The child is particularly rubbing, how to set rules for him?

1. Different causes and responses to children's friction.

1) Seeking excessive attention – children want their mom to be there for them all the time or to spend more time with them. The slower that thing is done, the longer Mom spends time with her.

Coping: The mother gives the child enough time (preferably a fixed time each week) to reduce the child's insecurity. When the child knows that the mother will have time for him, he will not be too clingy.

2) Power struggle - the mother's frequent urging makes the child resist. I still want to "win over my mother" - the more you push, the slower I have to do it; You make me fast, I want to be slow; You have to listen to me.

Coping: Mothers are interested in involving their children in family affairs, especially household chores. Let children experience a sense of responsibility and value from power, and let children feel that they are part of the family and are needed by the family.

3) Self-deprecation – What to do is very difficult and beyond the child's ability. Or the child is extremely unconfident and does not believe that he can do well. In this case, they will "break the jar and break it", passively resist, and will no longer be able to and no longer willing to complete the task quickly.

Coping: The mother assigns some tasks that are easy to complete for the child, so that the child gradually builds self-confidence. Encourage your child to make every little bit of progress.

2. UseConventionsTables and other tools to give children free time.

For example, we can discuss with your child that you start writing homework every afternoon when you come home from school, start washing up at 9:30 p.m., and let your child control the time between homework and before washing. When children find that writing homework quickly means playing for a long time, they have the motivation to do things quickly. It should be noted that the production of the routine table must involve the children more.

A schedule of routines made by parents that children do not want to follow.

All children are very abrasive in the eyes of their parents.

1. Due to the characteristics of physical functions, the process of accepting things is relatively slow, and it takes time to understand and accept and cope, do you give children enough time to react? Sometimes the more you push, the more he will grind. A thing can be done in 2 minutes, but it takes him 10 minutes, grinding and chirping.

One reason may be that the child does not concentrate enough to do things, and thinks about this thing and that, and the other is that the child has no sense of time at all.

Second, it may not be that the child is grinding, but that the parents are too anxious. It is recommended that parents first find the reason from themselves, rather than simply and rudely labeling their children as rubbing. Parents should reflect on whether they are too anxious and always feel that their children are rubbing, but in fact, the children are not rubbing, but the parents themselves are too anxious.

3. Teach children to understand the concept of time. This needs to be repeated by parents in their daily lives. Starting from the change of day and night, starting from the different expressions of flowers and trees in the changing seasons, observing the changes of clocks, etc., let children understand the concept of time.

Fourth, let the child start with specific things and work with the child to rule the time. For example, starting from getting up, watching the time for writing homework, and playing time, let him control it by himself. Parents are there to help, monitor the progress of things, discuss with the child the reasonableness of the time limit, whether there is any need for improvement, etc.

5. Parents lead by example and play an exemplary role in time control. For example, it is stipulated that a 30-minute walk after a meal and a 20-minute housework ......Take your children with you, get rid of your usual habits and so on.

Polishing the star, a mother, love life, love travel, love learning. We are willing to polish the stars and grow together with you!

Make a time plan for him, strictly require her to do the corresponding thing at the corresponding time, and finish it within the limited time, and increase the punishment and reward system.

Take the simplest example, writing homework, now the amount of children's homework is not particularly much, write well for 2 hours is enough to complete all the homework, even if some children have a little more homework, but it can be completed, but some children just procrastinate, grinding, and write until 12 o'clock in the evening can not be finished, and continue to write the next day.

Now let's calculate the time, from school, home, until after eating, it is about 7:30, a little later is 8 o'clock, two hours, the longest time is 10 o'clock, then, where is the difference in the child's time, it is the difference.

So, first of all, talk to him to understand that so many things are fixed, finish things early, make a timetable for him, and strictly require her according to the timetable, after he exceeds the time, add housework such as washing dishes and sweeping the floor, although it is as a punishment, it also cultivates the child's hands-on ability, in addition to asking the child, as a parent, you must also set an example, and you can't do things slowly.

Since punishment has been mentioned, it is necessary to mention rewards, because when the child has done it, what needs encouragement, of course, is not only verbal encouragement, but also practical, such as buying him his favorite toys according to his preferences, buying her favorite snacks according to the child's tastes, etc., with material encouragement is very effective.

In order to ensure the correction effect of the child, parents should do a good job of supervision, here is not just to teach the child, to put the child in an equal position to communicate, which will facilitate communication and timely understand the situation.

I have an uncle, their children are very difficult to do things, a thing can be done in five minutes, he insists on doing it for you for half an hour, so we are very helpless.

Recently, when he went to junior high school, he studied more subjects, and he had to write his homework until 12 o'clock in the middle of the night every day, and then my uncle decided to make a plan for him. <>

First of all, you must get up at six o'clock in the morning every morning, brush your teeth, wash your face and eat within 40 minutes, and secondly, it is the problem of writing homework, each homework must be completed within an hour, and you can't overtime if there are no other special circumstances overtime, you have to be fined, so that he knows that everything must be completed on time.

The next step is to cultivate more time concepts for him, let him know the preciousness of time, and then let him control his own time, don't always let his parents discipline him, and let him be conscious.

In the end, this plan was formulated for him, and he must insist on helping him complete it, and he must not feel that the child is still working hard, so he will relax, and remember that strict love is harm! The more severe parents treat their children, the better their children will be, and doting will only lead children to the abyss of all evil!

Children are grinding, procrastination and can't finish homework, grinding on the way to school, making trouble while eating a meal, calling to take a bath but always can't put down the toys in their hands, shouting to brush their teeth but always saying to wait. I tried to change it with the following.

