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Communication is a common problem in family education, and it is also a headache for parents. Every child wants to talk to their parents. But sometimes parents block the channels of communication, parents must first reflect on themselves, whether the child will be harshly lectured by you every time after talking to you, or when the child wants to talk to you, you are very casual to prevaricate.
If there is such a situation, whether it is once or twice or many times, parents should pay attention to the change. In addition, as the child grows older, it is accompanied by a small rebellion, which is also the cause of poor parent-child communication. I'll give you some advice:
1. Accept your child unconditionally. It is to accept the child's original disacceptance of your communication style, and accept the child's current lack of doing as "you" intended. That is, no matter how well the child is behaving in all aspects, you must accept the child with love and express it to the child through words and behaviors, so that he knows that no matter what her behavior, the love of his parents will never leave.
2. Consider problems from the perspective of children, and adjust their communication methods and methods in a timely manner.
3. Choose a topic for communication according to the child's situation. The choice of communication topics should vary from time to time, from person to person, more casual, less principled, and more to explore topics that can be communicated anywhere in daily life, such as talking about interesting things around you, talking about his hobbies, in addition to discussing learning, news, interesting facts, hobbies, etc., you can also talk about your own work and life, children like to understand their parents and participate in their parents' lives, and can discuss the joys and troubles of work with their parents, children not only feel a sense of accomplishment, but also understand their parents and life. This increases the sense of responsibility.
Finally, don't always put your parents on the shelf in front of your children, and don't think that you can only be strict in order to suppress your children, but in fact, this can only distance yourself from your children and cause estrangement. In addition, if the child is unable to express his wishes normally because his parents are too strict, his thoughts and emotions will become negative, and he will cry when he communicates, because he does not know how to express his wishes, and on the other hand, he is afraid of being criticized by his parents. Therefore, parents should create a relaxed atmosphere when communicating with their children and listen patiently to what their children have to say.
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As the child grows up, he is no longer a child, he has his own circle of friends, and he also has his own unique thinking and ideas, and thinking-oriented behavior is often contrary to the behavior expected by his parents, maybe he sees that his classmates have changed their hairstyles, and he also wants to change, but his parents are absolutely against it, in this case as a parent can be educated like this:
1. Understand the trend of contemporary children and empathize
Every era has a different trend, often parents do not understand the lead to their children's behavior of the opposition, as parents can try to understand their popular things, **, hairstyles, more understanding is not a bad thing, keep pace with the times to understand the child's thoughts, do the first step of education: empathy.
2. Find an opportunity to communicate with your child individually
After understanding the root causes of the child's thoughts and behaviors, the next step is to further communicate with the child, find an appropriate time and occasion, and have a more formal communication with the child face-to-face, so that the child can realize that you understand him and think about him, and you have made a certain amount of effort for this.
3. Carefully analyze the pros and cons of what happens to your child, but respect his choice
Respect is one of the necessary factors in the communication process, and respecting the child allows him to have his own choice in everything and things, which not only makes him not resist communication, but also further enhances the child's independence. Because the child's social experience is still shallow, as a parent, you should carefully analyze for him and help him give advice, but the action cannot be done for the child, and the bird must always learn to fly independently.
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Why are children reluctant to communicate with their parents, and it is the children who need to be educated? Obviously, parents should first learn how to communicate with their children benignly, right?
In the process of growing up, children are willing to communicate more with their parents on the first day, communicate more, and even they will want to convey their joys, sorrows and sorrows to their parents, and in the end, different children gradually become different, some children have always maintained the habit of communicating with their parents, and some children gradually begin to hide their hearts in the bottom of their hearts and no longer express them, which causes this impact is not the child, but the state of the parents in the face of the child!
If you think your child is reluctant to communicate with her parents, what is the definition of communication by parents? Do the two parties stand on the basis of equality and communicate and understand each other, or do they start preaching, or even reprimand, and forcibly impose their own views on their children once they have different opinions? When facing children, do you seriously consider the child's demands, or do you habitually perfunctory and only seek a moment of peace?
