you want to improve the situation between you, my advice is:
1) When talking to your husband, don't be too aggressive, don't quarrel, and try to talk well;
2) Hold your breath and listen to what your husband thinks about your 'angry thing', and don't immediately refute it, give yourself some time to reflect on whether your husband's words are true.
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It is not easy for two people to get together from acquaintance, it is very positive for you to make trouble, but you must also know how to resolve the contradiction in this way, you know that you are pushing, then you take a step back, don't be too strong, so it's good.
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I think that when you usually encounter contradictions, don't use quarrels to solve problems, it's best for you to calm down with each other and find the mistakes that are wrong, which is the best way to solve the contradictions. You can sometimes take the initiative to show favor to your husband, so that he will feel good about you.
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You should control yourself, and then look at the contradiction rationally with your husband and discuss countermeasures.
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