How to communicate with your child, your child will be obedient

Some parents often feel that it is difficult to communicate with their children, and they either cry or make trouble when they are willful, or they pretend not to hear, they don't eat soft and hard, and they don't know how to reason with their children. Sometimes, it is difficult to even let the child open his mouth to speak, let alone how to communicate with the child.

How to guide children to communicate effectively and let them listen to their own words? Here, Xing'er will share with you a few common practical methods.

Problem: The child cries willfully, makes trouble unreasonably, and does not listen to what he says.

Solution: Understand your child's emotions and say what he wants to say to us first.

Example: Passing by a toy store, your child wants to buy a car, but there are already several at home, so you decide not to buy it for him, and the child starts crying.

What to cry about! There are so many at home, don't think I'll buy you again! ”

We already have a car at home, can we go home and have fun? ”

You like this little car very much, but your mother won't buy it for you, and you're very angry, so that's why you're crying, right? But we already have a lot of cars in our family, so my mother decided not to buy them for you anymore, otherwise it would be too wasteful, and we should give this car to other children, okay? ”

If you're still upset, you can cry or let your mom hug you. ”

When faced with the negative emotions of the child, the mother above expresses her understanding of the child through empathy, says what the child wants to say in her heart, and allows the child to vent. In this way, children will not only think about their grievances, and will be able to listen to their parents' reasoning.

Similarly, it is also convenient for parents to make rules with their children in the future, as long as the attitude of adults is gentle and firm, children will no longer ask for things willfully on the road.

Your friend's way to make a heart.

Like him, respect him, and reason with him!

Communication between parents and children is very important, which will also make parents more understanding of their children's ideas, so as to make better moves, there are many parents in educating their children, always with a lofty attitude, which will alienate the distance between parents and children, even if the child encounters difficulties or has any problems are not willing to tell their parents, this will make the child's personality more introverted and withdrawn, so parents should master the correct communication skills of their children.

Parents should treat their children as equals. Don't always be very loud when talking to your child, don't intimidate and criticize your child, but communicate with your child in a very gentle tone, and occasionally you can choose to squat down and talk to your child, which will give your child a kind feeling, don't have a condescending posture to treat your child, learn to respect and understand your child's words and deeds, then your child will feel that you are very reliable, and will naturally choose to listen to you.

Parents need to be approved by their children when communicating and communicating. Parents must not think that children are young and do not know much, with the continuous development of society, the Internet has penetrated into our daily life, children also understand that many adults do not know knowledge, if the child is reasonable, then parents should not blindly choose to refute, but to listen, must not do everything according to their own ideas, can not be too arbitrary, it is best to have a consultative tone, so as to increase the child's sense of existence, the child will not do everything against the parents.

Parents should encourage their children more and deny them less when communicating. After all, children in the process of growing up desperately hope to be recognized by others, if parents often choose to suppress children, it will make children lose confidence in themselves, resulting in some resistance, will no longer believe in and rely on parents, first of all, parents should be an example for children, then children will listen to parents.

You should respect your child and listen to what your child's needs are when you chat, and you can also encourage your child to do something, or care more about your child and take your child out to play, so that the relationship between parents and children is one step closer, so that your child will listen to you.

First of all, it is necessary to communicate patiently, and then when communicating, we must calm our mentality and posture, do not want children to feel like a prosperous world, and learn to tolerate and understand each other.

The child is still young, you can't use too strong tones, this will only backfire and make him more rebellious, you have to reason with him.

Grasp the psychology of children, empathy, communication, and obedience.

It is important to master the following methods and skills in communicating with children:

1. Be sure to communicate with your children on an equal footing, and you must not be condescending, or even not always understand that your children have matured and grown up, which may make your children feel that there is no way to communicate and communicate with their parents, or even feel that their parents cannot understand themselves.

2. Be more tolerant and patient, especially when the child already has a sense of independence, be more tolerant of the child's thoughts, and then let the child express himself bravely and have more opportunities to express it. 3. It is also necessary to use skills to communicate and communicate with children to effectively alleviate the problem of poor communication, such as giving children more opportunities to express, and at the same time giving more affirmation to children's opinions and suggestions, encouraging children to have their own ideas, and when children have some very good ideas, we must encourage children to do it bravely, rather than always pouring cold water on children.

1. Make your child feel that you really want to talk to him.

When I talk to my child, I often use these uplifting words, such as, "Wow, I get it!" "Is this true?

Tell Mom more. "It's so interesting, and next time my mom wants to try it with you." "When a child thinks that his parents are listening to him, he will be more willing to listen to his parents.

2. Make your child feel like you're protecting his face.

No matter how much wrong your child has made, pay attention to his personal feelings and ask not "why" but "what happened?" You okay? "It will be better for the child to be watched.

The last thing you should do is to criticize or count your child in public, which will expose his embarrassment and embarrassment to others, which will cause resentment and hostility towards the child's parents, resulting in ineffective communication.

3. Let your child feel that you are rational and peaceful.

If you are very angry at your child's behavior or something and feel that you will have a huge negative outburst, then please leave your child for a while and wait for you to regain your composure before going to your child for a theory. In fact, what we need most for our children to see is a peaceful parent, a parent with self-control, and a role model who will not be difficult for anything, so that they will worship us and listen to our opinions and suggestions.

4. Don't let your child see your impatience.

Every parent will have times when they are extremely tired or upset, and if the child happens to come to you to talk at this time, you may react badly. You might say, "Go and stay there, I don't want to talk to you right now."

