Why do Chinese parents like to compare, and why do Chinese parents like to compare their children?

The reason why Chinese parents pin their expectations on their children is, to a certain extent, to extend their expectations for certain concrete things to their children. For example, the mother has always had a ** dream, when she has a child, she will guide her child in the direction of **. This is just one of the expectations, and there will be a variety of different expectations, and all these expectations are based on the helplessness of being surpassed under the trend of comparison, so she pinned her expectations on her children to make up for her own shortcomings.

If you can't realize your own wishes, you always hope that future generations can realize them for yourself. In fact, you need to be what you want your child to become. If you expect your child to be a thinker, you should be patient and also willing to think.

Instead of only caring about money-related topics, only caring about the little things in front of you. Have a plan, have a goal, and learn to think. If you expect your child to be a person who loves to learn, then you should be a person who loves to learn.

When you have time, you learn, not enjoy. If you expect your child to be a sports person, then you should be a sports person. If you lie on the couch every day, does the child run out to exercise alone?

What do you think? Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

Children are the continuation of their parents' lives and the inheritance of their bloodline. Therefore, parents always want their children to be better and better than themselves. Parents become anxious when their children don't perform as well as they want.

Parents are even anxious as if they are not satisfied, and worry all day long. This is what many mothers are thinking about today.

However, in school, positive comparisons can provide children with motivation to learn, while negative comparisons can distract children. Nowadays, in the inconsequential aspects of the calculation, gradually distort the original correct three views, the situation of comparison has been common in the campus, on the one hand, the child's values have not been correctly guided, on the other hand, the campus environment has not paid attention to the construction and management of this angle, and now this wind of comparison has blown to the kindergarten.

Due to the gradual improvement of economic conditions, many parents are willing to invest more in their children when they are early children, giving their children the best toys and the best snacks. This kind of wholeheartedly good attitude for children is understandable, but these kindergarten children are in the most innocent period, and their own concepts are easily influenced by their parents.

In fact, the children themselves do not have this sense of comparison, nor do they understand what this kind of comparison means, and more parents are dominant.

The most obvious harm brought about by this misguidance of parents is excessive money awareness, and children will recognize expensive and brand-name things more in their minds, and at the same time despise and spit on those seemingly cheap and ordinary items, which in turn leads to the people who use these items.

Secondly, this kind of comparison will also bring great pressure to the parents of the child, the family behind each child is different, there are wealthy parents who have a relatively poor life, each parent sends their children to kindergarten to learn in the hope that the child has a good learning environment, rather than to develop the habit of comparing with each other.

The biggest commonality of mothers in the source of the country is that they love to compare, because they also like to say, "You see how good other people's children are, they are better than you, why are you not as good as others"! Or show off to the neighbors. Not to mention the material, it can be seen from the children's side that they do love to compare, and never consider the children's feelings.

I think it's acceptable to a certain extent that parents like to compare, but if your parents are excessive, you need to remind your parents. You can tell your parents what is really going on in your family, and then tell them that too much comparison will not only not bring happiness, but will also make the family stressful.

If your parents like to compare you to other people's children, it is a kind of hatred that iron is not made of steel. It's also detrimental to your growing life. You maliciously tell your parents what you really think, and then tell them that you will try, and that you are under a lot of pressure, hoping that they will not always compare you to others.

It's normal to have a sense of comparison, everyone has a comparison, this is one of the nature of human beings. If you think about it carefully, we ourselves will also have the psychology of comparison, material and spiritual.

Most of our parents are ordinary people, and most of them have a shallow understanding of the world in the general environment, and they have experienced the era of material scarcity in the old society, so they care about material things to a relatively high degree, and in most people's cognition, material equals happiness.

The comparison mentioned here is very likely to be the comparison of the parents' hatred of themselves. This psychology is easy to explain, the cost of parents raising a child is very, very, very high, and the cost of money, time, and energy is very much, which we can experience when we are parents. With so much effort, there is always hope that there will be a return, and this return is not just a material return, but more spiritual.

Your excellence, success, and filial piety can give them a sense of achievement, satisfaction, and a higher degree of self-identity.

In reality, there are not many people with a relatively high spiritual realm, and spiritual energy still needs to be obtained from the outside world, and children are one of the largest ways for them to obtain spiritual energy.

Therefore, as a child, you should be as considerate as possible to your parents, and you don't need to care about comparison in some understandable things, but if your parents' comparison psychology affects your life, you need to communicate with them.

Tell your parents directly that this comparison is wrong, tell your parents what you really think, and strive to get your parents to get rid of this habit.

You can talk to your parents about it, because excessive comparison will make people think that this person is vulgar, so you communicate well with your parents and believe that they can accept it.

You should sit down and talk to them, and if they can understand what you mean, they won't compare again.

You should talk to your parents and tell them not to compare, because it is too much time, too much money, and meaningless.

But parents explain that comparison is a bad behavior, and comparison will make others think that you love to show off, which will affect interpersonal relationships, and I believe that if they understand these disadvantages, they will not compare.

You should tell your parents: "Comparison is not right, I understand the truth as a child, why you adults just don't understand." ”

People are more popular than people are dead" to tell them this sentence, to let them know that there is always no result than anything, there are always better and worse than you.

I think I can find a chance to have a good chat with them, so that they don't like to compare so much, because their comparison psychology leads to low self-esteem.

I will talk to my parents well, I think you should seek truth from facts according to your actual situation, not compare, this is a bad style.

Tell them that you hate it, that it's not right to be compared, and that they will have a bad influence on you.