Who would tell a joke and be in a very depressed mood!

Besides, when the train passed in front of my house, the train passed anyway.

A couple was talking, and the woman said to the man, "Honey, will you go shopping with me tomorrow?" Male:

No, I have to go to work tomorrow. Woman: "Then you ask for leave!"

The man reluctantly said, "Please." Female:

Then you say your uncle is dead! The man said angrily: "Last time, my uncle died twice to accompany you, and if we continue like this, the two of us have negotiated, and my relatives have also died......."”

Received an unfamiliar number from Shenzhen (not in Shenzhen). Background cut -- the other party's sister paper: Hello, this is xx insurance, we are now doing a market research on you, in order to ensure your rights and interests, the call has begun to be recorded.

Me: Wait, I'll record it too. The other party hesitated for 2 seconds and hung up the **.

One day, the little sister came to the Buddha and saw that the Buddha was very holiday.

Come and say "Hahahahahaha..."

Joke: No matter how cold it is for 1 day, don't persuade your girlfriend to wear more, it's useless, because for most girls, stinky beauty is far more important than keeping warm. Therefore, what you have to do is not to persuade her to wear more, but to wear more yourself, and when she says cold, you will silently take off one for her to wear...

I dreamed of taking the college entrance examination, the Education Bureau did activities, and the college entrance examination score was 500 minus 300, and I took the 499 exam and became the champion.

Laziness is a good excuse to say as if you can really do something big if you are diligent Fat is also a good excuse to say as if you can really look good when you are thin You don't want to fall in love is also a good excuse to say as if you can really be looked at when you want to be in love.

To this day, there are three suggestions for filling in the college entrance examination: 1Don't fill in the journalism major. This industry is not good, and when it returns to spring one day, you can do it if you don't learn, and I am an example;

2.If you can study science and engineering, you don't need to study liberal arts, it is difficult to find a job, make a fortune, and get promoted.

3.Try to avoid the professions that artificial intelligence can replace, such as translation, journalism, etc., Lao Han I am an example.

Yesterday I attended the wedding ceremony.

The master of ceremonies asked the two newcomers: Who will hold the financial power in the future.

The newcomers said in unison: Me.

The master of ceremonies said: The debut question will test you, and whoever answers it will belong to whomever it is.

First give the groom a question: how much is a pound of cucumber and eight pounds, and five pounds and four taels. When the time comes, the groom does not know.

Ask the bride: How much is a pound of tomatoes for a dollar, and two pounds.

Bride: Two pieces.

Walking in the neighborhood in the evening, I saw an old woman who accidentally dropped her crutches on the ground and couldn't pick them up with great effort. At this time, the old grandmother saw me, and she hurriedly said, "Child, I am too old to bend down, you can help."

I said, "No problem! After saying that, he pressed the old grandmother's head with both hands and bent her waist hard.

When I was young, I would make 1 plus 1 equal 2. And the neighbor's big brother will make 10,000 plus 10,000 equals 20,000. I admire how he can do such a big number. He also said that when he goes to college, he will know how much 100 million plus 100 million is.

The eldest sister of the dormitory asked the sisters in the mirror, "Am I looking very old?" The little sister said: "I don't look old, but I'm too anxious to ......."”

Listening to a group of men in the unit talking about private money, everyone was lamenting that they would be found by their wives no matter what; Angkor, who was across from me, said lightly, "I keep all the bank." The crowd asked

What about a passbook or card? Angkor smiled innocently: "Burn it."

When you want to use it, take your ID card to replace it. ”

Don't be unhappy, and if you want to joke about it in the future, come to me.

One day Xiaoqiang asked his father: "Dad, am I a stupid child?" Dad said, "Silly boy, how can you be a stupid child?" ”

14.A medium-rare steak and a medium-rare steak were met on the street, why didn't they say hello? (Assuming they can talk).

Because .........Because .........

Because they don't know each other

15.Question: How do you calm a sparrow?

Reason: Silent (silent pressing).

16.A college student was unfortunately caught by the enemy, who tied him to a telephone pole and then asked him: "Say, are you **?" If you don't say anything, I'll electrocute you!! The college student replied to the enemy, and as a result, he was electrocuted ......

He said, "I'm from the University!" ”

One day, the thin man and his wife, the chubby girl (so fat that you can't imagine), drove home after strolling outside, but the car was about a kilometer away from home when the car went wrong, and the thin man started the car several times, but the car did not respond. At this moment, two young men passed by, and they seemed to notice the thin man's trouble, and said, "We will help you push the car home, but you will give us two hundred yuan."

The fat girl originally refused, but the thin man said: "Wife, it's impossible to push the car home without our hands, so it's better to spend a little money to save effort!" "The fat girl thinks it makes sense and unifies.

So the two young men struggled to push the cart with a fat man and a thin man, and when they got home, the thin man paid for it. The fat girl said angrily: "It's only a few hundred meters away and it costs two hundred yuan, it's really cheap for them!"

After hearing this, the thin man smiled and said, "Hehe! Wife, in fact, they are not so easy, along the way, I have stepped on the brakes!

There was a big man in my neighborhood, he went to plant beans, picked a handful of ash (the ash left after firewood burning, can be used as fertilizer) uphill, looked at the dark ash, and sighed in his heart: This year's beans must have a good harvest.

The day before yesterday, he went to visit his beans, but the ground was hard and erected patches of cement, and the seedlings did not grow, and he was so depressed that he went home and told his mother, he didn't know, ** one night, and finally understood. It turned out that when he built the house, he left half a bag of cement behind the door, and his mother had a bad eye, thinking it was ash, so he poured ash from the stove on it, and when he went to plant beans, he saw the bag and thought it was ash, so he picked it up.

This is the first ever to plant beans with cement, our village has nothing to tell him this story this is absolutely true, our village three villages, ask what culture, all love these big jokes.

Look at next week's Happy Camp, the five leading actors of Love Apartment 3: Yifei, Xiaoxian, Guan Gu, Yoyo, and Meijia. It's really funny! o( oHa!

Let me ask you a question, do you want to laugh? What do you want to drink, can you?

Look at how funny the happy base camp life is every day, and see which one is more with your appetite.

Here in our county, there is a Rolls-Royce owner whose son attends elementary school in the same class as his grandson.