Let s talk about it, how do you think about beating and scolding children?

Although it is true that parents can manage their children better by being stricter, if some children's poor psychological tolerance will cause shadows, it is better for parents to be able to preach to educate their children.

When they are forced to hit their children, parents should regard hitting their children as a kind of educational ritual, and they must clearly tell their children why they are beaten, how many beatings they will take this time, and how to deal with them next time they make mistakes. Don't hit your child too hard, don't hit your child to vent your bad feelings, and don't beat your child indiscriminately.

When a child makes a mistake, parents should not rush to hit the child, because hitting the child impulsively is often counterproductive. At this time, you can express your feelings to your child at the moment and let him know that you are dissatisfied with his behavior.

When beating and scolding children, although the children are sincerely afraid on the surface, deep down they have no reflection on their wrong behaviors, let alone how to correct their wrong behaviors, and even some extreme children will find ways to escape from the family and escape from the control of their parents.

Shame before acting, doing the right thing can be taught! The best education is not to beat and scold, nor do you say that he does it, but you are doing it, and then he follows it, teaches by word and deed, and plays the role of a parent, so that the child will have a good example and the right direction to move forward.

People are not sages, and it is inevitable to make mistakes, but as parents, we must set an example of knowing that mistakes can be changed, put down our faces, sincerely apologize to our children, and obtain sincere forgiveness from our children, which is also to teach children to have the courage to take responsibility. ‍‍

The original intention of punishment is to make children aware of their mistakes from the bottom of their hearts, and at the same time avoid making the same mistake next time.

As the saying goes, parents are the best teachers for their children, and their words and deeds will be subconsciously understood by their children as saying that this is normal and should not be condemned and restricted, and they will take for granted what they see in books or other people's advice as wrong and unnecessary, so that it will be easier to continue such tutoring naturally.

When people are angry, their IQ is zero, and impulsive decisions often hurt the most, which is why people always say "calm down to think", so what you need to do when you are extremely angry is not to transfer your anger to the child, but to leave the scene where the child is to calm yourself, and then discipline the child after regaining his senses.

There is an old Chinese saying, "filial piety comes from under the stick", but is this really the case? No! In essence, this is just changing the child's behavior according to the will of the parents, which not only hurts the child's body, but also hurts the heart and feelings, and ultimately leads to the great possibility that what comes out under the stick is not filial piety, but "rebellious son"!

Professors at the University of Texas in the United States found that two years old is the easiest age to learn aggression, because children at this age do not know what the consequences of their actions will be, and they cannot control themselves well. If his parents often discipline him with beatings and scolding, then he will think that the most effective way to solve the problem is to attack, and he will become more and more aggressive.

For children, whether it is beating or scolding, they will carry lifelong scars, and for a family, any of the above consequences are very likely to be a devastating blow.

No! Because scolding education is outdated, and scolding does not make children more obedient, I don't think it is the most effective one.

This kind of education is very bad, children may feel inferior, become introverted, and unwilling to have too much communication with their parents, and some children may have a rebellious mentality, the more they educate, the more they don't listen, and they will come against you.

Of course not, some children have a more stubborn personality, and such a way will only make children more and more rebellious, and cannot serve the purpose of educating children.

How terrifying it is to beat and scold children, look at this, do you still choose "beating and scolding cultural education".

Lu Xun said: There are two ways to teach children in China.

One of them is to let it fly high, no matter at all, swearing is okay, and it is okay to beat people, in the door or at the door is a tyrant, a hegemon, but when it comes to the outside, it is like a spider that has lost its web, and immediately has no level.

The second is to give a cold face or reprimand all day long, so that he is afraid and timid, like a slave and a puppet, but his parents have a good reputation for being 'well-behaved', and the success of his arrogant teaching is to wait until he is let go outside, then he will never fly or bounce like a small bird in a cage temporarily.

Many parents accept the cultural baptism of the new era and will not beat and scold their children, but there are some parents who are feudal and still believe in the "true knowledge" of "filial piety with sticks".

