How does your parent s desire to control affect you later in life?

If you had to put a label on your parents in one sentence, what do you think is the most appropriate? I think the most suitable thing is, I personally feel ha! They are "guides, great, kind, beautiful and generous, hardworking, tolerant and loving", and there is another word, which is "control freak", why do you say "control freak", because all parents want to "control" everything about their children, including growing up that they are always worried that they will not grow up or be hurt in some way.

My parents, as for it, did a few things that suffocated me. It's them who think "listen to **, it's a non-professional thing, and even when I was a child, they would secretly follow me after school to see if I was in danger or go out to play,Later, when I went to college, she found a job in the cafeteria, in order to take care of my future life, the purpose is to be afraid of my early love, I personally think that she is using family affection to "kidnap" me.

Personally, I don't think our parents should help us plan our education and plan our lives. I feel that I have my own life and my own ideas of life, I feel that my parents can assist us, but we don't need to plan, in fact, we don't need to follow the requirements of our parents, but we still need a little bit of their guidance, I personally think that don't deliberately care about us, parents should give us private space, in fact, parents should respect our choices, I think this is the most respectful.

Finally, I want to tell all parents in the world that in fact, your concept is in the older generation, and as children, we can understand you. I think that the matter of time should let it be silent and harmonious, no matter how many problems there are in life, in fact, in love and understanding will grow slowly, parents should learn to let go and try to break up, so that we can grow up better.

It will definitely have an impact on yourself, such as that you will not be independent.

Parental control makes you feel insecure.

This kind of life doesn't feel like it belongs to me anymore.

I think it's going to be deeply affected.

Some parents have a very strong desire to control, and their children's study, work, life, and emotions must be controlled. Under their strong suppression, the child will become cowardly and incompetent, or will become rebellious and extreme, which is very detrimental to the child's physical and mental health and personality formation, and may affect the child's fate. <>

Some parents are very controlling, and the mental and physical control they exercise over their children will affect the physical and mental health of the child, leave a shadow on the child, and even affect the child's personality and destiny.

A parent's desire to control can make a child cowardly and incompetent. Generally, very controlling parents will interfere with their child's life and learning, and when they grow up, they will interfere with his work and feelings. The parent's strength makes the child unable to resist, and slowly gets used to it.

Some children just become unassertive under the strong control of their parents, everything is subject to their parents, their parents arrange how they want, and they never resist, and their lives seem to be the lives of their parents. Such children do not dare to take responsibility in a critical moment, most of them are cowardly and incompetent, dare not and will not express their thoughts, like a copy of their parents' lives, like a puppet. <>

Parental control can also make children rebellious and extreme. The children mentioned earlier are those who slowly compromise under the control of their parents, and there are also children who are unwilling to compromise even if they are controlled, and they will rise up and release themselves when they find the opportunity. Some people are still unable to be free for a long time, and when they suddenly taste freedom, they will be very indulgent and can easily make big mistakes.

Not only that, but their personality will be very rebellious, unwilling to follow their parents' instructions, and may become very extreme. <>

All in all, the influence of parents on children is very great, and parents' inappropriate parenting methods will affect children's personality, and the consequences are often very terrible. Many people take this lightly and wait until they make a big mistake to start regretting it, and it's too late.

It's scary, they can even interfere with anything with their children, fall in love, go to college, get a job, this desire to control can ruin the child's life and even cause character defects.

Pretty scary. These parents blindly educate their children according to their own wishes, so that the children feel particularly pressured, so that the children do not have their own opinions, causing great psychological pressure on the children.

It is very scary, and it is likely that the children will go astray because of the parents' desire to control, and they may not be able to stand the pressure and die.

It is particularly scary, because this will make the child unconsciously fearful, and at the same time, it will also make the child feel inferior.

Some parents do have a more complex educational philosophy, and the desire to control is also very amazing, and they often want to use their own will to manipulate their children, which can be said to be very scary.

It's very scary, it will make the child become unthinkable, ask his parents about everything, and never make decisions.

Parental control is particularly strong will make children become particularly inferior, dare not express their opinions, will make children have psychological problems, and the relationship with parents will be very poor, sometimes will not communicate with parents, these are the impact of too strong parental control on children, to give children their own space, can not be particularly strong in their desire to control.

Every parent has their own ideas for educating their children. No matter what kind of parents they are, they want their children to end up being good people. However, in the process of growing up with children, if parents control too much, they can easily play a negative role.

Parents should understand!

Children feel inferior.

Most of these children are influenced by their original parents, or their parents have a strong desire to control themselves, so they will bring that control to their significant other. After marriage, they have a strong desire to control their other half, hoping that the other half will tell them everything they do.

However, some people think that there is a strong sense of space, and they want to have their own private space and not live under the supervision of others, so there is conflict, and the lives of two people become very contradictory. Therefore, one thing that parents must understand is that although children are born with the help of our bodies, they have a soul of their own, they should not live in our place, we should not explore the world in their place.

There is no assertiveness, only obedience.

Too much control on the part of parents can take a toll on a child's self-confidence and create thoughts of "I can't", "I can't" and "I can't". Driven by this notion, children learn to obey, so they don't have the ability to innovate. Parents with a strong desire to control have a hard time raising creative children, but more often than not, they can only obey.

If the parents' desire to control is too strong in the family, it may cause a sense of tension in the child's heart, and it will cause the child to have a rebellious psychology.

