How to use appropriate criticism?

We know that "there are no rules, there is no circle", and the education of children can not only have love, but also have rules, so when establishing rules, criticism will also be used, and criticism has a method.

Pay attention to the following points when criticizing:1The time for criticism should be limited to 1 minute. It's useless to talk too much, sometimes silence is better than sound, and talking too much makes people rebel.

2.Criticize only for the one thing that makes a mistake. Don't mention the previous incident, let alone the matter of Chen Sesame Rotten Grain.

3.Don't criticize the child itself. That is, what I saw before is "heavy blame, light blame others", don't make personal attacks, many times, we have said too much.

For teachers, who are faced with particularly naughty children every day, these points really need to be reflected.

In the face of criticism, my first reaction is a very violent emotional resistance, an emotion of anger or unacceptable grievance. It's hard to accept criticism, to be honest, it's really hard to accept direct criticism from others, and I will repeatedly chew on the content of these criticisms in my heart to find a reason to excuse myself, so in this case, it's actually my heart that recognizes his criticism, I think he is right, I just have such shortcomings, and there is also a kind of unjust criticism, that is, you haven't done such a thing, and you don't have such a meaning or motive, but others will misunderstand you. If you have been wronged, you will be guilty of it, but you know that you are not guilty of such a crime, and at this time it is a different emotion, a very strong emotion of rebellious anger.

That is to say, in fact, criticism can be divided into two kinds, one is that after you analyze it, you can determine that it is right, his criticism is symptomatic criticism, this kind of criticism we should not be very emotional to deal with him, but seriously think about such a wise question to clarify why you have such shortcomings, of course, don't belittle yourself too much, you can think of him as a kind of external feedback; As a tool for behavior regulation, don't have too many emotional things, and use rational thinking to understand what others say about you.

For example, I remember going to an interview in my senior year, and the interviewer's evaluation of me was that he thought I was ridiculous, very bad, that my thinking was not reflected at all, that I was completely imprisoned in my own thoughts, that I could not express what the interviewer wanted, that I was very stupid, and that I was even more embarrassed by using a pompous form of socialization to cover up my embarrassment.

Then another kind of criticism is actually slanderous criticism, which is not true, you know that what he said is not true, it is not the criticism generated by your behavior, but the critic's own very subjective assumption of behavior, this kind of behavior should actually be borne by the critic himself, you want to imagine a person's unjustified abusive behavior, in the eyes of the outside world. Most people will think that this abusive person is a problematic person.

To sum up, in the face of criticism, you should not have excessive emotions, you can generate anger and shame, but you should also be able to control it, you should think deeply about constructive criticism, use it, turn it into nourishment, and use it as a guide and a help for your future progress. Then there is no need to resist excessively against unwarranted abuse and grievances, because you know that this is this person, because you know that the person who made this behavior is actually a negligent person, and his negligent behavior should be improved by himself, and you can give him a chance later, let him know that he has actually done something wrong, of course, you can also not give him this opportunity, let him go wrong if he does something wrong, because some people are not worthy of your stop, and you have to be worthy of you to care about him and care about him.