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Most young people don't fall in love just once, and if you calm down and remember your love history, you will find that there must be common characteristics in several of your partners. Some people are looking for the object of very honest people, and some people are looking for objects are "scumbags", "money worshippers", etc., why you are always looking for the same type of object, it must be in your subconscious that you need the characteristics of him and her, and this trait is like an invisible magnet to attract you, you don't know why, you are attracting this kind of person to close to you.
In developmental psychology, the 3-6-year-old childhood period is called the Oedipus period, at this time we will have a special complex for parents of the opposite sex, boys have a mother-love complex, girls have a father-love complex, and psychologically they will also identify with the parents of the opposite sex, provided that the relationship between parents is good, and the parent-child relationship is also good. So the subconscious template for finding a partner when you grow up is the image of your parents of the opposite sex, and your other half must be very similar to your father or mother in some way. However, if your parents are divorced, or one of your parents has a bad parenting style when you are a child, and there are domestic violence behaviors such as beating and scolding, insults, etc., it will have a shadow on your psychology, and this trauma will always remind you not to look for the same person as the person who has hurt you, so you will look for someone who is the opposite of your parents of the opposite sex.
For example, if your father loves to drink, and when he comes home from drinking, he will beat his mother and you, so when you look for a partner in the future, you are likely to find a boy who does not drink, because the act of drinking has left a shadow of fear and hurt in the heart of a child.
Because my original family is not happy, it has also had a lot of impact on my love, and I don't know how to get along with each other many times. So it's always clumsy in love.
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Shoubu Yuntangi is screened first, and people get along with each other to the end of the fight for morality.
It is not required to be like a saint, but the following kinds of people must not be wanted.
1.People who don't know how to be grateful are not allowed to make a lot of noise to those close to them.
2.People who are rotten all day long, stay away from negative people, and reduce internal friction.
3.People who can't see the good of others, this shortcoming determines the highest peak.
Find people outside of these three categories and believe that your life will not be too bad.
In the second step, you should follow your heart.
For example, what type do you like, career-minded or humorous, optimistic, etc., list what you imagine, and have an understanding of yourself first. Look for it again and take your seat.
The third step is to find someone you think is okay and take your time.
Feelings are all out of business. You may quarrel over trivial matters and feel that your personalities are not compatible. Is it really because of personality incompatibility?
The essence of a quarrel is that the needs of the other party are not being met.
It means that the other party's needs are met, and the relationship can be run very well.
A scene where the other person asks you to say something that you feel very uncomfortable. Most people will argue that what you said is not right, and if it is more intense, it will become an argument.
1.Meditation is a very crucial step. Quarrels arise when emotions are out of control. You know you love each other, you want to manage the relationship well, and you can't hurt the other person.
This is a very important step, but not many people are able to do it.
When you want to speak, don't say anything and calm yourself down.
It can be seen that the importance of controlling emotions needs to be cultivated slowly.
Consciousness is the beginning of change. You can see here, you're already more than most people.
2.Learn to apologize and not distinguish between right and wrong in front of your lover.
Don't care who's wrong, you first said that I didn't handle what happened just now, I'm sorry it's all my fault.
Maybe a lot of people want to spray me, isn't my status low when I say this, especially many girls. If you think so, please quit, we have different values.
There is another situation, I really am not wrong, why should I admit my mistake. The idea is quite right, even if it is used outside, it must have its own position.
But it's different, the other party is your lover. You want to make the other person happy, you love him, you can't hurt him.
Remember, whoever wants to change takes the initiative first.
Maybe you're really right. But you realize that you want your relationship to be better, and you know that this is a small step that can make you better, so why not.
3.Express your feelings, reminisce about that incident with the other person, and what you just said makes me very sad.
The other party is likely to realize that he will definitely make progress slowly and get better little by little in the future.
Probably a little off topic, it doesn't matter.
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First of all, you must integrate into your favorite circle, as long as both parties have common hobbies and life goals, how to get along is happy.
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Finding the right person to fall in love with is a complex and personal process, and everyone's experiences and needs are different. However, I can give you some advice to help you find someone who is a good match for you.
