What it s like to go from friend to lover

Friends of ten years have become lovers, so they are not in a hurry for anything, they haven't done anything for ten years, they don't care about this time and a half, and they are not in a hurry to do many things they have done together for ten years. I was a junior high school classmate with my ex-boyfriend, and the school of college was the opposite door, and I was together until my senior year. I made sure that the relationship was a long time, and I didn't rush to hold hands and kiss, I rented a house next to the school, he lived in the dormitory, and after dinner in the evening, he sent me back to the rental house, and then walked back to the dormitory by himself, I didn't say that I wanted to enter the door and sit, I felt very stable, I didn't think that something would happen so soon, it was like this for ten years, and I was not in a hurry.

Since then, my patience for those who are anxious has become zero. When the people around us are in love and just confirm the relationship, we eat together every day and go out together, we just have a little more frequency than before, and if the other party has something, we don't bother, never check each other's posts, and we don't guess. If you make an appointment to eat or go out to play today, and suddenly something happens, you can send a text message and say, if you don't go today, let's go tomorrow.

There won't be any awkwardness, guess what, after all, in the past ten years, we have eaten together and gone out together countless times, not worse than this time and a half. It's too comfortable to get along with, and it's very accommodating, because after all, they also know each other's tempers, so they never quarrel. You can still be friends after a breakup.

I hope he is doing well. Other ex-boyfriends, I was relieved to know that you were not doing well, and the new girlfriend was not as beautiful as me hahahaha so happy, and how could you have time to care if you had a girlfriend, bye bye don't care. What about him, not at all, like caring about and blessing friends, he has a new girlfriend, it's so good, it's so beautiful, I bless them very much, I'm anxious for him when I quarrel, I'm so happy to get married, I have a child, I'm so cute and happy for him!

I always felt that ten years was actually very short and easy, and I thought that I could easily spend many ten years together, but I didn't expect to be separated after only one year together. Maybe all of these are the problems. <>

I don't know why there are such words in other people's emotional views In my opinion, love is love, no love is no love, there is no retreat, there is no compromise, if you can't meet someone you like, there is nothing wrong with being single for a lifetime, I like a happy life that is innocent and clean, and I also yearn for the true feelings of being broken and not broken, this is the first time I have received so many likes and comments on Zhihu, so I have been a little scared in my heart At the same time, for this kind of person's reply, to be honest, I am also a little angry, like this kind of person who doesn't understand other people's lives, and likes to speculate with his greatest malice, I can only say that your mouth is so poisonous, life must be very bitter, I never like to explain anything, but I don't want the person I love to be criticized and misunderstood by others because of my reasons, I can't see others being wronged for me, especially the bad comments of my husband who spoil me so much, I have deleted them, but I still have to say that in the online world, you have the freedom to express your own speech But this kind of freedom is also true to those who are cultured. It's also strange that I didn't express my experience clearly from the beginning, when my husband and I were sophomores in high school, it was true that because of the rejection of his confession, the two of them were embarrassed for a while, but then as time went on, both of them let go of their knots, forgot about the past, and gradually became friends, because they were not together in college, in fact, there was very little contact on weekdays, and they occasionally quarreled with each other, and when they went back to their hometown, they came out to make an appointment for dinner, and he kept complaining that there were few girls and couldn't find a girlfriend, and he was worried about what to do if he wanted to go on a blind date in the future For this reason, I also seriously considered whether to introduce the girl next to me to him, he is a very boring character, almost will not take the initiative to chat with anyone, I also talked about a boyfriend in my freshman year, and I have less contact with him, and then the relationship did not get along and broke up, physically and mentally exhausted, I just want to finish my studies, I don't dare to think about emotional matters for the time being, and the life is so dull and logical, no one thought that a few months ago, because of a certain popular game, the two of us started contact again, and when I came home on May Day, the two went out to eat together, and I haven't seen each other for a long time I didn't expect to have a different feeling in my heart when I said goodbye (in fact, I still haven't figured out how friends of so many years can achieve goodbye love...).At that time, there was a girl who had been chasing him for a long time, and when I found out, I chased him with all my power for several days, and he fell like this (I didn't expect it to be so fast, but he said he didn't expect it himself...).I think it's impossible for all of this to be unreasonable and unreasonable, so let's just attribute it to fate, if fate is you, take a little detour, suffer a little more grievance, it doesn't matter<>

The difference between a good friend and a lover is very obvious, a lover is a person who loves with all his heart, always thinks of wanting to give him the best of everything, wants to be with him for the rest of his life, wants to share all his joys and sorrows with him, wants to know all his joys and sorrows, and wants to live with him, wants to hold hands with him and move forward side by side, but good friends are not like this. I feel that good friends can talk, and we can share joy and sorrow together, but that's just it, there is no expectation and impulse to go to the white head together.

Many people are developed from friends, and when they are friends, they have different requirements and needs for each other, friends can listen to themselves, and they can also confide in themselves as a confiding object, but in this process, we have different definitions of friends. We don't have requirements for our friends, we don't ask him how to treat himself and respond to himself, but lovers are different, when we face lovers, we want the other party to be able to perceive their emotions, and we want the other party to be able to respond to their emotions with the same enthusiasm, this is the difference between friends and lovers.

