Ancient and modern jokes 30 words. Hurry up

Xiao Ming was discussing shrimp with a friend one day, when the teacher came up and said, "What are you discussing?" Xiao Ming said

Shrimp. (The teacher became blind when he heard this," he said"What the?.

Xiao Ming said again: "Shrimp! When the teacher heard this, he was very angry, turned around and walked out of the classroom.

Xiao Ming followed and said to the teacher, "Teacher, real shrimp! ”

1. The little comma didn't get up until eight o'clock, and he didn't care about washing his face, so he ran away with his schoolbag.

Breathless, he ran into the classroom, shouted "report," and sat down in his seat to listen to the geography teacher.

The little comma replied with a red face: "Classes start at eight o'clock, and if you enter the classroom after eight o'clock, you will be late!" ”

2. The professor of economics said in class: "Students, foreign workers have a great influence on us, and who of you can know that foreign workers in a country make the most money?" Is it Tailao, Yuelao, Filao, or ......”

3. The chemistry professor explained an organic chemical reaction process to the students in class.

He said: "Attention, students! At the beginning of this reaction, there were a total of 25 carbon atoms, but now? There are only 24 ......He paused for a moment, waiting for the students' reactions, but the classroom was silent.

The professor had no choice but to point to the comma in the front row and say, "Where did the other carbon atom go?" Do you know?

The little comma muttered: From the beginning of the class to the present, no one has left the classroom!

4. The teacher asks a student: Did you copy someone else's test paper?

Yes. I copied some, but not all.

Teacher: What are the places that were not copied?

Comma: The name is not.

5. There is a primary school teacher with a strong local accent, one day in class, he asked the students: 50 + 9 =?

The little comma muttered in her heart: "Martial arts + wine =?" Martial Arts + Wine =? ”

Suddenly realized, he replied: Drunken fist

In the public toilet, I suddenly heard someone talking in the toilet, friend, do you have a tissue? I rummaged through my pockets, sorry, no. After a few seconds, the man asked again

Friend, got a small piece of newspaper? I smiled helplessly, I'm sorry, no, I'm just here to pee. After a few more seconds, a 10 yuan piece was stuffed into the crack of the toilet door, friend, can it be broken into 10 pieces of 1 piece?

Then I gave him 10 coins.

The soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a mine during the battle? The company commander was annoyed: What can I do? If you step on it, you will be compensated according to the price.

1.A woman has two conditions for marriage.

Be handsome. Have a car.

The computer went to help her search.

Result Chess.

This woman, dissatisfied with the results of the search, entered again.

To have a beautiful house.

To have a lot of money.

The computer went to help her search again for the results of the bank.

The woman was still not disappointed and continued to enter the conditions.

Be cool. And have a sense of security.

The result of the search was:

Altman. In the end, the girl decided to enter all the conditions into the computer one last time, and finally the computer showed that Ultraman was playing chess in the bank.

A three-year-old boy took a three-year-old girl's hand and said, "I love you." The little girl said, "Can you take responsibility for my future?" The boy said, "Of course, we are not one or two years old!" ”

In the office, female white-collar workers asked their male colleagues to tell a short and connotative yellow joke. The man pondered for a moment and said eight words: "I am Hoe He, you are the noon!" ”