Wow, dear, please, who of you will write back, I m the class leader, I ll form a cabinet, oh, our te

A cool breeze blows, pieces of white clouds pass by, rivers are crystal clear, and high-rise buildings rise from the ground, which is the hometown after 20 years.

The delivery is a roll, hahaha, aunt and uncle, do it.

It's okay, it's great, I'm really shocked today, I'm almost crying.

The newly appointed magistrate is from Shandong, because he has to hang up the account, he said to the master:"You can buy me two bamboo poles. "

The master put the Shandong accent"Bamboo poles"Listen to it"Pork liver", hurriedly agreed, hurriedly ran to the butcher shop, and said to the shopkeeper:"The new county master wants to buy two pork livers, you are an understanding person, you should know it in your heart! "

The shopkeeper was a clever man, and immediately cut two pork livers and presented another pair of pig ears.

After leaving the butcher's shop, the master thought to himself:"The old man told me to buy pork liver, and of course this pig ear is mine......"So he wrapped the hunting ears and stuffed them in his pockets. Back to the county office, to the county magistrate:"Back to the master, the pork liver has been bought! "

Seeing that the master bought back the pork liver, the magistrate said angrily"Your ears are gone! "When the master heard this, his face turned pale with fright, and he hurriedly replied:"Ear ......Ears ............ hereIn my ......In my pocket! "

The teacher speaks to the students before school: tomorrow the education committee will come to the school to check, tomorrow you must wear a school uniform, remember, you must write a fake note if you have something. Xiao Ming usually doesn't study well and always writes big white characters.

On this day, he really couldn't go to school because of something, so he wrote a fake note and asked his classmates to give it to the teacher, and the teacher was frightened when he saw it, but saw that the full text of the fake note was as follows: "Hello teacher! I went to my father's unit in the morning to see him off, and I would wear filial piety clothes to school in the afternoon."

What kind of school are you going to, there is such a big thing in someone's family, and the teacher hurriedly came to his house on behalf of several class cadres to show care and mourn. When I went to his house, I saw that there was nothing, and later I learned that it was all the fault of the false article. The ruler will know that the end and the bell will be sent; Do not use it indiscriminately; How can filial piety and school uniforms be equated?!!

In ancient times, there was a rich man who was not very literate and spent money to buy a county official. On the first day of his appointment, he was promoted to the court to ask about the case, and the master handed over the roster of prisoners and brought the prisoners to the court. The first prisoner's name was Ran Jiajun, and the county magistrate looked at Ran Jiajun's three words, and wondered a little why he came up with a name called Later.

After the ancient traditional Chinese characters are similar to Junxing) but on the first day of asking the case, I couldn't care so much, how could I show the majesty of the master, so I patted the wood: "Later." Ran Jiajun was also a little puzzled when he heard it, he used to call his name first when he passed through the hall, why did the new county official ask me to go back today.

Thinking that maybe it was the master's new rules, he took a step back. The county magistrate looked a little anxious, I called your name, but you didn't agree, but took a step back. Another slap of surprise:

Further back". Ran Jiajun hurriedly took a step back. The county magistrate was really anxious, and thought that he would find me awkward on the first day of questioning.

Yelling: "Further back". When Ran Jiajun saw that the old man was really anxious, he cried and said with a sad face

The lord can't retreat anymore, there is a wall behind him." The magistrate said, "I call you by name".

The old man and the villain are not called any further, they are called Ran Jiajun". When the county magistrate heard this, his face turned red. Another slap of surprise:

What a handsome, pockmarked face".

There is a family surnamed Pan, and the elders have passed away.

During the family sacrifice, an old gentleman with a strong local accent was invited to be the master of ceremonies.

The obituary is written like this:

Filial piety: Pan Genko.

Filial piety: Chi's.

Filial granddaughter: Pan Liangci.

Filial piety: Pan Daoshi.

But this old gentleman is dizzy and his pronunciation is not standard.

When he followed the obituary roll call, he did not see anything that literally had three points of water or the left capital was missing.

So he read it to him like this: Filial piety, turn ......Follow ......Dou ......When Xiaonan heard it, he felt very strange, but he didn't dare to ask, so he turned over a heel fight.

Then he said: "Filial daughter-in-law, also ......."It's ......」

When the filial daughter-in-law heard it: I'm going to turn it over too? So the filial daughter-in-law also turned over a heel fight.

