Okay, it s not coming! Who tells a few short and funny jokes to listen to Sa. Humorous jokes

Professional managers and entrepreneurs.

Ma Yun said to professional managers and entrepreneurs: "I went up the mountain to fight wild boars, and when I shot them, the wild boar did not die and rushed over." It was a professional manager who threw the gun away and ran up the hill. When the bullets were finished, he threw the gun away, pulled out the firewood knife from his waist and the wild boar desperately, and it was the entrepreneur. ”

I still have to pretend to be a grandson.

After Yang Zhenning married Weng Fan, his friend said: I really wronged other girls, you can be her grandfather. Yang is very dissatisfied: I am even more wronged, her grandfather is two years younger than me, but I still have to pretend to be a grandson!

Wage earner: God, when will the salary be raised?

GOD: I don't see it anymore ...

Anger: MD, it is better to convert to Allah!

Question: O One Lord, when will the wages be raised?

Allah:.. Urgent: Your old man has something to say!

Allah:.. You better convert to Lao Tzu...

Q: When will the salary be raised?

Lao Tzu: To add is not to add, and not to add is to add.

Wage earner: ...

At this time, Confucius walked over, shook his head three times and said: "Woohoo, I am familiar with 30,000 volumes of scriptures, and I will be full without a salary increase." ”

Ambition is nothing but a slave to memory, born with vigor but difficult to grow.

Little Bina walked into the grocery store, clerk.

Asked, "What are you going to buy?" ”

Buy 10 pounds of sugar for 15 francs a pound, add 4 pounds of coffee for 90 francs a pound and buy 2 pounds of cream for 27 francs a pound, then add bread for 30 francs. Little Bina said.

594 francs. The clerk said.

If I give you a 1,000 franc bill, how much will you give me? ”

406 francs, hurry, I don't have time to rub shoulders with you. ”

Xiao Biye walked out of the store and said, "This is the homework that the teacher asked me to hand in tomorrow, and I don't know how to count it, thank you so much." ”

What to do if your boyfriend is gay.

When I was in high school, my English teacher (a middle-aged woman in her fifties) scolded us boys for not listening to the lectures, "What do you think? I was stunned, and somehow I said:

Miss you! There was silence in the classroom for a long time, just a pair of frightened eyes looking at me. The teacher stayed for a while, then pointed at me and yelled:

You're a stinky rascal! "Wrong.

A man was walking on the road, and suddenly a bandit rushed out and put a knife under his neck, and the bandit asked: "What is 1 plus 1?" The man panicked and said, "2." Later, the bandit killed the man, and the bandit said, "You know too much!" ”

There are three people who abc to meet the natives on the isolated island. And the natives said, If you do one thing, I will spare you from death. He said"Go to that forest and find one kind of fruit, and then pick ten. "

And then ABC went.

and when he came first, he took ten apples, and the natives said:"If you can eat ten apples together, I'll spare you from death. "aStuffed one, couldn't stop, and was killed.

b The second came back and took ten strawberries. Aboriginal people say"If you can eat ten strawberries together, I'll spare you from dying"When b had eaten the ninth, he suddenly began to laugh wildly, and then he was killed.

Later, when the two men went to heaven, the angel blamed b and said, Why are you laughing wildly, you don't have to die.

B said:"for I saw that ctook ten watermelons. "

In college, there was a classmate who played online games so crazy that he went to an Internet café almost every night. On this day, I came back all night and fell asleep on my desk during class. When the teacher saw him lying on his stomach, he called out his name to get up and answer the question, and the classmates next to him woke him up.

This god-like classmate straightened up in a daze, touched the inside of the desk, and then yelled angrily: "I'm rubbing, boss, where is my keyboard?" ”

When you read this message, you owe me a hug; Delete this text message, owe me a kiss; If you reply, you owe me everything; If you don't reply, you're mine.

I want you to be the second happiest person in the world, and you will ask: why not the first, because let me know you, I am the happiest person in the world.

You know that......An ugly person like you will definitely not be able to marry ......What should I do? I'm sacrificing.

Four machines, the mandarin duck weaving wants to fly double. Poor old man first white. The spring waves are green, the cold is deep, and the red clothes are relatively bathed. Given to you, the sea is dry and rotten, this love is unswerving!

From now on, your phone will be bombarded with text messages from me 24 hours a day, and you only have two options, one is that your defense line is completely destroyed; The second is to say that you love me.

What is Pride? Niubei! What is Modesty? Load! What is thrift? Pick! What is Smart? Blow! What is Beauty? You! Ha ha.

Let my wife be happy every day!

If your eyes blink, I'll die, and if your eyes blink again, I'll come back to life, and your eyes keep blinking and blinking, and I'll die and come back to life!

The 70-year-old man kissed the woman, and the woman said happily: Wife! You remind me of the first time you kissed me, do you remember?

The man couldn't remember it a little, and the woman whimpered and cried, making the man persuade and apologize. At night, in order to remember when he first kissed a woman, the man did not sleep for a whole night, but the next day he had high blood pressure and was forced to stay in the hospital for a month.

When a student asked a question, the teacher asked her to stand up and answer the question. After she answered halfway, she found that her train of thought was wrong, and she couldn't answer anymore, so she vomited. At this critical juncture, a note flew in front of her, and she seemed to feel that there was finally a hero to save the beauty.

She glanced at the note, which read, "You're dead!" ”

Two snails are playing in the room and one is hungry.

If you want to eat a bento, let another snail buy it. But after waiting for two hours, I didn't see the lunch, so I complained loudly:"Why haven't you come yet! "Another snail heard a sound at the door and replied"If you say anything more, I won't go! "

A: "Look at the kid playing with the ball, is it a boy or a girl?" ”

B: "It's a girl, she's my daughter." ”

A: "Oh......I'm sorry, I didn't know you were her dad. ”

B: "No......I'm her mother'......”

The little white rabbit jumped up to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred small breads?" ”

Boss: "Ah, I'm sorry, not so much".

That's it... The little white rabbit walked away dejectedly.

On the second day of the imitation spine, the little white rabbit jumped to the bakery, "Boss, are there a hundred small breads?" ”

Boss: "I'm sorry, but I still don't."

That's it... The little white rabbit went away again dejectedly.

On the third day, the little white rabbit jumped up and down to the bakery, "Boss, do you have a hundred small breads for the reserve?" ”

The boss said happily: "Yes, yes, sell today we have a hundred small breads!" ”

The little white rabbit took out the money: "Great, I'll buy two!" ”