First of all, you can start by having a clear understanding of yourself. Knowing your interests, values, goals, and needs can help you know more clearly what type of partner you want. Positioning yourself can help you choose a partner with a more specific understanding of which qualities and traits are important to you.
Second, you can take the initiative to expand your social circle. Participating in activities with similar interests, joining social groups, or meeting new people through a friend's introduction are all great ways to meet new people and find the right partner. Try to connect with different people, chat with them more often, get to know their personalities, interests, and values, and see if they are a good fit for you.
At the same time, keep an open mind. When looking for the right person, don't deliberately set too high or too low standards, and give yourself some space to interact with each other authentically. Different people have different strengths and weaknesses, and maintain an inclusive and accepting attitude when meeting new people.
In addition, maintain active communication during the interaction. By interacting and communicating with each other, understand each other's needs, expectations, and ways of thinking. If there are disagreements or conflicts, communicate and resolve them in a timely manner to avoid accumulating dissatisfaction and misunderstandings.
Good communication deepens understanding and trust between both parties and lays the foundation for a stable and healthy relationship.
Finally, be patient and timely. Finding the right person is a process of trial and error and adjustment, and it's likely not to be found all at once. Don't rush to focus too much on "finding", relax your mind, enjoy your single time, be yourself, and trust that the right person for you will appear in your life.
In short, dating is a process of discovery, exploration, and growth. Remember to be authentic and honest, establish good interaction and communication with the other person, and be patient and open-minded. Most importantly, trust that the heavens will make the right person for you appear in your life.
Good luck!
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Love is beautiful, love is warm and romantic.
At the same time, when men get married and women get married, when we grow up, we all have to face the task of getting married and starting a family. ......Therefore, finding a partner, falling in love, and getting married are things that each of us has to do. ......In this way, we pursue our own love and strive for a happy life for ourselves in the future.
If you want to fall in love, you have to find a partner.
There are several specific ways to find objects:
1. Get to know the person you like in the process of interacting with people.
Each of us has our own range of interpersonal interactions. ......In this range of interpersonal communication, we can find the object of our affection.
At this time, we can interact with each other, and when the relationship with each other reaches a certain level, we can confess our sincerity, fall in love with each other, and pursue our own happiness.
This method is the process of finding the object of our liking in the process of interacting with others, so it is also our favorite way.
2. Introduced by relatives and friends.
Because everyone has a limited range of human interactions, we may not be able to meet the person we love.
At this time, it is time for our family and friends to help ......They will look for the right person for you within their interpersonal range and then introduce it to you, so that you can meet more people, find the object of your affection, go on a blind date with them, and if you are satisfied with each other, you can fall in love.
3. Go to a marriage agency to get married.
Since friends and family have limited contacts, they may not find a suitable match for you.
At this time, you can go to the marriage agency to ask for marriage. ......Since there are many people who go to the marriage agency to ask for marriage, they have a greater chance of meeting the right person ...... for themOnce the blind date is successful, you can fall in love.
The above methods are all very suitable ways to find a partner. We can choose according to our actual situation.
Of course, since the way to go to the marriage agency to ask for marriage has not gone through their own long-term investigation, and there is no guarantee from relatives and friends, they must be cautious in the blind date process, so as to ensure that their interests are not lost, so that they can truly find their own love.
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Once talked to a friend all night about her future plans, and when she talked about what kind of career goals she would achieve, her eyes were full of light, as if she illuminated the dark road to the future.
But as soon as the topic changed, she said that she was fine with herself now, and she no longer dared to look forward to the arrival of another person, and that intimacy was a beautiful bubble that she was distant but didn't want to touch.
She said that when she looks back on the time she was with him, the two people who loved each other were like two hedgehogs, expecting to be close to each other and worrying about hurting each other.
Human beings are inherently emotional animals, and the quality of intimate relationships directly determines the happiness of life.
When we grow up, we meet lovers with different personalities and start intimate relationships with them, but how can we have intimate relationships that make us comfortable?
How to Hug a Hedgehog The book mentions that personality is an important factor in the quality of love. Love is also a valuable opportunity for people to improve their personality flaws.
The author of the book is Duan Xinxing, a professor at the School of Public Administration at China University of Mining and Technology and a Ph.D. in Developmental and Educational Psychology at Beijing Normal University.
