Help revise this poem, it s more beautiful

Late at night, a figure flashed in my mind, and I inexplicably began to miss someone, who was that person? Keep me awake at night;

Who is that man? Makes me physically and mentally exhausted.

It's not that I don't want to sleep, it's that momentary longing takes up the night;

It's not that I can't sleep, it's the inner spirit that awakens the night.

Such affectionate longing, such a deep impression, tenderly caressing my heart and gently grasping my soul.

I can't give up my soul.

Because it is the long-suppressed love in the heart, the soul that is about to erupt!

The glow of the sun swept through the sleeping night, and at this time I realized that the dream could be so psychedelic and searched for the familiar figure in my memory.

Seeking, seeking, seeking.

suddenly discovered that in the previous life, you and I had already fallen in love.

Such a deep longing, the "missing" in this sentence is to take care of the previous "It's not that I don't want to sleep, it's that momentary longing that occupies the night; "Missing"? If so, the "infatuation" in the previous sentence should be changed, if not, it is better to change it to "missing", there is a depth and degree, and there will be no repeated plots. Humble opinion.

It can all be changed to the second person, which seems more targeted and the feelings will be more sincere:

Late at night, your figure flashed in my mind, and I inexplicably began to miss someone, who are you? Keep me awake at night;

Who are you? Makes me physically and mentally exhausted.

It's not that I don't want to sleep, it's that momentary longing takes up the night;

It's not that I can't sleep, it's the agility of that moment that awakens the night.

Such an affectionate infatuation, such a deep longing, bewitches the heart, bewitches the soul;

You are the love of my heart, you are the other half of my soul.

I thought that it was removed, so that it was more certain.

The glow swept through the sleeping night, and at this time I realized that dreams could be so real and psychedelic, and I struggled to find the familiar figure in my memory.

Added real, because of the embodiment of thoughts).

I never found out that in my previous life, you and I were already in love.

With a cry.

He came into the world.

A little boy.

Ordinary little boy.

Sometimes he gets a bit narcissistic and thinks he has some cleverness.

Sometimes he cares a lot about other people's words and feelings, and he is sad and heartbroken alone, he is not good at talking to others, but he always has a smile on his face.

He always made many promises, but rarely fulfilled them.

He always likes to make excuses for his mistakes, but he always can't let go of it in his heart, silently compensating for the fact that few people find out.

His bright eyes sometimes welled with tears.

Grievances, troubles, sorrows, and pains are always silently hidden in a nobody's corner, what is the theme of your poem, growth? Love? Indignation? Find your own topic and write it down, and I'll have time to look at it for you.

Inadvertently fell into the red dust.

Like a speck of dust.

Light. The angel with folded wings incarnates.

The little boy boasted of himself with his clever capital.

However, he is always alone in the corner caressing his broken wings.

Broken wings, broken hearts.

Always pretending to be perfect with a smile.

Pretending to be strong with promises.

Compensate for the excuses that once existed with silent actions.

Tearful eyes were covered in mist.

Keep your eyes open. Try not to let the tears that symbolize fragility slip ...

The literary style is not high.,,It's ugly.。。 But I still hope it can be adopted、、、

A little advice: First of all, your first sentence should not be written like this, it should be a little life that is more decent. Others are good. But in the end, the hypocrisy should be removed, maturity, stability or arrogance can be adopted, and I don't know where you are extending

The little boy was changed to "a baby".

Ask a question: My question asks me to revise it.

My father died and was to be buried, but my mother was still alive. What to pay attention to when preparing to choose a double tomb.

1.Before the monument is erected, the mother must be consulted. The mother's consent must be obtained before the monument to the father can be erected. If the mother did not agree, she would not have erected a monument to the father.

2.After my mother agreed to erect the monument, we knew that my mother would definitely be buried with my father after she died, so we must pay attention to the writing of the inscription. We must engrave our father's name aside when we write the text. And on the other side, it is better not to engrave the mother's name.

If the mother agrees to engrave her name, she must also be painted in red.

3.The monument to the father must be erected after the third anniversary of the father, it is best for the children to be present together, and the children will jointly pay for the monument to choose an auspicious day of the zodiac!

Question: My attention question is: Do I need to look at the eight characters when choosing a double cemetery? Do you need a child's eight characters?

Among the four pillars, if you encounter any of them, there is a tomb.

You said that your four pillars have two tombs, and that's how you checked.

It's very well written, I can't change it o(o, as for the name, I'll write two, you pick it!

The Olympic Dream Olympics is a poem.

It's a bit winding, and the rhyme and content are a bit. The first two sentences are flat and rao. The special characters of the four sentences do not match the meaning of the sentence.

Five or six sentences feel like the order should be changed. Seven or eight sentences are very good, and to ninety people feel that there is a lack of transition. The last four sentences feel disconnected from the seven or eight sentences, and when viewed independently, nine sentences are not clear, and ten sentences are not correct with the words, so it would be better to change them to verbs.

And the last two sentences will be more infectious if they can bring obvious emotions, simple actions are not like drunk, and remove the words after throwing and lifting, and adding words with corresponding emotions before may be a bit eye-catching.

Personal insights.

It's hard to change the poem, I don't know what the author wants to express, how can I change it? Except for obvious errors in basic knowledge and common sense, the rest is difficult to start.

There is a problem with the poem as a whole, there is no theme. I can't see what kind of feelings the landlord wants to express. None of the sentences or two sentences in a row are beautiful, but when they are put together, they don't know what to do, and that's how I see it.

It's like a person, looking at it separately, the nose, eyes, eyebrows, ears, etc. are all beautiful, but when they are put together, how to look at it is not smooth.

In addition, as a poem, there must always be a rhyme, so that it is catchy to read. It can be . . . The end word rhymes, or . .

The tail word rhymes. It can also be a rhyme to the end, or it can be changed halfway, but not too much.

The words at the end of each sentence of your poem are: paper, work, wind, beads, heart, pine, and incense. Can't find rhyme.

The above personal opinions are for reference.

Changed to drunk wind and collect huge waves, it feels more charming.

Instead, the snow is lifted and dyed with fragrant plums It feels more charming.

I didn't understand what the whole poem was trying to say.