Again: Filial granddaughter, turn it twice. 」

When the filial granddaughter heard it, she thought that her parents had turned it over, so I would too! So I flipped two heels.

At this time, Xiaosun thought to himself: My father and mother have turned it once, and my sister has also turned it twice, so how many times should I turn it? Thinking about it, I started to get nervous: What to do? I saw the old gentleman tear open his throat and read out loud:

Filial piety ......Flip ......to ......Dead ......」

One day, the teacher walked into the class, and the students stood up and shouted, "Good morning, teacher!" ”

The teacher said indignantly, "Just good morning? What about my afternoon? Isn't it bad? ”

Then the students shouted in unison: "Good afternoon, teacher!" ”

The teacher said indignantly, "What about me at night? ”

The students shouted in unison: "Teacher, it's okay at night!" ”

The teacher nodded and said, "That's it, now shout again!" ”

The students shouted in unison: "Good morning, good afternoon, good afternoon, good evening, teacher!" ”

The teacher said, "Sit down!" Today we're going to review antonyms, and we're going to practice like this, and I'm going to say, you say the antonyms out loud. Start now. ”

Teacher: "The weather is fine today. ”

Student: "It's a bad day. ”

Teacher: "It's sunny everywhere. ”

Student: "It's cloudy everywhere. ”

Teacher: "The road is crowded. ”

Student: "The road is empty. ”

Teacher: "Young. ”

Student: "Old. ”

Teacher: "Stand." ”

Student: "Lie down".

Teacher: "There was a young man standing on the road. ”

Student: "There's an old man lying down on the road. ”

Teacher: "I picked up a dollar." ”

Student: "I lost a dollar." ”

Teacher: "I picked up a dollar and gave it to the teacher." ”

Student: "I lost a dollar and went to steal the teacher." ”

Teacher: "Wrong, you can't say that!" ”

Student: "That's right, that's what you should say!" ”

Teacher: "Wrong. ”

Student: "Correct. ”

Teacher: "It's not okay, it's illegal!" ”

Student: "That's okay, it's legal!" ”

Teacher: "I said it wrong. ”

Student: "We're right. ”

Teacher: "Listen to the teacher, what the teacher said is correct!" ”

Student: "Listen to us, what the teacher says is wrong!" ”

Teacher: "You are stupid. ”

Student: "We're smart. ”

Teacher: "Stop! ”

Student: "Go ahead!" ”

Teacher: "Stop now!" Stop it! ”

Student: "Let's move on now!" And more! ”

Teacher: "You stupid pigs, I said stop!" ”

Student: "We're all geniuses, we say go ahead!" ”

Teacher: "Listen to the teacher!" ”

Student: "Teacher listens to us!" ”

Teacher: "Students have to listen to the teacher!" ”

Student: "Teachers have to listen to students!" ”

Teacher: "Now stop practicing!" ”

Student: "Now let's get back to the practice!" ”

Teacher: "Are you all endless?" ”

Student: "We have a beginning and an end!" ”

Teacher: "Then you stop!" Stupid pig! ”

Student: "Then let's move on!" Talented! ”

..After that, the teacher angrily walked out of the classroom with the book in his arms.

<> the author's name, please add it yourself. Satisfied.

You are so good, you should want more excellent people to be with you, but the word excellent has not been directly related to me since ancient times, hey, I will never reach it, I hope you can find your own happiness, so that I can be happy.

Don't say something so pretentious, it will make people angry. Directly speaking, I think that between us, **** is not suitable, and I wish you can find a suitable other half for you in the future.

After chatting with you, I think we're a good fit to be friends! I am reluctant to treat you as a lover, because friendship may last longer than love.

I'm sorry, in fact, I met Jun Chu, it's like an old friend, your conditions are very good, it's my own problem, I haven't adjusted myself yet, I don't want to delay you by sending you this text message, because I don't know when I can adjust, I'm really sorry.

The man's name:

I feel sorry that we are not a good fit because I feel that I am not worthy of you. You can find a better one than me.

In fact, it was all forced by the family, the blind date was over, and the task was over. I'm sorry I don't want to!

Hey, brother, I've been looking for a girl all my life.

I'm sorry!! We are not suitable to be lovers, you will surely find a better one than me...