The impact is very bad, and it will also make the child's character particularly cowardly, and he will not dare to express his own opinions when he encounters anything, and he will also be very sensitive, insecure, and especially like to rely on others.

But the child is also very timid, and dare not easily try and touch some other things, slowly the child will appear a kind of autism, and the child's friends will also be reduced.

It will make the child become very sensitive and become very inferior, which will make the child particularly uncomfortable.

If the parents' desire to control is too strong, it will cause a lot of pressure on the child, and the child will become very irritable and unwilling to communicate with the parents, which will widen the distance between the parents and the child.

It will make the child too cowardly, timid, unassertive, and submissive. I don't dare to give my opinion on some things, I just follow them. Be careful in everything you do, for fear of being scolded.

If parents are too controlling, they will make their children have no opinions, have low self-esteem, and will do things submissively, and they will look at other people's faces when they grow up.

It will have an impact on the child's personality, will make the child have no opinions, rely on his parents for everything, will make the child have no self-confidence, and his personality will become very introverted.

If the parents' desire to control is too strong, it will put a lot of pressure on the child, and it will also make the child feel inferior from the heart and give birth to a rebellious mentality.

Too much control from parents can be very oppressive for children, because children also have their own space, and they also have their own things to do. <>

Some parents often control their children by their side, what can be done, what can not be done, what time and time every day to do what to do for the children are very full, completely according to their own ideas, will not consider what the children think, even on the weekend will arrange for the children, deprived of their own life, more serious is that the children can not make friends, parents feel that the child is not good at learning can not make friends with him, whether it is in study, life, There will be some interference in the social aspect, which will make the children feel very suffocated, and they will be tired of living in such a family, and there is no space for themselves at all. <>

Sometimes, the stronger the parents' control over the children, the more rebellious the children, and when the children tolerate it to a certain extent, they will explode, and the children will make some drastic actions, which is very detrimental to the growth of the children. So parents still need to let go, let the children soar freely, they only need to be their strong backing, encourage and comfort them when they are hurt, don't break the children's wings, so it is difficult for the children to fly out to see the outside world, children can not live under the wings of their parents all the time, parents can not protect their children, one day they need to learn to be independent, some things need to make their own decisions, so it is also good for them to exercise them early. <>

And parents need to understand what their children like, what they want to do in the future, and what direction they want to develop, so that they can decide their own lives, and they only need to give them advice, so parents should let go appropriately, and don't have too much control over their children, so it is easy for children to go astray, which will make them regret it, so respect children and give them space.

Children who grow up in a controlling family have limited independence and behavior, resulting in the child's inability to express his or her heart. At the same time, under this control, children have no self-esteem and no right to speak. Children who are dominated and controlled are generally unhappy, have defective personalities, are prone to mental illness, and will have psychological problems.

There is no freedom, no self-awareness, no self-acting behavior under control. If parents are biased towards control, children lack freedom, children cannot express their self-awareness, cannot choose their own lives, and restrict their self-development. The development without freedom of choice makes the child ordinary, disoriented in life, misses opportunities, and loses what he wants.

To control children's behavior, on the one hand, they rely on their parents and hope that their parents will do everything. On the other hand, the accumulation of bad feelings over a long period of time can cause the child's revenge. This kind of unfreedom and self-loss psychology will create psychological problems on the child's life path.

For example, lack of self-confidence, lack of assertiveness, or psychological deformity.

1. Lack of happiness when children grow up: There is a certain connection between parents' excessive control behavior and children's mental health problems when they grow up, which may have a certain adverse impact on children's happiness, and children who are overly controlled by parents are also unhappy in their hearts. 2. Leads to poor self-reliance of children:

Children's independence needs to be cultivated from an early age, and parents should not worry too much about their children's safety when they first learn to do their own things. On the basis of ensuring the safety of the child, try to let the child handle it by himself. On the one hand, it can stimulate children's curiosity, and on the other hand, it can also cultivate children's autonomy.

If parents intervene in their children, they will develop a sense of dependence. In the future, children do not find ways to solve problems on their own, but rely on the help of others. Once this habit is formed, the child will gradually become weak and incompetent.

Therefore, when children are young, parents should not do too much for them. Let your child be clear about what he should do on his own and what he needs help. 3. Cause children to lack assertiveness:

If the child encounters a controlling parent from an early age, the child will repeatedly feel that his own ideas conflict with the parents' thoughts in the process of growing up, and after being forced to compromise again and again, he will gradually become accustomed to ignoring his real thoughts, resulting in blurred psychological boundaries. When you grow up, you are easily influenced by others, care too much about the evaluation of others, and become a person who can't make up your mind. For example, some people are extremely unconfident when they grow up, and they must consult their parents before making any decisions, including work, love, marriage, childbirth, and buying a house.

4. Lead to children's unprincipled behavior: unique personality can attract many friends for everyone and establish their own circle of friends. When children choose friends, parents should not use their own principles to interfere, which will only make children lose themselves.

Otherwise, the strong desire of parents to control will only make the child gradually lose himself and lose his judgment. What parents can do is correct guidance and full respect for their children, so as to cultivate their children's ability to think independently and judge right and wrong. In the process of the child's gradual establishment of the three views, reasonable suggestions are put forward but not imposed on the child.

5. As a result, children may not really love their parents in their hearts: Perhaps parents' excessive control can cultivate children who are very successful academically, but it seems that they have cultivated "winners in life", and children may not really recognize and love their parents from the heart, and even hate their parents.