Have you noticed when your child has become more and more resistant to communication, and have you really considered the reasons from your child's point of view?
The truth is that when a child is unwilling to communicate with his parents, what he really thinks in his heart is - you are not willing to take him seriously and communicate with him on an equal footing, knowing that telling the truth will be boring for yourself, and even attract reprimands, so why do you want to communicate with you?
Children are a mirror of their parents, and their attitude towards their parents is often reflected in the problems of the parents themselves, so if you want to better educate your children, please educate yourself first!
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When a person struggles to raise a child and then discovers that the child's behavior does not meet their expectations, it can be a source of great disappointment and confusion. In this case, here are some suggestions and strategies to deal with this:
1.Accept reality: The first thing is to accept reality and realize that everyone has their own independent personality and behavioral choices.
Although the parent's education has a great influence, the child is also influenced by other factors such as social environment, peers, **, etc. Accepting this reality helps to reduce the blame and self-blame for yourself.
2.Establish open lines of communication: Engage in open and open conversations with your child whenever possible. Build a closer parent-child bond by listening to and understanding their perspectives and feelings. Respect their independence, but also express your concerns and expectations.
3.Seek professional help: If you are extremely confused or concerned about your child's behavior, it is wise to seek help from a mental health professional. They can provide professional assessment and advice, as well as advise you on strategies and support.
4.Develop good self-regulation skills: It is important to be sensitive and sensitive when dealing with emotional distress caused by your child's behavior, and learn to manage your emotions and stress.
Help yourself cope better by recognizing your emotional responses, using relaxation techniques such as deep breathing and meditation, and finding ways to regulate your emotions.
5.Re-evaluate your approach to education: Review your own approach to education and think about whether there are any adjustments and improvements that need to be made. Consider adopting a positive approach to education that emphasizes communication, respect, and understanding, as well as encouraging your child to develop self-confidence and independence.
In adulthood, children's behavior is affected by a variety of factors, including family education, individual personality traits, social environment, etc. Parents play an important role in their child's behavior and development, but they are not the only determinants. Striving to adopt a positive approach to education and building good communication and parent-child relationships with children can create a positive impact on their growth and behavioral development.
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The reluctance of children to communicate with their parents is a problem that many families face. If this situation persists for a long time, it can easily lead to tension in family relationships and affect the growth and development of children. So, how to solve the problem of children not wanting to communicate with their parents?
Let's share some solutions.
1.Give your child plenty of space.
Children are reluctant to communicate with their parents because they feel too much interference and constraints. Therefore, parents should give their children enough space to play freely and have their own interests and hobbies and friends. Give your child attention and support when they need to communicate.
2.Listen to your child's voice.
Children are reluctant to communicate with their parents because they feel that their thoughts and feelings are not taken seriously. Therefore, parents should listen to their children and respect their opinions and ideas. When children need to talk, parents should listen patiently and caringly, and do not easily interrupt or criticize children's ideas.
3.Create opportunities for communication.
Children are reluctant to communicate with their parents, probably because of a lack of opportunities to communicate with their parents. Therefore, parents should create opportunities for communication, such as watching movies together, doing crafts, playing games, and so on. In the process of communication, parents should pay attention to the interaction with their children and encourage them to express their thoughts and feelings.
4.Understand your child's needs.
The child's reluctance to communicate with the parent may be due to the fact that the parent does not understand the child's needs. Therefore, parents should understand their children's age, hobbies, learning pressure, and emotional needs. When communicating with children, parents should respect their children's needs and give them adequate support and attention.
5.Seek professional help.
If the child is reluctant to communicate with his or her parents for a long time, parents can seek professional help, such as psychological counseling or family**. Professional help can provide more scientific and effective methods to help parents and children establish a healthier and more positive way of communication.
In conclusion, it is very common for children to be reluctant to communicate with their parents, and parents should actively look for solutions to establish a good family relationship. When communicating with children, parents should focus on listening, respecting and supporting their children's thoughts and feelings, so that children can feel the warmth and love of the family.