1. Quantify time.

The child has a vague concept of time, for example, I say that I am going to be late for 5 minutes, but the child does not know how long 5 minutes is. This requires the concept of quantifying time. For example, 5 minutes is equal to the time of 1 song, 10 minutes is equal to the time of 1 picture book, and so on.

We can also use some gadgets, such as the hourfunnel, which are available online. There are different specifications such as 10 minutes, 20 minutes, and 30 minutes.

Second, make a good time arrangement.

Arrange daily things with your child to form a fixed order. For example, eat for 30 minutes at night, take a shower for 10 minutes, brush your teeth at what time, read picture books for a long time, and sleep.

When doing it, if one of them runs out, tell the child that the other thing is shorter or canceled.

3. Make rules and stick to them.

Set the rules with your child in advance, follow the rules every time, and do not compromise. For example, if your child doesn't want to change his clothes when he gets up, tell him that if the allotted time is not completed, we will go to school in his pajamas today.

4. Set up rewards.

To make a reward**, prepare some cute stickers (such as little red flowers, little stars). Each time your child completes a task on time, give your child 1 sticker. After accumulating a certain amount of stickers every week, let your child choose one thing he likes and his parents accompany him to complete it.

Fifth, bear the consequences.

Let your child know that if you don't follow the rules, you will suffer the natural consequences. It is a natural consequence, not a deliberate punishment from parents. For example, if the child does not eat properly on time, the mother will put away the bowl, and the child will not be able to eat snacks when he is hungry at night.

Let your child know that if you don't eat, you'll go hungry.

Try this trick to stop your child from grinding.

What should I do if a five-year-old child is rubbing? Star Awareness Project

In order for children to have a correct sense of time, parents must lead by example. In this way, the child will be familiar with the song, and will also have a sense of time. If you just blindly ask your child to have a sense of time, and parents don't do it, then it will be difficult to achieve results.

First of all, when their children have completed their own set goals in their daily learning, and make good use of their good time to complete their learning tasks and achieve their own learning results, then in this case, as parents, they should praise and encourage their children in a timely manner, and further motivate their children in this way, so that they can find self-confidence, so as to further explore and summarize the rules in the process of growth, so as to better help children establish a correct concept of time. This method is far more meaningful than parents' blind preaching, and it is also more acceptable to their own children.

Secondly, as a parent should try to calm their emotions, to realize that children will not establish a concept of time, there is resistance in learning, love to rub is a common phenomenon, to help children establish a correct concept of time, parents first need to communicate and exchange with their children, so that children realize the meaning of time and the importance of reeds, learn to be true themselves, allocate time and make good use of time, so that children can establish a correct concept of time in learning.

In fact, for many parents, when their children are studying or doing homework, they always like to rub and always fail to establish a correct concept of time, which makes these parents more headaches and often lose their temper with their children, but this will not only not have a good effect.

Make a time plan for your child, and buy a countdown timer for your child to do homework, which can be convenient and better to manage time, so that you can scatter your posture to better let your child form the concept of late time.

Let children be their own time managersWhen children procrastinate, or have various small problems without a sense of time, parents must reduce urging.

Parents should set an example for their children, set a good example for their children, tell their children about the preciousness of time, and set up some reward and punishment systems.

In the process of growing up, parents must be heartbroken. When the child reaches a certain age, he will have a different personality and will be rebellious, which makes parents very annoyed. And some children will be slow when doing things, so that parents want to know what's going on.

1. Children do things slowly, rubbing, this period, parents should give the child to improve a pleasant and positive energy environment, so that its mood is very relaxed, when it acts slowly, parents should tell the child that the friction will occur in various situations, will make it lose something, let it be vigilant, can not because of its friction and delay things.

2. The environment for eating and dining is very important, a little child eats very slowly, give the child **light** during this meal, so that it is comfortable, and can not criticize the child during the meal, so that the child has no face.

3. Family education should be the same as kindergarten education, parents should communicate with teachers frequently, grasp the child's situation in time, and let it learn to arrange its own life and rest.

4. In order to make the child have self-confidence, we should establish some good living habits for the baby at ordinary times, teach it when to do things, and not always rub it, which will delay a lot of things, try to make it have higher enthusiasm and maintain a good positive attitude to face various things.

Clear rules, clear instructions.

Familiarize yourself with the time, keep consolidating.

See the world from your child's point of view and slow down.

There is such a story on Zhihu:

Once on the street, the child walked very slowly, and the mother urged her at first, but then she became a little impatient, and directly squatted down and asked the child, "Do you still want to go out to play, and go home if you don't leave". At this time, the squatting mother looked around and found that there were briskly walking feet and hurried legs all around, and from the child's point of view, she couldn't see the road ahead at all. What is easy in our eyes is not necessarily simple in the child's world, and we cannot measure the child's behavior by our standards.

Sometimes, stop and look at the world from the perspective of children, I believe you will have new understandings and opinions, and you will be able to understand the reasons for the children's "grinding".

Develop hobbies.

More encouragement and less urging.

Always urging your child will cause your child to have negative thoughts that "you can't do anything well". This will continue to erode your child's motivation and self-confidence. For children with slow temperament, parents have more understanding and encouragement, and seeing their small progress and changes can become an accelerant for them to move forward.

An extra sentence of "take your time, Mom and Dad know you are great" and a less sentence of "Hurry up, don't linger there" to see and amplify your child's strengths and potentials will make your child's journey forward more steadily.

Overcome dependency.

Some children's friction in doing things may be caused by dependence on their parents. For example, when parents see that their children are not doing well, they will take the initiative to help him do things well, which affects the child's ability to deal with things alone, so when he encounters some obstacles, the child will naturally like to rub and wait for parents to help him do things. At this time, parents should encourage their children to complete things by themselves, even if the children do not do well, they should praise them, help them analyze and summarize the lessons of failure, and then provide opportunities to solve things again.