Maybe in this process, there is no way to distinguish whether it is because I like him and want to be friends with him, or I just want to be a friend with him and it is difficult to develop to this step of lovers, in fact, in the face of this situation, you can think about it, if I lose this friend from now on, will I be able to accept the same person to come into my life for the rest of my life to share my joys, sorrows, sorrows, and sorrows. This is a more intuitive way to judge whether you want to develop into a lover or just want to be a good friend.

But if you have a clear perception of love, you don't need to take such a step, just face your heart seriously, and follow your heart, you can have a perfect love.

The difference is that the lover should be more intimate, he will live with you day and night, and good friends are not necessarily, the specific feeling is that you can see lovers every day, sometimes good friends can't see each other.

Lovers will pay more attention to their inner feelings, good friends should only appear in life, their lives will not interfere too much, and the feelings are still very different.

Maybe it's because you don't love enough, otherwise after experiencing vigorous love, how can you still be friends calmly. It's normal and common for friends to fall in love with each other over time. But it's rare for me to be able to live peacefully after a breakup.

or delete each other, and never get along. Either grudge and grit your teeth with hatred. Because only when you have loved deeply, you will have deep hatred.

I can still be friends after a breakup, and I think it's probably because we don't love each other enough. Otherwise, how could he tolerate the person he loved so deeply and eventually became a friend.

What a harrowing process. Two friends, I think the three views are the same, and it is more comfortable to be together, maybe I hit it off, so let's try it together. But after being together, the intimate relationship may make the two people at a loss, and finally find out that maybe the two people are really only suitable for the kind of relationship that is only suitable for friends, and they will not get along well as lovers.

So he stopped the loss in time and returned to the relationship with friends. But this kind of relationship will feel a little awkward to some extent. After all, the two of them used to be so intimate, and now they have returned to the relationship of friends, and there is always an unspeakable embarrassment.

Personally, I'm not going to let that happen. A friend is a friend, a lover is a lover, and you still want to be friends after a breakup? I'm sorry, I can't.

Because after all, I once really loved you deeply, so I'm sorry, I can't treat you as a friend anymore. You will always be part of my good memories, but please leave it in style and don't appear in my life again.

Who would have made such a decision if they hadn't loved deeply? Stopping to disturb each other's lives was the last thing I could do with this relationship that didn't end without a problem. So, let's have good memories of each other and turn away with kindness.

Not seeing each other again in this life is my last tenderness. So the people who can still be friends, have you really loved seriously?

This process is generally because it is too familiar and not suitable for lovers, and then, they can still communicate with each other without deep hatred, and they find that they are still suitable to be friends in the end and return to friends.

From friends to lovers to friends, it means that your relationship has gone through a lot, and then, even if it is not electricity, you can still be friends between you, which means that the relationship between you is still quite deep.

I think this shows that two people are really only suitable to be friends. Not suitable for lovers. Although the two of them get along very well as friends, they suddenly feel that they are not suitable for lovers. In the end, I will return to my friends.

I think this is a sad process, but also a process of ups and downs, from friends to lovers to friends, in fact, it is very helpless.

Maybe your relationship hasn't changed, but the way you get along has changed, right?

Maybe there are really two people who love each other, but they are not suitable to be together, maybe because the three views are different!

Painful process. Because being friends after a breakup has become different. It is a pity that people who once loved each other can only be friends now.

I don't think lovers can get along like friends.

Friends are like-minded to each other and can play together. To a certain extent, friends still follow a certain rationality in getting along with each other. For example, something happens that hurts the interests of a friend.

We can patiently explain this matter to our friends, explain our own grievances, and seek the understanding of the other party. At the same time, in order to make up for the loss of our friends, we can also come up with our own interests and do our best to satisfy our friends.

It can be said that as long as there is no conflict of interest between friends, which leads to a final emotional injury, most of them can still get along.

But lovers are different, and the relationship between lovers is one step closer than that of friends. There is a deeper physical contact between lovers, and there will even be skin intimacy. It stands to reason that lovers will feel that they are the closest people to each other.

This feeling can create some irrational emotions. For example, you are a more rational person. On the street, if your lover steps on someone else's foot, it stands to reason that it is enough to apologize. But your lover is by your side and is unreasonable with each other.

At this time, reason tells you to quickly change the conflict and apologize to the other party is the best solution. But if you do this, your lover will think that you don't love him, and his elbow will turn outward, but he will blame you and not understand your good intentions.

It can be said that lovers are unreasonable in many cases, and lovers are invested in each other's feelings, and of course they also consider the problem from the perspective of feelings. If the lovers weigh their interests, then the love will become sour.

To sum up, lovers and friends cannot get along in the same way due to the different intimacy of feelings.

Lovers get along like friends, probably because these two people are too shy, or these two people don't like each other at all.

If lovers really get along like friends, then they will feel that they are in a fake relationship.

Friends are tolerant and understanding, lovers are loving and possessive, so this way of getting along feels weird, obviously the relationship between lovers but to get along like friends, although it will be very easy but after a long time, the two are really friends.

There are also advantages and disadvantages, people want to be understood, but they are afraid of being seen through, there will be little secrets between lovers, and it is difficult to get along like friends and blue faces.

It will be very comfortable to get along, the two people will not have too many misunderstandings and constraints, they will get along more harmoniously, and both of them will be very happy.

It's cool, because there is no gap between you, because you are not only his boyfriend, but also a good friend to his soul.

It may be that you have been together for a long time, and being too familiar with each other will turn into an indifferent relationship, but this kind of relationship will generally stand the test.