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As a junior high school teacher, I have talked to many parents about their children's problems, and the parents said that it seems that he (she) has endless words with his classmates, and he (his or her parents) has nothing to say to us (parents) every day; I'll say a few words, or tell me that you don't understand, or you can go into the house and close the door.
Experienced middle school teachers, who have complained like this, if you persuade hundreds of sentences and help educate for three hours, it is better for a classmate to say "what to write, I didn't write, let's play football first", you can wipe out the ideological work of parents and teachers for a week.
When children enter the fourth or fifth grade of primary school, the greatest influence on them is no longer their parents and teachers, but their peers.
For teachers, there is also "majesty" and "discipline" to discipline children; But for parents, the current little princess emperor is "lawless", disobedient, and does not tell the family about something, which has become a great family education problem.
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Children are reluctant to communicate with their parents, and parents should understand the specific reasons in many ways, whether the parents usually scold a lot, or they are bullied outside and dare not talk to their parents.
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Children are reluctant to communicate with their parents, usually because children are getting older and they have their own little secrets, then as parents should respect their children's choices.
In fact, for children, it is usually because of too much intervention by parents, so they are reluctant to communicate with their parents, parents can try to communicate with their children with the mentality of friends.
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Parents should participate in more parent-child activities with their children, in which the children can enhance emotional communication between their children and their parents, and children will naturally be willing to communicate with their parents.
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Every child's education is actually related to the parent's education method, so as a parent, you should master the education method and let the child communicate more with the parents.
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First of all, you have to get the child's affirmation, and you have to respect the child. For example, if your child wants to tell you something, you interrupt him before he finishes speaking. In such a situation, the child feels that you don't understand him, you don't understand him, and he doesn't want to talk to you.
So be sure to affirm the child and respect the child.
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There is a reason why children are reluctant to communicate with their parents, and maybe the parents' education methods are sometimes wrong, the child does not want to communicate with his parents, he does not want to make his parents angry and does not want to hurt himself, so the child chooses this way to be a parent, and the reason must be found.
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Children's education is inseparable from parents, first of all, parents must understand the reasons why children are reluctant to communicate with you, so that you can choose a more appropriate education method to guide him and care for him.
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Children are reluctant to communicate with their parents, you can see if the child's usual way of getting along with the parent is too strong and affects the child's free choice? That's why children hate their parents, find the reason and then find a way to get along with their children, so it's good.
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It is to talk to the child patiently, once it doesn't work twice, and if it doesn't work twice, it will be three times.
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1. Try to see the child.
The desire to be seen is an essential human need, and only high-quality deep relationships can satisfy this need.
The relationship between parents and children is naturally close, and although many parents push their children farther and farther away through their own efforts, it is not difficult to have an emotional connection with their children if they can let go of a strong sense of self and let their children believe that they are understood.
The point is whether you want to or not?
2. Convey positive emotions.
Many children report good news to their parents but not bad news, because every time they talk about unhappy things, their parents' emotions are more intense than their own, and their emotions are over, and their parents are still immersed in them.
For example, if you are wronged at work, your parents will usually say don't do it and come back. When you have a fight with a colleague, your parents will say, did you offend someone?
In short, they are always sending some negative message and making you feel like a failure. A lot of times confiding is not about getting a solution, it's just pure confiding.
If the other person just listens and expresses understanding to us, then that's enough.
If parents are emotionally out of control every time they encounter problems, how dare children communicate with their parents at will, he doesn't just summarize everything with a sentence of "it's good".
3. Shape your own soul.
Many parents themselves are mediocre, but they demand that their children must be successful people.
In the film "Family Journey", Frank is just a wire worker, sticking to his post for decades. But he demanded that the children must be outstanding, and the children became more and more estranged from him.
So instead of pinning your expectations on others, it is better to start with yourself, enrich your soul, make yourself interesting and meaningful, and children will receive your influence invisibly.
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