The content of the book is a complete show of the nine personality types divided by personality psychology, how they behave and feel in intimate relationships, and gives practical advice on how to get along with people with different personalities in intimate relationships. The author also selects a film or drama for each personality type, providing a resource for readers to understand the personality type in depth.
How to Hug a Hedgehog: Personality Recognition, Acceptance, and Giving in Love and Marriage.
JD.com. Monthly sales 500
Purchase. 01. The background color of love is personality.
I don't know if you have noticed that you always like a certain type of lover? Even if the object of intimacy is a different person, there is always something similar between them.
The author Duan Xinxing said in the book that the lover we meet is often a projection of the mirror of our self, through which we can see clearly our own personality behind the hidden behavior, and we can also see the deepest needs of our own heart through this mirror.
In love, it is our unique personalities that secretly guide each other to attract each other.
For example, people with dependent personalities tend to be attracted to lovers with controlling personalities, while avoidant people tend to find problem-solving lovers.
The undertone of love is personality, and through loving others we can perceive and even change our personality and make us more complete.
A good intimate relationship should be a source of nourishment and nourishment for each other, in this relationship we can meet a better self and harvest a better love.
02. The love of narcissistic personality needs to embrace reality and truth.
Li Zhou is the owner of a design company, he has a handsome appearance and years of accumulated professional knowledge, every time he talks eloquently in front of customers, others cast admiration and fascination for him very much.
His wife Zhang Xiao was attracted to this way.
When Li Zhou first pursued Zhang Xiao, he must do everything in decoration, no matter what the problem can be solved quickly, Zhang Xiao gradually fell in love, and it didn't take long for Li Zhou to propose marriage.
But after marriage this one.
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The first love object of a college student should be to choose a more honest person, a more caring person, and never choose those who are flattering, 1Be intimate and understand each other;
2.When the other party is sad, they know how to comfort her moderately, even if they accompany her quietly;
3.Pick up the other party's ** as soon as possible, and if you don't have time, you have to tell the other party to contact you now that you are busy for a while, and you must take the initiative to contact the other party when you are free;
4.Don't forget to give a small gift or eat a meal to celebrate the other person's birthday;
5.It's best not to involve money;
6.Take the time to see each other's parents and build a long-lasting and strong relationship;
7.When the other party is happy, be happy for each other from the bottom of your heart!
8.Don't comment too much about their family, relatives, and partners. The better the friend, the less you should comment too much on other people's family affairs, friendship and family affection are not emotions on the same level, don't go over it, it's boring to talk about yourself.
Keep in mind that the older you get, the harder it is to find true friends. Cherish the people who gathered because of dreams and enthusiasm in their youth. Cherish this good simplicity and those sincere, flesh-and-blood friendships.
9.AA system, or similar AA system, to treat each other to each other. "The economic base determines the superstructure.
Financial fairness will make your relationship strong. Each other's income, consumption and three views should be at the same level as much as possible. This is conducive to the balance of the relationship between each other and is not prone to disagreement.
If you can't, try to treat each other with respect. Let the poor not covet or envy, and let the rich despise or look down on them.
10.Don't do business together. Too many interests can complicate simple friendships, even brothers have to settle accounts, and the slightest unfairness between friends will lead to resentment, and then resentment, and finally lead to the breakdown of the relationship.
11.Far fragrant and near smelly. Distance must produce beauty, don't rely too much on any relationship. Just like in a relationship, don't stick together too often. There must be enough space for each other to think of each other's goodness. It's okay to see each other, and don't remember you later.
12.Try not to borrow money, not to help the poor. Learn not to reach out to borrow money from friends, but also learn to refuse to lend money to friends. Most human nature does not stand the test of money. Most people don't want to repay the money they borrow, and it is difficult for those who ask for debts to open their mouths.
13.Keep in touch. No matter how deep the friendship is, it also needs to be properly connected to maintain it. I don't want to let the feelings be diluted by time, a message can pull the person who has gone far back to the side.
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Then you just tell him directly, and see his reaction after saying it very seriously and seriously. If he is shocked and says he doesn't like you, you can laugh and say, "I've lied to you, it's a prank; If he shows that he likes you, then you don't need me to teach you.
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