But a better approach is to be a passive listener by telling your child something like, "Mommy is a little tired, but she likes to listen to what you tell Mommy what you want to say, can Mom just listen quietly?" This will make your child feel that you are sincere and work hard for him, and at the same time, he will learn to empathize with his mother's difficulties and think about what he should do.

5. Let your child feel that you really help him.

When the problem occurs, don't rush to make a big sense, and don't blindly dwell on negative topics such as "why", but let the child know as soon as possible that mom or dad will help him plan a remedial plan, or discuss a series of practical solutions together, so that the child can feel your sincere help, let Chunxiao Zheng come out of his worry and fear, so as to communicate with you more honestly.

Distract your child, find out why, set rules, and set an example.

1.Distract children: Children will be a little rebellious or willful in early childhood, adults say east, he is biased to the west, especially disobedient.

Young children can't listen to the reason, but the method of diverting the child's attention will be more effective, such as when the child is disobedient and crying, you can put aside the current matter for the time being, use other things to divert the child's attention, and wait for the child's mood to improve, and then guide and educate the child, then the child can often listen to the reason.

2.Find the cause and prescribe the right medicine: Parents should observe and analyze more, communicate with their children patiently, and find out the superficial reasons and internal thoughts of their children's disobedience, or the children's behavior patterns. In addition, if the child is sick, he is not feeling well, he is uncomfortable, and he will not be very obedient.

3.Make rules: Consult with your child to clearly state or write down the rules, as well as the time limit for completion, and clear rewards and punishments. For example, wash your hands before eating every year, and remember a small red flower after washing.

4.Role model: When children are young, they know what is wrong, but they may not know what to do is right. Therefore, parents should demonstrate in person and teach their children how to do it. For example: how to place items.

1. When a child loses his temper, if he is stopped by beating and scolding, it will often make him more emotional. This is something we should treat calmly, don't rush to convince him, let him stay alone in the house for a while, and it won't be long before he calms down, and then reason with him, and he will accept it.

2. Sometimes the child's way of doing things is not correct, and the adult will stop it, which will make the child lose his temper. In fact, parents need to think from the perspective of their children, and their children will not know that their methods are not good if they have not tried it. Therefore, in the absence of danger, you can let the child experience it appropriately, he has tried, hit a wall, and then reason with him, he will understand more and be more willing to accept.

3. In the process of growing up, children will inevitably do wrong things. If parents only know how to blame their children, they will be more rebellious and disobedient. Therefore, when the child does something wrong, what parents should do is not to blame the child, but to understand the child, patiently ask why he is doing this, and help him analyze the consequences of doing so, so that he can realize the seriousness, learn how to solve such problems in the future, and regulate his emotions.

Children are all independent individuals, and their personalities are also diverse. Parents don't really need their children to obey their own opinions. Respect your child's individuality and independence.

Don't be in a hurry. Be friends with him, get along with him as equals, get to know him, understand him, and truly become his bosom friend.

He will have a heart with you.

Many people feel that the older the child, the more disobedient, this is because with the accumulation of children's knowledge and rich life experience, they have an ignorant understanding of life, due to the influence of the environment, personal psychological factors, etc., they can not do the things around them every time and therefore feel helpless, a sense of frustration, and then irritability, sentimentality, emotional instability, and even against teachers, parents. In the face of such children, we should not blame the children for all kinds of crimes, and even make some radical behaviors to the children, such as: criticizing him and ridiculing him in front of other children, especially for them to criticize and educate them round after round, which will only make our children more rebellious and difficult to discipline, and a little carelessness will also force the child to the extreme road, which will not only cause permanent psychological damage to the child, but also ruin the child's life.

In fact, children's rebellion is a stage of adolescence, not that children are ignorant and learn badly, as long as we correctly treat the psychological changes of children in special periods, and communicate more with children, and use a rational attitude to tolerate children and accommodate children, you will find that they are just a child who does something wrong. Who can be innocent in life, don't sentence your child to an unforgivable sin because of this.

I think that in order to communicate effectively with children, we must first have love, love children, and love children seems to be our nature, but in the process of love, our love will sometimes deteriorate, and love itself will be deformed. What does it mean to love children? This is a topic we can discuss, and once we know what kind of love will make our children grow up healthy and happy, then we will find a standard of love.

The most important thing to love a child is to respect the child, respect his personality and emotions as an independent person, including his choices. If a child's feelings and experiences are not respected and protected, it is easy for him to go to extremes. It's hard to change it after you freeze it.

Confucius said: "If you don't teach, your father's fault" is reasonable. The father's behavior will be the standard for the child to imitate throughout his life.

It is also necessary to respect some of the child's views and ideas. Even if it's naïve and ridiculous, you have to be very serious, and you want to go like a friend and a child**. Point out the disadvantages and fully affirm the advantages. He will be willing to talk to you. Don't laugh, blame, or even deny.

1. Try to educate your child individually and conversationally, and avoid public reprimands.

2. Change the way of education that only says but does not do. Try to avoid pale preaching, but instead set an example for your children.

3. Be strict with your children, avoid being too casual in front of your children, and maintain your prestige in front of your children.

4. Don't always talk in your child's ear about how you pay for him, compare yourself with him when you were a child or compare other children with him.

5. Parents can not be a crutch for their children's learning, and when they encounter problems that their children do not understand, parents can discuss with their children and guide them to think by themselves, rather than completely doing it for them.