1. Physical trauma.

Parents usually take action, and they will use a means around them, such as a wooden stick, a ruler or something else, which will cause pain to the child.

A four-year-old boy in Gansu Province was hit on the buttocks by his father with a wooden stick, and his kidney function was damaged, and his family spent tens of thousands of yuan to get rid of the "disease" caused by this "beating".

2. Trauma in the depths of the soul.

Children's central nervous system is very fragile, and rough scolding methods will make children highly nervous, scared, and even cause psychological problems.

1) Rebellious psychology.

Some children are not well-behaved after being beaten and scolded, but are becoming more and more "tough", and they like to do everything against their parents.

Why don't you listen to the beating and scolding, because it is a silent "resistance method" of the child, in such a situation, parents must pay attention, many problem children, all generated.

2) A sense of discarding.

In the process of beating and scolding their children, some parents are outspoken and will say hurtful things ---I don't want you anymore" and "give you to the police" ......

This kind of scaring language is psychologically harmful to the child, and he is becoming more and more timid.

3) Acts of violence.

Children who are often beaten and scolded will choose the same method to treat the people around them. They all feel that parents are the best education for children, and children's imitation is very strong.

Generally, children who love to beat others must have been beaten, and understanding such a method can make others compromise before they can hit others!

4) Hatred of mental state.

Many parents feel that their children are raised by themselves, and it doesn't matter how they beat and scold. This kind of thinking is also incorrect, after the child is three years old, the dependence on parents gradually decreases, and the beating and scolding will make the child emotionally alienated from his parents, and in serious cases, it will also cause hatred.

This is the impact of beating and scolding children, that is, the tip of the iceberg, a drop in the ocean, and there are many negative sisters-in-law, we will not list them one by one.

Parents should remember that don't beat their children, and use the best choice culture to educate outstanding children is our original intention.

Scolding children will make children rebellious and change their personalities, which is not conducive to the development of children's emotional intelligence. Therefore, parents use beating and scolding to educate their children wrongly.

Psychological trauma, children's nervous system is very fragile, and rough scolding will make children highly nervous, fearful, and even cause psychological disorders.

Parents must pay attention to ways and means when educating their children, and do not beat and scold their children, which is not conducive to the physical and mental health of their children, and will make their children have a sense of fear.

Every parent wants to educate their children well, and this is a very proud thing. But it is very difficult to educate children, some parents will choose to beat and scold their children to educate, I think this kind of education is not good for children, but parents think it is good for children. The main reasons are as follows.

1.Parents think that this type of education is good for their children.

It is said that filial piety comes out under the stick, which is to encourage children to be beaten and scolded, but in fact, this education method is not necessarily right. Parents believe that the fastest way to educate their children is through scolding, if the child has done something wrong, he can correct the matter faster. There is some truth to this.

Because everyone is afraid of punishment, punishment can limit one's behavior more quickly. But punishment can also bring great stress to people, which is not good for people's physical and mental health. By punishing the child, we were able to change some things at that time, but the symptom did not cure the root cause, and the child will do it in the future.

2.Educate children to respect children, not only to treat the symptoms, but also to treat the root causes.

Beating and scolding children can only manage children for a while, do you have to beat and scold children for the rest of your life? That's also very bad for your child's mental health. We should find the source of children's wrong habits, communicate with children seriously, and educate and guide children from language communication to words and deeds.

In this way, children can be fundamentally taught to do things well. Although this behavior is relatively slow, the effect on the child is very long, which is equivalent to slow work and fine work.

Scolding education is not advisable and is not conducive to children's mental health. We should guide and educate children on the basis of respecting them, so that we can treat both the symptoms and the root causes.

"Scolding education" is not really good for children, because although this kind of education can form some pressure on children, after all, it is not enough to respect children's behavior, and it is easy to affect children's mental health, resulting in psychological extremism, which will have a negative impact on children's growth and character development.

There is no mutual respect, and many people in society have discovered that there is a lack of one of the most basic things in our society, that is, mutual respect between people. Dirty words are casually scolded, the rich look down on the poor, and even the poor look down on themselves, even between relatives and friends, there is often mutual disrespect and contempt. One of the main reasons for the formation of this social state, in addition to the problems of some people's values, is that many people have implemented "beating and scolding education" since childhood, and lack basic respect for children, either beating or scolding, so children do not know how to respect others when they grow up, even their own parents, because he has not been respected by others or even his parents since he was a child.

Causing psychological shadows and extremism, and the child is beaten and scolded too much, and the slightly cowardly personality will leave a psychological shadow, resulting in timidity, fear of things, low self-esteem and other bad characters; Even if he was beaten and scolded violently when he was a child, his thoughts were suppressed by violence, and the radical personality he developed after growing up and free will also break out, affecting his future future, and at the same time, he will learn the means of violent beating and scolding from his parents to deal with other people around him.

Education to guide, I personally think that educating children is like Dayu to control the water, when the flood is difficult to block, it can be said that the more the water will rise, only by taking the method of channeling through, in order to gradually solve the flood problem. The child's temper and personality are similar, it is best not to use the violent way of beating and scolding to educate him, otherwise it may cause the child's psychological problems, or let the child learn to use violence, do not know how to respect others, it is best to use both soft and hard, with a two-pronged approach to guide and persuade the child, explain the reason to them, and let them take the initiative to change themselves. Only those children who are particularly naughty and disobedient at all can appropriately use beating and scolding to combat his arrogance.

I don't think that scolding education is for the good of children. This is just an excuse for parents to vent their inner unhappiness, and if you implement beating and scolding education for today's children, it may cause him to rebel or cause character defects at a very young age.

"Scolding education" is generally for the good of the child, because the child must be punished accordingly if he makes a mistake. But if it is overdosed, it will cause some harm to the child.

Whether you beat or scold, the starting point is for the good of the child, which is undeniable, just think about yourself when your parents beat and scolded you before.

This kind of education is wrong, and it is easy to hurt the child's self-esteem, causing the child to have extreme low self-esteem and not like to talk.

It is not right to use beating and scolding to educate children, which will make children more rebellious and will lose their relationship with children.

Parents may think that it is good for their children, but their children's self-esteem is very strong and may annoy you.

In fact, this kind of education has a bad influence on children, which will make children have an inferiority complex.

What a fart, he will be good for you in the future.

Do you cry when you hit your child?

You think.

<> six sentences of "What you must say after beating and scolding your child"."

What to say after scolding your child.

First sentence. Do you think Mom did the right thing at the time, what did you think?"

Reason analysis: Good communication is a two-way street, and we should give children the opportunity to express their ideas and consider problems from the perspective of children.

Second sentence. Baby Jiannianyou I'm sorry, Mom didn't control her emotions today, she was angry with you, we all made mistakes, and now we will correct it together"

Reason analysis: Parents sometimes make mistakes, we must learn to admit mistakes appropriately, but we can better understand our children.

Third sentence. No matter how your mother punishes you, your mother will always love you in her heart"

Reason analysis: Children also need a sense of security, and when children know that their parents' love is unconditional, children are more likely to make changes.

Fourth sentence. Mom criticized you, but you still have something to improve on this matter"Specific method: further communicate with the child and help him analyze what is wrong with this matter and why it was done wrong.

Fifth sentence. It's okay to make mistakes, everyone makes mistakes sometimes, and Mom hopes that you can reflect and correct them"

How to do it: Raise expectations for your child, tell him how to correct it, what needs to be paid attention to, and explain the reasons.

Sixth sentence. Let's make an agreement, in the future, my mother will control her emotions, don't be angry with you, and keep the promise of what you promised not to do"

Reason analysis: The agreement is a two-way street, and while restraining the children, the parents must also abide by it.